Like installing a Pacemaker into a corpse..

January 10, 2013

…technology cannot save the institution of marriage. For North America.. it’s flat lined. Tag it and bag it, it’s usefulness in a society built upon the premise of independence mentality and zero obligations to maintain one.. not to mention the legal turmoil one might get embroiled in if stupid enough to go through with it today make it’s purpose  outlived and downright dangerous.

Women marrying for show and status, not for necessity. Men marrying out of shaming and archaic beliefs of love, honor and commitment.

And a divorce rate that goes on and on like the Energizer rabbit.

But oh that “male” driven marriage industry (lololololz) continually finds new ways to innovate and remain relevant today. Introducing the Proposal App!

New app teaches guys how to propose to their girlfriends


Proposing marriage is the most important question you’ll ever ask,” says Beryl Raff,  chairman of the company that created the app

Because yeah… the whole problem with why marriage is on the decline today is because proposals are down because guys are just too dumb to know how to propose.

Good one Hamster.. good one.

Thankfully i have an Android phone, thus will be spared the indignity of seeing this worthless app in Google Play.

With much hilarity i have to point out that Jizzaballz Laura Beck produced one whopper of a sentiment in this article, given that a) women need men like fish need bicycles and b) SusnshineMary started a conversation about Sexbots and robotic lovin (emphasis mine):

“On one hand, it’s cool that there’s something available to hold (in) the hand of a nervous person (man) who’s ready to pop the question — everyone needs friends/robots to share in life’s big decisions! On the other, proposing is so personal, and things like finding the right location and writing a memorable proposal are probably things an app shouldn’t be able to help with,” she writes.

See, even Laura thinks we need robots to help us out with our… needs.

Best comment goes to MZT

“Stupid article…in typical yahoo feminist fashion the author never bothered to talk to the guys who might actually use it…instead she quotes a radical feminst blogger….maybe they should make a version of this app for cats to use with their owners and then the jezebel bloggers can actually see the app in action before they comment.”

Well, we all know this stupid app will be useless in the hands of women. They don’t do the proposin’.. so since this is the MANoshpere.. lets take it to a vote shall we? Maybe consider this a focus group for the app maker (and confirm the marriagestrike is still on shall we?)

[Updated Poll with more option goodness]


  1. Why oh why is this in existence?
    Makes me cry inside…

  2. On the subject of diamonds, I am of the honest opinion that all men should refuse to buy women diamonds. There have been over 500,000 male deaths in diamond wars in the past decade or more, for a piece of stone that is artificially restricted in supply by an international monopoly to strip developed-world men of more money than they are worth, all for women’s socio-economic status desires and threats of relationship strain.

    I will tell any woman, to her face, that I will never buy her a diamond. I think all other developed-world men should be doing the same. I will do the precous-gem-mining-camp thing if she really wants a diamond; but I refuse, absolutely refuse, to purchase those stones that were already paid for on the blood of men far more subjugated than I.

    DeBeers can go fuck themselves.

  3. I find opals to be far nicer looking anyway…

  4. where’s the app that helps me steer clear of man hating radfems?

  5. Funny you bring up the diamond. I had the exact same conversation with a female coworker about diamond engagement rings. I mentioned how stupid it was in:
    -an era where women can/usually make as much/more than a man
    -how archaic the concept a requirement of a ring is for modern independent women who are not obligated to honor the obligation of being claimed if accepted
    -how it’s a debt riddled burden imposed on the man to show ‘love’ with no reciprocal materialistic commodity coming to the man
    -how the law classifies it as a gift that the woman can keep even if she breaks the contract and later divorces

    For my trouble i got the roll-eyes and obligatory ‘Well, you’ll never end up with anyone with that attitude’.

    Bit. My. Fucking. Tongue.

    Should have said ‘I should be so lucky to avoid materialistic cretins who quantify love by shiny rocks’

    DeBeers. Tied in a dead heat with Monsanto and Wolfram&Hart for most evil corporations of all time.

  6. Too soft for a ring.

    I’d go with something smexy and unique like aquamarine or sapphire.

  7. Better idea.


    My imaginary future wife is so wet right now.

  8. Too soft? That’s odd…I’ve already bought myself 2 fire opal rings years ago, and they’ve never cracked or scuffed at all. Perhaps I’m misunderstanding what you mean.

    But if my imaginary future husband wants to get me a gemstone ring, I’d go with peridot. My favorite color is blue…but I’ve always loved the beautiful fresh green of peridot stones. It reminds me of new buds in springtime, and sleeping plants awakening again. Sappy, I know…but what do you expect from a Neo Pagan.

  9. Anna,

    Opal is pretty delicate, and if you accidentally drop it on a hard surface, or bang the ring on something, it can break pretty easily. It’s not a particularly prudent choice for a piece of jewelry considered that important, especially when set and worn on such an active body part.

    No man wants to deal with the emotional fallout caused by a shattered engagement ring.

    Peridot is nice, but as a man I have a preference for seraphinite and midnight lace obsidian.

    I do love opals, though. Especially the darker varieties.

  10. If she truly does “quantify love by shiny rocks”, I’d be tempted to say she was an Adiele penguin in her last life.

    Oh, wait…nevermind.
    Too monogamous.

  11. Ah, thanks for clearing that up. Other than my simple silver pentacle necklace, I only own 10 other pieces of jewelry. And even those are only worn for uber fancy events, so I’m extremely careful with them.

    I’ll agree with you about the obsidian…such a lovely stone. I myself have a 12mm Snowflake Obsidian poly set of dice that always roll very well for me. Crystal Caste makes some amazing “bling” for gamers!

  12. “No man wants to deal with the emotional fallout caused by a shattered engagement ring.”

    Ridiculous to the Nth degree. True, it would be a sad waste of funds, but it is only a pretty bauble. Rings can be replaced…people can’t. I cannot think of a single item I own that I would have an “emotional fallout” over if it was accidentally destroyed. I’d gladly live in a cardboard box if it somehow helped any one of my friends.

    One exception: my photo album with pictures of my late grandparents and great grandparents from various points in their lives. I’d be very upset if anything happened to that…

  13. Respectfully, madam:

    Prosecution rests.

  14. only a complete omega needs/likes/wants this app. fuck marriage. and if i WERE down to get married, proposing is NOT a big deal. honestly, i’d be more nervous negotiating a new car purchase than asking a woman to marry me.

  15. I’d be old fashioned and ask the father. Then after receiving his permission just tell the girl we are getting married.

  16. A gift is a gift regardless of its intention. Sorry bud, you chose to give it you can’t change your mind and take it back.

    In my ridiculous Disney version of life you give the ring as a sentiment of how much she means to you – at that time – if that changes well it doesnt decrease what u did feel.

    That said, I don’t think women are exempt from gift giving. In the circles I’ve run with many women give a watches (granted not as pricy but close) or other male baubles In return

    Again maybe I live in too Idyllic world and that’s what i would do. Sorry friend 😦 I promise there are good giving and beautiful intelligent women out there. Like we have to have an eye for the “kind hearted” guys need to be on alert for… Bitches.

    (also diamond are really forever. As other commentors noted other stones are fragile the opal being one of the
    Most fragile, I have a sapphire ring that chipped etc. the diamond is just kinda common sense)

  17. With 50+ percent rate of divorce and men getting shafted from anus to tonsils,

    I would rather say there are more important questions to ask than

    “Proposing marriage is the most important question you’ll ever ask,”

  18. Agreed.

    It’s like when society tells a woman “Your wedding day is the most important day of your life” or even better, “Your wedding day is all about *you*”. And then we have “reality” TV shows like Bridezilla, which only serve to glorify the American subculture of gimme, gimme, gimme. Disgraceful.

    Then those men and women who (sanely) choose to remain single and free are shamed or told we’re missing out. Right…

  19. Not to poke a hole in your idea, but what if the father thinks you’re the perfect son in law and says yes…but then his daughter says no?

    Happened to a coworker of mine years ago. It was awkward, to say the least!

    (Alternate scenario: She doesn’t have a father, either because he’s dead or she doesn’t speak to him anymore. Do you ask her mother instead?)

  20. I just presented my perfect scenario. She has every right to say no but I would hope by the time I get around to deciding marriage she’s invested enough into the relationship to see what high value I bring. If there is no father I’d just go straight to her.

    It shows more respect to the father to ask him.

  21. Interesting point of view. I see what you mean, and if I were to propose to my imaginary future husband, I’d certainly want to be sure of the relationship beforehand as well.

    The scenario doesn’t work for me, personally. If I found out that my fiance had gone behind my back and asked my father for my hand in marriage, I would be crushed. In my view, the first two people who should agree on the marriage are the ones actually DOING the marrying. It would be extremely painful to know that my future husband cares more about respecting my father than respecting me.

    In my perfect scenario, he would propose to me, I’d accept, then together as a unified couple we’d announce our decision to my parents and his parents. If I was the one doing the proposing, I’d want the same thing but would let him choose which set of parents to tell first.

    But, that’s just me. Hopefully your imaginary future wife would share the same traditional way of thinking, and be pleased you got her father’s “blessing”.

  22. I respect men (even the betas to an extent), I love women. That’s the difference.

    Back in the day the daughter was the father’s property until she got married. I still honor the code of not taking something from someone without their permission. It has nothing to do about respecting her. Obviously if I’m giving her commitment that shows quite a bit of love…especially in this day and age.

  23. With a woman the proposal should be the least important question. If you know her character by then, you’ve answered all the right questions.

  24. I feel like we’ll have to agree to disagree, but this is an interesting conversation.

    In my life, I love AND respect both sexes (if they prove themselves worthy of it). I don’t respect women and love men…to me that seems unbalanced.

    And the law of the land is different now. I’m not my father’s “property” anymore than you are your mother’s. Why perpetuate an archaic (and to me, insulting) tradition that is unnecessary now?

  25. General question:
    If it’s the least important for the female, and presumably the male as well…to whom *is* the proposal question important?

    The government?
    Their parents?
    Their friends?
    Society overall?

    I don’t often think of marriage, since I don’t plan on ever partaking of it. This is relatively new territory for me…I find myself without a distinct opinion on this matter.

  26. I have a feeling this app is a surreptitious means of pressure/shaming. For all intents and purposes, this app is 100% irrelevant to men. Any guy insane enough to want to marry will know how to propose. Even a caveman could do it.

    No, this app will be downloaded by women for two reasons.

    1) to compare their proposal to other proposals, just another evolution of hypergamy. they’ll read about all the wonderful exciting ways a man COULD propose and let their fluffy minds run wild. then when the day comes, if it’s not up to snuff.. the hamster can easily justify saying no because she deserves better.


    2) to ‘share’ or ‘send’ the app to their boyfriends phones as a subtle reminder that their relationship is on the line if he doesn’t pop the question. Call it enhanced duress if you will, or a warning shot across the bow.

    Mark my words, this app was not created with men in mind. It was created for the only creature that currently drives the marriage market.

  27. Who has the swimmers that brought you into the world? Whose last name do you have?

    I’m just as much my father’s property as you are with yours.

  28. “A gift is a gift regardless of its intention. Sorry bud, you chose to give it you can’t change your mind and take it back.”

    Fine. I love you Audacious.. we work so well together you and i, i’d do anything for you. But if you don’t get me this…


    .. i’m breaking up with you.

    Because i’m awesome and so damn worth it. You want to make me feel special right Audy? Prove to me i am as special to you as you want me to by giving you that ring DeBeers tells me is worth 3 months of my blood sweat and tears. Ohh,, don’t forget to include an Xbox360 bundle in there while you’re at it. Modern Warfare edition please.

    Oh, and if for any reason our love ‘peters’ out.. say 5 months into our marriage, i keep all this stuff 🙂

    Luv ya! 😉

  29. Sounds like my ex-father-in-law. I still keep in touch with him to this day and play ping pong with him. Sins of the daughter do not carry over.

    To this day he can’t tell his family back home what happened. He’s too ashamed. He thought i was the perfect guy to make her settle down.

    Shit happens.

  30. Because daddy’s little girl has great cultural reverence whereas ‘mommas boy’ does not.

    Ever wonder why the father leads the daughter down the aisle and hands her off to the groom? Do you understand what is being conveyed?

  31. Yes, I do…doesn’t mean I agree with it though.

    Even if I was still on speaking terms with my father, I wouldn’t have him do that. The message being conveyed is “I am a man/father. I am handing off/selling/relinquishing my adult daughter to another man/husband”.

    I’m 99% sure I won’t get married. But if I do, I’ll walk down the aisle alone…I’d much prefer to meet my imaginary husband as a partner to be welcomed to his side, rather than a possession to be given to a new owner.

  32. Asking the father’s permission is entirely subject to circumstance.

    If the girl has a very traditional or religious family, and gets along well with her father, then it makes sense, in a way. If not, and even then, I’m not sure it’s a great idea.

    More importantly, if he says no, are you going to not marry her? If so, you’re an idiot. If yes, a hypocrite.

    The idea that I am in any way my father’s and not my own is laughable. I think I’d kill the old man if he implied that.

    Then again, we didn’t have many father-son fishing trips.

  33. That’s *precisely* what I’m saying, Vicomte.
    Thank you!

  34. Actually, I have my mother’s last name. I changed it when I was 14 and didn’t want to be associated with my biological father anymore. He is an alcoholic, a constant liar, and an physical abuser…the less I think of him, the better.

    And while his “swimmers” are partially responsible for my creation, my mother’s egg is just as important in that regard. So…if I’m my father’s “property” then I’m also my mother’s “property”.

    Would *you* then be okay if your female beloved asked your mother for your hand in marriage? After all, you are her “property”…

  35. did she not know that you have been married? she literally just handed you her own defeat.

  36. Personally, I love the idea of a man asking for my father’s permission to marry me. My ex-husband did that before proposing to me and I thought it was a beautiful gesture of respect to the man that raised me. It’s more of a symbol in our modern day…obviously nobody can or should force a woman to marry anybody. And I think it’s also obvious that women aren’t owned by fathers or husbands in the way they used to be. In any case, I think a guy would know his prospective wife-to-be well enough to know if asking her father for her hand would be a positive or a negative thing in her eyes. If that’s something a man feels is appropriate and his girlfriend doesn’t…well, that could be a bad sign if you ask me.

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