Confidence is like “Magic” to WomenNovember 21, 2013
They don’t really care to know how the illusion is created, they just want to be excited by the trick!
“Fake it till you make it” – Or so the saying goes around these parts. I’ve already written about Confidence once, but i though i’d expand on it and how i believe women ‘experience‘ this thing men exude.
- Most people can’t step into the Octagon with a world champion MMA fighter and simply say “I’m confident i can take that motherfucker down!” – You’re face will end up looking like the bloody steak in the meat section of your local supermarket.
- Most people can’t walk into a dōjō and simply say “Yo, you and you’re silly little black-belt are going down right here, right now bitch!” – Chances are, a doctor will be putting a cast on you somewhere.
- Most people can’t walk onto an military firing range and dare the master marksman “I’ll bet you my house i can hit that target 1.5 kilometers away before you do!” – You’ll be crying while packing your bags and taping up the boxes for the movers.
You simply cannot be a novice and expect to beat masters with years of practice under their belt with simple platitudes of ‘just be more confident’. That’s kind of like throwing a never touched water neophyte into a raging torrent of fast moving water and saying stupid shit like “Just tread water!” or “Move your arms dammit!” or “Don’t breathe while under the water!!!”
Now, you can get lucky once in a while, so fake it till you make it has merit, but the true goal is to become proficient until you can replicate victory over and over successfully, by knowing you have the ability to cash the cheques your ego is writing!
That is where true confidence stems from. Natural confidence comes from external sources of validation and receptivity. It’s no secret that many good looking people exude natural confidence simply because people are more receptive and accepting of them (just ask Ted Bundy), more forgiving of faults or misdeeds by the beautiful people. It’s why we go “Awwwwww” when the cute little dog is taking a shit on the carpet and chewing on your shoes and biting your hand when you put it in the food bowl.. but you squish a creepy spider under your shoe without remorse, even tho it does the environment good by eating the pesky blood sucking mosquitoes! Spiders be creepy yo.
Once again, i’ve gone off track. Naturals are confident because they’re used to society being agreeable with them from the starting gate. Everyone else from average on down has to work for and succeed at things to build on confidence. We all know this is true.
Women’s solipsistic nature does not allow for them to comprehend the male experience of having to work to become attractive. (The lower 80% here, without the dreamy eyes, chissled jaws, full head of hair, etc..)
The work required to educate himself to become good in his field. The work to compete against other men for the top spot in his profession or vocation. The work of lifting and exercising to put muscle on his frame. The work of excelling at extra curricular activities and knowledge of the world to be captivating, exciting and mysterious. The work of finding a fashion sense (and affording it) that speaks volumes of power without saying a word. And most important of all, working on his game to make sure that he does not disqualify himself despite all the previous work by being perceived as overly ‘beta’.
An average and inexperienced girl never has to worry about the sting of rejection over and over again. Once or twice perhaps, but unless she’s really fat or ugly, she’ll easily be able to pull average to above average men, for sex or relationships. Her choice. A majority of the time she’ll never have to approach, she’ll be the approached. She will not have an understanding of what it’s like to put yourself on the spot, declare intent and be rejected. She’ll never come to know what a penalty ‘not being confident’ is to men.
“The woman is — in the strictest of biological terms — saying: I’m not paying you 50 grand for your chocolate bar…”
“… while the man is saying: I’m not willing to give you 50 cents for that Lexus.”
> on active (not passive) rejection by gender.
Women rarely, IF EVER, overtly announce intent. Rather they use ‘girl game’ and send out passive aggressive signals showing they are interested, but leave enough plausible deniability to avoid the stigma of being unworthy by outright rejection. Only those women who are 100% certain of their desirability are willing to take that risk when they have the desire for a romp with a particular man. And even then they will do it not by words, but by ‘coming onto’ the man, and letting nature work it’s magic. That’s female confidence that’s built into their sexuality.
Only the unfit/masculinized ones make a big stink about it because their FAUX confidence is built on the belief that all their masculine traits make up for their lack of physical beauty. I’m strong, empowered, confident and sexy! Large and in charge! Once you go big, you never go twig! – or at least that’s what they keep telling themselves, even tho they are snarky, bitchy 50 lbs overweight and completely unfeminine. They aren’t confident. They’re repeating a mantra in hopes that one day, they’ll actually believe it themselves. They’re doing their best to ‘Fake it till they make it’. But they never quite do…
I’d also like to point out that while women have no problem telling men that their problem is to ‘just be more confident’ in order to fix their dating problems and call men angry, bitter losers (for not being naturals) when men flip their shit at such a vague and useless suggestion, women seem to have a visceral reaction to hearing the same corrective measure of ‘just be more feminine/behave like a woman’ applied to fixing their problems. The instantaneous cackles of “oh you just can’t handle a strong confident woman” or “and what exactly does a “REAL” girl behave like?” come out of the mouths of these women who can dole out the advice, but too thin skinned to take the reality lesson themselves.
For women, being attractive/feminine is easy to quantify. Look sexy/feminine. Be pleasant/don’t be a bitch. But for men, being masculine/confident is so hopelessly subjective to a great many women because they don’t even know what it is that attracts themselves. The true indicator is if they get wet with a glazed look in their eyes, then you’ll know it!
Women typically feel a mans confidence just springs from a hole in the ground like a fucking Hobbit, they do not know, or wish to know how many times the man in front of them casually uncorked that bottle of wine and poured it out while smiling and looking into her eyes, saying all the right things, creating just the right mood. The ease of which their interaction is taking place, like she’s been with this guy a thousand times over, yet it’s their first meeting. Like destiny, like fate, like they’ve known each other all their lives!
And the feeling of 2 magnets of opposing polarity are connected to the inside of her knees begins to take hold..
In her mind it’s the first time he’s doing it, or at the very least, the first time it actually matters of course, because it’s with her. A woman wants to believe everything that is happening is truly happening without any though plan or preparation.. to fulfill the ‘it just happened’ spontaneity of the fantasy (even when the principle actor is a stalker lol!).
Like seeing a magic trick for the first time.. you don’t sit there examining how the trick will be pulled off, you simply experience the trick and end up with jaw on the floor as your mind stands bewildered at what it just saw. It’s only after you’ve completely experienced the trick that your mind settles down to the hard business of saying “What just happened? How the fuck did that impossible thing just happen before my eyes?”
So too is it with a woman being charmed out of her panties.
She fails to realize that he is so confident in making her feel this way, in creating this mood and moment, this experience of everything happening so smoothly, as if it were just meant to be…
..BECAUSE hes done it enough times to earn the GOLD medal in the Olympics of Seduction.
Her hypergamy demands nothing less.
Nothing ‘just happens’ with a man who’s confident. Why?
- Because he knows how to anticipate the punch of his MMA opponent by noticing which leg his opponent is putting all his weight on in just a fraction of a second.
- Because he knows exactly how to focus all his power and concentrate his focus to one specific area to create a devastating blow without leaving him open to attack.
- Because he knows how to slow his pulse, read the wind, gravity and the Coriolis effect.. and knows to pull the trigger on the exhale.
Things a confident man is not doing:
- Thinking about whether what he’s about to say is funny, lame or corny.
- Thinking about whether he’s going to trip over his words.
- Thinking about saying something wrong.
- Thinking about whether he should put his hands on her shoulder or gently move her hair behind her ear to see more of her face and whether it’s ‘appropriate’ right now.
- Thinking about whether she’s signalling interest or is she just friendly like this to everyone
- Thinking about whether he’s going to end up naked in front of her
- Thinking about if she will find him attractive
- Thinking about whether he will get her into bed, or how long he’ll last
A confident guy isn’t thinking about anything negative because he’s experienced it all, knows how to diffuse, knows how to recover, knows how to ad-lib, knows how to roll with the punches, knows how to read and knows how to react.
In other words, it’s ‘just happening’ because he’s trained himself and knows how to make it happen again and again, with frightening consistency. And when you know you can repeat the same event over and over..
..you might say you’re pretty confident you know what you’re doing.
Of that, I am 100% confident.
Whether you land a cad or a dad depends on whether you took the time to look past that confidence, past the tingles, past the fantasy… to see whether he was the perfect picture you thought he was, or simply a throw away shot.