Posts Tagged ‘improvement’


Where Anger Leads

December 2, 2013

reality motivational poster

I hear this quite a lot:

“There is so much anger in the sphere. This anger works against you and just makes you look like a bunch of angry bitter misogynists who hate women.”

I won’t deny there are many angry men in the sphere.

As i mentioned to Tarnished Sophia in my previous post here, a majority of the anger in the sphere comes from men who are freshly introduced into the sphere on what could arguably be the worst day of their life. The day their marriage ends, the day they get frivorced, the day they get cheated on by their soul mate, the day their kids are taken from them, the day they end up going to jail for a false rape, or not being able to keep up with outrageous sums of child support.

And they stay angry for a while, as everything they grew up believing about concepts of love, romance, chivalry, men and women comes crashing to the floor like a porcelain plate.  Much of the anger is justifiable, because it’s men who wake up to the fact they’ve been lied to their whole life and are now faced with the difficult task of having to accept a new reality and discard everything they thought they knew in order to digest and accept the new truths of the sphere.

It would be as if you worked hard for 35 years and investing wisely by handing over your money to Uncle Joe who everyone said was good with moeny, only to suddenly be told by Joe that it was all a lie, he wasn’t investing, he gambled it on coin slots.. all the money was gone, and you had to start again from square one learning about the realities of investing from real investors instead of listening to people who don’t know a thing about investing.

In Obsidian’s post about Ratchet women here, Off The Cuff left a very good remark that encapsulates what i have been blabbing about above:

There are two components of the sphere: getting men to first *understand* reality and get over their preconceived notions of how things should work, and then, processing the implications of it through discussion.

The former drives the latter.

I thought i knew how i was supposed to attract women. Be nice. Have a job. Be their friend and get to know everything about them before opening up your romantic intentions. You don’t want to come off as just being after sex now and add to the stereotype that all men are after is only sex. Yadda Yadda.

Once i swallowed the redpill and read every aspect of the sphere, no amount of me crying in my milk was going to change the reality of the game. Either i accepted how things actually work, or i would repeat failure. I wanted sex. I wanted a relationship. I wanted the comfort of a wonderful woman. That drove me to accept the redpill, dump all my blue pill mentality in the trash and get to the hard work of implementing the change required.

It didn’t happen overnight. There was a lot of anger along the way. A lot of anger to get out of my system. But eventually my keystrokes became less about leaving comments about all women being bitches and more about how my changes were netting positive gains in The Real World.

And this my friends, is why i get a little peeved every time i have to justify the latent anger the simmers just beneath the surface of the sphere. It’s because with the exception of a few keyboard warriors who continually enjoy leaving comments of blaming everything on women and living in their misery (because it’s easier to stay there rather than move forward and accept the new reality).. most men reach a point where they accept the new found reality and get to the hard task of slogging through their pain and anger, getting past those preconceived notions of how things should work, and start to internalize how things ACTUALLY work, and process how they themselves will work to take the best advantage possible within that framework.

From working within reality.

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Thank You

October 25, 2013

Style: "Mad Men" January Jones (Betty Draper) and Don Draper (Jon Hamm)(apologies in advance, a lot of rambling and repeating in this post. it’s a poor writing effort but i just wanted to put this out there anyways. i’m too tired to play copy editor tonight. cheers)

I hear it often now, or some variation of it.

I hear it now where i once did not.

I hear it coming from the mouths of women. All women.

It used to only come from Asian women (who seem to naturally retain their femininity and deference, at least towards white men), and the elderly (who grew up in a time of chivalry).. but now it comes from  all women.

Young, old, thin, thick, blonde, brunette, redhead, hot, fugly, liberal, conservative. Maybe even feminists?

Doesn’t matter. They’re all saying it to me when i hold it open.

The door.

Yes folks, i still end up holding doors for ladies. Always have, always will. Le sigh..

So i have to ask “What’s changed?”

Why am i now getting thank you’s left right and center for an action that hasn’t changed one iota. The action of holding a door open for a woman?

One of two things.

  1. Either the women have changed in reflection to a society that seems to be further distancing itself from the pollution that is feminism and attempting to regain/retain chivalry because it is scared that feminism has driven men to the brink of abandoning all women
  2. Or i have changed, and women are not reacting to the action itself, but in how the action is performed.. and by whom.

The first may be a plausible scenario, but would still not explain the 100% increase in pleasant responses i have received. Such a percentile change would mean that this sea change has already taken place. We all know that isn’t the case, and the statistical odds of me running into woman after woman like this would be astronomical.

So i must conclude that a majority of it is they are responding to ME as the variable that changed in the equation.

Now.. i’m not saying i’m James fucking Bond, i’m not. I would never classify myself as an ‘alpha’. More like a reformed beta, gone into greater Beta. But those moments when i nail confidence down and am truly feeling it.. you’d be hard pressed to distinguish.

And it kind of makes sense to me now, when i think of who i was back then.. and who i am now. My firm belief is women of all stripes, colors, creeds and ideologies will be receptive to ‘MEN’ who open doors for them if they are attracted enough to them ever so briefly to consider what a possible tryst might be like. Experience tells me that women certainly abhor the idea of being inseminated with unfit and unworthy semen, so they would hiss upon undesirable men who might seek to curry favor by being chivalrous in the hopes of romantic persuasion.

When i was undesirable.. most women would find ways to bend space and time in an effort to avoid acknowledging my gesture.

Today, especially when wearing my tank-tops during the summer, women couldn’t curtsy and say Thank You fast enough, their smiles betraying their thoughts. The second glance they’d shoot me farther away granted me the same feeling as a scientist when his theory pans out correctly.

Simply from the way and manner in which i confidently open a door.

And it is without reservation that all aspects of Game helped me get here. From my initial Dark Triad game which got me out of my nightmare, to learning about Game and attraction, along with Inner Game and fixing the core. Every facet of game helped.

I’ve tracked a lot of my incoming traffic, i like to see who’s talking about me and what i’m adding to the discussion. I have seen my name alot on a lot of forums and so forth. I do recall one person saying that they liked what i wrote but that i still used too much PUA crap in my writing. They don’t like the concept of ‘pretending to be someone you’re not‘ or ‘faking it till you make it‘. What they’re actually saying tho is that they are scared of working on changing themselves for the better and instead should simply be accepted as they are.

(Fat acceptance anyone?)

To each their own, i won’t dictate to any man how they wish to live. I only show my own example from where i started – to where i’ve ended up as an example for others to explore if they so choose. They think that people who peddle game are parasites taking advantage of the vulnerable.

Suffice it to say, you can see i offer no books, courses or any monetary sink holes for people to fall into. While i will agree that there is a group of people who sell the downtrodden unreasonable hopes of landing HB9’s with 3 simple questions that will make her want to fuck you, and the idea that you can turn a love shy, introverted, and socially awkward wallflower into a Mac Daddy over the course of a weekend seminar is selling snake oil at it’s finest.. it doesn’t invalidate the central tenets of Game philosophy, Evo Psych and attraction triggers evolved from our cavemen ancestors. Or as Private Man says – Biology Always Wins.

I think what rubs some of these guys the wrong way (and i will concur) is that alot of the salesmen are duplicitous charlatans who start off from a dubious premise. I’ll use Paul Janka as an example. This guy sells ‘The Attraction Formula’.. and for what it’s worth, i read it. I read it 3 weeks after breaking up with my exwife. I downloaded it from das Pirate Bay so i didn’t contribute to the pool of unfortunate men funding him. The book is almost a collection of core game rules that you could end up figuring out for yourself if you spent enough time bloghopping in the sphere. The reason i pick on Paul is because he starts his sales pitch with a doozy (and i’m paraphrasing because i can’t recall it) that sounds something like this:

Look at me, i’m not the most attractive, or good looking guy out there. I’m Joe Average. But with my system, you can get laid with many different women, one for every day of the week!

  • Full head of hair – check
  • 5 oclock shadow – check
  • masculine jawline – check
  • dark full eyebrows – check
  • alpha features and facial tone – check
  • perfect teeth – check
  • looks great in a suit – check

Yes. Joe Average indeed.


I do not see him as having trouble with woman since he has his foot half way through the door and many women will be pleased to be approached by him. It’s his ball to fumble afterwords but he has ‘Game’ built into his face.

I’ll bet most of his students do not. There are some guys who will never be able to pull HB9’s no matter what. Like attracts like and +/- a point or two is the basic operating trend.

So yes, the detractors of game have a point i might concede in that some people who peddle game are really selling false hopes in order to monetize on the misfortunes of the beta to omega class. I’ll grant that.

I’m not one of them. I’m not peddling anything other than a collection of my stories and my transformation (and the odd rant or two about rape/sluts/frivorces/mens rights/mgtow advice/yadayada) nothing more.

So it hurts when people say that learning game is bogus, or it sucks that you have to act or pretend, and they feel like they’d be tired sooner or later having to keep up the facade.

When you fulfill your transformation, there is no facade.. there is only you.

It is not the spoon that bends, only your mind.

I can surely assure them and assuage their feelings that i am neither pretending to be someone else or faking anything. I am not ‘play acting’. I am the very same person who i was 20 years ago, in mind and spirit. The only thing that changed is how i present myself to the world.

Through my physical appearance, to the better fitting and fashionable clothes, to the grooming (and accepted loss of hair gone cue ball, embracing instead of ashamin’), to fixing my teeth, and learning both what women find attractive (and being able to fit in without much fuss), and knowing what they find unattractive (and knowing when and by how much to taper off the bad beta), and in knowing when not to partake in any drama or fuss (mgtow, knowing my objective real value, treating myself as the prize, no pussy pedestal, easy dismissal of entitled brats/whores).

Game isn’t all smoke and mirrors, fakery, pimp hats and feather boa’s. Those who are internally confident and sure of themselves can use game as a supplement and make it a  part of who they are, and it doesn’t come off as awkward, unnatural or pathetic. And you don’t get internally confident just by repeating pickup lines like a parrot. You can’t fake it for long, if at all. Once you fix the core, it’s not faking.

There’s no fakery when you can carry on a conversation with a women and lace it with sexual tension and innuendo, and hold eye contact throughout, whereas before you wouldn’t be able to say anything sexually charged without blushing and averting her eyes like a sheepish shy omega.

Those who dismiss game, are simply dismissing learning and mastering the ability to have control over ones actions. You can look at game as a means to learn shortcuts to attraction, but without the inner confidence of actually knowing it, you end up looking like a punk who writes cheques his body can’t cash. I look at game more as a means to help you prevent your beta/gamma unattractive traits from coming to the surface and letting ‘the real you’ shine through.

As i go through life now, i don’t think.. i just do. I’m not acting, I am ME. Inner game allowed me to become the best me possible. Game itself taught me how to curb my unattractive traits so that i only present the very best me possible at all times.

When i’m walking down the street with my head held high, walking tall, cock leading me.. i’m not acting. It is what i have become. 5 years ago i was a slouching, foot dragging, shoulders/head in front of cock beta.

When i’m telling a joke, i smile, hold the gaze, laugh and keep my head face to face with my recipient. I do not stutter over my words, mess up punch lines, giggle throughout the joke, snort, or sheepishly look at the floor while in the company of others.

When i’m speaking with people, i’m cognoscente of how i speak, modulating the inflections of my voice, maintaining control, holding my frame and using gestures only when required. I speak like i walk, poised and with purpose. I am thinking about what i am going to say before i say it. What i don’t do is ramble, get stuck on ‘uhhh’s, let my voice enter tonal ranges of a prepubescent teenager, or flail my arms around like an airline ground traffic controller hopped up on speed and coke.

And yes, even something as simple as opening a door. I calculate in advance whether to pick up my pace to make it to the door in time, smoothly and effortlessly, or slow down if i feel i’m too far away. I open the door in one fluid motion and position myself in front of the door with ease, and attain eye contact, and smile. I do not run at a sprint towards the door, i do not make it obvious it was planned, i do not struggle with the door or flail like a flag in the wind. I don’t behave submissively at the door or look at the floor. I don’t park my ass behind the door.

And all this happens now without me consciously even thinking about it. There are moments where i falter or trip, but i recover so much quicker and easier as well.

These changes didn’t happen overnight, and it wasn’t parlor tricks or a wearing eye makeup and pretending to be a pirate.

These were life changes to make me better, while retaining the essence of who i was. I didn’t change, but what i presented to the world did!

Anyone who says that learning Game is basically acting or pretending to be someone you’re not simply hasn’t grasped how to effectively use it, and how to actualize their full potential.

I am still the exact same person i was 20 years ago. I am a geek. I love Transformers. I would play Dungeons and Dragons if i had the time and friends. I love technology. None of that has changed. But you would never imagine the night and day difference between me then and me now if you saw me next to my 20 year old beta shmuck self. And now that it has become a part of me and who i am, (and because i chose well in terms of who i partnered up with) it is not a chore, not a burden, not some terrible fate that i must continue to ‘pretend’ or ‘act’ or ‘behave’ in some manner that i will eventually get tired of or slip up and revert to beta. Having fully embraced being masculine.. it is not a chore, rather it is something i welcome and enjoy being. I stood in the frame and by golly… i kinda fucking like it here!

What has changed is how i present myself. I don’t make Transformers or video games the epicenter of my life like 20 years ago I’m not the bashful non-confident nerd of 15 years ago. I’m not the quiet meek voice of 10 years ago. I’m not the posture of a doormat i was 5 years ago. . everything about who i am now is having put into practice reclaiming my masculinity, and working hard to create real value in myself so my confidence in myself is also real and not just ‘acting’ or a parlor trick.

I simply upped my Game.



Let the Free Market Decide – No Subsidies

July 17, 2013

Toronto. We’re all melting here. I fucking hate heat waves.

The sun is out, it’s sweltering, you head into the convenience store and open the mini freezer to pick out an ice cream bar. Two items catch your eye. They both look identical.


Both sell for $3.99 (damn rippoff if you ask me).

So on the surface we see two delectable items that have the same investment cost, but we drill down a little deeper.

One is sold by Haagendaz, a company well renowned by connoisseurs of the sweet stuff. Known for their rich and creamy goods being of only the finest quality, even if fattening.. it’s the indulgence factor. Just ask Lindy West. We know what we’re getting here by the ingredients. Pure cream, sugar, caramel, chocolate coating and a sprinkle of nuts.

The other is sold by the Acme Biohazard Disposal Company. It comes in a plain plastic wrapper with a biohazard logo on it. It lists as it’s main ingredients seagull shit, diarrhea, aged semen and fever blister pus sprinkled with assorted abscess particles.

Seriously… at what point are you even going to entertain spending your money on a donkey diarrhea bar?

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Online Dating – Toronto PoF Edition

June 4, 2013

Private Man’s post over here reminded me of one such incident i had a while back that was post worthy, but i never got around to. I also had a very insightful chat with a very good woman who i had mischaracterized in one of my posts called TOXIC WATERS. She actually emailed me and asked me to redact her info [And i obliged. Turns out she’s very much a girl like Stingray and just happened to write one silly line i grabbed onto while looking for monsters to kill the night i made that post. She got caught in my net.]

With that behind us.. welcome to Online Dating in Toronto!

What it felt like around here for a while.

Kill it with Fire!

Keep in mind:

  1. This took place a few months ago, before i found my girl
  2. I was punching well “below” my weight here (explain in a second)
  3. I bit my tongue and went above and beyond a gentlemanly response.

I had a telephone chat with Danny during and around the Christmas break and was telling him that i was intentionally punching below my weight.. more as an experiment and less as a means of finding someone. I wanted to see the dysfunction of the SMP for myself by actively courting the lesser averages to the dregs of the SMP to see whether they knew their own correct value.

Aside from most women not even responding (thus telling me they are either inundated with emails, simply there for ego validation, extremely skewed in their belief they can hold out for Brad Pitt.. or fake profiles) I did get a few responses that told me everything i needed to know about today’s dating scene, online or otherwise that would guide my future fore into the world of courtship. A world where i would not court based on placating or jumping hoops, but effectively screening these same dregs away with a filter that would make Sir. HEPA proud.

And i consequently did that by writing the most up front, no nonsense, high word count, character limit profile of my life on PoF. One that had women actively soliciting me, more so just to tell me they appreciated a man who knows what he wants even if we weren’t compatible. It also helped me end up where i am today.

But on this one day (which i could accurately say was the majority of my days on PoF and OKC) i ran into women like this one.. who if they responded.. were trouble right from the start.

Perhaps they were burned once too often by alpha’s and pua’s that they were simply reacting instead of thinking? Perhaps.. guess they still have a ways to go before they learn how to build a better filter. This one certainly has much work left ahead of her:

Picture 14

Picture 15

So here i find this girl who has an ‘average‘ body type (which in online dating runs the gamut between the threshold of a cutey with just a small layer of baby fat over the belly and big dimples to the outer limits of swimming with the Manatees). I took a stab at this one who i garnered was below me in terms of SMV since:

  • She smokes / I don’t (except on holidays derp)
  • She’s getting over the hill / i’m hitting my prime
  • She’s average body type / i’m p90x styels
  • She’s got high school / i’ve got some business college cred
  • She’s 5’1 and i’m towering over her at 5’11 so her average is spread out over a smaller frame, and she gets her requirement of a tall man met as well

In the SMV sweepstakes, i’m blowing this girl out of the water, yet here i am basically scuttling my own Battleship by sinking it in order to meet her (or creating an artificial reef for her to lay waste to school’s of plankton). Objectively speaking this can’t be denied.

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February 2, 2013

Quick post and a test of creating a post from my Google Nexus 7 WordPress app.


Was working the bench press last night with my friend and probably tried to push out one too many reps. Form went south and was arching my back a little too much, cheating to get the last ones up. I knew I was going to pay for it.

This morning I was sore but didn’t think anything of it. I’ve been sore before. So i went of to play some hardcore Olympic level table tennis with the Zen master.. A man twice my age and impossibly full of energy reserves mere mortals don’t have. He’s a terminator.. I’m positive of this.

He’s mentoring a young kid into ping pong, and today he and his father were there to watch the two of us have an epic battle.

2nd game in, my back had other ideas. I felt it, that split second where you know if you finished the motion, you’d be on the ground and need to be carried home. I stopped just short. I wasn’t down for the count but I knew I was fucked. I couldn’t stand tall, I couldn’t run from left to right, I couldn’t put any pressure on my back.

2 games in. Fuck. This would be a huge letdown for the father and son. I looked at Zen master and meekly grimaced, stood up slowly and said I had pulled something, but wasn’t going to use it as an excuse, to hit me with all he had. The kid came to see a war, wasn’t about to give him less.

The first few matches were a joke as I tried to figure a way to counter his shots and go for kill shots of my own. Without my prior range or mobility he was tearing me apart. But with each game I was forced to examine patterns, rely more on spin and accuracy, and most importantly, just get the ball to his side of the table and force him to make an error.

While he kept beating me, they weren’t resounding victories. I kept pace. I stated returning shots to the corners forcing him to bounce from end to end, thus keeping me in the center. I stopped using crazy spins on the serve and lobed them to just barely clear the net, forcing him to lob the returns high into the air giving me the advantage to make him start running left to right or just to smash it back down with a killer backhand which does not require back strength.

By the end I still only ended up winning about 4 games of 20… And lost our best of nine series ender 5 to 3. But they were all close games, half going into overtime where you need to win by 2 points.

Adapt. It’s what we do when we encounter change. The world is always changing, always evolving, sometimes for good, sometimes for ill. It helps us overcome obstacles and be resilient. Ask a paraplegic or someone wearing a prosthetic limb. It’s what you do when faced with a choice of doing something you don’t want to do to proceed forward or do nothing and be left behind.

The kid wanted an Olympic war, and I couldn’t give it to him by doing what worked in the past, so I had to adapt quickly, learn, experiment, grow. And for it we gave him a great show that will encourage him to continue learning the game under Zen master and put a smile on both dad and sons face.

The alternative was doing nothing and driving home.

To anyone who tells you game is smoke and mirrors, what they’re telling you is to go home. Learn game. Adapt. The goalposts have moved and there’s nothing you can do to change that. Learn how to rid yourself of traits that get you disqualified from playing.

You have a choice. Adapt or quit.

Now if you excuse me.. I need to go hobble off to my bed like the hunchback of Notre Dame now and wait for the Advil 500’s to kick in. Nobody said adapting was painless. Nothing worthwhile ever is.

Sent from my tablet. You see a spelling mistake, its the tablets fault.


Is it Fair?

January 21, 2013


Don’t shoot me, i’m just the messenger…

So i had a back and forth comment session with my friend Audi (the audacious amateur blogger) and it something occurred to me.

I’m conflicted.

See, i’ll share a little secret. I like her (shhhhh)

At it’s core lies this problem. She’s worried about spherian mentality about “The Wall” and “The Number” and natural consequences of actions. Part of my latent beta wants to don the suit of plate mail, climb the white horse and protect her as my conditioning under the the rules of GirlWorld commands me to. And another part of me, that itchy burning area of my rectum where the RedPill currently resides is telling me fuck it.. actions have consequences, take it like a man. Derrrrp.

This is a case of going before the judge and pleading that you didn’t know that pissing into the town square water fountain was a crime because there were no warning signs posted.. to which the judge harrumphs “IGNORANCE OF THE LAW IS NO EXCUSE” and slams the gavel down and chucks a hefty leather-bound book at you.

She has/had the same problem i did some 18 years ago… it’s called Naivete.


adjective \nä-ˈēv, nī-\

1: marked by unaffected simplicity :artlessingenuous
2a: deficient in worldly wisdom or informed judgment; especially:credulous
b : not previously subjected to experimentation or a particular experimental situation <made the test with naive rats>;

Is it harsh to be judged and convicted for things done when you were simply following what you thought was the properly laid out doctrine to follow? Yes, yes it is. Especially if the rules you followed were crafted by a society that began an experiment to see if human behavior was indeed a social construct through conditioning and behavioral modification instead of something deeper and more innate… primal. And if it were the latter that was found to be the truth, could leeway be given to avoid the consequences of those actions done under sincere misguidance?

It’s something i wrestle with, because as a decent guy and human being, i wouldn’t want to see what i feel is an obvious good but naive kid who simply followed the path that was allowed for by this current society (a society i do wish to see at the bottom of Davey Jones locker btw) having to accept the consequences and punishment of our now evolved and well informed spherian understanding of a woman’s N and the cruelty of The Wall.

Yet one need only read this (which you probably already have) to realize that i myself, and untold countless millions of others have indeed already paid the loftiest price for being naive. The judges are still at it to this very day with the public trials of NiceGuys™ in the street, listening to the mobs yelling for the Jezebel executioner to throw the level and pull the floor out from under the condemned for their naive nature.

Is it fair that one side is made to suffer full consequences while the other gets a reprieve solely due to gender and timing?

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Sphere Exercises and Challenges to keep you Sharp!

October 30, 2012

So it’s a slow day an your bored out of you tree, twiddling your thumbs. What oh what is there to do?

Keep you mind sharp that’s what son!

I’ve devised a series of exercises for you to do on slow, grey, miserable days to keep you from getting cabin fever. Some are easy, some are advanced. Some are X-treme and not for the faint of heart! Let’s see which one’s you can do!

1. Create a Plenty of Fish account. Use an unfamiliar fashion magazine model for the photos (don’t use uber professional pics, and try and find more than one, maybe a set) and come up with some happy mysterious vibe profile that covers just the bare basics but leaves plenty for intrigue and imagination. Or if lazy, use one of these. Do a search for women 35+ and over who are looking for someone to ‘settle down’ with, who are ‘tired of the bar scene’, who’ve ‘been there done that’, who are ‘tired of the games’. Try and target the ones that really want children. Send them a quick message like “Hi, you look nice! I have a question. Is having children something you want really soon or would you wait to make sure you and your partner click?”. Wait for a response if any. However they choose to respond, just reply with the following video link and a big BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!. We need to start making this an unsafe pond for ego vampires to swim in. It’s time to bring the lightning to the pond and make the fish go belly up. I want to see a 5000% uptick in articles like this.

You can also delay the torment before flipping the switch and throw them a feeler question first just to see the hamster at work. Read the rest of this entry ?