Posts Tagged ‘emotionless’


Confessions of a Reformed InCel

November 17, 2012

[EDIT: with so much new traffic, i thought i’d give the Sphere some advertising. ]


[EDIT 2: For anyone new coming here from The Daily Dot, Reddit, Ask Men or anywhere else. Once you are finished reading this piece (due to the interest since the Elliot Rogers murders) and you get all your feathers ruffled about the ‘feelings’ section, please head over HERE for understanding the proper context lest you get your panties in a bunch. If you assume the language was written as intent rather than contextualizing what would be required to have women stripped of their natural biological advantage of being noticed solely for the fact they are female – then i can’t help you or you comprehension skills. peace the fuck out]


November 17, 2012. enough is enough. i warned y’all it might get depressing. here goes. don’t worry, it ends well. i think.


In honor of my 10,000th view.. i’m going to publish what i consider the hardest post i’ve ever written. But it needs to be written, for i may be an extreme, i know i’m not alone. This isn’t written for the PUA or the Alpha or the Pussy Slayer™. This is written for you, the one without hope..  to know there is hope and you can get better.

Thanks for the hits guys! Snapshot taken 07/09/12 at 2:33 pm after 3 weeks on the interwebz.

[actually no.. i’ve crossed 50k. that’s how long i’ve been holding onto this draft, terrified of letting it go. but i saw a comment today that finally let me pull the trigger.]

It is so Very hard to hit that PUBLISH button.

Writing this post is a source of *shame* for me. It’s been sitting in my drafts for about 2 weeks [edit: 5+ months actually]

But at this point in my life having endured what i have, it does not trouble me putting it out in the sphere. I am sure i am not alone in this and that this post will actually help someone out there. Some of you may relate. Women hopefully may finally understand where my anger and cynicism stems from.

So i’ve decided to unleash it. [about time?]

Firstly, before you continue, please go read THIS POST. [Edit Apr.30,2014: Due to the explosion of traffic from AskMen, I have noticed this post is no longer available, so i will instead invite you to go read THIS POST instead ] No offense to the author, my past wasn’t her fault.. but it struck the usual nerve with me. You need to read posts like this to let the feeling of inequality fill you up.

Welcome back..

When i read it or stories like it, these are the THINGS I FEEL (and yes, i know ‘feelings’ are the domain of a woman)

  • When i hear a woman tell me that she’s gone through a dry spell and not had sex in over X weeks/ months.. i feel like putting my fist through her face.
  • When i hear a woman tell me that she feels ugly or unloved or unwanted because her partner hasn’t touched her in over 6 months, i feel like laughing loudly 3 inches from her face.
  • When i hear a woman tell me that she just picked up a random guy for a night of fun because she was lonely, i feel like i’m glad i don’t own a gun.
  • When i hear a woman tell me that i shouldn’t feel bad about having gone without for so long, after all it’s only just sex, i feel like disfiguring her face with a scalpel.

Nature’s cruel joke and cosmic irony in one. I as a man, biologically driven365 days a year to ejaculate and produce sperm as often as possible, and having the drive and desire to want it every waning moment, who is villified for this natural urge and made to feel ashamed of my sexuality, control it and subdue it to conform to the feminine imperative… have to listen to women, who in their solipsism cannot fathom the ordeal of what i’m about to write about, women who biologically ovulate and desire sex rather infrequently compared to men, talk about, no celebrate their sexuality, their urges and desires.. and lament their short dry spells as if the world were coming to an end. They can never understand what a power differential there is in these urges.

Women can say they love sex just as much as men. I would call BS. Until there is a glut of male prostitutes, male escorts, male rub n tugs for female patrons, a demand for male sex workers and strippers i’ll say nay. Unless they’re all having alpha sex on the side perhaps? Or will touching themselves to 50 shades suffice? At least mommy porn is culturally acceptable. Women DO NOT need sex like men do.. otherwise the sphere would not exist.

Anyways.. back to my pitiful former life.

I have no pictures of myself from a time period stretching from high school to my late 20’s, save for some randoms others might have taken of me. I have no memories or recollections of my time in high school. I have no stories of parties, girlfriends or wild flings. It’s a time period i wiped from my mind, much like PTSD. The only way i can recall it is if i sit down and think really hard about it. I rarely do because i don’t like feeling like shit for the hell of it.

I was that beta/omega/zeta. I let myself get LJBF‘ed on multiple occasions being that ‘nice guy’ that male hating cunt Amanda Marcotte despises. I  played by the rules as handed down to me by the feminine authorities on what women would look for and appreciate in a man. I was asked to believe what they said, not what they did. ‘Just be yourself‘ (your nice beta supplicating self) was the golden code.

So here it is… my Incel Hell.

This is where you will stay for the next 12 years. Enjoy your stay.

<deep breath>

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Looks like Eminem ran Athols MAP on Hip Hop

October 16, 2012

Was quickly inspired to write this one day when i read Stingray’s post on Hypergamy here.

As we all know and how Rollo has detailed on numerous occasions, hypergamy doesn’t care.

There is one thing that doesn’t care about hypergamy tho. And that’s Game.

Whether you’re already in a marriage or relationship, Game allows you to take control when it spiraling out. It gives you the power to take control of a relationship, become the Captain, and gives you the tools and the strength to walk away with you head held high and options open if your partner is unwilling to change or follows her hypergamy off a cliff.

Or whether you’re single and on the prowl, Game gives you the ability to avoid the beta traps of one-itus, to focus on improving your attraction triggers, to spin plates, avoid outcome dependence and give the middle finger to any hypergamous bitch you desire because you have another 10 in the black book waiting on you. 9 times out of 10, that finger will result in her wanting you more.

Or you’re a dude going your own way, Game gives you the drive to become the best man you can possibly be for yourself, to spend your life on your own terms and not be beholden to any one need or desire. You transcend the need to measure you’re life or masculinity based on the female imperative (or male peer pressure trap) of being a loser if you’re not slaying pussy. You chase after exploits that truly make you happy instead of drain away your life in a life you don’t really care for, and you become a more wise, educated and fulfilled individual with a whole lot more disposable income in your hand instead of wasting it away on some misguided ‘man up’ adventure just to have the system take everything away from you later.

No.. Game is the ultimate reset switch and we’re seeing this all over.

Whether it’s about hip hop music, relationships or women in general.. heed Eminem’s (and Athol’s) advice. Use Game, take control. Hypergamy doesn’t care. Game allows you to not care back twice as hard and knock hypergamy on it’s fucking ass and send it back into the kitchen.

Too late for the other side
Caught in a chase, 25 to life
Too late for the other side
Caught in a chase, 25 to life Read the rest of this entry ?


Another one for the IDWTLOTPA files

July 3, 2012

For anyone asking IDWTLOTPA stands for

I don’t want to live on this planet anymore. It gets it’s own category.

Just scoped this story over at Heartiste from one of the anonymous commenters. Had to take a break from my workout to put this up. It just makes me seethe.

‘I’ve fallen in love with man who beat my boyfriend to death’: Victim’s girlfriend admits she’s been writing to killer in jail

[edit: link fixed]

Seriously.. is there any way to get the killer of her boyfriend and this girl in a secluded area for a couple of days…

..perhaps her body will turn up in a river somewhere?


Power means walking away, not crawling

June 26, 2012

Quick post here, just ran my last encounter with the failed FWB through my head and realized what i did and why i’m proud of myself.


I did what her previous guy did not.

I walked away on my terms, for my interests and made no compromise.


When she first showed signs that she was calling it quits and that their relationship was toast, he ramped up his neediness, he put the texting into overdrive, he would call or drop by often to ‘talk’, to try and convince her they should still be together.

If you have to ‘convince‘ someone to be with you.. no surrender, no retreat…

No one should have to be convinced to want to be with the awesomeness that you are. If you have it all and nothing to prove, and she’s seen it all and still can’t come to the logical conclusion that you’re perfect…

I liked her. I would have loved to continue pursuing a FWB situation with her. Still wanted to treat her to things, take her out alpha style, nurture her girly side beta style, and get her flowers for the hell of it once in a blue moon omega style. But i wasn’t going to beg her or try to convince her that it was in her best interest to do so. Hell, she still hadn’t done enough to qualify to me that she was worth it, but i put the bait out there if she wanted to aspire to become more than who she was and become part of something greater.

She made her choice.

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A quick thought on women who are emotionally broken..

June 20, 2012

It’s like 4,000,000,000,000 degrees here in Toronto. I think my teeth are melting. But onto the topic.

Yoda is a great and wise teacher. He’s got his speech ass backwards but his hearts in the right place. Anger does lead to the dark side. You take only what you carry with you. I don’t want to carry my hate any longer.

Sometimes in my anger i forget things.

I forget that sometimes people don’t have the luxury of choosing who their parents are and how they grow up.

While i am not required to spend my time, patience or energy on someone who wants nothing to do with me and it is not my purpose in life to fix another persons mental state (that’s what therapists are for), nor am i to suffer their presence especially if that person thinks they are absolutely perfect as they are.. i can still empathize with the fact that their lot in life is what it is because of forces beyond their control.

I still hold out hope that everyone in them has the ability to change for the better if they want it bad enough. But it’s not for me to make them drink the water, or even drag them to the water. I can only point to the water and hope they’re thirsty enough to make the trek.

I wish the best to my exwife, but that is as far as i will ever take it. Rest is up to her.

I wish the best for my former LJB-de-friendzoned-friend, but that is where it ends. Rest is up to her.

Good god why do i fall for the damaged ones. Do i have a fucking savior complex?

Thankfully due to inner game i can honestly look myself in the mirror and say “Not any more.”


I imagine a huge swath of children from the feminist induced divorce culture generation have been affected by this. The myriad of “Daddy Issue” girls prevelant in today’s society, and all the problems they bring to the table may be directly related to absentee father’s due to divorce, or beta fathers indoctrinated in the horror of reversed gender roles, trying to become their daughters “best friend” rather than a strong, yet caring role model to guide them.

The video below seems to explain a lot and as worth watching. While i wash my hands of damaged women and will actively screen them out in the process of finding a sane compatriot to accompany on the remainder of my life’s journey, i will not hate them for who they are. Instead i will pity them for what they became.


side note. my PC keeps rebooting in this heat and i’m being forced to use my company macbook. I am now contemplating getting a mac. I guess the reason we’re experiencing this horrendous heat wave is because hell has indeed froze over and all the exothermic energy has materialized here. I’ve got a cold beer shoved down my crotch. ahhhhhhh.


Why am i having such a hard time accepting this?

June 17, 2012

Animalistic fucking.

I can’t wrap my head around this one. Is there something wrong with me? Am i the only one?

I guess a lifetime of beta will do things to you. Condition some things out of you. My internal caveman has gone into the ether…

The rise of the sexually aggressive woman who wants you to do nothing more than just have your way with her without a single emotion involved is an enigma to me. Love/Sensuality/Romance/Mental Connection/Emotions/Feelings .. none of it. Just pure, primal.

The rise and popularity of media like 50 Shades of Gray eludes me. The fact that women have within them the need to be dominated and/or humiliated astounds me. My brain seemingly is unable to rewire itself to enjoy such wanton, meaningless debauchery. And i had no clue how far this spread. A quick search of ‘women like rough sexwill quickly reveal that i am not the first to have to tackle this paradox.

The rise of generic cookie cutter porn has also seemingly spurred this phenomena on. Where the exact same scene is repeated 5 times over the course of 1.5 hours of high definition garbage, with only the ‘actors’ being replaced in each scene. HD should never have been allowed in porn. Now i get to see every intricate detail i didn’t want to see and crystal dolby digital sound of things i never wanted to hear.

I get to see in full HD 1080p:

  • women speed fucking cocks like they’re trying to keep up to a 160 bpm techno tune or start a camp fire through friction
  • women gagging and deep throating cocks to the point of throwing up and leaving huge snail like saliva bubble trails
  • getting the hair pulled and yanked like a horse
  • getting choked, pushed, pulled and smacked in the face, tits, ass or pussy
  • being bent in and out of uncomfortable positions
  • being thrown about
  • ending up looking freakish and hideous with the new fashionable look – the running mascara look

I get to hear in Dolby Digital Surround 5.1:

  • high pitched shrill screeching
  • the words ‘fuck me fuck me fuck me’ about 10,000 time
  • hearing the dudes use every douche cliche in the book you’re such a sluttake it bitchyou want my cock don’t you you whoretake my dick all the way down bitch – etc..
  • what feels like obviously fake yells of ecstasy, like trying to convince yourself this is what you want, although it’s probably not fake, because many do end up squirting.

I can’t even watch 5 minutes of this stuff.  There is no point. I will not give me an erection. If i DID have an erection, this stuff will kill it.


The point i’m trying to make is.. where did *I* get the idea that women weren’t like this, didn’t like this kind of treatment and that this was an abberation and NOT the norm?

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