Posts Tagged ‘chance’

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Confidence

May 6, 2013

This post is coming out of drafts, i started writing this just before Christmas holidays last year, and Rollo’s post here about having a Plan for what to do AFTER having secured initial interest reminded me about it so it’s a good starting point. Without further adoo.

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Many years ago I had a conversation with the woman who had me in the friendzone.

The conversation led to what women really wanted because obviously what i had offered up until then was not enough. I had heard ‘you’re such great guy‘ too often without any results. Being friendzoned by her was proof positive.

You see feminism taught me how to be tolerant and respectful towards women but it did not teach me that these traits were devoid of attraction. Being nice and showing all your positive traits in the hopes it will be recognized by the very women claiming to be looking for those traits, which is now vilified by femcunts like Marcotte was how I (we) was(were) brought up assuming we would get women to want to have relationships with us. We were told women WANTED to be with men who don’t disrespect them, make them feel like crap, treat them like assholes. We are still told this to this very day. Guess who loses in the short term mating market?

It taught us that treating women as equals and human being was enough.

Now don’t get me wrong.. i get that there is a huge divide between being an asshole and simply being sure of yourself and confident. One takes a little time to become, through experience, patience and time. One is the shortcut way of attracting the emotionally broken and self esteem cripples of the world, women who can only be validated by thugs or have a rescue complex the size of NML Cygni. Problem is, many women don’t give guys a chance to develop the former, so they choose the path of least resistance and join the latter, mainly out of spite or sheer frustration.

If there’s anyone out there who knows exactly what i’m speaking about, it’s Deti and i invite him to repost most of his remarks below. He makes a shit ton of very good comments over at HUS on thread discussing hypergamy. Deti *groks* what most people don’t seem to understand.

You’re just not grokking what men of our generation were taught. Our own mothers either didn’t get it or, more likely, simply lied to us. Frankly I think it was that our own mothers didn’t want to admit the truth to themselves that they did the exact same things they saw the girls doing and that they themselves made some mistakes they regretted.

My mother didn’t lie to me, she just didn’t know any better. Or maybe she wanted me to avoid making the same mistake. After all, my dad was a boxer.. and looking at old pics of my mom, she was a looker in her day so she had SMV to spare. Who knows.. maybe she did lie. I just think becoming a mom destroys any sense of rationality women have and they need to justify to themselves that whatever naughty bad behaviors they did aren’t worth detailing because they want their kids to act, behave and be better than them and live in their ‘idealized’ world. It’s a theory. A shitty one but well, there it is.

So now you have this kid who’s grown up believing in irrational fairy tales of what girls who are made of sugar and spice want and should be like and what they should actually like.. and now dump a whole shit ton of feminist slut hookup culture into the mix. It’s like baking a cake. A diarrhea cake.

That's one sinfully sick cake you don't want to touch..

That’s one sinfully sick cake you don’t want to touch..

If you want to see just how far feminism fucked me over, go reread this post here. It so drilled into my head on how to be so respectful and subservient towards women, to always tiptoe around them and to NEVER be aggressive or sexually honest around them (Game allowed me to break this self perpetuating cycle of catastrophe ). So much so that i am pretty much now incapable of maintaining sexual arousal when a woman asks me to get ‘rough’ with her. It turns me off and makes me go limp. (Thankfully not an issue as my current paramour loves steamy, sensual and enthusiastically passionate sex, not Gorillas in the Mist sex any caveman can do. Monkey sex is not my forte, and i’m fucking proud of that fact)

Now, me and Deti may very well be a generation removed from what’s going on today, but my guess is that with an SMP that appears to be even more fucked up than ever before, the lessons of the past repeat themselves. But now I’m off track.. so back to the convo with my friend.

I asked her what with all my ‘great’ qualities why I was striking out? She said that I just needed to be more confident. I asked her how? She said ‘You just do. Confidence comes from within.’ I immediately balked an told her that wasn’t true. Confidence is not innate, its earned. Read the rest of this entry ?

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There’s never was any hope for Humpty Dumpty

December 8, 2012

Let me ask you a question.

If a woman is raped.. how long does it take for her to get ‘back on the horse’ as it were? Does she get berated with things like

  • you’re really bitter and resentful about it
  • you gotta let it go if you want to move forward and find a good man
  • you’ll always be alone with that attitude
  • you’ll never get a man if you treat him as guilty from the start
  • your hate and mistrust will keep you from finding happiness

Does she?

I don’t think so. I think it’s common for everyone to put on their sensitivity cloaks and say yes.. this woman suffered a massive trauma, from which it will take her a very long time to heal and will have difficulty trusting in the gender that she projects as her tormentor  The expectation would always be on the man, any man, to be sensitive to her with regards to her mistrust of sexual intimacy and allow her time to regain a trust that was so violently shattered.

It would be stupid to say this woman never wants to feel intimacy with a member of the opposite sex because of the way she responds to external stimuli at this very moment. Just because she recoils at touch now does not mean she never wants to be touched again. She just needs time, therapy and a patient person to be there to help her work through and resolve the matter of regaining trust. Even after all of that it will be an uphill battle.

This expectation only goes in one direction.

There’s a reason why i used rape as an analogy in my incel post. Because the effects of isolation and dehumanization are as traumatic and far reaching.

In a world where every woman wants her ReadyMadeMan™ right out of the box, where he leaves all his baggage at the curb, is absolutely confident, awesome and amazing in every way, 24 hours a day, without any problems of his own to prevent him from taking her on the wild adventure in her mind and life simultaneously thus providing her with the entitlement fantasy she’s yearned for since childhood in becoming either a fairy tale princess or being chosen by a thousand year old Vampire to become his Vampiress (of all the thousands of women he could choose over his lifetime)…

…well there’s no room in there for someone like me now is there.

While i’ve been in LIMBO, it came to me as an epiphany that i will never have a healthy relationship.

EVER.

I’m too damaged and will not be given the opportunity to heal this wound or given time to regain trust. Perhaps it may have been possible when i was still blue pill. Not now.

It came to me when my friend invited me over to a gathering of her relatives. They all talked about me heading to Poland and picking up with a Polish girl to wife up, not fucked up in the head like those crazy ‘North American’ girls, etc.. and in the back of my mind i realized i’m too far gone. I have nothing to offer a non-crazy woman as they described.. because the experiences of the past and the sphere’s teaching to me have dissuaded me from becoming just another cog in the feminine imperative. I’m MGTOW. I’m not going to get married. I’m not going to have kids. And i’m too old. I’d need a minimum of 5 years with someone to get to feel that we were good together and that the relationship was solid and that she followed the Captain/First Officer model. That would make me 42-43 if i met her tomorrow. Sorry, i don’t want to be a dad after 40. And i’m not about to jump into a relationship just to be a dad 6 months later. No. No. NO.

But beyond that.. i can’t even have a ‘normal’ relationship with any woman.. especially here in North America. My defenses are always on high. My finger is always on the trigger. I’m ready to verbally murder a woman with redpill and manosphere knowledge at the very first sign of a woman behaving in even 1 degree of deviation from red pill thought. It’s why i recused myself from debating at Hooking Up Smart. The female imperative is my *trigger* alert.

Why? Read the rest of this entry ?