There are NiceGirls™ all around us
February 7, 2013
You’re too Nice dear.
Ever see the girl who loves cooking breakfast for a douchebag?
Ever know a girl who really likes getting her boyfriend a beer?
Ever witnessed a girl make a sammich for her lover?
Ever heard about a woman who picks up after, cleans and does the laundry of her special guy?
Ever read dating and advice columns about women asking what more they can do to get their significant other to un-equivocally commit to them?
Ever had to listen to some vapid chick cry about how hard she tries to please her man sexually, giving him every request he wants without getting her needs fulfilled, faking her orgasms or just getting the wham bam jackhammer thank you m’aam treatment.. and then asking why he’s still so distant?
Ever hear a woman weep after being berated, humiliated, shoved, abused by her man.. and defend her man saying he’s really not like that, he’s a good person, just give him time?
Ever hear all of this from a woman who simply felt an expectation that doing these things were part of building a relationship towards the goal of commitment?
Ever hear a woman call a man a commitment-phoebe?
Ever hear all of these women pour forth a river of tears , shrieking in agony and cursing to the heavens about how they did everything to keep the relationship going, how awful these horrible men were for not pouring in the same amount of effort, how he’s a creep, a loser, immature, peter pan, man boy child, not ready for a serious relationship and how he wouldn’t man up to take the relationship to the “next level“?
The vitriol that bursts forth from their lips when cold, harsh reality sinks in as her mind awakens to the fact that all her efforts were for naught, all the while receiving cold comfort and validation from a security blanket of female friends, a gaggle of hens who curse the stupid awful mean man who simply refused to appreciate her epic awesomeness to perform his duty to the imperative and commit to her.
We see it all the time but never call it out for what it is because we live in a world that gives primacy and validation for the female preferred method of both promiscuity and attaining commitment.
It’s the rules of GirlWorld™.
THE NICE PARADOX. TO BE NICE IS TO CEDE POWER.
The person who desperately wants the relationship more (the one without power) and is willingly giving what is needed by their partner/person of interest without any return of reciprocal needs where there is expectation is thus acting in the manner of a Nice™ person. When you want something more than the other person, and you are willing to sacrifice your dignity, dreams and desire for it, when you know something is beyond your reach, but you continue to pile on futile attempts to get someone to change their mind, you’re being Nice™.
This is mostly realized in the form of going after someone who has more options than you. Instead of stepping back and saying ‘Fine, enjoy your options.. i won’t play nice’.. they are desperate to hang onto the dream. The construct of the mind. The fabricated romance they’ve envisioned in a fluffy future of happily ever after. If only i just do that one more thing…
Being Nice™ is an act of helpless desperation, of hanging onto a life preserver, hoping to turn the hopeless into hope. Both genders are guilty.
Remember. No one should be ‘convinced’ to be with you. They should simply *want* to be with you.
Those who bitch and moan about it after the fact, do so simply for not having turned off the tap quick enough to avoid being abused and realizing they’ve sunk precious time, energy and investment into a person who could care less, earn the moniker of Nice™.
Tho it’s time women started getting called out for being Nice™ too.
You don’t deserve anything. Relationships are your responsibility, and so is stopping yourself from wasting effort on a dead end. Make your intentions clear, do not expect them to mind read you. Ignore bullshit platitudes of ‘friends first’ or other female-centric nonsense. THIS shit needs to stop!
You make you’re intentions known and you act upon whatever answer you get. The more women that are forced to accept losing precious platonic, emotional and meaningful support for their choice addiction to tingle inducing douchebaggery and ‘assholes’, perhaps it will allow their hypergamy to evolve, to include in their mating choices that what they cannot easily get once you read this, tightened up your sphincter, let your balls drop and say enough is enough. Stop playing nice. Play for keeps.
The hardest thing i ever had to internalize. Women don’t want you to ‘give’ them love. They can’t value something they didn’t have to do anything for it. Something they had to beat other women for.
And always keep this in the back of your minds fellas. You do not win a woman’s love by showing her you love her. You win a woman’s love by being someone she admires, looks up to and respects enough to FIGHT other women to earn your love. Only then when you show it will it have value. This cannot be done as ‘friends’ first because then you will be giving them everything they require without having to earn it or fight for it. And if it’s not something they want from *YOU*.. why would you give it to them anyways?
JUST SAY NO TO LET’S JUST BE FRIENDS
Be very loud and vocal about this. If you want an intimate relationship and she just wants friendship.
No. NO. N-O. Spells no. I have enough friends. Goodbye.
To the women who want commitment, you must claim early on that you want it, no assumptions just because you hooked up with him and hope that your magical vagina music will hold him in check. If delusion is what you seek, then continue your policy of don’t ask. Your favors and great treatment of him may be utilized (as well as your vagina) until long after you realize “‘he just wasn’t the into you, except for his penis“. If you don’t put goals of commitment in front of him right away, and you don’t receive your need requirements returned to you for your efforts.. but you stay and continue with eyes wide closed hoping he comes around if you just keep bringing him his beer and sammich’s..
..and then you find out he’s been spinning plates and fucking Sleazy Suzy, Slutty Sally and Rawdog Rhianna..
..and you go bitching to all your girlfriends, the advice columns, Salon.com, and call all men dogs, animals that only think with their dicks, and you’re Plenty of Fish profile reads like a crazy woman who let herself get abused one too many times riding the alpha cock carousel..
YOU JUST MIGHT BE A NASTY NOT SO NICE NICEGIRL™
No one is entitled to a relationship cupcake.
You only get it when your partner feels you are both worthy of it and earned it. Hooking up, and hoping for the best..
Nice™.
Start calling them on it.
Guys only get this when the woman feels they’ve earned the right to mate
Girls only get this when the man they’re with decides that she’s proved she provides value to his life and is worth hanging onto.
Next post is for the girls. How to let a NiceGuy go and possibly earn a real friend in return…
M3 
“The hardest thing i ever had to internalize. Women don’t want you to ‘give’ them love.”
The first commandment of poon. The hardest to follow yet most important.
That was well said, I think. But I wouldn’t call it ‘nice’ so much as supplication. No one respects a supplicant (male or female), you have to value yourself before others value you.
Sorry for the double post, but I don’t think self-value should come across as arrogance. To me, arrogance is a sign of overcompensating deeply seeded insecurity.
I used to be that too nice girl, and am probably still shedding the last few layers of it. A few of those points you mentioned definitely sounded familiar to me, but it’s all built on the fallacy that by giving more, you receive more (respect, admiration, affection, etc). It’s not true. A lot of men will actually treat a woman better when she respects herself enough to know when she’s doing too much heavy lifting for him in the relationship, can call him out on bullshit, and isn’t afraid to voice her opinion diplomatically (not arrogantly).
I’m kind of slow.
It took me a while to get this.
NiceGuy, NiceGirl. Two sides of the same coin.
The NiceGuy acts nice to get the girl and then when he inevitably fails, he gets pissed off. So girls say he’s not really a nice guy, he’s a NiceGuy. He’s only acting nice because he wants to get in her pants.
There are two varieties of NiceGirls:
1. The long suffering, ever patient, always there girl with the asshole douchebag who treats her like shit and she laps it up like honey; who then cries to her GFs and her emotional tampon beta orbiters when she finds out the d-bag has been cheating on her, or he beats her, or does some other douchey thing.
2. The girl who keeps beta orbiters and emotional tampons, and LJBFs them when they get too close. She keeps them close enough to be orbiters and tampons, close enough that they are useful to her; but far enough away that they can never become romantic attachments.
There’s another variety of NiceGirl. The ones too young to know they are being played by douche-bag assholes. My first boyfriend was a douche-bag asshole. There’s a learning curve.
Hey M3, I gave you a huge shout out on my blog post. I had never heard of MGTOW until your blog. When I did, I researched it, and I liked what I found. It was pretty much what I needed. I did not need ‘game’ to get all these whores around me, I did it, and it was shallow.
Why could I not be happy on my own? Apart from this fucked up man-hating society.
Thanks man, reading that post like a month ago set a lot of things into motion.
I like this post because it further cements something in my mind that I didn’t realize before: How putting my personal side out there too early for a woman if the other side of the coin where women put their bodies out too early for men. This was something that I was Completely missing for the longest time, and have recently come to see as the order of things. This is probably the Red Pill finally taking hold (after years of being Blue Pill, and a year ago, finally “Manning Up”, in the true sense of the phrase, and telling some soul-sucking LJBF to take a hike). It’s liberating to see these pieces falling into place and finally understand even a little more about how I have been messing things up. Thanks Bro.
BDubs
I think “nice” is getting too much negative reputation. It’s nothing more than being pleasant, IMO. It has its use – when you are in a formal conversation with someone. When it comes to romance, being supplicating, dating the wrong people and having unreasonable expectations are the faults.
sorta-OT… I had some other thoughts along this line in the past few days. Thanks to a post and nest of links from Martel…
http://www.returnofkings.com/2090/how-black-america-has-predicted-our-future
…I’ve all but decided that MGTOW is ultimately destructive. MGTOW gives men free reign to simply and totally opt-out of the family creation process, just as feminism tries to convince women they don’t need fathers to scratch their reproductive itches. As you can see in that second link, that is a fatal societal mistake. Moreover, avoiding the unfair and risk-only marriage situation is a GAMMA move, not alpha. These women who abuse the courts bias to destroy men’s lives, destroy mens futures, destroy their families all for their own selfish self-interest need to be confronted. These women and this social/legal structure needs to be confronted, in their face, on a grand scale. THAT would be an ALPHA move that women would essentially be forced to respect. Simply avoiding their absurd behavior makes no social change, and enables those women who would start families with no fathers.
As you can see from those links, fatherless families are a quick way to destroy a civilization. Avoiding the poor behavior of women leaves the women who want to have children to their own devices. This only reinforces the path we’re on, it does nothing to turn things around.
This is not to say that MGTOW is not a healthy place for a newly-red-pill man with a long history of beta pain to be for a while, but ultimately we should all be trying to be fathers, and good ones.
Just IMO. Sorry for the OT.
Jeremey
I won’t disagree that MGTOW is destructive ultimately to society, i made the argument on another blog that men ‘not manning up’ and taking on social responsibilities is just as much a dereliction of duty as a woman delaying having children in her early fertile years to go fuck around and have fun.
One is forced and reactionary. One is a choice.
Watch this video by GirlWritesWhat.
She hits the same nail on the head. Men went out and did things ‘manning up’ not because they wanted to, but because it was deemed necessary, both for keeping the tribe alive, and to show prospective mates their value.
Why would a man want to do all these things if todays women aren’t holding up their end of the stick by wanting to mate early and become mothers and children early. They delay it for education and carousel riding, men follow suit, and xbox and gtow.
Women delaying marriage and having kids was a choice. Men going their own way is a reaction to that choice. Can’t pin it on the dudes.
Well-said. Have you seen this Ann Barnhardt video?
She calls out the false virtue of “niceness”.
@M3,
Ya, I saw and loved that video by GWW. I have no argument with anything you say or what she says. I also have no counter to the absurd situation that men are being placed in to as Dalrock says, “man up and marry the sluts”, it’s ridiculous and unfair.
I still don’t see MGTOW or the “arming up” (through learning of game) of betas into alphas as ultimately good for society. Society NEEDS BETA MEN, ultimately. BETA men en masse are the movers and shakers, they’re the guys who get things done (again, in masses), they take out your trash, they fix your electricity, they invent facebook, they improve your smartphone. Yes, the alphas lead and take the glory, but they are NOT the creative males. Alpha male and creativity are far removed. When you take away any society rewards for those guys (which is already happening/has already happened depending on your culture), you remove any need for the average male to participate in society.
I think the question we’re hinging on is whether or not this society is worth saving. Learning to game the women/MGTOW is a fair individual reaction given the circumstances but does nothing on a societal level to stop the inherently poor behavior.
Rather, I think the guys should be starting massive legal funds. I’d much rather donate 50% of my income to a legal fund to fight the family court injustice than hand it to a future unhaaaapy wife.
Sunshinemary: This comment reminds me of something I heard in an Ethics class: That such attitudes are, in fact, very selfish. I remember having a rather unsettled afternoon after I got out of that class (cognitive dissonance leading to understanding the truth).
Sunshinemary: This also gives a new insight into the branding of “NiceGuy”: the whole evolution of the word through meaning such as Ignorant, uneducated, “silly” just give an even sharper edge to being called “Nice” by a girl (or guy, for the ladies).
From LJBF’er: “Oh you’re just such nice guy”= “Oh, you’re so ignorant in how to deal with me (, I might as well use this for all I can)”. More of that Red Pill sinking in here.
It truly is astounding the insight one can gain from finally interacting with those who can understand the knowledge that one is seeking.
Thank you for posting this video.
I gave society 24 years of military service and in return society gave me… a shit sandwich. I’ll help out the usa as soon as society values God fearing, heterosexual White men again. Until then, society is on its own
Jeremy, I understand your idealism, but to say that it is the lowest gamma/omega to not get married because its a sham really lacks rationality.
That is like saying ‘just because SOME people get burned playing with fire, it is COWARDLY to avoid fire!’
No, it is just rationale.
I’m just gonna leave this here.
We men are told that women get conflicting messages. Women tell us they feel like they have to slut it up and put out to get relationships. They also tell us they want nice guys, and relationships with those nice guys.
I would believe that if women were actually sleeping with the nice guys they say they want.
So when women sleep with a man ostensibly for a relationship, why is it always the douchebag they sleep with?
THEY ARE NOT SLEEPING WITH HIM FOR THE RELATIONSHIP.
THEY ARE SLEEPING WITH HIM FOR THE SEX.
Agreed Deti. As I argued back on SSM’s blog, the relationship rationale is pure hamster rationalization. They wanted alpha sex, and got it.
You might find this blog post on Novaseeker’s blog informative. He’s posted a few thoughts of mine on how to understand the female thought process as far as categorizing men.
http://veritaslounge.com/2013/02/10/interlude-donalgraemes-charts-of-attraction/
Deti, I’ve never had sex with a douchebag. Perhaps you are hanging out with the wrong crowd?
Liz:
Women tell us that they want relationships. they say they want relationships. They cry over their lack of a relationship.
But then, many of them go out and have sex with a douchebag, and say it is because they thought the d-bag would want to see them again if they did.
My point is, if they want relationships, why not approach the men who are more likely to give them that? Answer: Because they don’t really want relationships. What they want is the hot man. If she can’t get him for a relationships, she’ll take him for sex.
There are a lot of women who don’t value themselves and have sex with men in an effort to feel more valuable. Paradoxically, this results in the opposite…they are used, have allowed themselves to be used, and the self-loathing intensifies (by contrast, men usually feel better about themselves after such encounters).
They’re basically spoiled forever at that point because anyone who has a relationship with someone who loaths themselves is in a position where they can’t be valued by that (self-loathing) person either. If you hate yourself, anyone who wants to be with you is also a loser.
Women who loath themselves don’t put it together this way, like most deeply-seeded psychological mechanisms it’s not overt.
@Erudite Knight
I don’t want to disagree with you, I want to agree with you. I guess I’m saying that the decision to go your own way is a correct individual decision given the circumstances that many of us face. However, it is a disastrous decision when made en masse. It should not be recommended or endorsed by the manosphere or MRM, just IMHO. I say this even though I know that most anyone in the manosphere might secretly encourage their individual friends to do so, and might even be correct to do so.
Liz is right on when she says, “There are a lot of women who don’t value themselves and have sex with men in an effort to feel more valuable.”
What it boils down to is that we are all objects/commodities within the sociosexual marketplace, and there is no way around this. Both traditional and modern society hide this truth underneath various facades.
Starting from early childhood, kids organize into status hierarchies and are accutely aware of where everyone fits in. Some of the cool kids might find some of the uncool kids “nice” but that doesn’t mean they will be their friends on a social/public level or do anything that would risk their own status, and will even join in on the bullying of their “friend” to impress the cool people.
Ultimately there really is no such thing as “true”(only based on nice qualities such as character) friendship, true attraction, true love or true anything – darwinistic forces underly all.
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@deti: I like how you put the relationship/sex line.
Girls hate sex. They only spread their legs for Alpha cock to get a relationship. Right. How completely selfish of them. Girl version of sacrifice?
Fine. Guys also hate sex. They only hunt for young, thin women with firm breasts and buttocks because they want the best possible genes for their children. Think of the children. Oh please won’t somebody think of the children. There is nothing else in it for them.
Once we have the male contraceptive worked out the kids will be fine. Guys will be able to man up and go for what they really like. A loud high maintenance coal burner with enough miles on her to circle the globe. An alpha widow that’s seen enough back roads to write a book. Forget the crotch rocket. We want a Harley. Consider her sold. Where do I sign.
The difference is that for women, even the NiceGirls can be promiscuous and obtain sex easily. They still have both options.
Does anyone else notice the subliminal phallic symbol (a straight up penis) embedded in the first photo above?
“Once we have the male contraceptive worked out the kids will be fine.”
Male contraception has been worked out for a few hundred years already: CONDOM.
[…] No. You are not entitled to dick. You are not entitled to a relationship. Stop being a NiceGirl(tm) […]
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