Online Dating – Toronto PoF Edition

Private Man’s post over here reminded me of one such incident i had a while back that was post worthy, but i never got around to. I also had a very insightful chat with a very good woman who i had mischaracterized in one of my posts called TOXIC WATERS. She actually emailed me and asked me to redact her info [And i obliged. Turns out she’s very much a girl like Stingray and just happened to write one silly line i grabbed onto while looking for monsters to kill the night i made that post. She got caught in my net.]

With that behind us.. welcome to Online Dating in Toronto!

Kill it with Fire!

Keep in mind:

1. This took place a few months ago, before i found my girl
2. I was punching well “below” my weight here (explain in a second)
3. I bit my tongue and went above and beyond a gentlemanly response.

I had a telephone chat with Danny during and around the Christmas break and was telling him that i was intentionally punching below my weight.. more as an experiment and less as a means of finding someone. I wanted to see the dysfunction of the SMP for myself by actively courting the lesser averages to the dregs of the SMP to see whether they knew their own correct value.

Aside from most women not even responding (thus telling me they are either inundated with emails, simply there for ego validation, extremely skewed in their belief they can hold out for Brad Pitt.. or fake profiles) I did get a few responses that told me everything i needed to know about today’s dating scene, online or otherwise that would guide my future fore into the world of courtship. A world where i would not court based on placating or jumping hoops, but effectively screening these same dregs away with a filter that would make Sir. HEPA proud.

And i consequently did that by writing the most up front, no nonsense, high word count, character limit profile of my life on PoF. One that had women actively soliciting me, more so just to tell me they appreciated a man who knows what he wants even if we weren’t compatible. It also helped me end up where i am today.

But on this one day (which i could accurately say was the majority of my days on PoF and OKC) i ran into women like this one.. who if they responded.. were trouble right from the start.

Perhaps they were burned once too often by alpha’s and pua’s that they were simply reacting instead of thinking? Perhaps.. guess they still have a ways to go before they learn how to build a better filter. This one certainly has much work left ahead of her:

So here i find this girl who has an ‘average‘ body type (which in online dating runs the gamut between the threshold of a cutey with just a small layer of baby fat over the belly and big dimples to the outer limits of swimming with the Manatees). I took a stab at this one who i garnered was below me in terms of SMV since:

• She smokes / I don’t (except on holidays derp)
• She’s getting over the hill / i’m hitting my prime
• She’s average body type / i’m p90x styels
• She’s got high school / i’ve got some business college cred
• She’s 5’1 and i’m towering over her at 5’11 so her average is spread out over a smaller frame, and she gets her requirement of a tall man met as well

In the SMV sweepstakes, i’m blowing this girl out of the water, yet here i am basically scuttling my own Battleship by sinking it in order to meet her (or creating an artificial reef for her to lay waste to school’s of plankton). Objectively speaking this can’t be denied.

Toxic Waters

[edit: May 28. 2013 – contacted by one of the women i linked to. I’ve disabled all the links, tho most were already dead. She engaged me in brief conversation, some of which i’ve taken to heart. Nevertheless, the post stays up, at least as a continuing lesson to the reality that men must face of constant solipsistic women who wouldn’t have one iota of a clue what men face in the digital arena of online dating, and how women can better improve their profiles by taking much of PrivateMan’s advice instead of feminist Grrrlpower advice.]

“And the second angel poured out his vial on the sea; and it became as the blood of a dead man: and every living soul died in the sea.”

<< Revelation 16:3 >>

Something foul in the water

There is something wrong with the water.

I have heard stories about how pitiful the dating scene in Toronto is. Apparently it’s been talked about here, here and here. I mean.. when you make it onto Roosh’s forum, it’s bad.. very bad. As bad as Washington DC? I dunno.. but something is definitely most foul emanating off Lake Ontario.

I have tried online dating in the past, and still been trolling the waters as of late, but i’ve been dredging up nothing but toxic sludge from the bottom of the deep dank and dark places under the surface.

I’ve had more conversations with women from the U.S. than my own city. The ratio of messages to responses is a fucking joke.

I can count on my hands the number of returns i’ve gotten after the hundreds of messages i’ve put out. Some really well though out shit.. POOF.. nothing. So when you come across a profile that begs the guy to put more effort into writing something beyond a cut/paste routine.. you tend to want to tell this woman off in the kindest way possible. Okie dokey.

Part of me is seriously considering an expat move which would simply involve me obtaining a copy of Rosetta Stone language instruction for Polish so i can learn what i failed in my childhood. My own native language. A world of possibilities could open up with just this one act.

(side note, i came across a very cute polish lass at my best man’s sons birthday party. Mid to late 20’s, very sweet, and looked promising. Sadly she’ll be leaving back for Poland shortly. Hopefully i’ll get to meet her again before she goes back and i get to plant the idea *inception style* of her wanting to return to come back to me. Very interested in my photography, behooves me to try and go pro with it. Also, she knows my Polish blows donkey balls so if i got proficient at it.. i think she’d be impressed. Besides.. talking dirty in a language she understands better would make things so much more exciting. I need to be better than just understanding the language, i need to *think* it!)

Ok. so back to the computer version of fishing in the Dead Sea.

Oh, you want more than just ‘Hi whasup?’ even tho you probably got 500 bazillion emails and you’re going to delete mine right away even if i wrote out a message that rivaled War & Peace in terms of word count.. well alright here you go.. words upon words upon words. Not enough? Here.. perhaps a little blood to go along with it to show my sincerity! Not enough still? Take my life while you’re at it! You want my soul too?

There’s been a rash of posts coming out about dating scene stuff. Just got an email from the not so Private Man’s blog about women’s piss poor dating profiles and how to fix them. Here’s an excerpt:

It’s both humorous and sad to read so many female online dating profiles where women proudly shout their independence and tout their travel adventures and careers as selling points to a rich and fulfilling relationship. Worse, they use the codewords that reveal a bossy and domineering nature.

He goes on to discuss how some women have actually taken his advice and ran with it, creating good profiles. I’ll add all his linkage here too because i think it’s all wonderfully sound stuff.

Online Profiles Used By Bossy And Domineering Women

Helpful Hint For A Woman’s Online Dating Profile

A Dating Exercise For Women – Amazing Follow-Up

Hooking Up Smart – Choose Attraction

Heartiste even came up with a post about women who have caught on to the rise of game and how to respond to these game aware women,  tho one must wonder.. using the old maxim “The first step in avoiding a trap is knowing of the traps existence”.. how does one avoid something when it is the trap IS the very thing actively being sought?

Listen to Seafood! It knows your nature.

Is OKC fucking with my mind?

Seriously. Like WTF? Am i on hallucinogenics?

Ok.. so i’m trying this shit again.. because my best friend told me i shouldn’t have any issue putting myself out there to look for a little fun now that i dropped all that toxic nonsense behind. LJBF my candy ass. So i nail up a profile that i think is vague and aloof enough, but containing enough words and subtle innuendo’s for the smarter ones to catch onto. Still i should be interacting on the streets and in the pubs, approach style like the sphere says i should. Yet i take the plunge into this morass just out of moribund curiosity to see if anything would be different that the last time when i was pathetically beta with a pathetic beta profile verklempt with all manner of inane professions of looking for ‘the one‘. Boy did my esteem take a hit way back when on Plenty of Attention Whor… Fish.

Are you the ‘One’?

So hows it going?

Well it’s still a shit show to be sure.

Whereas now i actually have had conversations with some of the women at a ratio of 10 sends to 1 reply, which certainly beat my previous ratio of 100 sends to 0 replies, there still seems to be an ongoing pattern and as of late.. something smells ‘fishy’ and we’re not talking about the plenty of variety here.

A great majority of the conversations are quick quips of back n forth minimalistic one liners loaded with humor, touch of innuendo and flirtation. They go about 5 messages long before i take it towards grabbing a drink and meeting at a venue. Then it’s poof, they vanish.. or flake .. or come up with an excuse as to why they can’t. I feel like i’m just feeding ego’s… even tho i’m not actually complimenting them unless it’s really subtle and not overt.

I’m actually having a great convo with what seems like an either really hilarious married chick, or a homicidal crazy, kill me with a shovel and bury me with it to type of woman. Flip a coin it’ll go either way. If this blog goes silent anytime soon, you’ll know.

But on at least 2 occasions.. the girl i started talking to because her pictures where hot.. all of a sudden 3 conversations in i go back to check her profile and it’s like SWEET HOLY MOTHER OF GOD pour some hand sanitizer into my eyes and burn down the fucking internet! WTF HAPPENED?