Toronto. We’re all melting here. I fucking hate heat waves.
The sun is out, it’s sweltering, you head into the convenience store and open the mini freezer to pick out an ice cream bar. Two items catch your eye. They both look identical.
Both sell for $3.99 (damn rippoff if you ask me).
So on the surface we see two delectable items that have the same investment cost, but we drill down a little deeper.
One is sold by Haagendaz, a company well renowned by connoisseurs of the sweet stuff. Known for their rich and creamy goods being of only the finest quality, even if fattening.. it’s the indulgence factor. Just ask Lindy West. We know what we’re getting here by the ingredients. Pure cream, sugar, caramel, chocolate coating and a sprinkle of nuts.
The other is sold by the Acme Biohazard Disposal Company. It comes in a plain plastic wrapper with a biohazard logo on it. It lists as it’s main ingredients seagull shit, diarrhea, aged semen and fever blister pus sprinkled with assorted abscess particles.
Seriously… at what point are you even going to entertain spending your money on a donkey diarrhea bar?
M3 