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Thank You

October 25, 2013

Style: "Mad Men" January Jones (Betty Draper) and Don Draper (Jon Hamm)(apologies in advance, a lot of rambling and repeating in this post. it’s a poor writing effort but i just wanted to put this out there anyways. i’m too tired to play copy editor tonight. cheers)

I hear it often now, or some variation of it.

I hear it now where i once did not.

I hear it coming from the mouths of women. All women.

It used to only come from Asian women (who seem to naturally retain their femininity and deference, at least towards white men), and the elderly (who grew up in a time of chivalry).. but now it comes from  all women.

Young, old, thin, thick, blonde, brunette, redhead, hot, fugly, liberal, conservative. Maybe even feminists?

Doesn’t matter. They’re all saying it to me when i hold it open.

The door.

Yes folks, i still end up holding doors for ladies. Always have, always will. Le sigh..

So i have to ask “What’s changed?”

Why am i now getting thank you’s left right and center for an action that hasn’t changed one iota. The action of holding a door open for a woman?

One of two things.

  1. Either the women have changed in reflection to a society that seems to be further distancing itself from the pollution that is feminism and attempting to regain/retain chivalry because it is scared that feminism has driven men to the brink of abandoning all women
  2. Or i have changed, and women are not reacting to the action itself, but in how the action is performed.. and by whom.

The first may be a plausible scenario, but would still not explain the 100% increase in pleasant responses i have received. Such a percentile change would mean that this sea change has already taken place. We all know that isn’t the case, and the statistical odds of me running into woman after woman like this would be astronomical.

So i must conclude that a majority of it is they are responding to ME as the variable that changed in the equation.

Now.. i’m not saying i’m James fucking Bond, i’m not. I would never classify myself as an ‘alpha’. More like a reformed beta, gone into greater Beta. But those moments when i nail confidence down and am truly feeling it.. you’d be hard pressed to distinguish.

And it kind of makes sense to me now, when i think of who i was back then.. and who i am now. My firm belief is women of all stripes, colors, creeds and ideologies will be receptive to ‘MEN’ who open doors for them if they are attracted enough to them ever so briefly to consider what a possible tryst might be like. Experience tells me that women certainly abhor the idea of being inseminated with unfit and unworthy semen, so they would hiss upon undesirable men who might seek to curry favor by being chivalrous in the hopes of romantic persuasion.

When i was undesirable.. most women would find ways to bend space and time in an effort to avoid acknowledging my gesture.

Today, especially when wearing my tank-tops during the summer, women couldn’t curtsy and say Thank You fast enough, their smiles betraying their thoughts. The second glance they’d shoot me farther away granted me the same feeling as a scientist when his theory pans out correctly.

Simply from the way and manner in which i confidently open a door.

And it is without reservation that all aspects of Game helped me get here. From my initial Dark Triad game which got me out of my nightmare, to learning about Game and attraction, along with Inner Game and fixing the core. Every facet of game helped.

I’ve tracked a lot of my incoming traffic, i like to see who’s talking about me and what i’m adding to the discussion. I have seen my name alot on a lot of forums and so forth. I do recall one person saying that they liked what i wrote but that i still used too much PUA crap in my writing. They don’t like the concept of ‘pretending to be someone you’re not‘ or ‘faking it till you make it‘. What they’re actually saying tho is that they are scared of working on changing themselves for the better and instead should simply be accepted as they are.

(Fat acceptance anyone?)

To each their own, i won’t dictate to any man how they wish to live. I only show my own example from where i started – to where i’ve ended up as an example for others to explore if they so choose. They think that people who peddle game are parasites taking advantage of the vulnerable.

Suffice it to say, you can see i offer no books, courses or any monetary sink holes for people to fall into. While i will agree that there is a group of people who sell the downtrodden unreasonable hopes of landing HB9’s with 3 simple questions that will make her want to fuck you, and the idea that you can turn a love shy, introverted, and socially awkward wallflower into a Mac Daddy over the course of a weekend seminar is selling snake oil at it’s finest.. it doesn’t invalidate the central tenets of Game philosophy, Evo Psych and attraction triggers evolved from our cavemen ancestors. Or as Private Man says – Biology Always Wins.

I think what rubs some of these guys the wrong way (and i will concur) is that alot of the salesmen are duplicitous charlatans who start off from a dubious premise. I’ll use Paul Janka as an example. This guy sells ‘The Attraction Formula’.. and for what it’s worth, i read it. I read it 3 weeks after breaking up with my exwife. I downloaded it from das Pirate Bay so i didn’t contribute to the pool of unfortunate men funding him. The book is almost a collection of core game rules that you could end up figuring out for yourself if you spent enough time bloghopping in the sphere. The reason i pick on Paul is because he starts his sales pitch with a doozy (and i’m paraphrasing because i can’t recall it) that sounds something like this:

Look at me, i’m not the most attractive, or good looking guy out there. I’m Joe Average. But with my system, you can get laid with many different women, one for every day of the week!

  • Full head of hair – check
  • 5 oclock shadow – check
  • masculine jawline – check
  • dark full eyebrows – check
  • alpha features and facial tone – check
  • perfect teeth – check
  • looks great in a suit – check

Yes. Joe Average indeed.

 

I do not see him as having trouble with woman since he has his foot half way through the door and many women will be pleased to be approached by him. It’s his ball to fumble afterwords but he has ‘Game’ built into his face.

I’ll bet most of his students do not. There are some guys who will never be able to pull HB9’s no matter what. Like attracts like and +/- a point or two is the basic operating trend.

So yes, the detractors of game have a point i might concede in that some people who peddle game are really selling false hopes in order to monetize on the misfortunes of the beta to omega class. I’ll grant that.

I’m not one of them. I’m not peddling anything other than a collection of my stories and my transformation (and the odd rant or two about rape/sluts/frivorces/mens rights/mgtow advice/yadayada) nothing more.

So it hurts when people say that learning game is bogus, or it sucks that you have to act or pretend, and they feel like they’d be tired sooner or later having to keep up the facade.

When you fulfill your transformation, there is no facade.. there is only you.

It is not the spoon that bends, only your mind.

I can surely assure them and assuage their feelings that i am neither pretending to be someone else or faking anything. I am not ‘play acting’. I am the very same person who i was 20 years ago, in mind and spirit. The only thing that changed is how i present myself to the world.

Through my physical appearance, to the better fitting and fashionable clothes, to the grooming (and accepted loss of hair gone cue ball, embracing instead of ashamin’), to fixing my teeth, and learning both what women find attractive (and being able to fit in without much fuss), and knowing what they find unattractive (and knowing when and by how much to taper off the bad beta), and in knowing when not to partake in any drama or fuss (mgtow, knowing my objective real value, treating myself as the prize, no pussy pedestal, easy dismissal of entitled brats/whores).

Game isn’t all smoke and mirrors, fakery, pimp hats and feather boa’s. Those who are internally confident and sure of themselves can use game as a supplement and make it a  part of who they are, and it doesn’t come off as awkward, unnatural or pathetic. And you don’t get internally confident just by repeating pickup lines like a parrot. You can’t fake it for long, if at all. Once you fix the core, it’s not faking.

There’s no fakery when you can carry on a conversation with a women and lace it with sexual tension and innuendo, and hold eye contact throughout, whereas before you wouldn’t be able to say anything sexually charged without blushing and averting her eyes like a sheepish shy omega.

Those who dismiss game, are simply dismissing learning and mastering the ability to have control over ones actions. You can look at game as a means to learn shortcuts to attraction, but without the inner confidence of actually knowing it, you end up looking like a punk who writes cheques his body can’t cash. I look at game more as a means to help you prevent your beta/gamma unattractive traits from coming to the surface and letting ‘the real you’ shine through.

As i go through life now, i don’t think.. i just do. I’m not acting, I am ME. Inner game allowed me to become the best me possible. Game itself taught me how to curb my unattractive traits so that i only present the very best me possible at all times.

When i’m walking down the street with my head held high, walking tall, cock leading me.. i’m not acting. It is what i have become. 5 years ago i was a slouching, foot dragging, shoulders/head in front of cock beta.

When i’m telling a joke, i smile, hold the gaze, laugh and keep my head face to face with my recipient. I do not stutter over my words, mess up punch lines, giggle throughout the joke, snort, or sheepishly look at the floor while in the company of others.

When i’m speaking with people, i’m cognoscente of how i speak, modulating the inflections of my voice, maintaining control, holding my frame and using gestures only when required. I speak like i walk, poised and with purpose. I am thinking about what i am going to say before i say it. What i don’t do is ramble, get stuck on ‘uhhh’s, let my voice enter tonal ranges of a prepubescent teenager, or flail my arms around like an airline ground traffic controller hopped up on speed and coke.

And yes, even something as simple as opening a door. I calculate in advance whether to pick up my pace to make it to the door in time, smoothly and effortlessly, or slow down if i feel i’m too far away. I open the door in one fluid motion and position myself in front of the door with ease, and attain eye contact, and smile. I do not run at a sprint towards the door, i do not make it obvious it was planned, i do not struggle with the door or flail like a flag in the wind. I don’t behave submissively at the door or look at the floor. I don’t park my ass behind the door.

And all this happens now without me consciously even thinking about it. There are moments where i falter or trip, but i recover so much quicker and easier as well.

These changes didn’t happen overnight, and it wasn’t parlor tricks or a wearing eye makeup and pretending to be a pirate.

These were life changes to make me better, while retaining the essence of who i was. I didn’t change, but what i presented to the world did!

Anyone who says that learning Game is basically acting or pretending to be someone you’re not simply hasn’t grasped how to effectively use it, and how to actualize their full potential.

I am still the exact same person i was 20 years ago. I am a geek. I love Transformers. I would play Dungeons and Dragons if i had the time and friends. I love technology. None of that has changed. But you would never imagine the night and day difference between me then and me now if you saw me next to my 20 year old beta shmuck self. And now that it has become a part of me and who i am, (and because i chose well in terms of who i partnered up with) it is not a chore, not a burden, not some terrible fate that i must continue to ‘pretend’ or ‘act’ or ‘behave’ in some manner that i will eventually get tired of or slip up and revert to beta. Having fully embraced being masculine.. it is not a chore, rather it is something i welcome and enjoy being. I stood in the frame and by golly… i kinda fucking like it here!

What has changed is how i present myself. I don’t make Transformers or video games the epicenter of my life like 20 years ago I’m not the bashful non-confident nerd of 15 years ago. I’m not the quiet meek voice of 10 years ago. I’m not the posture of a doormat i was 5 years ago. . everything about who i am now is having put into practice reclaiming my masculinity, and working hard to create real value in myself so my confidence in myself is also real and not just ‘acting’ or a parlor trick.

I simply upped my Game.

 

8 comments

  1. Bravo M3! It’s fantastic that your use of Game has upped your confidence and aided in taking pride in your looks. It really takes a honest person to admit they can do better…and it’s even rarer to find someone who actually *follows through* with changing themselves.

    I’ve personally encountered the same response as you. In high school, I was always a wallflower; happy and talkative with my friends, quiet and shy around everyone else. In college I forced myself to take 2 public speaking courses, offered to tutor in Spanish and Biology, and learned to look others in the eye when talking to them. Now when I hold the door for men or women, I look up…smile…say “good day”…and sometimes even give a small bow to the ladies.

    I must say, people of both sexes are much friendlier when you are open, confident, and assured.


  2. “These were life changes to make me better, while retaining the essence of who i was. I didn’t change, but what i presented to the world did!”

    If you ever read Fight Club or watched the movie…there is this line:

    “It’s called a changeover. The movie keeps going and the audience has no idea.”

    Movies come on reels and the projectionist in the background has to flip the projectors at the correct time or else the movie will skip.

    Meaning that while people still observe you as essentially the same person…they have no idea what happened on the inside to make it look like a seamless transition. I’m still in the process myself but getting better everyday.

    Oh yeah and as far as opening doors…I do it too. I’ll do it for dudes as well as ladies. Very rarely now will someone not thank me for it. The off chance a lady will do it for me…I say thank you too. Karma.


  3. Thanks for the linkage Brother. Stay up.


  4. […] And yes, even something as simple as opening a door. I calculate in advance whether to pick up my pa… […]


  5. I hold doors open for anyone who happens to be coming through them ahead of me.


  6. “Very rarely now will someone not thank me for it. The off chance a lady will do it for me…I say thank you too. Karma.”

    Very true. I’m always mindful to thank others as well.


  7. @ patriarchal landmine

    I make it a habit to make sure that the opportunity is more or less to be holding it open for a woman (especially good looking ones heh) but i’ll keep it open if a stream includes men as well, as i am never in a particular rush when i’m out and about. That said, i cannot say holding doors open for men makes me feel more ‘masculine’ which is part of the post’s meaning. As such i usually never ‘open’ the door for a man (unless he elderly).. i will usually walk through it but keep the door propped open with my hand so he does not have to pull the door open, but simply step into the doorway behind me. The simply action of holding the door open ‘for women’ and done ‘with confidence’ infuses your balls with testosterone.


  8. Screw masculine or feminine. It’s just polite. Same thing with giving up your seat for an old person. Good manners.

    There’s a wonderful scene of dialogue in one of my all-time greatest movies, 12 Angry Men. The nasty old fart says to the deferential European man:

    “What the hell are you being so polite for?”

    And the European man replies

    “For the same reason you’re not. It’s the way I was brought up.”

    FTW!



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