Posts Tagged ‘commitment’

h1

There’s never was any hope for Humpty Dumpty

December 8, 2012

Let me ask you a question.

If a woman is raped.. how long does it take for her to get ‘back on the horse’ as it were? Does she get berated with things like

  • you’re really bitter and resentful about it
  • you gotta let it go if you want to move forward and find a good man
  • you’ll always be alone with that attitude
  • you’ll never get a man if you treat him as guilty from the start
  • your hate and mistrust will keep you from finding happiness

Does she?

I don’t think so. I think it’s common for everyone to put on their sensitivity cloaks and say yes.. this woman suffered a massive trauma, from which it will take her a very long time to heal and will have difficulty trusting in the gender that she projects as her tormentor  The expectation would always be on the man, any man, to be sensitive to her with regards to her mistrust of sexual intimacy and allow her time to regain a trust that was so violently shattered.

It would be stupid to say this woman never wants to feel intimacy with a member of the opposite sex because of the way she responds to external stimuli at this very moment. Just because she recoils at touch now does not mean she never wants to be touched again. She just needs time, therapy and a patient person to be there to help her work through and resolve the matter of regaining trust. Even after all of that it will be an uphill battle.

This expectation only goes in one direction.

There’s a reason why i used rape as an analogy in my incel post. Because the effects of isolation and dehumanization are as traumatic and far reaching.

In a world where every woman wants her ReadyMadeMan™ right out of the box, where he leaves all his baggage at the curb, is absolutely confident, awesome and amazing in every way, 24 hours a day, without any problems of his own to prevent him from taking her on the wild adventure in her mind and life simultaneously thus providing her with the entitlement fantasy she’s yearned for since childhood in becoming either a fairy tale princess or being chosen by a thousand year old Vampire to become his Vampiress (of all the thousands of women he could choose over his lifetime)…

…well there’s no room in there for someone like me now is there.

While i’ve been in LIMBO, it came to me as an epiphany that i will never have a healthy relationship.

EVER.

I’m too damaged and will not be given the opportunity to heal this wound or given time to regain trust. Perhaps it may have been possible when i was still blue pill. Not now.

It came to me when my friend invited me over to a gathering of her relatives. They all talked about me heading to Poland and picking up with a Polish girl to wife up, not fucked up in the head like those crazy ‘North American’ girls, etc.. and in the back of my mind i realized i’m too far gone. I have nothing to offer a non-crazy woman as they described.. because the experiences of the past and the sphere’s teaching to me have dissuaded me from becoming just another cog in the feminine imperative. I’m MGTOW. I’m not going to get married. I’m not going to have kids. And i’m too old. I’d need a minimum of 5 years with someone to get to feel that we were good together and that the relationship was solid and that she followed the Captain/First Officer model. That would make me 42-43 if i met her tomorrow. Sorry, i don’t want to be a dad after 40. And i’m not about to jump into a relationship just to be a dad 6 months later. No. No. NO.

But beyond that.. i can’t even have a ‘normal’ relationship with any woman.. especially here in North America. My defenses are always on high. My finger is always on the trigger. I’m ready to verbally murder a woman with redpill and manosphere knowledge at the very first sign of a woman behaving in even 1 degree of deviation from red pill thought. It’s why i recused myself from debating at Hooking Up Smart. The female imperative is my *trigger* alert.

Why? Read the rest of this entry ?