Confidence is like “Magic” to Women

They don’t really care to know how the illusion is created, they just want to be excited by the trick!

“Fake it till you make it” – Or so the saying goes around these parts. I’ve already written about Confidence once, but i though i’d expand on it and how i believe women ‘experience‘ this thing men exude.

You see,

• Most people can’t step into the Octagon with a world champion MMA fighter and simply say “I’m confident i can take that motherfucker down!” – You’re face will end up looking like the bloody steak in the meat section of your local supermarket.
  
• Most people can’t  walk into a dōjō and simply say “Yo, you and you’re silly little black-belt are going down right here, right now bitch!” – Chances are, a doctor will be putting a cast on you somewhere.
  
  
• Most people can’t  walk onto an military firing range and dare the master marksman “I’ll bet you my house i can hit that target 1.5 kilometers away before you do!” – You’ll be crying while packing your bags and taping up the boxes for the movers.
  
  

You simply cannot be a novice and expect to beat masters with years of practice under their belt with simple platitudes of ‘just be more confident’. That’s kind of like throwing a never touched water neophyte into a raging torrent of fast moving water and saying stupid shit like “Just tread water!” or “Move your arms dammit!” or “Don’t breathe while under the water!!!”

Now, you can get lucky once in a while, so fake it till you make it has merit, but the true goal is to become proficient until you can replicate victory over and over successfully, by knowing you have the ability to cash the cheques your ego is writing!

That is where true confidence stems from. Natural confidence comes from external sources of validation and receptivity. It’s no secret that many good looking people exude natural confidence simply because people are more receptive and accepting of them (just ask Ted Bundy), more forgiving of faults or misdeeds by the beautiful people. It’s why we go “Awwwwww” when the cute little dog is taking a shit on the carpet and chewing on your shoes and biting your hand when you put it in the food bowl.. but you squish a creepy spider under your shoe without remorse, even tho it does the environment good by eating the pesky blood sucking mosquitoes! Spiders be creepy yo.

Once again, i’ve gone off track. Naturals are confident because they’re used to society being agreeable with them from the starting gate. Everyone else from average on down has to work for and succeed at things to build on confidence. We all know this is true.

Yet..

Thank You

(apologies in advance, a lot of rambling and repeating in this post. it’s a poor writing effort but i just wanted to put this out there anyways. i’m too tired to play copy editor tonight. cheers)

I hear it often now, or some variation of it.

I hear it now where i once did not.

I hear it coming from the mouths of women. All women.

It used to only come from Asian women (who seem to naturally retain their femininity and deference, at least towards white men), and the elderly (who grew up in a time of chivalry).. but now it comes from  all women.

Young, old, thin, thick, blonde, brunette, redhead, hot, fugly, liberal, conservative. Maybe even feminists?

Doesn’t matter. They’re all saying it to me when i hold it open.

The door.

Yes folks, i still end up holding doors for ladies. Always have, always will. Le sigh..

So i have to ask “What’s changed?”

Why am i now getting thank you’s left right and center for an action that hasn’t changed one iota. The action of holding a door open for a woman?

One of two things.

1. Either the women have changed in reflection to a society that seems to be further distancing itself from the pollution that is feminism and attempting to regain/retain chivalry because it is scared that feminism has driven men to the brink of abandoning all women
2. Or i have changed, and women are not reacting to the action itself, but in how the action is performed.. and by whom.

The first may be a plausible scenario, but would still not explain the 100% increase in pleasant responses i have received. Such a percentile change would mean that this sea change has already taken place. We all know that isn’t the case, and the statistical odds of me running into woman after woman like this would be astronomical.

So i must conclude that a majority of it is they are responding to ME as the variable that changed in the equation.

Now.. i’m not saying i’m James fucking Bond, i’m not. I would never classify myself as an ‘alpha’. More like a reformed beta, gone into greater Beta. But those moments when i nail confidence down and am truly feeling it.. you’d be hard pressed to distinguish.

And it kind of makes sense to me now, when i think of who i was back then.. and who i am now. My firm belief is women of all stripes, colors, creeds and ideologies will be receptive to ‘MEN’ who open doors for them if they are attracted enough to them ever so briefly to consider what a possible tryst might be like. Experience tells me that women certainly abhor the idea of being inseminated with unfit and unworthy semen, so they would hiss upon undesirable men who might seek to curry favor by being chivalrous in the hopes of romantic persuasion.

When i was undesirable.. most women would find ways to bend space and time in an effort to avoid acknowledging my gesture.

Today, especially when wearing my tank-tops during the summer, women couldn’t curtsy and say Thank You fast enough, their smiles betraying their thoughts. The second glance they’d shoot me farther away granted me the same feeling as a scientist when his theory pans out correctly.

Simply from the way and manner in which i confidently open a door.

And it is without reservation that all aspects of Game helped me get here. From my initial Dark Triad game which got me out of my nightmare, to learning about Game and attraction, along with Inner Game and fixing the core. Every facet of game helped.

I’ve tracked a lot of my incoming traffic, i like to see who’s talking about me and what i’m adding to the discussion. I have seen my name alot on a lot of forums and so forth. I do recall one person saying that they liked what i wrote but that i still used too much PUA crap in my writing. They don’t like the concept of ‘pretending to be someone you’re not‘ or ‘faking it till you make it‘. What they’re actually saying tho is that they are scared of working on changing themselves for the better and instead should simply be accepted as they are.

(Fat acceptance anyone?)

To each their own, i won’t dictate to any man how they wish to live. I only show my own example from where i started – to where i’ve ended up as an example for others to explore if they so choose. They think that people who peddle game are parasites taking advantage of the vulnerable.

Suffice it to say, you can see i offer no books, courses or any monetary sink holes for people to fall into. While i will agree that there is a group of people who sell the downtrodden unreasonable hopes of landing HB9’s with 3 simple questions that will make her want to fuck you, and the idea that you can turn a love shy, introverted, and socially awkward wallflower into a Mac Daddy over the course of a weekend seminar is selling snake oil at it’s finest.. it doesn’t invalidate the central tenets of Game philosophy, Evo Psych and attraction triggers evolved from our cavemen ancestors. Or as Private Man says – Biology Always Wins.

I think what rubs some of these guys the wrong way (and i will concur) is that alot of the salesmen are duplicitous charlatans who start off from a dubious premise. I’ll use Paul Janka as an example. This guy sells ‘The Attraction Formula’.. and for what it’s worth, i read it. I read it 3 weeks after breaking up with my exwife. I downloaded it from das Pirate Bay so i didn’t contribute to the pool of unfortunate men funding him. The book is almost a collection of core game rules that you could end up figuring out for yourself if you spent enough time bloghopping in the sphere. The reason i pick on Paul is because he starts his sales pitch with a doozy (and i’m paraphrasing because i can’t recall it) that sounds something like this:

Look at me, i’m not the most attractive, or good looking guy out there. I’m Joe Average. But with my system, you can get laid with many different women, one for every day of the week!

• Full head of hair – check
• 5 oclock shadow – check
• masculine jawline – check
• dark full eyebrows – check
• alpha features and facial tone – check
• perfect teeth – check
• looks great in a suit – check

Yes. Joe Average indeed.

 

I do not see him as having trouble with woman since he has his foot half way through the door and many women will be pleased to be approached by him. It’s his ball to fumble afterwords but he has ‘Game’ built into his face.

I’ll bet most of his students do not. There are some guys who will never be able to pull HB9’s no matter what. Like attracts like and +/- a point or two is the basic operating trend.

So yes, the detractors of game have a point i might concede in that some people who peddle game are really selling false hopes in order to monetize on the misfortunes of the beta to omega class. I’ll grant that.

I’m not one of them. I’m not peddling anything other than a collection of my stories and my transformation (and the odd rant or two about rape/sluts/frivorces/mens rights/mgtow advice/yadayada) nothing more.

So it hurts when people say that learning game is bogus, or it sucks that you have to act or pretend, and they feel like they’d be tired sooner or later having to keep up the facade.

When you fulfill your transformation, there is no facade.. there is only you.

It is not the spoon that bends, only your mind.

I can surely assure them and assuage their feelings that i am neither pretending to be someone else or faking anything. I am not ‘play acting’. I am the very same person who i was 20 years ago, in mind and spirit. The only thing that changed is how i present myself to the world.

Through my physical appearance, to the better fitting and fashionable clothes, to the grooming (and accepted loss of hair gone cue ball, embracing instead of ashamin’), to fixing my teeth, and learning both what women find attractive (and being able to fit in without much fuss), and knowing what they find unattractive (and knowing when and by how much to taper off the bad beta), and in knowing when not to partake in any drama or fuss (mgtow, knowing my objective real value, treating myself as the prize, no pussy pedestal, easy dismissal of entitled brats/whores).

Game isn’t all smoke and mirrors, fakery, pimp hats and feather boa’s. Those who are internally confident and sure of themselves can use game as a supplement and make it a  part of who they are, and it doesn’t come off as awkward, unnatural or pathetic. And you don’t get internally confident just by repeating pickup lines like a parrot. You can’t fake it for long, if at all. Once you fix the core, it’s not faking.

There’s no fakery when you can carry on a conversation with a women and lace it with sexual tension and innuendo, and hold eye contact throughout, whereas before you wouldn’t be able to say anything sexually charged without blushing and averting her eyes like a sheepish shy omega.

Those who dismiss game, are simply dismissing learning and mastering the ability to have control over ones actions. You can look at game as a means to learn shortcuts to attraction, but without the inner confidence of actually knowing it, you end up looking like a punk who writes cheques his body can’t cash. I look at game more as a means to help you prevent your beta/gamma unattractive traits from coming to the surface and letting ‘the real you’ shine through.

As i go through life now, i don’t think.. i just do. I’m not acting, I am ME. Inner game allowed me to become the best me possible. Game itself taught me how to curb my unattractive traits so that i only present the very best me possible at all times.

When i’m walking down the street with my head held high, walking tall, cock leading me.. i’m not acting. It is what i have become. 5 years ago i was a slouching, foot dragging, shoulders/head in front of cock beta.

When i’m telling a joke, i smile, hold the gaze, laugh and keep my head face to face with my recipient. I do not stutter over my words, mess up punch lines, giggle throughout the joke, snort, or sheepishly look at the floor while in the company of others.

When i’m speaking with people, i’m cognoscente of how i speak, modulating the inflections of my voice, maintaining control, holding my frame and using gestures only when required. I speak like i walk, poised and with purpose. I am thinking about what i am going to say before i say it. What i don’t do is ramble, get stuck on ‘uhhh’s, let my voice enter tonal ranges of a prepubescent teenager, or flail my arms around like an airline ground traffic controller hopped up on speed and coke.

And yes, even something as simple as opening a door. I calculate in advance whether to pick up my pace to make it to the door in time, smoothly and effortlessly, or slow down if i feel i’m too far away. I open the door in one fluid motion and position myself in front of the door with ease, and attain eye contact, and smile. I do not run at a sprint towards the door, i do not make it obvious it was planned, i do not struggle with the door or flail like a flag in the wind. I don’t behave submissively at the door or look at the floor. I don’t park my ass behind the door.

And all this happens now without me consciously even thinking about it. There are moments where i falter or trip, but i recover so much quicker and easier as well.

These changes didn’t happen overnight, and it wasn’t parlor tricks or a wearing eye makeup and pretending to be a pirate.

These were life changes to make me better, while retaining the essence of who i was. I didn’t change, but what i presented to the world did!

Anyone who says that learning Game is basically acting or pretending to be someone you’re not simply hasn’t grasped how to effectively use it, and how to actualize their full potential.

I am still the exact same person i was 20 years ago. I am a geek. I love Transformers. I would play Dungeons and Dragons if i had the time and friends. I love technology. None of that has changed. But you would never imagine the night and day difference between me then and me now if you saw me next to my 20 year old beta shmuck self. And now that it has become a part of me and who i am, (and because i chose well in terms of who i partnered up with) it is not a chore, not a burden, not some terrible fate that i must continue to ‘pretend’ or ‘act’ or ‘behave’ in some manner that i will eventually get tired of or slip up and revert to beta. Having fully embraced being masculine.. it is not a chore, rather it is something i welcome and enjoy being. I stood in the frame and by golly… i kinda fucking like it here!

What has changed is how i present myself. I don’t make Transformers or video games the epicenter of my life like 20 years ago I’m not the bashful non-confident nerd of 15 years ago. I’m not the quiet meek voice of 10 years ago. I’m not the posture of a doormat i was 5 years ago. . everything about who i am now is having put into practice reclaiming my masculinity, and working hard to create real value in myself so my confidence in myself is also real and not just ‘acting’ or a parlor trick.

I simply upped my Game.

 

Confidence

This post is coming out of drafts, i started writing this just before Christmas holidays last year, and Rollo’s post here about having a Plan for what to do AFTER having secured initial interest reminded me about it so it’s a good starting point. Without further adoo.

++

Many years ago I had a conversation with the woman who had me in the friendzone.

The conversation led to what women really wanted because obviously what i had offered up until then was not enough. I had heard ‘you’re such great guy‘ too often without any results. Being friendzoned by her was proof positive.

You see feminism taught me how to be tolerant and respectful towards women but it did not teach me that these traits were devoid of attraction. Being nice and showing all your positive traits in the hopes it will be recognized by the very women claiming to be looking for those traits, which is now vilified by femcunts like Marcotte was how I (we) was(were) brought up assuming we would get women to want to have relationships with us. We were told women WANTED to be with men who don’t disrespect them, make them feel like crap, treat them like assholes. We are still told this to this very day. Guess who loses in the short term mating market?

It taught us that treating women as equals and human being was enough.

Now don’t get me wrong.. i get that there is a huge divide between being an asshole and simply being sure of yourself and confident. One takes a little time to become, through experience, patience and time. One is the shortcut way of attracting the emotionally broken and self esteem cripples of the world, women who can only be validated by thugs or have a rescue complex the size of NML Cygni. Problem is, many women don’t give guys a chance to develop the former, so they choose the path of least resistance and join the latter, mainly out of spite or sheer frustration.

If there’s anyone out there who knows exactly what i’m speaking about, it’s Deti and i invite him to repost most of his remarks below. He makes a shit ton of very good comments over at HUS on thread discussing hypergamy. Deti *groks* what most people don’t seem to understand.

You’re just not grokking what men of our generation were taught. Our own mothers either didn’t get it or, more likely, simply lied to us. Frankly I think it was that our own mothers didn’t want to admit the truth to themselves that they did the exact same things they saw the girls doing and that they themselves made some mistakes they regretted.

My mother didn’t lie to me, she just didn’t know any better. Or maybe she wanted me to avoid making the same mistake. After all, my dad was a boxer.. and looking at old pics of my mom, she was a looker in her day so she had SMV to spare. Who knows.. maybe she did lie. I just think becoming a mom destroys any sense of rationality women have and they need to justify to themselves that whatever naughty bad behaviors they did aren’t worth detailing because they want their kids to act, behave and be better than them and live in their ‘idealized’ world. It’s a theory. A shitty one but well, there it is.

So now you have this kid who’s grown up believing in irrational fairy tales of what girls who are made of sugar and spice want and should be like and what they should actually like.. and now dump a whole shit ton of feminist slut hookup culture into the mix. It’s like baking a cake. A diarrhea cake.

That’s one sinfully sick cake you don’t want to touch..

If you want to see just how far feminism fucked me over, go reread this post here. It so drilled into my head on how to be so respectful and subservient towards women, to always tiptoe around them and to NEVER be aggressive or sexually honest around them (Game allowed me to break this self perpetuating cycle of catastrophe ). So much so that i am pretty much now incapable of maintaining sexual arousal when a woman asks me to get ‘rough’ with her. It turns me off and makes me go limp. (Thankfully not an issue as my current paramour loves steamy, sensual and enthusiastically passionate sex, not Gorillas in the Mist sex any caveman can do. Monkey sex is not my forte, and i’m fucking proud of that fact)

Now, me and Deti may very well be a generation removed from what’s going on today, but my guess is that with an SMP that appears to be even more fucked up than ever before, the lessons of the past repeat themselves. But now I’m off track.. so back to the convo with my friend.

I asked her what with all my ‘great’ qualities why I was striking out? She said that I just needed to be more confident. I asked her how? She said ‘You just do. Confidence comes from within.’ I immediately balked an told her that wasn’t true. Confidence is not innate, its earned.

Adaption

Quick post and a test of creating a post from my Google Nexus 7 WordPress app.

Was working the bench press last night with my friend and probably tried to push out one too many reps. Form went south and was arching my back a little too much, cheating to get the last ones up. I knew I was going to pay for it.

This morning I was sore but didn’t think anything of it. I’ve been sore before. So i went of to play some hardcore Olympic level table tennis with the Zen master.. A man twice my age and impossibly full of energy reserves mere mortals don’t have. He’s a terminator.. I’m positive of this.

He’s mentoring a young kid into ping pong, and today he and his father were there to watch the two of us have an epic battle.

2nd game in, my back had other ideas. I felt it, that split second where you know if you finished the motion, you’d be on the ground and need to be carried home. I stopped just short. I wasn’t down for the count but I knew I was fucked. I couldn’t stand tall, I couldn’t run from left to right, I couldn’t put any pressure on my back.

2 games in. Fuck. This would be a huge letdown for the father and son. I looked at Zen master and meekly grimaced, stood up slowly and said I had pulled something, but wasn’t going to use it as an excuse, to hit me with all he had. The kid came to see a war, wasn’t about to give him less.

The first few matches were a joke as I tried to figure a way to counter his shots and go for kill shots of my own. Without my prior range or mobility he was tearing me apart. But with each game I was forced to examine patterns, rely more on spin and accuracy, and most importantly, just get the ball to his side of the table and force him to make an error.

While he kept beating me, they weren’t resounding victories. I kept pace. I stated returning shots to the corners forcing him to bounce from end to end, thus keeping me in the center. I stopped using crazy spins on the serve and lobed them to just barely clear the net, forcing him to lob the returns high into the air giving me the advantage to make him start running left to right or just to smash it back down with a killer backhand which does not require back strength.

By the end I still only ended up winning about 4 games of 20… And lost our best of nine series ender 5 to 3. But they were all close games, half going into overtime where you need to win by 2 points.

Adapt. It’s what we do when we encounter change. The world is always changing, always evolving, sometimes for good, sometimes for ill. It helps us overcome obstacles and be resilient. Ask a paraplegic or someone wearing a prosthetic limb. It’s what you do when faced with a choice of doing something you don’t want to do to proceed forward or do nothing and be left behind.

The kid wanted an Olympic war, and I couldn’t give it to him by doing what worked in the past, so I had to adapt quickly, learn, experiment, grow. And for it we gave him a great show that will encourage him to continue learning the game under Zen master and put a smile on both dad and sons face.

The alternative was doing nothing and driving home.

To anyone who tells you game is smoke and mirrors, what they’re telling you is to go home. Learn game. Adapt. The goalposts have moved and there’s nothing you can do to change that. Learn how to rid yourself of traits that get you disqualified from playing.

You have a choice. Adapt or quit.

Now if you excuse me.. I need to go hobble off to my bed like the hunchback of Notre Dame now and wait for the Advil 500’s to kick in. Nobody said adapting was painless. Nothing worthwhile ever is.

..
Sent from my tablet. You see a spelling mistake, its the tablets fault.

Do Women Have Any Game?

No.. not Al Bundy.

NightSkyRadio asked me this question in my Critics of Game part 1 post:

So, wouldn’t it have been better for the episode hadn’t wasted all that effort trying to shame and discredit guys trying to be more attractive to women, and maybe trying to teach, oh I don’t know, how to notice signs that someone is a serial killer or something?

Interesting question. We know that everyone has ‘instincts’ but most of the time we don’t follow through or we allow ourselves to be deceived openly because we want to be led astray and believe in something else, like that hot guy REALLY is interested in me as a person, in my ideas, my passions and goals and isn’t talking to me just because he wants to fuck me. Guys get that too thinking that smokin’ babe really LIKES me for me and not for my Ferrari Enzo. Strippers and cruel bitches call these guys marks. I guess guys should start calling women ‘prey’ to even it out.

…

Game teaches men how to be attractive and how to screen against red flags for poor behavior for commitment. Game is a tool and can also be used to chase and take advantage of sluts, but by and large, it’s real purpose is to teach men how to raise their value and to screen out poor women by getting them to qualify to you, to make them WANT to be with you. This facilitates a mans ability to make good choices for long term commitment partners. The ladder theory complements Game.

“Game” is reviled by women. Why? It does what it’s supposed to do and prevents naive beta’s from making the same mistakes over and over again.. allowing very attractive women from abusing them, taking advantage of them, letsjustbefriending them, gold digging them and cash&prizes divorcing them. This is a good thing no? Women are always saying ‘men fall for bitches’. Now we won’t! We’ll just fuck’em when we need to and trade’m up for the better cheaper property once the maintenance fees go up. One will only dare commit to a woman now who proves she isn’t some domineering, empowered, independent “I don’t need no man” bitch and actually adds VALUE to a mans life.

Bitches get used, qualified ladies will be treated accordingly. And beta’s cease being the reviled males you loathe. Win / Win right?

After all, we only hear over and over again how NiceGuys are just evil poor losers who can’t get laid (and deserve to stay celibate) because they’re playing nice. Game keeps them from playing nice.

So why would women be against it?

Further more, what is games equivalent for women? Were not talking about ‘girl game’ in how to pick up men. A pussy, pulse and pleasant demeanor is really all that’s required. [Are you listening you 4chan femcunts?] Girl game is simply being more feminine. The more feminine, the more attention, the more options. Girl game is all about making yourself more attractive (just like men’s game), but it carries none of the ability to screen for red flags.

So what is the female equivalent to GAME?

Critics of Game part 1

First off, big high five and thanks to Danny, resident of the 504 for giving me a surprise call on the weekend and chatting it up with me spur of the moment. It helped get me motivated to get out of my funk. On top of already having started to watch MindOS (again), he also gave me a homework assignment. A slight modification of what Private Man tells his audience to do.

Also i want people to understand the bipolar nature of my writing. There is one aspect of me that writes for myself, far removed from caring for this society or helping it’s continuance, and another that writes nostalgically about what i feel could have saved this society and what the newest generation (not my generation) are required to grok in order to keep it from death spiraling towards a point where you don’t take turning on the lights for granted. While i’d like to see the world get better, it won’t be me doing the heavy lifting cupcake. I’m out!

Now..

Shortly after my incel post, i was tracking stats of where page hits were coming from and i found some ‘opponents’ to which i started writing out a huge response that, par for the course, ballooned into War & Peace. I decided to make this seperate from that because i don’t want you guys taking a bathroom break during reading, since there’s a lot of links and stuff between the two. So i start with the smaller post using more recent (and better written stuff by other folks first) 🙂

Last night i was going to do a random post based on an episode of Criminal Minds i caught yesterday, but it dovetailed perfectly with stuff Vox and Badger have written so i’ll just create one big delicious layer cake here.

First read this funny little bit of real life.

This was what reminded me of the episode of Criminal Minds. Season 4 episode 9. The title of the episode was called “PickUp”

It would be best if you watched the whole episode for yourself but i can’t find any links to it on YouTube or any other media sites so you’ll have to use ‘other’ means for yourself. Arrrr be careful when sailin’ the digital seas matey.

Anyways. Here’s a dirty summation.

Confessions of a Reformed InCel

[UPDATE 4-26-2018]

It’s been almost 4 years since i left this space of the internet. It’s been almost 6 years since i wrote the below post.

A lot changes with time away from the sphere. I’ve lived a normal life, with a great gal in a ‘normal’ family setting, engaging with society, a totally different man that the one 4, 6, 10+ years ago. Had i not taken that journey, a cathartic one no doubt, who knows where i could have ended up. You couldn’t really write a better ending for the journey i took from the mouth of Hell back to normality.

And then Monday happens. April 23, 2018 at 1:24pm. A beautiful, warm sunny day not unlike the kind 9/11 is remembered for.

I want to state this right off the bat for the record. My heart and my sympathies go out to every individual affected by the Van assault mass murder by the person who i will not name. I won’t acknowledge the killer or immortalize him. Not only do i not condone his actions, i condemn them as strongly as i can condemn anything. He is a coward.

At the height of my depression, at the lowest point in my life being incel, i never considered violence against anyone but myself. Even then i realized that ones actions don’t exist in a bubble, and that every action you apply resonates beyond whatever you’re looking at. But for this individual, he crossed into the dangerous territory where his focus was not to look at others as people who have family and friends and coworkers who will be impacted and grieve. All he saw was a society that isolated him, did not care to help him but instead ridiculed him, and decided that since he lost in the game of life.. he was going to drag as many to the bottom with him before he died. Ultimately he even failed at suicide, which is somewhat ironic.. confirming his failure at everything.

I know somewhere on my blog, there are comments by me, denouncing Elliot Rogers. (I should have made a post, and if i didn’t that would be a glaring oversight on my part). While i have the ultimate empathy for true suffering incels, who have gone without the basic and primal human connection one can have with the opposite sex.. i have NO SYMPATHY whatsoever for those who take that pain and decide to unleash it on others. Those innocent people Elliot shot were not the cause of Elliots incelness. Elliots unwillingness to embrace TRP hard truths were the source of his pain. The people that were run down on Monday in Toronto, so very close to home to me and the ones i love, who could easily have been in his bombsights on any given day, were not the cause of this individuals alleged incelness. An unwillingness to try to become better than he was, was the cause of it.

It was their absolute lack of trying to change to be something better. Or maybe worse, they were just broken and irreparable from the start. I try to believe everyone can be saved.. but who knows anymore. When i watched the video’s of Elliot Roger come out, i sat there horrified. In another life, that *might* have ended up being me had i not course corrected. I wondered if the chance could ever occur, was there something myself.. or anyone much more suited like Rollo, could ever have said to snap him out of his delusional angst? You could see it in his eyes on the videos.. this one is too far gone to help. If you ever wanted to see what ‘entitled to womens bodies’ actually looks like, stare at Elliots face. Most incels don’t feel entitled.. they feel like they’ve been left out of the party everyone else is having. Entitled is crashing the party and ruining it for everyone else.

TRP takes many forms. Early on i decided i wanted to take the ‘become the best you that you can be’ mantra version. I didn’t want to ‘game’ for hookups, i wanted to invest in myself, to truly change who i was so i could confidently command the asking price rather than beg for crumbs. Rollo very recently discussed how many come to TRP and complain they wont be able to carry on ‘the act’. He explained how when he applied it and internalized it, it became part of who he was and second nature, and it was no longer an act, it was just him. That’s the part i tried to emulate.. to take the lessons, and apply them and use them until it no longer felt like i’m pretending to be someone i’m not. But you have to try, and make the time and put in the effort. And you have to have realistic expectations to boot. I will never be Ryan Reynolds or Channing Tatum in looks.. but on the range of unattainable beauty standards, and where i started, i hit a happy medium i was proud of. Can i go further? Sure, but thats my call, not societies.

But you still need to put in the work. Even if you can’t reach the ideal, strive for it. The whole concept of ‘you’re perfect just the way you are’ needs to die. Can you imagine how much Elliot might have thought that about himself? Or the van murderer? If you are unhappy, the only person who can do something about that is YOU. No one else. And telling unhappy people that they’re ok as they are is a recipe for disaster.

I still have complete empathy for the incel community, but i want to hope that the ones who reach the TRP message take the right, and not the wrong lessons from this. Become better, knowledge is power, but apply it properly and dont expect a quick fix! Looking at my ancient story below, you will notice that the happy ending does not occur right away, but years later once the core tenets of TRP are internalized and applied. Shorcuts often lead to more anguish in this regard.

As much as this tragedy has personally disturbed me to the core, i am equally troubled by the way some of the media outlets are handling this. While undoubtedly there are many misogynistic incels (whom you still need to reach out to in order to quell the rage), there are equally harmless ones, confused ones, and angry ones who simply learn for the first time they’ve been playing by the wrong set of books. Were we to actually engage with incels in a real fashion, and first acknowledge that YES, it is debilitating, humiliating and emotionally devastating to the individuals who suffer through it.. we need to actually engage with them without judgement of how and why they got there, and realistically work with them in an honest fashion to help them overcome their problems. Chastising them, yelling at them, mischaracterizing them or applying blanket misogyny labels upon them – WILL NOT – i repeat, will not bring them into the open to educate, treat, rehab or reform them. It will drive them further into darkness where you just might start producing more of these emotionally spent, dead eyed, uncaring, lay waste to the world, reproductive losers in the game of life.. dehumanize everyone surrounding them. They go on to become the next one. Their rationalization is so apparent, i don’t understand why no one can see it.

They spend their entire lives isolated, in pain, wondering what about them is so wrong as to never be desired. It’s not obvious to them, otherwise they’d have done something. Or they’ve been enabled by liars who tell them they’re perfect as they are, to just be themselves. And yet, being themselves only incites ridicule from others, taunting, jeers and derision. Once this isolation hits a peak, they no longer see people around them as people, they see them as abusers. Everyone who is having a good time, smiling, laughing, enjoying life, having lives, having sexual relationships, having romance, sharing emotions.. all in front of the face of the one who is told ‘no, not for you, you can’t play with us’. There are some who are ok with this, accept their lot in life, and stay there. There are other who decide to change themselves so they too can join the game. And finally, there are the Elliots and Toronto van murderer who decide that if they can’t enjoy this life like others can, they’re gonna ruin it for the rest of us. That’s it in a nutshell.

My one wish is that this issue is examined without the polarization we see in todays politics of left and right, where each side screams at the other saying ‘you’re wrong’ and nothing happens except a race to the bottom. You can’t expect people to come to you for help when you’re going to demonize them from the outset. That needs to stop. Incels need help. What that help is and how it reaches them is another discussion altogether. But it’s one that needs to happen to keep shit like this from repeating.

I have not enough words of condolence i can give to the innocents who were taken, and the lives of everyone else who will be affected by their loss. This tragedy hit too close to home.

It could have been me. It could have been me in front of that van on any other routine day. It could have been my family, my friends, my coworkers, anyone i love and care about. It is still surreal that this happened at all.

I also shudder to think ‘could it have been me’ inside the van behind the wheel,.. had i not found TRP and changed my life instead of believing the pretty lies of others. Was i ever capable, would enough time in hell for me produce a similar fate? I don’t ever want to know.

I grieve with Toronto for those who were lost, i have to hope it never happens again. Most of all, that will require changing the way we talk about this issue.

…

[EDIT – Days after Elliot Roger murders: For anyone new coming here from The Daily Dot, Reddit, Ask Men or anywhere else. Once you are finished reading this piece (due to the interest since the Elliot Rogers murders) and you get all your feathers ruffled about the ‘feelings’ section, please head over HERE for understanding the proper context lest you get your panties in a bunch. If you assume the language was written as intent rather than contextualizing what would be required to have women stripped of their natural biological advantage of being noticed solely for the fact they are female – then i can’t help you or you comprehension skills. peace the fuck out]

…

[ORIGINAL POST BEGINS]

November 17, 2012. enough is enough. i warned y’all it might get depressing. here goes. don’t worry, it ends well. i think.

+++

In honor of my 10,000th view.. i’m going to publish what i consider the hardest post i’ve ever written. But it needs to be written, for i may be an extreme, i know i’m not alone. This isn’t written for the PUA or the Alpha or the Pussy Slayer™. This is written for you, the one without hope..  to know there is hope and you can get better.

Thanks for the hits guys! Snapshot taken 07/09/12 at 2:33 pm after 3 weeks on the interwebz.

[actually no.. i’ve crossed 50k. that’s how long i’ve been holding onto this draft, terrified of letting it go. but i saw a comment today that finally let me pull the trigger.]

It is so Very hard to hit that PUBLISH button.

Writing this post is a source of *shame* for me. It’s been sitting in my drafts for about 2 weeks [edit: 5+ months actually]…

But at this point in my life having endured what i have, it does not trouble me putting it out in the sphere. I am sure i am not alone in this and that this post will actually help someone out there. Some of you may relate. Women hopefully may finally understand where my anger and cynicism stems from.

So i’ve decided to unleash it. [about time?]

Firstly, before you continue, please go read THIS POST. [Edit Apr.30,2014: Due to the explosion of traffic from AskMen, I have noticed this post is no longer available, so i will instead invite you to go read THIS POST instead ] No offense to the author, my past wasn’t her fault.. but it struck the usual nerve with me. You need to read posts like this to let the feeling of inequality fill you up.

Welcome back..

When i read it or stories like it, these are the THINGS I FEEL (and yes, i know ‘feelings’ are the domain of a woman)

• When i hear a woman tell me that she’s gone through a dry spell and not had sex in over X weeks/ months.. i feel like putting my fist through her face.
• When i hear a woman tell me that she feels ugly or unloved or unwanted because her partner hasn’t touched her in over 6 months, i feel like laughing loudly 3 inches from her face.
• When i hear a woman tell me that she just picked up a random guy for a night of fun because she was lonely, i feel like i’m glad i don’t own a gun.
• When i hear a woman tell me that i shouldn’t feel bad about having gone without for so long, after all it’s only just sex, i feel like disfiguring her face with a scalpel.

Nature’s cruel joke and cosmic irony in one. I as a man, biologically driven365 days a year to ejaculate and produce sperm as often as possible, and having the drive and desire to want it every waning moment, who is villified for this natural urge and made to feel ashamed of my sexuality, control it and subdue it to conform to the feminine imperative… have to listen to women, who in their solipsism cannot fathom the ordeal of what i’m about to write about, women who biologically ovulate and desire sex rather infrequently compared to men, talk about, no celebrate their sexuality, their urges and desires.. and lament their short dry spells as if the world were coming to an end. They can never understand what a power differential there is in these urges.

Women can say they love sex just as much as men. I would call BS. Until there is a glut of male prostitutes, male escorts, male rub n tugs for female patrons, a demand for male sex workers and strippers i’ll say nay. Unless they’re all having alpha sex on the side perhaps? Or will touching themselves to 50 shades suffice? At least mommy porn is culturally acceptable. Women DO NOT need sex like men do.. otherwise the sphere would not exist.

Anyways.. back to my pitiful former life.

I have no pictures of myself from a time period stretching from high school to my late 20’s, save for some randoms others might have taken of me. I have no memories or recollections of my time in high school. I have no stories of parties, girlfriends or wild flings. It’s a time period i wiped from my mind, much like PTSD. The only way i can recall it is if i sit down and think really hard about it. I rarely do because i don’t like feeling like shit for the hell of it.

I was that beta/omega/zeta. I let myself get LJBF‘ed on multiple occasions being that ‘nice guy’ that male hating cunt Amanda Marcotte despises. I  played by the rules as handed down to me by the feminine authorities on what women would look for and appreciate in a man. I was asked to believe what they said, not what they did. ‘Just be yourself‘ (your nice beta supplicating self) was the golden code.

So here it is… my Incel Hell.

This is where you will stay for the next 12 years. Enjoy your stay.

<deep breath>

Ladies – It’s what you do, not what you say.

Coworker sent this to me in an instant message. I LOL’d.

There’s a reason meme’s like this thrive.

George Lucas understands women

(h/t Mr. Plinkett)

Check this out..

I was just over at beautiful Carolina’s most awesome blog Stakedintheheart.com catching up on a couple days worth of blog reading when i came across her crazy cat lady post here.

Go over there to get a whole lot more insight than you’ll get here. I only provide entertainment  🙂

In it she marvels at the lists women use as criteria to cull the male herd of prospective suitors.. without giving thought to what said women would have to bring to the table in return for nailing every enumerated item. Admittedly the list for men is not so high (as revealed in the video below) but aside from being attractive, we only ask for women to be pleasant, complementary and to add value to our life, not to be a drain on it.

After reading her post, i recalled a pair of moments in RedLetterMedia’s reviews of Attack of the Clones and thought it would be fun to share and compare for yourselves.

You can watch the whole clip, but starting at 7:20 –  9:22 is Mr. Plinkett describing the Man’s list vs. Woman’s list in today’s dating world using Star Wars of course LOL.

But sooooo true.

And here he points out many facets of game.. what actions are alpha and what makes you a creepy pathetic beta. From start to 8:24.

Yes sir.. George Lucas wins the award for understanding women!

Was USENET the birthplace of the manosphere?

Whoot! I’m closing in on 10,000 views. Not my greatest accomplishment ever, but in 3 weeks o’bloggin i think it’s decent. Much thanks to shared link love and Delusion Damage. Without him the reach would not be there. Course Delusion Damage is where i start my morning and find all the other wonderful blogs as well. So thank you all, especially my US readers. You make up 2/3rds of all the hits. I welcome all my lurkers to take a bow. To my regular commenters.. i value your input dearly, please keep the wisdom flowing!

But now to the banner headline…

I received this lengthy write up from a commenter who pointed out that this thing we call the manosphere has it’s roots in the early  era of the internet. (h/t Gnosis) Men were already starting to sound the alarms to anyone who would listen through whatever venues they could find back in the day.

I really do recall seeing this post (or a similar post) once posted on Craigslist if im not mistaken. I didn’t pay it much heed.. i was still beta and believed the vast majority of women were sweet and demur and wanted love and relationships Disney style and only ended up with cads out of confusion waiting for someone like me to come around and show my quality.

Yes… i was a fucking idiot. Only took better part of 2 decades, years of beta-orbiting hell and a marriage torpedoed by hypergamous unhaaaaapyness. I didn’t swallow the red pill. It was rammed up my ass with the exit velocity of a .50 caliber round leaving a Desert Eagle. Quite a shock to the system, i still have a hard time sitting down.

Anyways.. without further adoo, i present the wisdom of 2003 and what i might consider the birth of the manosphere and redpill wisdom in the new digital frontier. A full 2 years ahead of the publication of ‘The Game‘.. one might wonder if Mystery himself penned this?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE TRUTH ABOUT WOMEN
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A straight-talking post that was controversially posted across half of Usenet in 2003.

I wasn’t a sexist before I understood women. There was a time when I was blissfully ignorant. I grew up watching Disney cartoons, I believed in romance and “true love conquers all” etc. I wanted to find a woman who could be my equal, my partner. I believed in finding that one true love and being committed to each other forever. You know, like in the marriage vows, “for better or for worse, through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer” etc. And I believed that women basically wanted the same thing. Now I understand that this was only possible when society was structured to enforce it. Now that women are “liberated” (and thus at the mercy of their own emotions and baser instincts) this is mostly no longer possible in today’s society. Victorian society, or many Arab societies, are examples of how society used to be structured to keep women as faithful as possible.

I’d like to point out that I am not a misogynist…I love women. But I AM a sexist, in the sense that I believe women are vastly different than men and, according to the standards that men hold for other men, women are inferior as well.

I must be a bitter loser, right? In fact, I enjoy more success with women than most of the men in this city. I have slept with over 200 women in my life. I am sleeping with 5 different women right now. They are all normal, healthy, well-adjusted, good-looking (8+ on the looks scale) professional women. (At least as normal and healthy and well-adjusted as women can be – most women have issues.) But that’s not all. I can go out any night of the week and pick up a woman. I can pick her up in front of all her friends (with 80% efficiency for each approach.) Women will slip me their phone number when their boyfriend is in the bathroom. I can talk to women on the street or in the grocery store and within 30 minutes, I can usually have sex with them right there in my car or get them back to my place. If I have to settle for a phone number, and I meet her on another day, assuming she doesn’t flake, I WILL f*ck her that next day.