Dating Profile Hall of Shame

Profile Names and Links redacted as per my new policy. This is just for display purposes of actual profiles that existed.

A collection of profiles that have made me lose hope in the battle against female solipsism and entitled attitudes to getting their prince charming while offering nothing of feminine value in return.

Welcome to Online Dating 2.0 HELL!

“Dance like there’s nobody watching”

About Non-Smoker with Athletic body type City Newmarket Ontario
Details 26 year old Woman, 5′ 8″ (173 cm), Non-Religious Ethnicity Caucasian Scorpio with Brown hair
Intent ***** isn’t seeking a relationship or any kind of commitment. Education Masters degree

I need to meet someone who will introduce me to new things,[your job] adore (or put up with) my wacky moods and keep me in line. [children need to be disciplined] Very important: I am not Interested in your offer to pay me, I make enough money for myself, nor am I going to bed you. Not my type.

I like people that are confident and who likes to plays but can keep it real. Not a player.[Be the un-tamable tiger that only i control] I am looking for a man that is intelligent, funny, handsome, patient, responsible, loyal and that makes me feel safe.[I want it all] I like a guy that will surprise me every now and then.[I want to be spoiled and entertained constantly with new things]
I am looking for a guy who can keep me on my toes both when it comes to intellect and energy.[I will shit test you and argue everything with you because combative women are sexy]  There is nothing that I will not do to support the people I care about, but if I think you are wrong I will tell you and I hope that you would do the same for me. [I need you to dominate me because i will make your life hell if you don’t]
Are curious about the world around you.[You like to subsidize my travels] You can take a joke and are not easily offended.[I will put you down in front of people and disrespect you] You believe that sarcasm is a spice of life.[You should find my demeanor funny] You can spell, and are generally happy.[I’m a grammar NAZI and your life is so good you have no issues to bother me with as i don’t want to hear them, only my purile and pretentious issues matter] The rest is negotiable.[Only on my terms!]Happy Fishing

Any classy men out there???
About Non-Smoker with Average body type City Toronto Ontario
Details 31 year old Woman, 5′ 4″ (163 cm), Christian – other Ethnicity Caucasian Virgo with Mixed Color hair
Intent ***** is actively seeking a relationship. Education Masters degree
NO GAMES PLEASE [oh of course not]…no class no me [no fucks to give]… Please be mature/ambitious otherwise it won’t work[so i have to do all the heavy lifting for an immature brat like you]…read delete read delete and repeat lol [fyi, you are not funny]I hate it when people lie…dont do it because I’ll catch u up in it. [you are a walking lie who is not self aware]I’m looking to get off this site [stop going after douchebags?]…and first impressions are everything 🙂 [ahhh and the other shoe drops. i hear Mystery and Roosh make very good first impressions]Men are not men anymore [thank you Feminist movement]…lets all just keep going round and round till we spin out of control [thats how you like it dramamama]… this site is bullsh*t please somebody prove me wrong [doctor heal thyself]If you are under 30 or over 40 do not message me thanks 🙂 [glad she’s got some standards…]

How do you like me now?

About Non-Smoker with undisclosed body type City toronto Ontario
Details 37 year old Woman, 5′ 5″ (165 cm), Jewish Ethnicity Caucasian Gemini with Brown hair
Intent ***** is actively seeking a relationship. Education Bachelors degree
Jewish single female looking for Jewish (or not religious) male. I am educated, funny, cute and athletic and I expect you to be the same. [well obviously… i am well aware of how hypergamy works, you’re not here for love, you’re here for a status accessor]
I have my head on straight and know what I am looking for. [Took you this long eh] I want a capable man, one that knows how to do things and doesn’t need someone to teach him [i guess at your age that makes sense]. I want someone that is interesting, that won’t bore me. [try the Dos Equis man, tho you will have competition] I love to laugh, please be funny. [i love blowjobs, please enjoy them and swallow] Don’t be douchy and keep it classy. [ooops. too late. shoulda wrote this at the start of your profile]Not looking for intimate encounters or sex with couples, thanks… [sure ya are..]I really just want to meet someone great to spend time with. I didn’t know it would be so difficult. [everyone is dizzy after hitting a wall as hard as you have] I am not looking to rush into anything but if you are commitment-phobic please go to the next profile and don’t waste my time. [who would be commitment phobic towards a 37 year old woman who just decided to come off the carousel]

I like to try new things and sometimes I will surprise you. [are you talking about bedroom antics?]

I have scaled mountains, rode camels, danced in the street. [and yet i still don’t have one fuck to give? how many ways can i stress i care not?] I have flown an airplane and know how to shoot guns. [cool, nice to avoid a relationship with a woman who can kill me and escape to a non extradition country] I am scared of my shadow and the dark, [and you handled firearms?] I like a man that opens the door and treats me like a lady. [that ship has long sailed. thank your feminist sisters for that. and shove your entitled privilege. lots of blowjobs will earn it back] I prefer white chocolate unless it is smarties cause those are the best. [so does my friends 5 year old daughter, i’m not going to date her because of that either]
But truthfully I really am done with the bar scene and just want someone to explore the world with. [37 and you just got done with the bar scene… whew. time to marry this one while the gettins good]Please don’t be shy but if I don’t respond it isn’t personal I just really know what I want. [go ahead loser, man up, take the time to write something meaningful, yet tingly enough, otherwise your time will not merit a response no matter how thoughtful, because im a fabulous 37 year old woman who deserves the best and will only reply to my Prince that i’ve yet to find]?”When you find true love, never let it go or let it be interrupted” [one can only imagine how many times you let it go or interrupt it for greener pastures and carousel riding.]

First Date

Body shots? [major slut tell]
No. Maybe a walk and a glass of wine would be nice. [always with the wine to loosen up the inhibitions eh]
Sweet, Sexy, Smart
About Non-Smoker with Athletic body type City toronto Ontario
Details 31 year old Woman, 5′ 5″ (165 cm), Non-Religious Ethnicity Hispanic Gemini with Brown hair
Intent *****  is looking for a relationship. Education Some college

About Me

Love to dance and sing- have been at it since I was 10yrs old and made my hair comb into a mic ..Secretly Id love to rule the world- I have so many ideas to bring positive change xo [yeah right. this is code for bossy, domineering and full of happy fluffy ideology that will cripple society to the whims of feelings]

I’m the perfect girl/woman/best friend. [people who think they’re perfect seldom are, and i dont want to be your best friend.. not until well after we’re fucking] Very passionate about the right people places and things. [who’s passionate about the wrong ones?]
Very romantic, spontaneous and affectionate. Enjoy classical music and fine dining. [spontaneous is code for irresponsible. probable slut. fine dining is code for entitled and debt spending to enjoy the moment. probably financial black hole]

Secretly a fan of old school RNB , Rock, oldies, and French jazz( yes, I like the variety:) [likes variety. confirmed slut lol]

You- Are a confident, loyal, brilliant, sexy man, who enjoys the finer things in life and know how to have a good time and treat his one and only leading lady. You come complete, solid, ready to enjoy and keep a loyal, funny, sexy loving women.  [you are everything every woman wants, the James Bond, the David Beckham, you are royalty, you can afford to lavish your partner in a materialistic lifestyle.. and you will choose me over all others to be your leading lady even tho other women throw themselves at you daily. You lucky bastard, you get to commit all of yourself to only me because… wait for it… i .. have.. a… vagina! unlike those other harlots… umm]

I come from a old school mentality and adore a man who can speak his mindand heart, who knows what he wants out of life and gets it. A man who is stable,and fearless who believes he creates all the postive energy around him. A man who can work a room, charm all people but have his eyes only on me. [i come from the old school that says you are the perfect man desired by all, but you must still qualify to me and only have eyes for me, until i tire of you and take you for half of everything because i’m worth it! i am delusional and i love it!]

First Date

Coffee. Dolce Cinnamon latte- its like Christmas in a cup! [i even require my coffee to be alpha exciting!]


  1. That was nauseating

  2. lol @ 37 slore just getting done with the bar scene


  3. that shit is classic…

    I tried online dating….

    couldn’t stand it…

    had one disaster date-no I don’t want to tell…

    and, I don’t know why but allot of older women were flirting with me, some were really fit and one even looked like a former model…

    also one weird experience was that I met a lady almost the same age as me, we exchanged lots of messages and I interpreted that as “interest.” So I asked if she’d like to meet for coffee. She didn’t even respond-she just blocked me. (I didn’t say anything rude, maybe that was the problem.) My friend explained to me that allot of women on dating sites (and facebook) aren’t there to meet a boyfriend/lover/fling but just to get guys paying attention and telling them they are hot or to have someone to vent to over their bad day at work. The more I thought about it, it made me a little angry and I felt used. Feminists will go on all day about how evil porno is because it exploits women. Well at least those women get paid for their “exploitation.” All I got was wasted time and my emotions stepped on…

    I tried to quit but it was a pain, so as a joke, I put a picture of Roosh in my profile….

    haha, maybe I’m not as ugly as I thought, cause no one flirted when he was my profile pic…

    anyways, the sad part is I guess I did better than many guys with online dating by having a “disaster date” and an older guy told me to “keep at it.”

  4. you are deranged.

  5. It’s turning you on isn’t it.

  6. Hilarious…I’ve seen so much of this and it is all so true. Nice blog…no holds barred…the way it should be. PC peeps be damned.

  7. I can understand why you wouldn’t want to date a woman who isn’t your type, but “likes a variety of music? definitely a slut!” just makes you sound bitter lol

  8. Poor girls…
    …but even in the ICU, when we see the patient isn’t going to get better, we D/C care.

  9. Hey M3. I started a sub on Reddit that pokes fun at the dating profiles of women looking for a “Good Man”:


    Also, I wrote an essay that discusses the life of the average woman who rejects or friendzones Good Men for jerks on the carousel, and what happens when she’s ready to settle down with a “Good Man”, which I think compliments your Confessions essay:


  10. lol

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