My stance on Fat Shaming

A lot has been said about the fat girl who posed with the slim built guy in protest of Abercrobie&Fitch.

I’m going to keep this short.

No one should be made to feel horrible or ashamed for how they look. No one. I don’t shame anyone for being fat in and of itself.

I have a problem with hypocrites tho, those who pretend to take a stand of sorts, which is standing for inequality and doing the easy thing.. not the hard thing.

No one can claim to deign what is and isn’t attractive to another human being. This is the lesson of the manosphere. Attraction just is. You being angry because a guy doesn’t find you sexually appealing because you are fat is no different than you not being attracted to the guy who lives in his moms basement at the age of 35 while playing WoW on Xbox and Dungeons and Dragons on the weekend.

I am saying this because i have never gone out of my way to intentionally harm someone else’s esteem, especially those who know their esteem is already low. It’s like kicking  lame horse.

There was a time when i was kicked. For both being fat, and for being the beta unattractive loser unworthy of a relationship.

So i get it.

I also keep stressing i know many people in real life, who are ‘big’.. who are the nicest people you would meet. Perhaps humility and humble come from adversity, and never having had the silver spoon in the mouth. Just a theory.

But..

Here’s my problem with the whole Militant Baker protest.

Stupid Meme.. Fixed it for ya!

A real quickie, but a goodie. Got to let me flex my Photoshop might for a bit.
I’m sure many of you have by now seen a stupid meme about body types floating around on Assbook or Twatter or Dumblr.

Anyhoo, this pic is quite obvious in it’s tone. Sexiness means having more meat on your bones, not being rail thin. The obvious implication here is to denigrate thin girls and root for the ‘bigger’ girls. What we’re really seeing is a bullshit trope laying the groundwork for saying ‘Fuck you skinny girls, once you go big you never go twig.”

The meme then goes to EXAGGERATED lengths to prove this by pitting some of the hottest most recognizable and desired females of a bygone era whilst posing for obvious professional pin up pics against some of the most poorly chosen, half recognizable celebs in the most unflattering harsh under daylight point&shoot camera pics.

Exhibit A. – The Meme.

Being somewhat of a hobbyist when it comes to photo’s let me just clarify a couple of things wrong with the setup of this meme.

The Revenge of the Few Extra Pounders

Regular reader ‘Stormy’ sent me one of those ‘funny’ ecards that float around the interwebz every now and again along with a stirring question.

“WTF all the fat chicks keep reposting this.”

Good question Stormy. I already answered for you but i’ll delve in deeper as to the why.. and also why it’s so horribly ineffective as ‘a joke’.

Firstly, it’s important to understand possible motive. It boils itself down to a self defense mechanism. The angry victim wants to strike back. There was a time many moons ago when i was not in shape, or popular. I had my own cohort of tormenters ready to pick on me. If you’re being constantly harassed, it’s easier to create a fault in your tormenter and focus on it, rather than look inward and see whether your harasser has a valid point, albeit presenting that point very poorly. And even then, your harasser is just that.. and individual, not a society or class of people. Sometimes people forget this.

Why?

Because it’s simply an easier way of dehumanizing their real or perceived abusers. The only way you feel better is by finding or creating out of thin air, something wrong about who you think is holding you down, projecting it over everyone who fits that type per-emptively and making fun of them to build yourself up as being morally, ethically or genuinely superior, especially by adding in the God bit at the end of it. I mean, if God is on your side, how could you possibly be in the wrong? God had to divvy between awesome looks and awesome personality, so it must suck to be a hottie when the big girls have all that awesomeness unto themselves.

But where this one fails horribly is this… i have never found a girl to be hysterical. Funny yes, but not hysterical. If they laughed at my jokes, then they were awesome. Brilliant? I’ve met girls much smarter than me. I like smart girls. I think it’s a great bonus if i could talk about philosophy or current events and not worry about them forgetting to change the oil in the car or put a peanut butter sandwich in the Bluray player. Smarts are great, oversmart not so much. Brilliance is in the eye of the beholder and if played poorly, it becomes a negative trait in the blink of an eye. BUT it was never was my primary interest for wanting to hookup with a woman. I’m a LOOKS first, ask questions late type of guy.

So that slogan really doesn’t do anything, ANYTHING to help their cause and only reaffirms that size 2 women are the type to be around. The careful wordplay tries to make it sound like an insult, like size 2 women are stupid and unsociable. If only the land whales posting these slogan cards actually understood gender properly. This is intrasexual competition at it’s finest. They know that in the looks department they are woefully handicapped in the mate selection department. They’re basically holding the door while the pretty ones get first dibs. They’re pissed. So instead of either:

Fat Acceptance. I didn’t get it.. so why should you?

Funny how it goes.

When i was fat and out of shape.. all the girls didn’t pay any attention to me, nor did they care. It wasn’t acceptable then. (Nor did it matter when i was skinny with no muscles, or when i was too beta.. but those are for another day)

Now that Game has flipped the script, and MGTOW won’t tolerate women who don’t bother to keep a healthy weight or appearance… we have the fad of ‘Fat Acceptance’ springing up like Krispy Kreme outlets in the early 2000’s.

Where was the love from my fellow womenfolk when i had a gut? Where was NAAFA?

I’m one of the last people to harp on others for the way they look. My motto is ‘do no harm’. People go through enough crap in their lives.. i don’t need to pile on to it. But i do preach to people to change what they can, fuck the rest. I don’t ask people to get cosmetic surgery to look beautiful. But controlling your weight isn’t rocket science. It’s simple discipline and self control, and a little movement here and there.

Yet.. you are asking me to ACCEPT a very backwards idea.

You are asking me to accept that you simply do not want to put in the effort to get healthy and shed weight. And by effort i don’t mean choosing a low-fat dressing to go on your KFC chicken salad or chewing on ‘flax seed’ bars or having a diet cola with your Big Mac.

You’re asking me to accept that you wish to remain in an unhealthy state that will cost everyone else down the road.

If you want to remain that way and then by all means eat another McDonald’s OREO pie, be my guest. I won’t make fun of you for being obese. I was there once, and ridiculed for it mercilessly (by women i might add) so my humility becomes me.

Yes folks.. that’s not a type-o. OREO baked pies.

But i won’t be attracted to you either. Most other folk wont too. And you can’t expect them to get over that. Attraction goes beyond ‘what’s on the inside’. Initial attraction is SKIN DEEP. Don’t tell me i’m shallow for not wanting to to be intimate with an overweight woman.

And while we’re at it, if you’re not willing to put in the effort required to get healthy then:
[updated list with links]

• do not be incensed if we ask that you pay more for insurance premiums. you will sack our health care reserves quicker than most
• do not be insulted if the airline makes you buy 2 tickets or adds a ‘fat’ surcharge because you are making the plane burn more fuel and removing one extra customer off that flight
• do not be flippant when you are turned down for a job where presentable appearance is required, or productivity is hampered by your inability to move quickly and efficiently
• do not get angry when people give you dirty looks for getting to park in a handicap spot for physically disabled people when you have the means and ability to overcome it. Spinal cord injuries not so much.
• etc.

To round out this post, i just want to link to a comment from over at HUS that the great Obsidian pointed to in regards to hard truths women have been denied because no one will discuss it to them. The lies of feminism telling both boys and girls to ‘be yourself, accept your body, love who you are and someone will love you too’ was immolated by this comment from a female who sees the lies for what they were. You can read the comment here.

Fat doesn’t have to be mocked, there’s no reason to make a persons life harder. But it doesn’t have to be accepted either. I don’t have to make fun of you, but don’t sit there and expect me be attracted to something i can’t get it up for. That’s not a design flaw in me.

Shit like this doesn’t help: