Archive for the ‘M3 Misc’ Category

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An apology of sorts.. and other stuff that happened yesterday…

May 1, 2014

Firstly the apology, of sorts.

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During my post about my brothers passing without me upholding my word to him.. i wrote this into the post:

In a way I view the redpill to the blue masses as atheism to theism.”

This may have pushed some buttons, as John Doe was quick to point out:

Yeah, I have a problem with you comparing Christians to blue pillers while claiming atheists are red pillers.”

You can read his full comment here. What i wrote wasn’t meant to be an attack on Christians, but simply how i see things from my perspective as an Atheist. He has his own view which he qualified in his comment as well. Nevertheless, my point still stands. Had John Doe been born in Saudi Arabia to Muslim parents.. his faith in God would be nil, and he would be here extolling the virtues of Allah instead. My point was that only by sheer luck of who you are born to and where dictates your odds of believing in ‘faith’.  He continues:

Red pill is about truth, observing truth, not falling for a line of crap. Seeing how intricate life is, how mathematical the universe is, how it is run by a set of laws that are irreversible, makes me think how could any person be so blind as to think this all came about by chance, that life somehow evolved from non-life. How could anybody be so stupid, so blind? How could anybody be so stupid about women, too? I once was blind, but now I see. About women, and about Christ.

The red pill is indeed about observing truth, which is why Heartiste is always extolling the virtues of ❤ SCIENCE ❤ as he beats feminists over the head with OBSERVABLE, REPRODUCIBLE and VERIFIABLE studies and results in the physical realm of nature, biology and psychology. Everything he writes works right up until he talks about Christ, and as such implied, God. As an Atheist the burden is not on me to prove or disprove the existence of God or the powers of Christ entity any more so than i would be required to do the same for the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy. I cannot say that God doesn’t exist. Tho i can say there is no evidence great enough to show that i should surrender myself to the edicts of any particular religious God either. I’m a Dawkins atheist.. which is really a 9.5 out of 10 agnostic. I can’t claim to know God doesn’t exist.. but the evidence points that he doesn’t.

Here’s a simple test. I swear at God at least once a day. I call him my choice vulgarity of the day which means i’m using both a curse word AND the Lord’s name in vain. 2 strikes just to make sure for full effect. To this day i have not been hit by lightning, burst into flame, seen my family struck down by a flash flood or simply drop dead of simultaneous heart attacks. I am in fairly good standing health and moderately well off. At no point in the last few years that i’ve been doing this has there been a wrath or ruin or plague visited upon my city or my home. No floods. No pestilence. No famine. No mass die off of first born sons anywhere in my vicinity.

Well it appears i cannot reproduce the effects that led to this, this or this.. so the scientific method may not apply as it seems God is touchy about when he decides to summon suffering upon the human race but for the actions of a minor few.

The burden lies on you to show he exists, that your religion is the correct religion (out of all, including the 5,000+ versions of Christianity alone – I’M LOOKING AT YOU WESTBORO BAPTIST, and Mormons too!) and that you have evidence that would survive a court of law to prove his existence. Video evidence of him descending from the heavens and speaking to thousands at Madison Square Gardens is a good start. A 2,000+ year old ‘he said she said’ just doesn’t cut it for me.

Does God listen to prayers? Does he answer them? Read the rest of this entry ?

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A Regret I Can Never Atone For

April 11, 2014

Light

It is here in that moment that my Atheism is finally put to the test. Put on trial. I’m staring at the light, directly above the ambulance. Here and now, if there ever was a moment to have a spiritual revelation or reevaluation of religion, this was the time. I was ready to cast my nonbelief aside. I was desperate for it. I wanted to see a hint, a sign, a glimmer.. a glimpse – anything. I really wanted to be wrong in that moment. I was ready to grab onto anything, but i needed to see it. In this, my darkest hour.. i was looking for a miracle and proof that this wasn’t the end. I was looking for hope to atone.

A few hours earlier, April 10, 2008

I look up the staircase and see my bother sitting beside his computer and yell up to him “I’ll be back before 9.. we’ll get in a couple rounds of Hold’m when i get back. You know how much i love taking your funny money!”

Hrah hrah hrah, he snarked. My brother was great at Texas Holdem. I sucked. He knew it and i knew it. I was full of false bravado and not much else. He had been looking forward to this since i had been kept busy during the week working overtime for the struggling company i was working for. The 2008 economic collapse had not yet kicked in.. but i was already a victim of it’s red flags. And friends rarely dropped by to see him, tho i think it was at his request. He didn’t want people to see him as a cancer patient, he wanted people to see him when he was cured and all big bad and sexy.

With my pledge set, i took my fiance’s hand and we left for the dinner party she had booked us for.

As far as dinner parties go, this one wasn’t bad. I knew the hosts as friends, not simply acquaintances of my fiance. That being said, i’m not a fan of dinner parties at all. Call it a vestige of my introversion. I can suffer them with a smile, but i suffer nonetheless. I dull the pain with booze. Suffice it to say, i really didn’t want to be here tonight, i really wanted to be playing poker with my brother. But i had already promised my fiance that we would go do this, even tho it was brought up last minute. You know.. me being a nice guy and all, wanted to make sure i carried a good record of ‘Happy wife, happy life” into the marriage before it started.

We arrived at the destination. I finish parking my car in the school parking lot across the street from my friends place. Just before i get out of the car, my fiance brings up my brother. Specifically the very likely chance or possibility that he might end up either to sick to attend, or even die before the wedding. I simply look down at my feet and acknowledge that reality, tho it’s not something i wanted to dwell. He’d make it.

We enter the place, shoot the shit, chat it up while our host grabbed dinner. We ate. The women talked and me and my friend ended up looking over his computer. He always managed to get virus’s or issues on his laptop and me being the resident geek squad meant every dinner invite always carried the ulterior motive of tech support. A quick download of Malware Bytes later, he was on his way to recovery.

Evening was upon us and i gazed at my watch. “HOLY SHIT” i said in my head.. the time was 8:30. The highway wouldn’t be busy at this time but it was still a good 20 minutes from my mothers. My fiance was actively talking about something or other with my friends wife.

“10 minutes” i said in my head. I sat on the couch and looked at my watch again. “10 minutes and you’ll be off”.

Read the rest of this entry ?

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Revenge Porn is Wrong – ABR is Not!

February 2, 2014

Just a quick post.  (quick by my standards anyways..)

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I’m going to break ranks with a lot of folks in the sphere but whatever.. it’s how i roll.

First read this.

Victims Of ‘Revenge Porn’ Open Up On Reddit About How It Impacted Their Lives

I know a lot of people within our little community are against criminalization of it.. i am not one of them.

I happen to agree with it.

You see, I am a libertarian first and foremost. I value privacy and trust.

I happen to agree with the punishment aspect… consensual intimate affairs should not become dirty laundry to use as a weapon.
Being filmed while having sex that is not meant for public consumption, only private viewing between the two participants means there is an unwritten rule. It is merely for the two of you to enjoy and share with each other. It takes a hell of a lot of trust and enhances intimacy by leaps and bounds! It’s a trust that should not be violated. EVER.
Some obvious disclaimers:
  • only subject yourself to this activity within the confines of a trusting monogamous relationship between mature people
  • DO NOT start sexting and sending xxx videos to the guy you hooked up with just days ago
  • DO NOT start making porn with stupid horny teens who act on emotion rather than rationality
  • etc..

There is only ONE time i will accept the idea of revenge porn, and it goes hand in hand with the acronym ABR, What is ABR?

Read the rest of this entry ?

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Merry Christmas

December 25, 2013

Had a post about Atheism i was going to punch out, but since it’s Christmas, i thought i’d leave it for another day.

Today it was snowing this morning. Just as Christmas should. Although each year without my brother at the table gets a little more sombre and the joy of the holiday grows lesser still, i still reflect and appreciate the family i still have and try to enjoy the time i still have with them before life starts taking more away from me.

So with the spirit of the season in mind..

1. Stay safe all who are/were affected by the ice storm. I’m lucky i got to weather it at my parents place who only lost power for a few hours. There are many still out there who are still without power.

2a. With the exception of one woman, all the workers I have seen from the city of Toronto, Toronto hydro, Hydro 1 and clean up crews have been men. It is not me out there, but it is MEN out there, restoring power and civilization. The end of men? I think not you capricious cow Hanah Rosin. Every woman in this city should bear witness to who suffers the elements to keep all our collective ass’s comfortable. I never take the work of my fellow man for granted every time i flick a light switch.

2b. A group of 42 hydro workers from Manitoba gave up their Christmas with their families to come help restore power in Ontario. Respect. It’s earned, not given. My respect, they have it.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/manitoba-hydro-workers-head-to-ice-ravaged-toronto-1.2475491

3. I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. No seasons greetings bullshit. This season belongs to Christians and their belief in Christ’s birth. I would not wish seasons greetings to Jews on Hanukkah or seasons greetings to Muslims on Ramadan. I don’t have to believe, but I don’t have to usurp either. Coming from Polish background, Roman Catholicism is ingrained in the culture. I broke bread with my parents. I did not spontaneously combust.

I’m an Atheist, i do not believe in God or Jesus. And like i said, i got a follow up post coming soon to detail much of what i have to deal with, but not today.

Today is your day. Enjoy it. Be safe.

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Attaining Respect in a Man’s World

December 9, 2013

Really quick post.

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Today’s Google Doodle is of the esteemed Grace Hopper.

My ego is not so fragile that i cannot point out when a woman does great things in the field of men and outperforms me. She had a gift and utilized it to it’s fullest potential. I cannot take offense at it any more than i could take offense at Mario Lemieux being able to score more goals than me in the NHL if in some alternate reality i could have made the NHL.

She earned the respect and admiration of her peers not by being a loud mouthed pushy bossy bitch, but by actually being adept in her field and performing at the same level or greater than her male colleagues.

I tried computer programming. It bored the be-jesus out of me. By all rights, Grace surpassed me and many other men by leaps and bounds in terms of knowledge and determination to apply it. She earns not only my respect, but admiration for doing things i cannot, and for working as hard as she did to make it into the Navy.

Just because one can do it, does not mean all are capable of the same.

What i take away from this story is that when women come along that truly want to play in a man’s world, and do so because they absolutely want to (not told to), because they have the skill and ability (not the handicap/affirmative action), and because they want to serve their fellow man/humanity (instead of their own short sighted, short term interest of showing up men), then those women will get the respect and accolades deserving of as any man would.

Grace was a rarity. I honor her achievement and females like her because they worked hard and had unique gifts they shared for the betterment of society like most men typically do. Feminists like to pretend that men do not give credit to women, and this is bullshit. We do give credit and praise when a woman competes on a man’s level and achieves based on merit. Work like a man, achieve like a man, earn respect like a man, you will be appreciated like a man.

No favoritism. No exemptions. No lowering of standards. No affirmative action. No quotas. No female privilege.

It’s just that it’s not very common that gifted women like Grace come around, and it’s disingenuous to pretend that every woman wants to/can be like her.

She was an outlier ( are you paying attention Sophia? 😛 ) and harbored a gift in math. Most woman are not/do not. The statistics bear this out time and again. As the lovely Caroline argued in her post and her comment section HERE, women simply do not flock to these fields because more often than not, it simply DOES. NOT. APPEAL. TO. THEM.

Why?

Because they simply aren’t wired that way.

Women pushed into STEM fields abandon them quickly, not because of patriarchy.. but because it simply goes against their evolved nature. This isn’t a conspiracy, it’s reality. The delightful oddballs are the ones that thrive within a “man’s world”. We shouldn’t feel compelled to drive all women into these fields to ‘equalize’ the numbers. It would be folly to try. Only those that naturally want to should attempt it.

Grace, I commend you and your accomplishments and i recognize you for the outlier that you were.

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Related: What happens to companies when you let womyn in based not on ability but on quota. What happens when you give spots to unqualified ‘equality outcome’ whores.

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The Good that Women Can Do

November 5, 2013

My last few posts have been about goody goody girl and relationship stuff. I’m about to go back into the darker, harder hitting stuff about vapid woman, sluts, retarded feminists and entitled attitudes. So before i start launching the invective i thought i’d do a send off for all the great things that women can be and are capable of.

This is mainly a Thank You page to all the women who affect my life in a positive way whether they know it or not.

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To the 2 paramedic EMT’s, both women, who tended to me while i was scaring the hell out of my workout partner with my heart rate dropping to danger territory syncope episode. Very professional, and pleasant. I immensely enjoyed having some mildly flirtatious moments with the one who took my blood sugar reading. Cute latina type. Even tho she had seen me crash from a BP of 75 down to 30 in a manner of a few seconds during my episode, i played the whole incident off as nothing more than a mild annoyance to me without a hint of danger. Like the black knight saying losing all 4 appendages was a mere flesh wound.

Read the rest of this entry ?

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Thank You

October 25, 2013

Style: "Mad Men" January Jones (Betty Draper) and Don Draper (Jon Hamm)(apologies in advance, a lot of rambling and repeating in this post. it’s a poor writing effort but i just wanted to put this out there anyways. i’m too tired to play copy editor tonight. cheers)

I hear it often now, or some variation of it.

I hear it now where i once did not.

I hear it coming from the mouths of women. All women.

It used to only come from Asian women (who seem to naturally retain their femininity and deference, at least towards white men), and the elderly (who grew up in a time of chivalry).. but now it comes from  all women.

Young, old, thin, thick, blonde, brunette, redhead, hot, fugly, liberal, conservative. Maybe even feminists?

Doesn’t matter. They’re all saying it to me when i hold it open.

The door.

Yes folks, i still end up holding doors for ladies. Always have, always will. Le sigh..

So i have to ask “What’s changed?”

Why am i now getting thank you’s left right and center for an action that hasn’t changed one iota. The action of holding a door open for a woman?

One of two things.

  1. Either the women have changed in reflection to a society that seems to be further distancing itself from the pollution that is feminism and attempting to regain/retain chivalry because it is scared that feminism has driven men to the brink of abandoning all women
  2. Or i have changed, and women are not reacting to the action itself, but in how the action is performed.. and by whom.

The first may be a plausible scenario, but would still not explain the 100% increase in pleasant responses i have received. Such a percentile change would mean that this sea change has already taken place. We all know that isn’t the case, and the statistical odds of me running into woman after woman like this would be astronomical.

So i must conclude that a majority of it is they are responding to ME as the variable that changed in the equation.

Now.. i’m not saying i’m James fucking Bond, i’m not. I would never classify myself as an ‘alpha’. More like a reformed beta, gone into greater Beta. But those moments when i nail confidence down and am truly feeling it.. you’d be hard pressed to distinguish.

And it kind of makes sense to me now, when i think of who i was back then.. and who i am now. My firm belief is women of all stripes, colors, creeds and ideologies will be receptive to ‘MEN’ who open doors for them if they are attracted enough to them ever so briefly to consider what a possible tryst might be like. Experience tells me that women certainly abhor the idea of being inseminated with unfit and unworthy semen, so they would hiss upon undesirable men who might seek to curry favor by being chivalrous in the hopes of romantic persuasion.

When i was undesirable.. most women would find ways to bend space and time in an effort to avoid acknowledging my gesture.

Today, especially when wearing my tank-tops during the summer, women couldn’t curtsy and say Thank You fast enough, their smiles betraying their thoughts. The second glance they’d shoot me farther away granted me the same feeling as a scientist when his theory pans out correctly.

Simply from the way and manner in which i confidently open a door.

And it is without reservation that all aspects of Game helped me get here. From my initial Dark Triad game which got me out of my nightmare, to learning about Game and attraction, along with Inner Game and fixing the core. Every facet of game helped.

I’ve tracked a lot of my incoming traffic, i like to see who’s talking about me and what i’m adding to the discussion. I have seen my name alot on a lot of forums and so forth. I do recall one person saying that they liked what i wrote but that i still used too much PUA crap in my writing. They don’t like the concept of ‘pretending to be someone you’re not‘ or ‘faking it till you make it‘. What they’re actually saying tho is that they are scared of working on changing themselves for the better and instead should simply be accepted as they are.

(Fat acceptance anyone?)

To each their own, i won’t dictate to any man how they wish to live. I only show my own example from where i started – to where i’ve ended up as an example for others to explore if they so choose. They think that people who peddle game are parasites taking advantage of the vulnerable.

Suffice it to say, you can see i offer no books, courses or any monetary sink holes for people to fall into. While i will agree that there is a group of people who sell the downtrodden unreasonable hopes of landing HB9’s with 3 simple questions that will make her want to fuck you, and the idea that you can turn a love shy, introverted, and socially awkward wallflower into a Mac Daddy over the course of a weekend seminar is selling snake oil at it’s finest.. it doesn’t invalidate the central tenets of Game philosophy, Evo Psych and attraction triggers evolved from our cavemen ancestors. Or as Private Man says – Biology Always Wins.

I think what rubs some of these guys the wrong way (and i will concur) is that alot of the salesmen are duplicitous charlatans who start off from a dubious premise. I’ll use Paul Janka as an example. This guy sells ‘The Attraction Formula’.. and for what it’s worth, i read it. I read it 3 weeks after breaking up with my exwife. I downloaded it from das Pirate Bay so i didn’t contribute to the pool of unfortunate men funding him. The book is almost a collection of core game rules that you could end up figuring out for yourself if you spent enough time bloghopping in the sphere. The reason i pick on Paul is because he starts his sales pitch with a doozy (and i’m paraphrasing because i can’t recall it) that sounds something like this:

Look at me, i’m not the most attractive, or good looking guy out there. I’m Joe Average. But with my system, you can get laid with many different women, one for every day of the week!

  • Full head of hair – check
  • 5 oclock shadow – check
  • masculine jawline – check
  • dark full eyebrows – check
  • alpha features and facial tone – check
  • perfect teeth – check
  • looks great in a suit – check

Yes. Joe Average indeed.

 

I do not see him as having trouble with woman since he has his foot half way through the door and many women will be pleased to be approached by him. It’s his ball to fumble afterwords but he has ‘Game’ built into his face.

I’ll bet most of his students do not. There are some guys who will never be able to pull HB9’s no matter what. Like attracts like and +/- a point or two is the basic operating trend.

So yes, the detractors of game have a point i might concede in that some people who peddle game are really selling false hopes in order to monetize on the misfortunes of the beta to omega class. I’ll grant that.

I’m not one of them. I’m not peddling anything other than a collection of my stories and my transformation (and the odd rant or two about rape/sluts/frivorces/mens rights/mgtow advice/yadayada) nothing more.

So it hurts when people say that learning game is bogus, or it sucks that you have to act or pretend, and they feel like they’d be tired sooner or later having to keep up the facade.

When you fulfill your transformation, there is no facade.. there is only you.

It is not the spoon that bends, only your mind.

I can surely assure them and assuage their feelings that i am neither pretending to be someone else or faking anything. I am not ‘play acting’. I am the very same person who i was 20 years ago, in mind and spirit. The only thing that changed is how i present myself to the world.

Through my physical appearance, to the better fitting and fashionable clothes, to the grooming (and accepted loss of hair gone cue ball, embracing instead of ashamin’), to fixing my teeth, and learning both what women find attractive (and being able to fit in without much fuss), and knowing what they find unattractive (and knowing when and by how much to taper off the bad beta), and in knowing when not to partake in any drama or fuss (mgtow, knowing my objective real value, treating myself as the prize, no pussy pedestal, easy dismissal of entitled brats/whores).

Game isn’t all smoke and mirrors, fakery, pimp hats and feather boa’s. Those who are internally confident and sure of themselves can use game as a supplement and make it a  part of who they are, and it doesn’t come off as awkward, unnatural or pathetic. And you don’t get internally confident just by repeating pickup lines like a parrot. You can’t fake it for long, if at all. Once you fix the core, it’s not faking.

There’s no fakery when you can carry on a conversation with a women and lace it with sexual tension and innuendo, and hold eye contact throughout, whereas before you wouldn’t be able to say anything sexually charged without blushing and averting her eyes like a sheepish shy omega.

Those who dismiss game, are simply dismissing learning and mastering the ability to have control over ones actions. You can look at game as a means to learn shortcuts to attraction, but without the inner confidence of actually knowing it, you end up looking like a punk who writes cheques his body can’t cash. I look at game more as a means to help you prevent your beta/gamma unattractive traits from coming to the surface and letting ‘the real you’ shine through.

As i go through life now, i don’t think.. i just do. I’m not acting, I am ME. Inner game allowed me to become the best me possible. Game itself taught me how to curb my unattractive traits so that i only present the very best me possible at all times.

When i’m walking down the street with my head held high, walking tall, cock leading me.. i’m not acting. It is what i have become. 5 years ago i was a slouching, foot dragging, shoulders/head in front of cock beta.

When i’m telling a joke, i smile, hold the gaze, laugh and keep my head face to face with my recipient. I do not stutter over my words, mess up punch lines, giggle throughout the joke, snort, or sheepishly look at the floor while in the company of others.

When i’m speaking with people, i’m cognoscente of how i speak, modulating the inflections of my voice, maintaining control, holding my frame and using gestures only when required. I speak like i walk, poised and with purpose. I am thinking about what i am going to say before i say it. What i don’t do is ramble, get stuck on ‘uhhh’s, let my voice enter tonal ranges of a prepubescent teenager, or flail my arms around like an airline ground traffic controller hopped up on speed and coke.

And yes, even something as simple as opening a door. I calculate in advance whether to pick up my pace to make it to the door in time, smoothly and effortlessly, or slow down if i feel i’m too far away. I open the door in one fluid motion and position myself in front of the door with ease, and attain eye contact, and smile. I do not run at a sprint towards the door, i do not make it obvious it was planned, i do not struggle with the door or flail like a flag in the wind. I don’t behave submissively at the door or look at the floor. I don’t park my ass behind the door.

And all this happens now without me consciously even thinking about it. There are moments where i falter or trip, but i recover so much quicker and easier as well.

These changes didn’t happen overnight, and it wasn’t parlor tricks or a wearing eye makeup and pretending to be a pirate.

These were life changes to make me better, while retaining the essence of who i was. I didn’t change, but what i presented to the world did!

Anyone who says that learning Game is basically acting or pretending to be someone you’re not simply hasn’t grasped how to effectively use it, and how to actualize their full potential.

I am still the exact same person i was 20 years ago. I am a geek. I love Transformers. I would play Dungeons and Dragons if i had the time and friends. I love technology. None of that has changed. But you would never imagine the night and day difference between me then and me now if you saw me next to my 20 year old beta shmuck self. And now that it has become a part of me and who i am, (and because i chose well in terms of who i partnered up with) it is not a chore, not a burden, not some terrible fate that i must continue to ‘pretend’ or ‘act’ or ‘behave’ in some manner that i will eventually get tired of or slip up and revert to beta. Having fully embraced being masculine.. it is not a chore, rather it is something i welcome and enjoy being. I stood in the frame and by golly… i kinda fucking like it here!

What has changed is how i present myself. I don’t make Transformers or video games the epicenter of my life like 20 years ago I’m not the bashful non-confident nerd of 15 years ago. I’m not the quiet meek voice of 10 years ago. I’m not the posture of a doormat i was 5 years ago. . everything about who i am now is having put into practice reclaiming my masculinity, and working hard to create real value in myself so my confidence in myself is also real and not just ‘acting’ or a parlor trick.

I simply upped my Game.