There are NiceGirls™ all around us

You’re too Nice dear.

Ever see the girl who loves cooking breakfast for a douchebag?

Ever know a girl who really likes getting her boyfriend a beer?

Ever witnessed a girl make a sammich for her lover?

Ever heard about a woman who picks up after, cleans and does the laundry of her special guy?

Ever read dating and advice columns about women asking what more they can do to get their significant other to un-equivocally commit to them?

Ever had to listen to some vapid chick cry about how hard she tries to please her man sexually, giving him every request he wants without getting her needs fulfilled, faking her orgasms or just getting the wham bam jackhammer thank you m’aam treatment.. and then  asking why he’s still so distant?

Ever hear a woman weep after being berated, humiliated, shoved, abused by her man.. and defend her man saying he’s really not like that, he’s a good person, just give him time?

Ever hear all of this from a woman who simply felt an expectation that doing these things were part of building a relationship towards the goal of commitment?

Ever hear a woman call a man a commitment-phoebe?

Ever hear all of these women pour forth a river of tears , shrieking in agony and cursing to the heavens about how they did everything to keep the relationship going, how awful these horrible men were for not pouring in the same amount of effort, how he’s a creep, a loser, immature, peter pan, man boy  child, not ready for a serious relationship and how he wouldn’t man up to take the relationship to the “next level“?

The vitriol that bursts forth from their lips when cold, harsh  reality sinks in as her mind awakens to the fact that all her efforts were for naught, all the while receiving cold comfort and validation from a security blanket of female friends, a gaggle of hens who curse the stupid awful mean man who simply refused to appreciate her epic awesomeness to perform his duty to the imperative and commit to her.

We see it all the time but never call it out for what it is because we live in a world that gives primacy and validation for the female preferred method of both promiscuity and attaining commitment.

It’s the rules of GirlWorld™.

THE NICE PARADOX. TO BE NICE IS TO CEDE POWER.

Confessions of a Reformed InCel

[UPDATE 4-26-2018]

It’s been almost 4 years since i left this space of the internet. It’s been almost 6 years since i wrote the below post.

A lot changes with time away from the sphere. I’ve lived a normal life, with a great gal in a ‘normal’ family setting, engaging with society, a totally different man that the one 4, 6, 10+ years ago. Had i not taken that journey, a cathartic one no doubt, who knows where i could have ended up. You couldn’t really write a better ending for the journey i took from the mouth of Hell back to normality.

And then Monday happens. April 23, 2018 at 1:24pm. A beautiful, warm sunny day not unlike the kind 9/11 is remembered for.

I want to state this right off the bat for the record. My heart and my sympathies go out to every individual affected by the Van assault mass murder by the person who i will not name. I won’t acknowledge the killer or immortalize him. Not only do i not condone his actions, i condemn them as strongly as i can condemn anything. He is a coward.

At the height of my depression, at the lowest point in my life being incel, i never considered violence against anyone but myself. Even then i realized that ones actions don’t exist in a bubble, and that every action you apply resonates beyond whatever you’re looking at. But for this individual, he crossed into the dangerous territory where his focus was not to look at others as people who have family and friends and coworkers who will be impacted and grieve. All he saw was a society that isolated him, did not care to help him but instead ridiculed him, and decided that since he lost in the game of life.. he was going to drag as many to the bottom with him before he died. Ultimately he even failed at suicide, which is somewhat ironic.. confirming his failure at everything.

I know somewhere on my blog, there are comments by me, denouncing Elliot Rogers. (I should have made a post, and if i didn’t that would be a glaring oversight on my part). While i have the ultimate empathy for true suffering incels, who have gone without the basic and primal human connection one can have with the opposite sex.. i have NO SYMPATHY whatsoever for those who take that pain and decide to unleash it on others. Those innocent people Elliot shot were not the cause of Elliots incelness. Elliots unwillingness to embrace TRP hard truths were the source of his pain. The people that were run down on Monday in Toronto, so very close to home to me and the ones i love, who could easily have been in his bombsights on any given day, were not the cause of this individuals alleged incelness. An unwillingness to try to become better than he was, was the cause of it.

It was their absolute lack of trying to change to be something better. Or maybe worse, they were just broken and irreparable from the start. I try to believe everyone can be saved.. but who knows anymore. When i watched the video’s of Elliot Roger come out, i sat there horrified. In another life, that *might* have ended up being me had i not course corrected. I wondered if the chance could ever occur, was there something myself.. or anyone much more suited like Rollo, could ever have said to snap him out of his delusional angst? You could see it in his eyes on the videos.. this one is too far gone to help. If you ever wanted to see what ‘entitled to womens bodies’ actually looks like, stare at Elliots face. Most incels don’t feel entitled.. they feel like they’ve been left out of the party everyone else is having. Entitled is crashing the party and ruining it for everyone else.

TRP takes many forms. Early on i decided i wanted to take the ‘become the best you that you can be’ mantra version. I didn’t want to ‘game’ for hookups, i wanted to invest in myself, to truly change who i was so i could confidently command the asking price rather than beg for crumbs. Rollo very recently discussed how many come to TRP and complain they wont be able to carry on ‘the act’. He explained how when he applied it and internalized it, it became part of who he was and second nature, and it was no longer an act, it was just him. That’s the part i tried to emulate.. to take the lessons, and apply them and use them until it no longer felt like i’m pretending to be someone i’m not. But you have to try, and make the time and put in the effort. And you have to have realistic expectations to boot. I will never be Ryan Reynolds or Channing Tatum in looks.. but on the range of unattainable beauty standards, and where i started, i hit a happy medium i was proud of. Can i go further? Sure, but thats my call, not societies.

But you still need to put in the work. Even if you can’t reach the ideal, strive for it. The whole concept of ‘you’re perfect just the way you are’ needs to die. Can you imagine how much Elliot might have thought that about himself? Or the van murderer? If you are unhappy, the only person who can do something about that is YOU. No one else. And telling unhappy people that they’re ok as they are is a recipe for disaster.

I still have complete empathy for the incel community, but i want to hope that the ones who reach the TRP message take the right, and not the wrong lessons from this. Become better, knowledge is power, but apply it properly and dont expect a quick fix! Looking at my ancient story below, you will notice that the happy ending does not occur right away, but years later once the core tenets of TRP are internalized and applied. Shorcuts often lead to more anguish in this regard.

As much as this tragedy has personally disturbed me to the core, i am equally troubled by the way some of the media outlets are handling this. While undoubtedly there are many misogynistic incels (whom you still need to reach out to in order to quell the rage), there are equally harmless ones, confused ones, and angry ones who simply learn for the first time they’ve been playing by the wrong set of books. Were we to actually engage with incels in a real fashion, and first acknowledge that YES, it is debilitating, humiliating and emotionally devastating to the individuals who suffer through it.. we need to actually engage with them without judgement of how and why they got there, and realistically work with them in an honest fashion to help them overcome their problems. Chastising them, yelling at them, mischaracterizing them or applying blanket misogyny labels upon them – WILL NOT – i repeat, will not bring them into the open to educate, treat, rehab or reform them. It will drive them further into darkness where you just might start producing more of these emotionally spent, dead eyed, uncaring, lay waste to the world, reproductive losers in the game of life.. dehumanize everyone surrounding them. They go on to become the next one. Their rationalization is so apparent, i don’t understand why no one can see it.

They spend their entire lives isolated, in pain, wondering what about them is so wrong as to never be desired. It’s not obvious to them, otherwise they’d have done something. Or they’ve been enabled by liars who tell them they’re perfect as they are, to just be themselves. And yet, being themselves only incites ridicule from others, taunting, jeers and derision. Once this isolation hits a peak, they no longer see people around them as people, they see them as abusers. Everyone who is having a good time, smiling, laughing, enjoying life, having lives, having sexual relationships, having romance, sharing emotions.. all in front of the face of the one who is told ‘no, not for you, you can’t play with us’. There are some who are ok with this, accept their lot in life, and stay there. There are other who decide to change themselves so they too can join the game. And finally, there are the Elliots and Toronto van murderer who decide that if they can’t enjoy this life like others can, they’re gonna ruin it for the rest of us. That’s it in a nutshell.

My one wish is that this issue is examined without the polarization we see in todays politics of left and right, where each side screams at the other saying ‘you’re wrong’ and nothing happens except a race to the bottom. You can’t expect people to come to you for help when you’re going to demonize them from the outset. That needs to stop. Incels need help. What that help is and how it reaches them is another discussion altogether. But it’s one that needs to happen to keep shit like this from repeating.

I have not enough words of condolence i can give to the innocents who were taken, and the lives of everyone else who will be affected by their loss. This tragedy hit too close to home.

It could have been me. It could have been me in front of that van on any other routine day. It could have been my family, my friends, my coworkers, anyone i love and care about. It is still surreal that this happened at all.

I also shudder to think ‘could it have been me’ inside the van behind the wheel,.. had i not found TRP and changed my life instead of believing the pretty lies of others. Was i ever capable, would enough time in hell for me produce a similar fate? I don’t ever want to know.

I grieve with Toronto for those who were lost, i have to hope it never happens again. Most of all, that will require changing the way we talk about this issue.

…

[EDIT – Days after Elliot Roger murders: For anyone new coming here from The Daily Dot, Reddit, Ask Men or anywhere else. Once you are finished reading this piece (due to the interest since the Elliot Rogers murders) and you get all your feathers ruffled about the ‘feelings’ section, please head over HERE for understanding the proper context lest you get your panties in a bunch. If you assume the language was written as intent rather than contextualizing what would be required to have women stripped of their natural biological advantage of being noticed solely for the fact they are female – then i can’t help you or you comprehension skills. peace the fuck out]

…

[ORIGINAL POST BEGINS]

November 17, 2012. enough is enough. i warned y’all it might get depressing. here goes. don’t worry, it ends well. i think.

+++

In honor of my 10,000th view.. i’m going to publish what i consider the hardest post i’ve ever written. But it needs to be written, for i may be an extreme, i know i’m not alone. This isn’t written for the PUA or the Alpha or the Pussy Slayer™. This is written for you, the one without hope..  to know there is hope and you can get better.

Thanks for the hits guys! Snapshot taken 07/09/12 at 2:33 pm after 3 weeks on the interwebz.

[actually no.. i’ve crossed 50k. that’s how long i’ve been holding onto this draft, terrified of letting it go. but i saw a comment today that finally let me pull the trigger.]

It is so Very hard to hit that PUBLISH button.

Writing this post is a source of *shame* for me. It’s been sitting in my drafts for about 2 weeks [edit: 5+ months actually]…

But at this point in my life having endured what i have, it does not trouble me putting it out in the sphere. I am sure i am not alone in this and that this post will actually help someone out there. Some of you may relate. Women hopefully may finally understand where my anger and cynicism stems from.

So i’ve decided to unleash it. [about time?]

Firstly, before you continue, please go read THIS POST. [Edit Apr.30,2014: Due to the explosion of traffic from AskMen, I have noticed this post is no longer available, so i will instead invite you to go read THIS POST instead ] No offense to the author, my past wasn’t her fault.. but it struck the usual nerve with me. You need to read posts like this to let the feeling of inequality fill you up.

Welcome back..

When i read it or stories like it, these are the THINGS I FEEL (and yes, i know ‘feelings’ are the domain of a woman)

• When i hear a woman tell me that she’s gone through a dry spell and not had sex in over X weeks/ months.. i feel like putting my fist through her face.
• When i hear a woman tell me that she feels ugly or unloved or unwanted because her partner hasn’t touched her in over 6 months, i feel like laughing loudly 3 inches from her face.
• When i hear a woman tell me that she just picked up a random guy for a night of fun because she was lonely, i feel like i’m glad i don’t own a gun.
• When i hear a woman tell me that i shouldn’t feel bad about having gone without for so long, after all it’s only just sex, i feel like disfiguring her face with a scalpel.

Nature’s cruel joke and cosmic irony in one. I as a man, biologically driven365 days a year to ejaculate and produce sperm as often as possible, and having the drive and desire to want it every waning moment, who is villified for this natural urge and made to feel ashamed of my sexuality, control it and subdue it to conform to the feminine imperative… have to listen to women, who in their solipsism cannot fathom the ordeal of what i’m about to write about, women who biologically ovulate and desire sex rather infrequently compared to men, talk about, no celebrate their sexuality, their urges and desires.. and lament their short dry spells as if the world were coming to an end. They can never understand what a power differential there is in these urges.

Women can say they love sex just as much as men. I would call BS. Until there is a glut of male prostitutes, male escorts, male rub n tugs for female patrons, a demand for male sex workers and strippers i’ll say nay. Unless they’re all having alpha sex on the side perhaps? Or will touching themselves to 50 shades suffice? At least mommy porn is culturally acceptable. Women DO NOT need sex like men do.. otherwise the sphere would not exist.

Anyways.. back to my pitiful former life.

I have no pictures of myself from a time period stretching from high school to my late 20’s, save for some randoms others might have taken of me. I have no memories or recollections of my time in high school. I have no stories of parties, girlfriends or wild flings. It’s a time period i wiped from my mind, much like PTSD. The only way i can recall it is if i sit down and think really hard about it. I rarely do because i don’t like feeling like shit for the hell of it.

I was that beta/omega/zeta. I let myself get LJBF‘ed on multiple occasions being that ‘nice guy’ that male hating cunt Amanda Marcotte despises. I  played by the rules as handed down to me by the feminine authorities on what women would look for and appreciate in a man. I was asked to believe what they said, not what they did. ‘Just be yourself‘ (your nice beta supplicating self) was the golden code.

So here it is… my Incel Hell.

This is where you will stay for the next 12 years. Enjoy your stay.

<deep breath>

Remain friends while sexually attracted? The debate continues.

Firstly read this if you haven’t yet.

[LINK]

I just caught this video over at another blog. In the interest of trying to get as many voices on this as possible I’m putting the video here and hoping you comment on it, since the blogger who put this video up really want’s to know your thoughts. [come on you lurkers, decloak dammit] I’ve decided to put it here rather than reblog her page or send the manosphere there because i don’t want it to look like im sending attack dogs her way. She’s really curious, appears inquisitive and willing to listen. Let’s try to keep a modicum of respect here, but whatever comments you want to direct towards the video itself.. let loose.

Here’s the video:

I find it interesting that she uses actual clips from the video i put up in my platonic post, and seems to entirely be dismissive of the comments made by the men in the video. It appears she seems to just want to wish her vision of the world into existence. I feel a Picard meme coming on.

Here is the original comment I made. I’m hoping others have much more to add than what i’ve put down. Whatever your views, pro or con, i’d love to hear them as i’m sure she would to.

M3 says:

Interesting how far her delusion has taken her.

With regard to the ‘a history of separation’ part of the video at 1:14
A great relevant post to be read before trudging further
http://dalrock.wordpress.com/2012/06/08/the-boyfriend-invention/

at 1:35 she brings up the feminists asking the question ‘why cant we be friends’ (sung while strumming a ukulele).. complete with a failure to understand that the ultimate goal of the ‘friendships’ was still to gain access to sex. It only made the unions and social interactions more palatable, especially as women started taking a greater place in the workforce. This second push she talks about at the 2:00 mark is total contrived nonsense, a projection of what the female narrative would *like* to have happen, and socially engineer. Reminds me of the phrase ‘If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it.’

Unfortunately men’s sexual urges will not cooperate with this unrealistic demand.

At 3:23 in the video she makes the most preposterous claim i’ve ever heard. That *I* was ‘taught’ that wanting to have sex with a woman is part of being a man?

That’s like saying women are taught to have menstrual cramps. It’s just sheer stupid on it’s face. When i was 11, girls contained cooties. When i was 12, i started noticing curves on girls. By 13 i knew i wanted to do the horizontal mambo #5 with them.

Nobody taught me to want to do that. My body knew it naturally.

For the record.. she’s cute despite her obvious feminist bent and sex poz agenda. I’d bang her.

And here’s what she doesn’t get. (text edited out). If i told her i really liked her and wanted to bang her, and she said no, she is casting a judgement on me. I am not worthy enough to access her most precious resource. Yet i can have the pleasure of watching her audition other suitors for the role she deemed me ineffectual for?

Hardly. I have better things to do than let my ego bath in the 9th circle of hell. Her solution? Acknowledge it and move on? Well, maybe easy for her, with a world of possible suitors ready to climb over each other and step all over each other and stab each other in the back just to have the privilege of being one of the 500 guys she’ll have the honor of rejecting this year. Fat chance for the guy being that lucky. If he was alpha enough to not have a problem picking up girls, then trust me, miss sex poz there would be singing a different tune.

No. For a guy to be successful with women, he has to stay away and remove all reminders of past failures, even if they would want to wear the face of ‘friend’. Those are the worst anchors holding you back.

(text edited out)

1 in 3 would give up sex for food? I call BS

And of course.. i’m right.

The banner headline of this story is about as full of shit as can be. One need only get to the 3rd paragraph to see the fine print:

“…a collaborative effort by TODAY.com and Match.com — 39 per cent of women said they’d choose food over sex, while only 16 per cent of single men would sacrifice sex for food.”

I won’t even get into the 16 percent figure for men. I cannot believe in that statement. They’re either morbidly obese and have given up all hope, gay or have been drinking too much water laced with Bisphenol A.

So let’s look specifically at the female side of the equation. 39%.

THAT’S ALMOST HALF!

4 out of 10 women view sex in such a lackluster way that they would choose to eat a fucking piece of fat inducing chocolate rather than enjoy sex.

I have no clue if this study is a reflection of women across the globe or simply North America. But by god, i have to assume at the moment this disease is confined to the shores of North America which is why the whole notion of expatting to find women who enjoy having sex with men more than eating a tub of Häagen-Dazs is gaining traction.

Not tonight dear.. pass me the Twinkies.

From the article:

Why is sex so easily sacrificed — if only theoretically?

“People often say things like they’d pick money or sleep or food over sex,” sex therapist Ian Kerner tellsTODAY.com. “I think this shows that people take sex for granted, or that they’re not enjoying sex enough to really value it appropriately.”

Perhaps if women actually dated men who wanted to please them vs. just use them for a quick in and out pump n dump, they wouldn’t be so quick to put off sex for an AERO bar to feel the sensation of chocolate bubbles melting rather than the sensation of a mind altering orgasm.

And it gets worse..

Why Platonic is not possible for me

[edit: this was my very first post and the reason behind my start in blogging. thought i’d shove it up to the top with some minor edits just to give it some more views.]

I created this saying after I busted my very last LJBFriendzone.

She was single, I was single.

This is all that matters.

See, I can do platonic IF:

• I am not sexually attracted to you in any way
• I am sexually attracted to  you but you are in a relationship and i’m single. I value and respect commitment and would not mow another mans lawn (and if i could steal her, i could NEVER trust her hypergamous instincts with investment level commitment)
• I am sexually attracted to you but i am in a relationship and you’re single. If i’m committed to a good girl, you could be a stunning knockout that wants to blow me right here right now, and i wouldn’t even flinch. I’m a man of my word and bond. Your pussy won’t affect that.
• We’re both in a relationship.

So you see platonic is possible BUT only under the right circumstances.

But if you are single… and i am sexually attracted to you, you will know it. And in this world, this life, you only get one shot. I don’t do redo’s. That’s akin to begging.

I don’t care if we’ve been friends for 17 years or 17 minutes. If you are single and i am single, and i am attracted to you, most likely i will ask you out. Asking you out is analogous to saying ‘I want to fuck you’. That is the end goal. I wouldn’t be asking you out if i didn’t want to have sex with you. Sure we can negotiate on the where/when/hoiw.. it’s part of the dance.

So here’s the deal. As soon as i finish saying those words, there are 3 possible continuities that develop.

1. You reject me outright with some bullshit like ‘Oh but i only think of you as a friend/brother/emotional tampon’.
2. You ponder it, decide to go for it, but along the way you realize it won’t work for whatever reason and call it off.
3. We end up in my bed and i give you multiple orgasms and all is right with the world. And the next morning.. we’re still friends! Win/Win!

Two of these things is not like the other.. two of these things just don’t belong.
2 of those continuities have a dead end fate. 1 does not. Can you figure which? I’ll give you a hint. It’s not 1 and 2.

See, platonic is a bastard. It involves the fem-centric point of view of fulfilling ONLY the females emotional interests and needs to the exclusion of the males primary impetus for being with a woman he’s sexually attracted to in DENYING his needs. It defies all logic and requires a very large hamster, the kind that has ravenously gorged on Twinkies for years. Watch how the hamsters go wild in this video as they ponder over it.

Game. Set. Match.

So that is why i created this axiom that i have adopted for myself. It helps me feel better when i ultimately cut someone loose. While i’m not sure if it has any basis in evolutionary psychology, it felt right as i sounded it out so i’ll stick with it. If anyone can actually give me evidence to back up this theory, i’ll give you a hero cookie 🙂

“If you are unfortunate enough to be sexually attractive to me, and you rebuke me, you effectively become dead to me as in my mind you become and evolutionary dead end, as in will not bear my children. Even tho i don’t want kids, my brain recognizes the slight for what it is.. my DNA isn’t good enough for you. So yeah… we can’t be friends either.”

The Wisdom of Mike C.

Sometimes the conversations there can bring about a powerful understanding into the discrepancy between the though processes of the sexes.

This one is brought to you by Mike C. at comment 398

Here’s the setup up. The concept of ‘spinning plates’ was brought up by myself and a few others in this thread. Susan and Co. take umbrage at the idea of men working multiple women at the same time until a firm offer of exclusivity comes up by the female. Jimmy gets the ball rolling by asking Susan:

“can you honestly argue that it doesn’t place him in a more advantageous situation than if he were sexually pursuing either girl exclusively from the get go?”

Susan replies:

Of course it does, and he can generally pull it off only by lying by omission. Since you claim that many women don’t mind, why not be up front about his activities and what he is looking for? “Just so you know, you’re not the only person I’m doing this with.” Heck, according to your theory, this should be a DHV.

They have a few back and forth before Jimmy ends on:

@Susan
You seem to be advocating exclusivity before a committed relationship is even established.

followed with

@Susan
Just curious, is it a lie by omission if a girl doesn’t announce her count to a potential bf before he commits to her? After all, that’s information that will help him make an informed decision… Using your standard

It’s at this point where Mike C. jumps in and really lays it all out on the table for all to see with eyes wide open. His ability articulate this succinctly is breathtaking. Enjoy the read, it’s after the jump.

If you view male sexual needs vs. female relationship needs a barter system

… then you will see that there is something inherently wrong the amounts of goods being traded in relation to value.

What makes this image even worse is that for a man, to simply get those two items from a woman without her railing about her place not being in a kitchen or that all you think of and want from her is sex is nigh impossible from today’s independent strong empowered feminist minded woman.

It would be easier to go out into a thunderstorm and dodge rain!

It would be easier to walk barefoot and not touch the ground!

It would be easier to pick fly shit out of pepper… while wearing boxing gloves!

(H/T AVGN)