I Found Feminists in Orthodontics

August 6, 2013

I’ve started on the damn elastics in my ortho treatment (Yay.. kill me)

I happened to notice some prominent feminists on the packaging.

First they prescribed me the really strong, single elastics i was supposed to loop around each individual button/hook in my mouth. A total of 3 per side, very daunting. Super tought, strong, hyper masculine and impossible to deal with, as it gave no leeway and was extremely stubborn.

Then i noticed Amanda Marcotte on the package and it all made sense.

IMAG1004Mighty manjaw was too much for me.

So i went back to the doc and said:

“Yo, it’s too bloody time consuming and damn well near impossible to loop all these single elastics. It’s like fighting with a brick wall, you know you’re going to lose. Do you have anything softer, more pliable? Something that will stretch out easier and cover a wider area, so i can do all 3 on each side with one loop?”

Sure enough they had a solution.

They gave me the Lindy West treatment.



You may now return your tray tables to the down and unlocked position and are now free to move about the cabin.


  1. Aww, man. I had those Mountain Gorilla rubber bands on the braces as a teenager. They were indeed a bitch.

  2. I wore my braces before the elastics had animals on the bags. I feel for ya though. It was a very special kind of agony.

  3. ultimately, there is an elephant in the room, by the name of andrea dworkin.

  4. The pictures are right. But a feminist would never call a gorilla a gorilla or a manatee a manatee. The gorilla would be labeled ‘dangerous diva’ and the manatee ‘real woman’.

  5. @ Liz

    Very thankful that i was not drinking coffee at the moment i read your comment.

    I fear my monitors would not have survived the drenching of my super LOL spitake all over them.

  6. you freaking misogynist’s…

    this is what a feminist really looks like:


  7. and this is what a real man ™ looks like…


  8. and whomever made this aweful meme is a basement dwelling MGTOW virgin…


  9. Is this David H. Guy for real??
    Or is he Just a troll???

  10. @ Xdust

    David H. is a parody of the real Fat Futrelle.

    He comes in and makes a bunch of comments usually with slapstick, sarcastic or completely contradictory posts to show the hypocrisy of the real David’s positions. It’s quite amusing. I’d like him to swing by more often.

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