There are NiceGirls™ all around usFebruary 7, 2013
Ever see the girl who loves cooking breakfast for a douchebag?
Ever know a girl who really likes getting her boyfriend a beer?
Ever witnessed a girl make a sammich for her lover?
Ever heard about a woman who picks up after, cleans and does the laundry of her special guy?
Ever read dating and advice columns about women asking what more they can do to get their significant other to un-equivocally commit to them?
Ever had to listen to some vapid chick cry about how hard she tries to please her man sexually, giving him every request he wants without getting her needs fulfilled, faking her orgasms or just getting the wham bam jackhammer thank you m’aam treatment.. and then asking why he’s still so distant?
Ever hear a woman weep after being berated, humiliated, shoved, abused by her man.. and defend her man saying he’s really not like that, he’s a good person, just give him time?
Ever hear all of this from a woman who simply felt an expectation that doing these things were part of building a relationship towards the goal of commitment?
Ever hear a woman call a man a commitment-phoebe?
Ever hear all of these women pour forth a river of tears , shrieking in agony and cursing to the heavens about how they did everything to keep the relationship going, how awful these horrible men were for not pouring in the same amount of effort, how he’s a creep, a loser, immature, peter pan, man boy child, not ready for a serious relationship and how he wouldn’t man up to take the relationship to the “next level“?
The vitriol that bursts forth from their lips when cold, harsh reality sinks in as her mind awakens to the fact that all her efforts were for naught, all the while receiving cold comfort and validation from a security blanket of female friends, a gaggle of hens who curse the stupid awful mean man who simply refused to appreciate her epic awesomeness to perform his duty to the imperative and commit to her.
We see it all the time but never call it out for what it is because we live in a world that gives primacy and validation for the female preferred method of both promiscuity and attaining commitment.
It’s the rules of GirlWorld™.
THE NICE PARADOX. TO BE NICE IS TO CEDE POWER.
The person who desperately wants the relationship more (the one without power) and is willingly giving what is needed by their partner/person of interest without any return of reciprocal needs where there is expectation is thus acting in the manner of a Nice™ person. When you want something more than the other person, and you are willing to sacrifice your dignity, dreams and desire for it, when you know something is beyond your reach, but you continue to pile on futile attempts to get someone to change their mind, you’re being Nice™.
This is mostly realized in the form of going after someone who has more options than you. Instead of stepping back and saying ‘Fine, enjoy your options.. i won’t play nice’.. they are desperate to hang onto the dream. The construct of the mind. The fabricated romance they’ve envisioned in a fluffy future of happily ever after. If only i just do that one more thing…
Being Nice™ is an act of helpless desperation, of hanging onto a life preserver, hoping to turn the hopeless into hope. Both genders are guilty.
Remember. No one should be ‘convinced’ to be with you. They should simply *want* to be with you.
Those who bitch and moan about it after the fact, do so simply for not having turned off the tap quick enough to avoid being abused and realizing they’ve sunk precious time, energy and investment into a person who could care less, earn the moniker of Nice™.
Tho it’s time women started getting called out for being Nice™ too.
You don’t deserve anything. Relationships are your responsibility, and so is stopping yourself from wasting effort on a dead end. Make your intentions clear, do not expect them to mind read you. Ignore bullshit platitudes of ‘friends first’ or other female-centric nonsense. THIS shit needs to stop!
You make you’re intentions known and you act upon whatever answer you get. The more women that are forced to accept losing precious platonic, emotional and meaningful support for their choice addiction to tingle inducing douchebaggery and ‘assholes’, perhaps it will allow their hypergamy to evolve, to include in their mating choices that what they cannot easily get once you read this, tightened up your sphincter, let your balls drop and say enough is enough. Stop playing nice. Play for keeps.
The hardest thing i ever had to internalize. Women don’t want you to ‘give’ them love. They can’t value something they didn’t have to do anything for it. Something they had to beat other women for.
And always keep this in the back of your minds fellas. You do not win a woman’s love by showing her you love her. You win a woman’s love by being someone she admires, looks up to and respects enough to FIGHT other women to earn your love. Only then when you show it will it have value. This cannot be done as ‘friends’ first because then you will be giving them everything they require without having to earn it or fight for it. And if it’s not something they want from *YOU*.. why would you give it to them anyways?
JUST SAY NO TO LET’S JUST BE FRIENDS
Be very loud and vocal about this. If you want an intimate relationship and she just wants friendship.
No. NO. N-O. Spells no. I have enough friends. Goodbye.
To the women who want commitment, you must claim early on that you want it, no assumptions just because you hooked up with him and hope that your magical vagina music will hold him in check. If delusion is what you seek, then continue your policy of don’t ask. Your favors and great treatment of him may be utilized (as well as your vagina) until long after you realize “‘he just wasn’t the into you, except for his penis“. If you don’t put goals of commitment in front of him right away, and you don’t receive your need requirements returned to you for your efforts.. but you stay and continue with eyes wide closed hoping he comes around if you just keep bringing him his beer and sammich’s..
..and then you find out he’s been spinning plates and fucking Sleazy Suzy, Slutty Sally and Rawdog Rhianna..
..and you go bitching to all your girlfriends, the advice columns, Salon.com, and call all men dogs, animals that only think with their dicks, and you’re Plenty of Fish profile reads like a crazy woman who let herself get abused one too many times riding the alpha cock carousel..
YOU JUST MIGHT BE A NASTY NOT SO NICE NICEGIRL™
No one is entitled to a relationship cupcake.
You only get it when your partner feels you are both worthy of it and earned it. Hooking up, and hoping for the best..
Start calling them on it.
Next post is for the girls. How to let a NiceGuy go and possibly earn a real friend in return…