Posts Tagged ‘double.standards’

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My stance on Fat Shaming

June 10, 2013

A lot has been said about the fat girl who posed with the slim built guy in protest of Abercrobie&Fitch.

I’m going to keep this short.

No one should be made to feel horrible or ashamed for how they look. No one. I don’t shame anyone for being fat in and of itself.

I have a problem with hypocrites tho, those who pretend to take a stand of sorts, which is standing for inequality and doing the easy thing.. not the hard thing.

No one can claim to deign what is and isn’t attractive to another human being. This is the lesson of the manosphere. Attraction just is. You being angry because a guy doesn’t find you sexually appealing because you are fat is no different than you not being attracted to the guy who lives in his moms basement at the age of 35 while playing WoW on Xbox and Dungeons and Dragons on the weekend.

I am saying this because i have never gone out of my way to intentionally harm someone else’s esteem, especially those who know their esteem is already low. It’s like kicking  lame horse.

There was a time when i was kicked. For both being fat, and for being the beta unattractive loser unworthy of a relationship.

So i get it.

I also keep stressing i know many people in real life, who are ‘big’.. who are the nicest people you would meet. Perhaps humility and humble come from adversity, and never having had the silver spoon in the mouth. Just a theory.

But..

abercrombie-and-fitch-the-militant-baker

Here’s my problem with the whole Militant Baker protest.

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Is it Fair?

January 21, 2013

9279954-Scales_270683c

Don’t shoot me, i’m just the messenger…

So i had a back and forth comment session with my friend Audi (the audacious amateur blogger) and it something occurred to me.

I’m conflicted.

See, i’ll share a little secret. I like her (shhhhh)

At it’s core lies this problem. She’s worried about spherian mentality about “The Wall” and “The Number” and natural consequences of actions. Part of my latent beta wants to don the suit of plate mail, climb the white horse and protect her as my conditioning under the the rules of GirlWorld commands me to. And another part of me, that itchy burning area of my rectum where the RedPill currently resides is telling me fuck it.. actions have consequences, take it like a man. Derrrrp.

This is a case of going before the judge and pleading that you didn’t know that pissing into the town square water fountain was a crime because there were no warning signs posted.. to which the judge harrumphs “IGNORANCE OF THE LAW IS NO EXCUSE” and slams the gavel down and chucks a hefty leather-bound book at you.

She has/had the same problem i did some 18 years ago… it’s called Naivete.

na·ive

adjective \nä-ˈēv, nī-\

1: marked by unaffected simplicity :artlessingenuous
2a: deficient in worldly wisdom or informed judgment; especially:credulous
b : not previously subjected to experimentation or a particular experimental situation <made the test with naive rats>;

Is it harsh to be judged and convicted for things done when you were simply following what you thought was the properly laid out doctrine to follow? Yes, yes it is. Especially if the rules you followed were crafted by a society that began an experiment to see if human behavior was indeed a social construct through conditioning and behavioral modification instead of something deeper and more innate… primal. And if it were the latter that was found to be the truth, could leeway be given to avoid the consequences of those actions done under sincere misguidance?

It’s something i wrestle with, because as a decent guy and human being, i wouldn’t want to see what i feel is an obvious good but naive kid who simply followed the path that was allowed for by this current society (a society i do wish to see at the bottom of Davey Jones locker btw) having to accept the consequences and punishment of our now evolved and well informed spherian understanding of a woman’s N and the cruelty of The Wall.

Yet one need only read this (which you probably already have) to realize that i myself, and untold countless millions of others have indeed already paid the loftiest price for being naive. The judges are still at it to this very day with the public trials of NiceGuys™ in the street, listening to the mobs yelling for the Jezebel executioner to throw the level and pull the floor out from under the condemned for their naive nature.

Is it fair that one side is made to suffer full consequences while the other gets a reprieve solely due to gender and timing?

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Fully aware of the exact nature of the proposed sexual activity

January 9, 2013

That’s the language used. This shall become VERY interesting.

I have new stuff coming soon, but i couldn’t let this one pass up. No time to make a detailed post, just my emphasis in bold. The plot thickens…

Link Here

[update:] now that i have a little extra time to devote to this, to any new readers of this post i want them to fixate on this particular comment

“..only gave her consent for protected sex with the intention to avoid conception, the court qualified Hutchinson’s actions as sexual assault.”

and then consider this, this and this after you’ve read the Yahoo post. Comments welcome.

Craig Jaret Hutchinson who poked holes in girlfriend’s condoms loses court appeal

When their relationship started to go sour, Nova Scotian Craig Jaret Hutchinson decided a baby would heal the rift between him and his girlfriend.
There was a slight problem, however. His girlfriend didn’t want to have his child.
So when the Halifax woman learned she was pregnant in September 2006, she was “shocked.” Hutchinson, on the other hand, was thrilled.
He later confessed that he had poked holes in their condoms with a pin in order to intentionally get her pregnant.

Horrified, his girlfriend called the police. She later had an abortion and suffered a uterine infection as a result that had to be treated with antibiotics.
The 42-year-old man was charged with aggravated sexual assault. Though he was acquitted in 2009, the decision was overturned and after a subsequent retrial he was sentenced to 18 months in jail.
Hutchinson appealed the decision, as CBC notes, arguing that the sex was consensual and that his sentence was “harsh and excessive.”
His case went all the way to Nova Scotia’s Court of Appeal, which released a 4-1 majority decision on Thursday to uphold the sentence.
The moral questions involved in this case are clear: Hutchinson’s actions were appalling.
The legal questions, on the other hand, have sparked much debate.
As the National Post reports, Chief Justice Michael MacDonald articulated the majority court decision that the alleged victim must be “fully aware of the exact nature of the proposed sexual activity.”
Under the Canadian Criminal Code, sex without consent is considered assault. Because the woman — identified as N.S. to protect her identity — only gave her consent for protected sex with the intention to avoid conception, the court qualified Hutchinson’s actions as sexual assault.

The Court’s one dissenting voice, Justice David Farrar, expressed concern that this decision would create a “potential slippery slope” for women who stop taking birth control and get pregnant without their partner’s knowledge or consent.
“Expanding criminal liability in this way would represent a dramatic step backwards,” writes Justice Farrar.
However, Justice MacDonald countered that because pregnancy carries far greater consequences for the mother than the father, should the gender roles be reversed, the circumstances would not fit the same definition of assault.
It’s an argument that, while biologically correct, may not fully take into account the significant emotional and financial toll for the unwitting father of a child conceived under duplicitous circumstances.
On the other hand, the idea that men like Hutchinson may think they can legally get away with poking holes in condoms, potentially causing pregnancy or the spread of STDs, is a truly terrifying thought.
Meanwhile, Farrar’s dissenting opinion gives Hutchinson’s lawyer the option to take his case to the Supreme Court. So far no decision has been made in that regard.

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Confessions of a Reformed InCel

November 17, 2012

[UPDATE 4-26-2018]

It’s been almost 4 years since i left this space of the internet. It’s been almost 6 years since i wrote the below post.

A lot changes with time away from the sphere. I’ve lived a normal life, with a great gal in a ‘normal’ family setting, engaging with society, a totally different man that the one 4, 6, 10+ years ago. Had i not taken that journey, a cathartic one no doubt, who knows where i could have ended up. You couldn’t really write a better ending for the journey i took from the mouth of Hell back to normality.

And then Monday happens. April 23, 2018 at 1:24pm. A beautiful, warm sunny day not unlike the kind 9/11 is remembered for.

I want to state this right off the bat for the record. My heart and my sympathies go out to every individual affected by the Van assault mass murder by the person who i will not name. I won’t acknowledge the killer or immortalize him. Not only do i not condone his actions, i condemn them as strongly as i can condemn anything. He is a coward.

At the height of my depression, at the lowest point in my life being incel, i never considered violence against anyone but myself. Even then i realized that ones actions don’t exist in a bubble, and that every action you apply resonates beyond whatever you’re looking at. But for this individual, he crossed into the dangerous territory where his focus was not to look at others as people who have family and friends and coworkers who will be impacted and grieve. All he saw was a society that isolated him, did not care to help him but instead ridiculed him, and decided that since he lost in the game of life.. he was going to drag as many to the bottom with him before he died. Ultimately he even failed at suicide, which is somewhat ironic.. confirming his failure at everything.

I know somewhere on my blog, there are comments by me, denouncing Elliot Rogers. (I should have made a post, and if i didn’t that would be a glaring oversight on my part). While i have the ultimate empathy for true suffering incels, who have gone without the basic and primal human connection one can have with the opposite sex.. i have NO SYMPATHY whatsoever for those who take that pain and decide to unleash it on others. Those innocent people Elliot shot were not the cause of Elliots incelness. Elliots unwillingness to embrace TRP hard truths were the source of his pain. The people that were run down on Monday in Toronto, so very close to home to me and the ones i love, who could easily have been in his bombsights on any given day, were not the cause of this individuals alleged incelness. An unwillingness to try to become better than he was, was the cause of it.

It was their absolute lack of trying to change to be something better. Or maybe worse, they were just broken and irreparable from the start. I try to believe everyone can be saved.. but who knows anymore. When i watched the video’s of Elliot Roger come out, i sat there horrified. In another life, that *might* have ended up being me had i not course corrected. I wondered if the chance could ever occur, was there something myself.. or anyone much more suited like Rollo, could ever have said to snap him out of his delusional angst? You could see it in his eyes on the videos.. this one is too far gone to help. If you ever wanted to see what ‘entitled to womens bodies’ actually looks like, stare at Elliots face. Most incels don’t feel entitled.. they feel like they’ve been left out of the party everyone else is having. Entitled is crashing the party and ruining it for everyone else.

TRP takes many forms. Early on i decided i wanted to take the ‘become the best you that you can be’ mantra version. I didn’t want to ‘game’ for hookups, i wanted to invest in myself, to truly change who i was so i could confidently command the asking price rather than beg for crumbs. Rollo very recently discussed how many come to TRP and complain they wont be able to carry on ‘the act’. He explained how when he applied it and internalized it, it became part of who he was and second nature, and it was no longer an act, it was just him. That’s the part i tried to emulate.. to take the lessons, and apply them and use them until it no longer felt like i’m pretending to be someone i’m not. But you have to try, and make the time and put in the effort. And you have to have realistic expectations to boot. I will never be Ryan Reynolds or Channing Tatum in looks.. but on the range of unattainable beauty standards, and where i started, i hit a happy medium i was proud of. Can i go further? Sure, but thats my call, not societies.

But you still need to put in the work. Even if you can’t reach the ideal, strive for it. The whole concept of ‘you’re perfect just the way you are’ needs to die. Can you imagine how much Elliot might have thought that about himself? Or the van murderer? If you are unhappy, the only person who can do something about that is YOU. No one else. And telling unhappy people that they’re ok as they are is a recipe for disaster.

I still have complete empathy for the incel community, but i want to hope that the ones who reach the TRP message take the right, and not the wrong lessons from this. Become better, knowledge is power, but apply it properly and dont expect a quick fix! Looking at my ancient story below, you will notice that the happy ending does not occur right away, but years later once the core tenets of TRP are internalized and applied. Shorcuts often lead to more anguish in this regard.

As much as this tragedy has personally disturbed me to the core, i am equally troubled by the way some of the media outlets are handling this. While undoubtedly there are many misogynistic incels (whom you still need to reach out to in order to quell the rage), there are equally harmless ones, confused ones, and angry ones who simply learn for the first time they’ve been playing by the wrong set of books. Were we to actually engage with incels in a real fashion, and first acknowledge that YES, it is debilitating, humiliating and emotionally devastating to the individuals who suffer through it.. we need to actually engage with them without judgement of how and why they got there, and realistically work with them in an honest fashion to help them overcome their problems. Chastising them, yelling at them, mischaracterizing them or applying blanket misogyny labels upon them – WILL NOT – i repeat, will not bring them into the open to educate, treat, rehab or reform them. It will drive them further into darkness where you just might start producing more of these emotionally spent, dead eyed, uncaring, lay waste to the world, reproductive losers in the game of life.. dehumanize everyone surrounding them. They go on to become the next one. Their rationalization is so apparent, i don’t understand why no one can see it.

They spend their entire lives isolated, in pain, wondering what about them is so wrong as to never be desired. It’s not obvious to them, otherwise they’d have done something. Or they’ve been enabled by liars who tell them they’re perfect as they are, to just be themselves. And yet, being themselves only incites ridicule from others, taunting, jeers and derision. Once this isolation hits a peak, they no longer see people around them as people, they see them as abusers. Everyone who is having a good time, smiling, laughing, enjoying life, having lives, having sexual relationships, having romance, sharing emotions.. all in front of the face of the one who is told ‘no, not for you, you can’t play with us’. There are some who are ok with this, accept their lot in life, and stay there. There are other who decide to change themselves so they too can join the game. And finally, there are the Elliots and Toronto van murderer who decide that if they can’t enjoy this life like others can, they’re gonna ruin it for the rest of us. That’s it in a nutshell.

My one wish is that this issue is examined without the polarization we see in todays politics of left and right, where each side screams at the other saying ‘you’re wrong’ and nothing happens except a race to the bottom. You can’t expect people to come to you for help when you’re going to demonize them from the outset. That needs to stop. Incels need help. What that help is and how it reaches them is another discussion altogether. But it’s one that needs to happen to keep shit like this from repeating.

I have not enough words of condolence i can give to the innocents who were taken, and the lives of everyone else who will be affected by their loss. This tragedy hit too close to home.

It could have been me. It could have been me in front of that van on any other routine day. It could have been my family, my friends, my coworkers, anyone i love and care about. It is still surreal that this happened at all.

I also shudder to think ‘could it have been me’ inside the van behind the wheel,.. had i not found TRP and changed my life instead of believing the pretty lies of others. Was i ever capable, would enough time in hell for me produce a similar fate? I don’t ever want to know.

I grieve with Toronto for those who were lost, i have to hope it never happens again. Most of all, that will require changing the way we talk about this issue.

[EDIT – Days after Elliot Roger murders: For anyone new coming here from The Daily Dot, Reddit, Ask Men or anywhere else. Once you are finished reading this piece (due to the interest since the Elliot Rogers murders) and you get all your feathers ruffled about the ‘feelings’ section, please head over HERE for understanding the proper context lest you get your panties in a bunch. If you assume the language was written as intent rather than contextualizing what would be required to have women stripped of their natural biological advantage of being noticed solely for the fact they are female – then i can’t help you or you comprehension skills. peace the fuck out]

[ORIGINAL POST BEGINS]

November 17, 2012. enough is enough. i warned y’all it might get depressing. here goes. don’t worry, it ends well. i think.

+++

In honor of my 10,000th view.. i’m going to publish what i consider the hardest post i’ve ever written. But it needs to be written, for i may be an extreme, i know i’m not alone. This isn’t written for the PUA or the Alpha or the Pussy Slayer™. This is written for you, the one without hope..  to know there is hope and you can get better.

Thanks for the hits guys! Snapshot taken 07/09/12 at 2:33 pm after 3 weeks on the interwebz.

[actually no.. i’ve crossed 50k. that’s how long i’ve been holding onto this draft, terrified of letting it go. but i saw a comment today that finally let me pull the trigger.]

It is so Very hard to hit that PUBLISH button.

Writing this post is a source of *shame* for me. It’s been sitting in my drafts for about 2 weeks [edit: 5+ months actually]

But at this point in my life having endured what i have, it does not trouble me putting it out in the sphere. I am sure i am not alone in this and that this post will actually help someone out there. Some of you may relate. Women hopefully may finally understand where my anger and cynicism stems from.

So i’ve decided to unleash it. [about time?]

Firstly, before you continue, please go read THIS POST. [Edit Apr.30,2014: Due to the explosion of traffic from AskMen, I have noticed this post is no longer available, so i will instead invite you to go read THIS POST instead ] No offense to the author, my past wasn’t her fault.. but it struck the usual nerve with me. You need to read posts like this to let the feeling of inequality fill you up.

Welcome back..

When i read it or stories like it, these are the THINGS I FEEL (and yes, i know ‘feelings’ are the domain of a woman)

  • When i hear a woman tell me that she’s gone through a dry spell and not had sex in over X weeks/ months.. i feel like putting my fist through her face.
  • When i hear a woman tell me that she feels ugly or unloved or unwanted because her partner hasn’t touched her in over 6 months, i feel like laughing loudly 3 inches from her face.
  • When i hear a woman tell me that she just picked up a random guy for a night of fun because she was lonely, i feel like i’m glad i don’t own a gun.
  • When i hear a woman tell me that i shouldn’t feel bad about having gone without for so long, after all it’s only just sex, i feel like disfiguring her face with a scalpel.

Nature’s cruel joke and cosmic irony in one. I as a man, biologically driven365 days a year to ejaculate and produce sperm as often as possible, and having the drive and desire to want it every waning moment, who is villified for this natural urge and made to feel ashamed of my sexuality, control it and subdue it to conform to the feminine imperative… have to listen to women, who in their solipsism cannot fathom the ordeal of what i’m about to write about, women who biologically ovulate and desire sex rather infrequently compared to men, talk about, no celebrate their sexuality, their urges and desires.. and lament their short dry spells as if the world were coming to an end. They can never understand what a power differential there is in these urges.

Women can say they love sex just as much as men. I would call BS. Until there is a glut of male prostitutes, male escorts, male rub n tugs for female patrons, a demand for male sex workers and strippers i’ll say nay. Unless they’re all having alpha sex on the side perhaps? Or will touching themselves to 50 shades suffice? At least mommy porn is culturally acceptable. Women DO NOT need sex like men do.. otherwise the sphere would not exist.

Anyways.. back to my pitiful former life.

I have no pictures of myself from a time period stretching from high school to my late 20’s, save for some randoms others might have taken of me. I have no memories or recollections of my time in high school. I have no stories of parties, girlfriends or wild flings. It’s a time period i wiped from my mind, much like PTSD. The only way i can recall it is if i sit down and think really hard about it. I rarely do because i don’t like feeling like shit for the hell of it.

I was that beta/omega/zeta. I let myself get LJBF‘ed on multiple occasions being that ‘nice guy’ that male hating cunt Amanda Marcotte despises. I  played by the rules as handed down to me by the feminine authorities on what women would look for and appreciate in a man. I was asked to believe what they said, not what they did. ‘Just be yourself‘ (your nice beta supplicating self) was the golden code.

So here it is… my Incel Hell.

This is where you will stay for the next 12 years. Enjoy your stay.

<deep breath>

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On Cheating

October 23, 2012

Super quick post.

Here’s a Shine article called 12 Surprising Facts About Cheating [link]

I’m only going to address a few of these very quickly and let you guys ponder the rest. Let me say that i do not endorse cheating in any way shape or form, it’s for cowards. End it and move on.

Having said that.. let me tackle a few of these 12 points.

Fact #1: Most men are still in love with their wives when they cheat.

Who knew? Doug1 was right when he long made the contention on HUS that when a man seeks out another woman, he can still be in love with the wife/s.o. and is just having sex for the sake of sex (slaking lust), not for emotional bonding, partnership, intimacy or pair bonding of any kind. Women are unable to do so. When a woman cheats, she is firmly DONE with the husband, in her mind, heart and soul. Push casual sex while single aside for a moment, when a woman has sex outside of her committed relationship with a man, that poor shlep will NEVER be number #1 in her eyes ever again. She may even still have some feelings for him, but it is doomed from that moment onward.

My friend who consoled me after my marriage ended told me:

“Men have many rooms in their heart which can be occupied by many women at the same time, but only one gets to live in the penthouse with you. Women only have 1 room in their heart, and if they find someone else to occupy it, your shit is out in the streets and you are never getting back in.

This corroborates all my anecdotal experiences.

Next we have a 3 part answer to one question really..

Fact #7: A wife often knows her husband’s cheating.
Fact #8: A couple will never work it out when the husband is in the midst of an affair.
Fact #9: Affairs can often fix a marriage.

This one should be self evident to anyone who lives in the sphere AND understand that this only applies to ALPHA men. Do you think any of these ‘facts’ would be raised if the man were a beta shmuck? Hell no. If poor lonely Beta getting sex only once a year accidentally found game or actually hit it off enough with someone to have an affair with, none of this would apply. He’d be served divorce papers faster than the Flash. A wife will only know of her husbands cheating (and tolerate it) if he is supremely alpha and she can accept the harem. They will never work it out whilst he is having the affair, but she is the one who will actively try and ‘make it work’. And an affair can ONLY fix a marriage if the man has options to leave and has used the affair as as the ultimate dread “look what i can do” tactic to keep a woman in line.

If he was beta, he’d be reading a notice on the front door with the locks changed to his house and a warrant out for his arrest for ‘abuse’.

Fact #12: The wife’s not to blame if her husband cheats on her.

Very true. As i said i don’t approve of cheating and would rather honesty prevail. Just terminate the relationship and move on. However, this one holds a key phrase in here that reminds me very much of what Dalrock has been musing about often as of late. Here’s the passage:

“Realize this: If your husband is unfaithful, it’s not your fault, no matter what people say. “When a man cheats, he’s making a conscious choice to do it,” says Dr. Brosh. “The idea of being pushed into the arms of another woman is an expression, not a reality.

The next time i read about a poor Christian (or secular) woman being ‘driven’ into the arms of another man for him failing to live up to some romantasized unrealistic and unreachable romcom romance drama flaming heart-throb sweep her off her feet continual courtship dancing former carousel riding saved slut cum wife…

 

… shoot me.

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Winning a Medal at the Special Olympics… for participation.

September 20, 2012

LOL.

This video is priceless and absolutely worth a single solitary post unto itself.

(H/T to A♠ with his comment over at The Woman and the Dragon)

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Remain friends while sexually attracted? The debate continues.

August 11, 2012

Firstly read this if you haven’t yet.

[LINK]

I just caught this video over at another blog. In the interest of trying to get as many voices on this as possible I’m putting the video here and hoping you comment on it, since the blogger who put this video up really want’s to know your thoughts. [come on you lurkers, decloak dammit] I’ve decided to put it here rather than reblog her page or send the manosphere there because i don’t want it to look like im sending attack dogs her way. She’s really curious, appears inquisitive and willing to listen. Let’s try to keep a modicum of respect here, but whatever comments you want to direct towards the video itself.. let loose.

Here’s the video:

I find it interesting that she uses actual clips from the video i put up in my platonic post, and seems to entirely be dismissive of the comments made by the men in the video. It appears she seems to just want to wish her vision of the world into existence. I feel a Picard meme coming on.

Here is the original comment I made. I’m hoping others have much more to add than what i’ve put down. Whatever your views, pro or con, i’d love to hear them as i’m sure she would to.

M3 says:

Interesting how far her delusion has taken her.

With regard to the ‘a history of separation’ part of the video at 1:14
A great relevant post to be read before trudging further
http://dalrock.wordpress.com/2012/06/08/the-boyfriend-invention/

at 1:35 she brings up the feminists asking the question ‘why cant we be friends’ (sung while strumming a ukulele).. complete with a failure to understand that the ultimate goal of the ‘friendships’ was still to gain access to sex. It only made the unions and social interactions more palatable, especially as women started taking a greater place in the workforce. This second push she talks about at the 2:00 mark is total contrived nonsense, a projection of what the female narrative would *like* to have happen, and socially engineer. Reminds me of the phrase ‘If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it.’

Unfortunately men’s sexual urges will not cooperate with this unrealistic demand.

At 3:23 in the video she makes the most preposterous claim i’ve ever heard. That *I* was ‘taught’ that wanting to have sex with a woman is part of being a man?

That’s like saying women are taught to have menstrual cramps. It’s just sheer stupid on it’s face. When i was 11, girls contained cooties. When i was 12, i started noticing curves on girls. By 13 i knew i wanted to do the horizontal mambo #5 with them.

Nobody taught me to want to do that. My body knew it naturally.

For the record.. she’s cute despite her obvious feminist bent and sex poz agenda. I’d bang her.

And here’s what she doesn’t get. (text edited out). If i told her i really liked her and wanted to bang her, and she said no, she is casting a judgement on me. I am not worthy enough to access her most precious resource. Yet i can have the pleasure of watching her audition other suitors for the role she deemed me ineffectual for?

Hardly. I have better things to do than let my ego bath in the 9th circle of hell. Her solution? Acknowledge it and move on? Well, maybe easy for her, with a world of possible suitors ready to climb over each other and step all over each other and stab each other in the back just to have the privilege of being one of the 500 guys she’ll have the honor of rejecting this year. Fat chance for the guy being that lucky. If he was alpha enough to not have a problem picking up girls, then trust me, miss sex poz there would be singing a different tune.

No. For a guy to be successful with women, he has to stay away and remove all reminders of past failures, even if they would want to wear the face of ‘friend’. Those are the worst anchors holding you back.

(text edited out)

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