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Stupid Meme.. Fixed it for ya!

July 20, 2012

A real quickie, but a goodie. Got to let me flex my Photoshop might for a bit.
I’m sure many of you have by now seen a stupid meme about body types floating around on Assbook or Twatter or Dumblr.

Anyhoo, this pic is quite obvious in it’s tone. Sexiness means having more meat on your bones, not being rail thin. The obvious implication here is to denigrate thin girls and root for the ‘bigger’ girls. What we’re really seeing is a bullshit trope laying the groundwork for saying ‘Fuck you skinny girls, once you go big you never go twig.”

The meme then goes to EXAGGERATED lengths to prove this by pitting some of the hottest most recognizable and desired females of a bygone era whilst posing for obvious professional pin up pics against some of the most poorly chosen, half recognizable celebs in the most unflattering harsh under daylight point&shoot camera pics.

Exhibit A. – The Meme.

Being somewhat of a hobbyist when it comes to photo’s let me just clarify a couple of things wrong with the setup of this meme.

  1. Two of the four bottom pics are in B&W. It’s a well known fact that black and white pics, by the very nature of conflicting contrasts creates a more visually stimulating image. It also hides skin tone and age better than color.
  2. Harsh uncontrolled daylight, bad exposure settings and overblown desaturated pics can cause all kinds of ugly you would never notice otherwise. Ever wonder why you see covers on professional flashes and dudes holding big white reflective cirles? The shadows you see are the only ones they want you to see. Nicole’s pic is probably the best of the bunch in this regard.
  3. All the girls in the bottom row are modeling at angles. Marilyn the least which shows the most weight. All the pics on the top row save for Kirsten are squared dead center to the camera
  4. All the women at bottom who have legs displayed are angling their feet in the classic ‘ghost heel’ position, to lengthen the leg and make the calve and butt pop. All ladies at top are flatfooted.
  5. Three of the four girls at top are obvious social airheads, and the author of the pic is banking on the fact your hatred of them will influence you. As i said, Nicole’s pic is probably the best, but it doesn’t matter because you hate her guts for being a dumb cunt and former BFF to One Night in Paris Hilton.

I could direct you to look up any of those women in the top panel in Google Images and see whether you can find sexier pics than the ones provided. I doubt it would take you more than a few seconds.

I get it. I get that some big girls out there are tormented by the fact skinny girls get all the attention and they want to return to a darker age in time when plump was fashionable. But of course back then we also didn’t bathe and sprayed ourselves with scents to cover the BO. And even then they knew what the true nature of man was. How else can you comprehend women killing themselves to fit into corsets? I cannot see humanity regressing to that state ever again. Just as we all enjoy proper 21st century dental hygiene, so to do we like our fertility cues as they stand.

LOL. Reproduction rights… oh the irony.

Look… I get that big girls were probably tormented by skinny girls and for that I’m sorry. I think no one should be picked on for the way they look. I honestly mean that. I NEVER go out of my way to make someone feel bad about the way they look UNLESS they start the fight with me first. I don’t walk down the street unprovoked and just start pointing at people going ‘HAAAAHHAAAAA‘ like the Nelson kid from the Simpsons.

But see here’s the thing. I don’t like being told what ***I*** should find sexy or appealing to me. And i REALLY don’t want to be told that ***I*** am behind the times, or in someway broken because i tend to enjoy looking at hot babes that have a BMI of 20 to 24.9

Since when does any woman have one fuck of a right to tell ME what i find appealing?

Anonymous poster on Hidden Leaves agrees by saying:

Alternate (and more truthful) version of the meme: “Since when did actresses start getting cast based on their appeal to female viewers instead of male viewers? Oh, right, that came with the whole feminism thing…”

That would be like me telling women they should all stop being hypergamous sluts and stop sopping for guys like David Beckham and instead find attraction in their loins for aging bald guys because haven’t you heard.. bald is the new sexy!

Thank you for the clarification Jean-Luc… make it so.

So i took it upon myself to fix the meme pic. Do feel free to share it around in response to wherever you may come across the original.

Let them know that you indeed still find women of today sexy! Just that you find them sexy on your terms.. not the ones feminists and the victim come victimizer would like to impose upon you if they could.

Lol.. jeez this was supposed to be a quickie post. How the fuck do i always manage to drag these things out?

I should have become a screen writer.

20 comments

  1. Agree on the exaggeration, but another factor in this discussion is that women are often blind to the fact that THEY have their own metrics for judging beauty, and they often differ from men’s.

    It’s pretty clear from magazines marketed to men (Maxim, Playboy) that guys like, and will buy images of, women with curve. Yet women line up to buy images of skinny chicks, then complain about “unrealistic standards of beauty” as if someone forced them to buy that magazine or watch that ET episode.

    Women also seem to project their hypergamous need for absolutely the best onto men, along with some apex fallacy, when I tell them “you know there are a lot of great guys around who’d be more than happy to be your boyfriend if you just stopped obsessing about trying to get the guy all the other girls want” and they fire back “yeah but guys demand you have to be a size 2!!” People with no understanding of men who want to cry about something instead of changing their lives for the better.


  2. Any woman at or around a 5 in attractiveness can get a boyfriend if she wants one. He might not be the best, or the wealthiest, or the best looking. But he will be hers.


  3. Yes, but as Badger noted, they’re all looking for the Clooney’s of the world, even the 5’s. Women have reversed the trend. They want the trophy husbands now.


  4. Notice how you didn’t pick the same women in different pictures. You picked women who WEIGHED MORE than the women in the original picture.

    I agree with you on fat women, but the women from the bottom row can hardly be called fatties. They’re all women with a normal BMI, and they’re hot as hell. And they always will be. That’s not going to change. I get it, the hotties of today have larger BMIs. (the women back then were true hourglasses, with BMIS as small as 0.6 and 0.5). Unfortunately, female beauty and male preferences are becoming masculinized, most likely due to hormones in the water. Women with narrow plank bodies are what’s hot to the mainstream media. It’s lame.


  5. Also, pictures today are photoshopped to hide women’s bones and muscles, as women are becoming more masculinized, photoshop is used to smooth over their angular faces, pump up their breasts (since they’re usually flat, ie Rosie Huntington Whitely, a LINGERIE model, has to use three cutlets to fill A cup bras for photoshoots), smooth over their ribs, hip bones, and abs. Similarly to how lighting use to be used to hide cellulite and wrinkles. I don’t know which is more disgusting.


  6. Example for those who might not believe me or claim I’m being jealous.

    I’m not saying Cameron Diaz or any of these women are ugly, but I’m saying that beauty is def more masculine than before. Not only are women expected to act like men, then punished for it, they’re expected to look like men…and get photoshopped for it? Why can’t women just be women?


  7. Nice find on that last link.

    Men and women both know photoshop gets used to touch up pictures, but few know the extent. In the unphotoshopped one, she looks like she has had her initial hit with the wall and is trying to control the fallout. The second gives here a few more years before the wall.


  8. Seems to me you’ve gone from one extreme to the other: From being overweight {fat} to being ultra skinny {starved}. Unfortunately both are unhealthy and in order to achieve the Twiggy waif pre-adolescent look preferred in the modeling world most women have to literally starve themselves.

    Years ago in a topless bar I was approached by such an ultra skinny girl whose hair was as short as a boys and her chest was as flat as a board. She asked me if I wanted a table dance and I turned her down. Why? Because I’m not into women who look like pre-adolescent girls and I’m of the opinion that men who are into the pre-adolescent look are latent Pedophiles.


  9. I agree. I’m now at a loss to figure out what the original intent of the author of the meme was. Like many others have stated, it appears to be projection of female ideals, because i can’t find any men who would claim the top row is in any way sexy (although i have hots for Keira, she was cute in PotC), and as i stated, those pics were the worst possible for the reasons i described. I am sure with enough digging you can find good sexy of those girls done by professional photogs. Kirsten seems hopeless tho 🙂

    Others have noted that alot of fashion is controlled by gay men who project their waif masculine visions onto their models, so it’s a gay mans projection that drives women to believe it’s what ‘men’ want, when farthest from.

    At the end of the day, women should stop looking at ad’s in Vogue, Cosmo and Elle fashion rags and pick up some Maxim’s to get a ‘mans’ perspective. I see nothing but healthy curves here


  10. I so totally look like that chick on the top row far right.(except I have long dark hair) LOL


  11. Mental note.. i must visit Texas.


  12. LOL I’m teasin’. Honestly, she has more meat on her bones than I do. I’m more like those skinny ones in the meme before you fixed it.


  13. Don’t i feel like an assclown now!

    As long as you’re not starving yourself, and have a healthy weight for your frame, then great! I don’t find real issues with the top row chicks (except Kirsten, i hate her) and a quick Google search could find hot replacement pics. I just kept it in the bikini spectrum to keep the meme balanced. As others have noted, those were the worst pics of those girls you could possibly find.


  14. No, it’s okay. I’m not anorexic. The meme you created was way better.


  15. Ha thank you for this. I seriously hate that meme. And thank you for pointing out that all the top photos were unflattering daylight pics. I can’t stand the “real women have curves” campaign. I am all for body acceptance and appreciate women with different body types. I think some heavier women can be just as hot as a skinny chick, but as you said, who is anyone to say what anyone else should be attracted to? You like who you like and that is that. And who is anyone to say what women “should” look like? “A women should have curves.” No. A woman should have a vagina and that is all she “should have” to qualify as a woman.


  16. You are most welcome my dear! You are correct, you should be happy with your own image on your own terms and never let anyone influence you to do drastic things like surgery to fix your appearence. But you must also accept that if you choose to pile on weight, less peoplewill not find you attractive and its not for you to change others opinions.

    Ps. Lookin good, you’re doin it right. 😉


  17. Basically – if you feel ashamed, there’s probably a reason for it. Either it’s an inner reason (self motivated) or outer one (society motivated).

    No matter which of those is the truth, you need to come to terms with it. Either learn to live with those judgments, or say fuck them and get in better shape. To say fuck them and then not change just seems like you expect a whole society to change rather than yourself.


  18. In a way, I agree and in a way I don’t. I think judgements are things that people are wire to make from to time, but I do think they go too far. I try to not judge people for their body types because I understand it’s not my body. I don’t know why they are fat so who am I to call them lazy or anything? I don’t feel like it’s my business or right to be concerned with how they are living their lives so why should I judge them? I feel like that is inflicting on their rights to be happy with how they are. I think people in general feel entitled to judge people for their weight and no, I do not advocate that. People called me anorexic for years and I wasn’t. I couldn’t help my body and there are fat people who can’t help people fat no matter how little they eat or how much they work out. And even if people want to be fat and are happy with it, I’m not going to poke my nose in their ass and say they “shouldn’t” live that way.


  19. I don’t really care if someone’s over weight or not until they start telling me that I should be attracted to them, see their inner beauty, or some other BS. They can let their bodies go to shit if they want, but telling me I should enjoy them for it isn’t going to fly.

    I also don’t stand for people overweight also telling others how to live healthily or anything else. They often influence others around them to live less healthily, and I have issues with that as well.


  20. I hate that meme because it is utterly misleading. All of those women on the bottom row were tiny. Bettie Page had a 22 inch waist to go along with her 37 inch hips. I read an article on Slate about Marilyn Monroe’s movie wardrobe, and how small it was. Shirley Jones was a dancer, and Elizabeth Taylor was never thin (and as is notable in her later life, tended toward chubbiness), but again, had a tiny waist. Basically, the modern comparisons are Scarlett Johansen or Sofia Vergara, neither of whom would be considered “plus size.”



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