Confessions of a Reformed InCel

November 17, 2012

[UPDATE 4-26-2018]

It’s been almost 4 years since i left this space of the internet. It’s been almost 6 years since i wrote the below post.

A lot changes with time away from the sphere. I’ve lived a normal life, with a great gal in a ‘normal’ family setting, engaging with society, a totally different man that the one 4, 6, 10+ years ago. Had i not taken that journey, a cathartic one no doubt, who knows where i could have ended up. You couldn’t really write a better ending for the journey i took from the mouth of Hell back to normality.

And then Monday happens. April 23, 2018 at 1:24pm. A beautiful, warm sunny day not unlike the kind 9/11 is remembered for.

I want to state this right off the bat for the record. My heart and my sympathies go out to every individual affected by the Van assault mass murder by the person who i will not name. I won’t acknowledge the killer or immortalize him. Not only do i not condone his actions, i condemn them as strongly as i can condemn anything. He is a coward.

At the height of my depression, at the lowest point in my life being incel, i never considered violence against anyone but myself. Even then i realized that ones actions don’t exist in a bubble, and that every action you apply resonates beyond whatever you’re looking at. But for this individual, he crossed into the dangerous territory where his focus was not to look at others as people who have family and friends and coworkers who will be impacted and grieve. All he saw was a society that isolated him, did not care to help him but instead ridiculed him, and decided that since he lost in the game of life.. he was going to drag as many to the bottom with him before he died. Ultimately he even failed at suicide, which is somewhat ironic.. confirming his failure at everything.

I know somewhere on my blog, there are comments by me, denouncing Elliot Rogers. (I should have made a post, and if i didn’t that would be a glaring oversight on my part). While i have the ultimate empathy for true suffering incels, who have gone without the basic and primal human connection one can have with the opposite sex.. i have NO SYMPATHY whatsoever for those who take that pain and decide to unleash it on others. Those innocent people Elliot shot were not the cause of Elliots incelness. Elliots unwillingness to embrace TRP hard truths were the source of his pain. The people that were run down on Monday in Toronto, so very close to home to me and the ones i love, who could easily have been in his bombsights on any given day, were not the cause of this individuals alleged incelness. An unwillingness to try to become better than he was, was the cause of it.

It was their absolute lack of trying to change to be something better. Or maybe worse, they were just broken and irreparable from the start. I try to believe everyone can be saved.. but who knows anymore. When i watched the video’s of Elliot Roger come out, i sat there horrified. In another life, that *might* have ended up being me had i not course corrected. I wondered if the chance could ever occur, was there something myself.. or anyone much more suited like Rollo, could ever have said to snap him out of his delusional angst? You could see it in his eyes on the videos.. this one is too far gone to help. If you ever wanted to see what ‘entitled to womens bodies’ actually looks like, stare at Elliots face. Most incels don’t feel entitled.. they feel like they’ve been left out of the party everyone else is having. Entitled is crashing the party and ruining it for everyone else.

TRP takes many forms. Early on i decided i wanted to take the ‘become the best you that you can be’ mantra version. I didn’t want to ‘game’ for hookups, i wanted to invest in myself, to truly change who i was so i could confidently command the asking price rather than beg for crumbs. Rollo very recently discussed how many come to TRP and complain they wont be able to carry on ‘the act’. He explained how when he applied it and internalized it, it became part of who he was and second nature, and it was no longer an act, it was just him. That’s the part i tried to emulate.. to take the lessons, and apply them and use them until it no longer felt like i’m pretending to be someone i’m not. But you have to try, and make the time and put in the effort. And you have to have realistic expectations to boot. I will never be Ryan Reynolds or Channing Tatum in looks.. but on the range of unattainable beauty standards, and where i started, i hit a happy medium i was proud of. Can i go further? Sure, but thats my call, not societies.

But you still need to put in the work. Even if you can’t reach the ideal, strive for it. The whole concept of ‘you’re perfect just the way you are’ needs to die. Can you imagine how much Elliot might have thought that about himself? Or the van murderer? If you are unhappy, the only person who can do something about that is YOU. No one else. And telling unhappy people that they’re ok as they are is a recipe for disaster.

I still have complete empathy for the incel community, but i want to hope that the ones who reach the TRP message take the right, and not the wrong lessons from this. Become better, knowledge is power, but apply it properly and dont expect a quick fix! Looking at my ancient story below, you will notice that the happy ending does not occur right away, but years later once the core tenets of TRP are internalized and applied. Shorcuts often lead to more anguish in this regard.

As much as this tragedy has personally disturbed me to the core, i am equally troubled by the way some of the media outlets are handling this. While undoubtedly there are many misogynistic incels (whom you still need to reach out to in order to quell the rage), there are equally harmless ones, confused ones, and angry ones who simply learn for the first time they’ve been playing by the wrong set of books. Were we to actually engage with incels in a real fashion, and first acknowledge that YES, it is debilitating, humiliating and emotionally devastating to the individuals who suffer through it.. we need to actually engage with them without judgement of how and why they got there, and realistically work with them in an honest fashion to help them overcome their problems. Chastising them, yelling at them, mischaracterizing them or applying blanket misogyny labels upon them – WILL NOT – i repeat, will not bring them into the open to educate, treat, rehab or reform them. It will drive them further into darkness where you just might start producing more of these emotionally spent, dead eyed, uncaring, lay waste to the world, reproductive losers in the game of life.. dehumanize everyone surrounding them. They go on to become the next one. Their rationalization is so apparent, i don’t understand why no one can see it.

They spend their entire lives isolated, in pain, wondering what about them is so wrong as to never be desired. It’s not obvious to them, otherwise they’d have done something. Or they’ve been enabled by liars who tell them they’re perfect as they are, to just be themselves. And yet, being themselves only incites ridicule from others, taunting, jeers and derision. Once this isolation hits a peak, they no longer see people around them as people, they see them as abusers. Everyone who is having a good time, smiling, laughing, enjoying life, having lives, having sexual relationships, having romance, sharing emotions.. all in front of the face of the one who is told ‘no, not for you, you can’t play with us’. There are some who are ok with this, accept their lot in life, and stay there. There are other who decide to change themselves so they too can join the game. And finally, there are the Elliots and Toronto van murderer who decide that if they can’t enjoy this life like others can, they’re gonna ruin it for the rest of us. That’s it in a nutshell.

My one wish is that this issue is examined without the polarization we see in todays politics of left and right, where each side screams at the other saying ‘you’re wrong’ and nothing happens except a race to the bottom. You can’t expect people to come to you for help when you’re going to demonize them from the outset. That needs to stop. Incels need help. What that help is and how it reaches them is another discussion altogether. But it’s one that needs to happen to keep shit like this from repeating.

I have not enough words of condolence i can give to the innocents who were taken, and the lives of everyone else who will be affected by their loss. This tragedy hit too close to home.

It could have been me. It could have been me in front of that van on any other routine day. It could have been my family, my friends, my coworkers, anyone i love and care about. It is still surreal that this happened at all.

I also shudder to think ‘could it have been me’ inside the van behind the wheel,.. had i not found TRP and changed my life instead of believing the pretty lies of others. Was i ever capable, would enough time in hell for me produce a similar fate? I don’t ever want to know.

I grieve with Toronto for those who were lost, i have to hope it never happens again. Most of all, that will require changing the way we talk about this issue.

[EDIT – Days after Elliot Roger murders: For anyone new coming here from The Daily Dot, Reddit, Ask Men or anywhere else. Once you are finished reading this piece (due to the interest since the Elliot Rogers murders) and you get all your feathers ruffled about the ‘feelings’ section, please head over HERE for understanding the proper context lest you get your panties in a bunch. If you assume the language was written as intent rather than contextualizing what would be required to have women stripped of their natural biological advantage of being noticed solely for the fact they are female – then i can’t help you or you comprehension skills. peace the fuck out]


November 17, 2012. enough is enough. i warned y’all it might get depressing. here goes. don’t worry, it ends well. i think.


In honor of my 10,000th view.. i’m going to publish what i consider the hardest post i’ve ever written. But it needs to be written, for i may be an extreme, i know i’m not alone. This isn’t written for the PUA or the Alpha or the Pussy Slayer™. This is written for you, the one without hope..  to know there is hope and you can get better.

Thanks for the hits guys! Snapshot taken 07/09/12 at 2:33 pm after 3 weeks on the interwebz.

[actually no.. i’ve crossed 50k. that’s how long i’ve been holding onto this draft, terrified of letting it go. but i saw a comment today that finally let me pull the trigger.]

It is so Very hard to hit that PUBLISH button.

Writing this post is a source of *shame* for me. It’s been sitting in my drafts for about 2 weeks [edit: 5+ months actually]

But at this point in my life having endured what i have, it does not trouble me putting it out in the sphere. I am sure i am not alone in this and that this post will actually help someone out there. Some of you may relate. Women hopefully may finally understand where my anger and cynicism stems from.

So i’ve decided to unleash it. [about time?]

Firstly, before you continue, please go read THIS POST. [Edit Apr.30,2014: Due to the explosion of traffic from AskMen, I have noticed this post is no longer available, so i will instead invite you to go read THIS POST instead ] No offense to the author, my past wasn’t her fault.. but it struck the usual nerve with me. You need to read posts like this to let the feeling of inequality fill you up.

Welcome back..

When i read it or stories like it, these are the THINGS I FEEL (and yes, i know ‘feelings’ are the domain of a woman)

  • When i hear a woman tell me that she’s gone through a dry spell and not had sex in over X weeks/ months.. i feel like putting my fist through her face.
  • When i hear a woman tell me that she feels ugly or unloved or unwanted because her partner hasn’t touched her in over 6 months, i feel like laughing loudly 3 inches from her face.
  • When i hear a woman tell me that she just picked up a random guy for a night of fun because she was lonely, i feel like i’m glad i don’t own a gun.
  • When i hear a woman tell me that i shouldn’t feel bad about having gone without for so long, after all it’s only just sex, i feel like disfiguring her face with a scalpel.

Nature’s cruel joke and cosmic irony in one. I as a man, biologically driven365 days a year to ejaculate and produce sperm as often as possible, and having the drive and desire to want it every waning moment, who is villified for this natural urge and made to feel ashamed of my sexuality, control it and subdue it to conform to the feminine imperative… have to listen to women, who in their solipsism cannot fathom the ordeal of what i’m about to write about, women who biologically ovulate and desire sex rather infrequently compared to men, talk about, no celebrate their sexuality, their urges and desires.. and lament their short dry spells as if the world were coming to an end. They can never understand what a power differential there is in these urges.

Women can say they love sex just as much as men. I would call BS. Until there is a glut of male prostitutes, male escorts, male rub n tugs for female patrons, a demand for male sex workers and strippers i’ll say nay. Unless they’re all having alpha sex on the side perhaps? Or will touching themselves to 50 shades suffice? At least mommy porn is culturally acceptable. Women DO NOT need sex like men do.. otherwise the sphere would not exist.

Anyways.. back to my pitiful former life.

I have no pictures of myself from a time period stretching from high school to my late 20’s, save for some randoms others might have taken of me. I have no memories or recollections of my time in high school. I have no stories of parties, girlfriends or wild flings. It’s a time period i wiped from my mind, much like PTSD. The only way i can recall it is if i sit down and think really hard about it. I rarely do because i don’t like feeling like shit for the hell of it.

I was that beta/omega/zeta. I let myself get LJBF‘ed on multiple occasions being that ‘nice guy’ that male hating cunt Amanda Marcotte despises. I  played by the rules as handed down to me by the feminine authorities on what women would look for and appreciate in a man. I was asked to believe what they said, not what they did. ‘Just be yourself‘ (your nice beta supplicating self) was the golden code.

So here it is… my Incel Hell.

This is where you will stay for the next 12 years. Enjoy your stay.

<deep breath>

Living by the feminist code earned me 12 years of hell. Let that number sink in.













no, that went by too fast. try it this way.

365 + 365 + 365 + 365 +  365 + 365


365 + 365 + 365 + 365 + 365 + 365

4380 days give or take.

4380 days without being validated as a sexual being.

4380 days without physical human contact or touch.

4380 days of isolation and loneliness.

4380 days of silent suffering and silently screaming at mirrors.

4380 days of crippling ridicule and self confidence destruction by my peers.

4380 days during in what should have been the best years and height of my sexual primacy…

…give or take…


Funny pictures required to maintain levity and lessen the urge to kill.

From the Audacious Amateur Blogger in her post about a Sex Hiatus:

Sex is P and VG but it’s also human and human. Even if it’s just for a night, it lets you feel you’re not alone in the world, you shared a biological imperative with someone, you experienced their pleasure with your own.

She also captures the very essence of my whole diatribe in this little bit in her post about one years worth of life changes.

6. No one has held me, touched me, hugged me in such a long time. Humans need physical contact. I don’t feel human.

Human to Human.
I don’t feel human.

I can only imagine what a productive member of civilization i would be IF i was brought up with masculine values and was sexually sated. Instead i spent my life living out the following tale trying to figure out what my problem was and living as a manic bipolar depressive. Instead here i sit, a MGTOW, never finding enough reason or desire to become productive beyond my own means.

From the age of 18-29 i traveled a road that lead me to believe i wasn’t human, wasn’t worthy of love, wasn’t deserving of companionship and that i would probably be better off dead.

I lost my virginity at late 17 to a girl and our relationship lasted for just over 5 months. When it ended i fell into a deep depression. What i should have been told at that moment was to identify what was it about me that made me lack confidence, to fix it and to head back out into the world. To listen to the guys who were #winning

Instead i followed my feminist programming and female advice off a cliff into hell.

Feminism taught me a lot throughout the 80’s and 90’s. It taught me not to question women’s sexual choices. It taught me to treat them with deference and respect. It taught me not to accost them for sex aggressively, but to treat them as human beings. It taught me that i MUST control my shallow, greedy, dangerous impulses but allow a woman the right to indulge in hers. It taught me to be nice for the sake of being nice and not expecting sex in return. To give all my emotional and platonic ability and not dare ask for intimacy in return.

It taught me everything i needed to be creepy, unattractive and doormat ready.

And it was re-enforced by EVERY woman i talked to.

What i SHOULD have been told is “hit the gym, build some muscle, guys with muscles are hawt” – “get braces now, you’ll smile a lot and we love guys with big smiles” – “go see a dermatologist, we love sexy skin on a man” – “cut off your long hair, you don’t look like a rocker, you look like a hippy. crew cuts are sexy, you’d look good in one” – “learn a skill and become good in it. become confident in it. we love confidence”

What i got instead was a constant drumming of “you’re such a good guy, just wait, someone else is out there for you” – “you don’t have to change a thing, you’re a wonderful person, just keep being yourself” – “you don’t need muscles, only jerks care about having big muscles” – “there’s nothing wrong with you, you just need to be a bit more confident that’s all” – “confidence comes from the inside, not from the outside

Patent fucking lies all of them.

My issue was i always believed i was not handsome, rugged or built well enough to attract initial attention. I had poor self image. All the advice to the contrary, telling me I WAS OK AS I WAS allowed me to abdicate my responsibility to start working on that issue. It led me to believe people should like me for who i am, not what my exterior presents. My first cross to bear. Instead of working to fix my skin deep issues and develop a greater sense of self worth, i continued listening to that advice to find one who would appreciate me for my ‘nice‘ qualities instead. This further perpetuated the vicious circle of being constantly friendzoned or rejected outright by women. Being myself was supposed to work but badboys were winning the day. Instead of reading it properly and abandoning the beta to become the badass, i doubled down and started hating badboys and believed that women were just being misguided but they would eventually turn around and come to love the greater qualities of love, nurturing, compassion and empathy i had massive stockpiles and reserves of. I shoved all my chips to the center of the table all in, and became a HUGE white knight Mangina.

I got to have the pleasure of defending women from the barbs and negs of my player friends only to watch these same women i defended end up going home to sleep with them. My brain simply could not comprehend what the fuck was going on. What the fuck is wrong with these women? Oh Wait! I’m not allowed to question that.

One of the final straws was me being in stuck in an LJBF with a person whom i had mad loving feelings for. One day i confessed to her how i felt and told her the pain was just too great for me to bear and i needed a YES OR NO answer. She only wanted to be my friend. I said “you are going to lose that friendship… why not take the chance and give it a try?” She said no and ended that friendship rather than try a relationship with a ‘really wonderful and caring guy’. Her words.

2 weeks later she was fucking a player asshole narcissist dick in a NSA relationship. That dick was my former friend who knew how badly i wanted to be with her. He never missed an opportunity to rub it in my face how lovely her back looked. I guess she enjoyed doggy style.

She chose to fuck someone who cared not one bit for her and only used her for her vagina instead of someone who loved her. But it was OK because she was only looking for ‘fun’ and not a relationship.

My world shattered.

You can only go so long getting knocked down before you decide that it might be best to stay down. The litany of thoughts raging through my head were endless.

  • no one will ever love me
  • even the ones who ‘like’ you don’t want you
  • what chance do you have with those who don’t know you
  • no woman wants anything to do with me sexually
  • there must be something horribly wrong with me
  • i must be a hideous grotesque abomination
  • i will never feel the warmth of a woman’s skin
  • no woman will ever yearn or desire me
  • i would never look into a woman’s eyes as she drew me into her
  • i would never caress  a woman’s face
  • never again would i know what a passionate kiss felt like
  • never again would i be validated as a sexual human being
  • i don’t deserve love
  • i don’t deserve to go on, i don’t deserve to live
  • life will go on without me
  • no one will really miss me maybe
  • even if they do, no one cared enough when it mattered
  • how long would i need to run the car in the garage before i pass out
  • turn the key you coward
  • mom will find my body in the garage
  • she will understand, she knows you’ve been suffering
  • i might chicken out, i can’t do it this way
  • where can i get a gun
  • i can’t get one. but a pellet gun looks real..
  • maybe i can stage a bank heist, take hostages, wait for the cops and force them to do it
  • death by cop
  • i hope it doesn’t hurt too much when i die

This isn’t hyperbole. I lived those scenarios out in my mind numerous times. For all intents and purposes i was an evolutionary failure. With so much FAIL, my body began to realize it was not going to fulfill it’s primary biological function of reproduction and had begun to contemplate ways of me to expedite my removal from the gene pool. Death felt like my only answer.

Respect, Love Acceptance, Belonging. Not for me? OK. Russian roulette sounds fun at this point.

I don’t think many females on this planet can contemplate or wrap their head around the gravity of this.

  • I (and most men) cannot just walk into a bar, bat our eyelashes and get sexual validation on a moments notice for a quick ‘pick me up’
  • It’s not just about ‘sex’. (well, for me anyways)

It’s about the connection sex implies. Of being wanted, desired, to be loved both mentally and physically, to be validated, to share, to connect, feel alive, be human. Or maybe i just view sex differently than your average slut if they only view it as ‘just sex‘. Lately i’ve gotten the sense that a majority of men (read Beta/Delta/Omega) place more emotional ties to sex than women (and i’ve read a lot about how men are the more romantic sex).. which is so far removed from the script i grew up hearing that men are primal pigs and women want loving nurturing sex and commitment. But i always have to go back to Badger’s mind blowing comment he made here some time ago:

And women never seem to understand that sexual access is the highest, most direct assignment of value they can give a man – they think they are complimenting men when they tell them “you’re a great guy and you’ll make some woman really lucky someday! Those badboys I sleep with are just short-term flings, I’m not serious about them.”

F that noise. It also puts the lie to the conventional wisdom that sex is REALLY REALLY DEEP and IMPORTANT to women, and they won’t give it away except to a guy they think is a really good match.

Suffice it to say, somehow i held on. But i lost a huge part of my soul in the process and have been forever damaged by it. This isn’t something you ever recover from, you only bury it and keep piling more dirt over it, hoping to level out the massive bump, but it’s always there.


Misogyny. It doesn’t appear out of thin air.

Here’s the kicker.

Everytime… EVERY.MOTHER.FUCKING.TIME i could have taken corrective action, i was lied to. Each time my buddies told me that i had to become an asshole, (their way of saying don’t listen to what a woman wants, do what they go for) i was once again led astray by a woman.

By my mother
By my teachers
By magazine articles
By other girls i asked advice for
By Oprah
By my friendzone crush and object of my desire.
(and yes.. by my marriage counselor)


I can still remember getting mad enough after a while that i started acting like a dick. After all what i was previously doing wasn’t working.. try something new right? And what did the girl i crushed on tell me when she didn’t like my new attitude?


That line reverberated in my head everytime i knew my asshole friend was at her place fucking her like an animal.

Hence all the THINGS I FEEL at the start of this post. It’s visceral. I can’t control it. It’s a part of me now. I can only manage it. But to each and every one of those women who i used in the above THINGS I FEEL section, it is my firm belief that you simply have NO CLUE what loneliness is unless you’ve contemplated what gun metal tastes like as it rubs against your tongue pressing into the roof of your mouth.

If you truly believe that after 2 weeks, 3 months, a year of not having physical relations with the opposite sex is true suffering.. i ask you if you felt your life was in danger. If not.. you’re not suffering enough. If so.. TRY IT FOR 12 YEARS and get back to me.

I as a man, am programmed to want it almost every day, vilified for wanting it, and taught to be shameful of it, and to conform to a certain way of thinking to acquire it.

Women, who desire it mainly during ovulation, control the access of it and demand a resource extraction for it, FREELY cough it up wantonly when the mood strikes, not for ‘mating’ but for fun, to embrace it, explore it, enjoy it and with those more often than not, least worthy of it in terms of commitment or sticking around if pregnancy ensues.

This post makes me angry. It makes me feel a lot of things. Hurt. Shame. A sense of loss. Imprisoned in time. Time i’ll never get back.

It would have been better if i lost 12 years doing hard time in prison. At least i’d have an excuse. At least i’d have some badboy cred. Maybe even a tattoo?

In fact, you could call this my own personal rape. I’m sure women will be up in arms for me calling it that, but what is the criteria for it? I feel shame. I am unable to talk about it with others. I will invariably be blamed for the outcome i suffered because of the way *I* acted. Being beta was ‘wearing a miniskirt’. Acting like a NiceGuy was ‘being overly flirtatious’. Respecting women and pedestalizing them was going up to a guys room at 2am for a late night coffee.

I deserved it for being unattractive. You deserved it for being too attractive. We both got fucked and not in the way we wanted it.

You had no power and had violation inflicted upon you. I had no power or right to feel like a human being inflicted upon me.

You were penetrated against your will. Feminism and woman bent me over and fucked me up the ass while laughing at me.

We both wanted death.

Yet i was a source of ridicule, you are the poster child of Slutwalk.

And so it is.

But you can’t go back, you can only move forward and try and make the best of the time you got left. I do my best to leave it in the past as these feelings will not help me move forward in life, or allow me to be happy. But the bitterness of having been put on that path that scarred me forever by a bunch of lying misguided nonsensical feminine/feminist talking points about men being more in touch with their feelings and women preferring ‘nice‘ qualities over brutish, decisive, dominant behavior.. well i don’t think it will ever fade with time.

I paid a heavy price for believing it.


I was at a nightclub celebrating the 30th birthday of my now ex-wife. I was 29. I really hated clubs, the atmosphere, the pretension, the obnoxious ego inflated women, overpriced alcohol, etc.. so i cut out of the party early and grabbed a taxi. I was in such a foul mood for having been there and just feeling miserable. So i told the cabby to go to the strip club i was familiar with. Inside i watched a sweet thin Polish girl dancing so i went to perv row. Since i was so angry at the world inside i must have subdued my NiceGuy™ really well, because i went full Dark Triad on this girl, and i had no clue that that term existed at the time. Finally i took her to the back for a quick dance.  I told her she was beautiful and she blushed. I asked her if she had a boyfriend and she said yes. I don’t know why but then i asked her if she was pissed off at him. I had no real reason to ask, i just did. She quickly opened up and said yes and started explaining why, all the while im touching her in all the right places. So i tell her “why don’t we go back to your place and give him something to really be pissed about”.. i guess my hands were doing the trick because she reached down and felt up my dick and said “im going to tell the DJ im ending early, meet me in the lot in 15 minutes”.

I didn’t even pay for the dance.

That night i discovered something. That 12 years of watching good quality euro porn helps you understand where and how to touch a woman in just the right places. The one thing i was terrified of was how long i’d last, and amazingly enough, not only did i go all night and give her two big OHHH’s… i actually had to fake my orgasm. I could have kept going. I couldn’t explain it, and i didn’t care to. My confidence level shot up to over 9000.

Confidence doesn’t come from inside as i had been lied to over the years. It grows over time through external validations of success. If you repeat the success you become more confident. Fail enough times and the confidence suffers. Just be confident they said, fucking idiots. Nailing this stripper and nailing her like a boss did the trick!

Over the course of the next year i would bang 3 more strippers, [stripper game, i had no fucking idea but looky here – link] getting into a casual with two of them for a time. I even fucked one inside the club.. and let me tell you the bouncer was a scary guy so i was playing with fire but damn what a thrill! I’ll never forget how wide eyed that cute Puerto Rican girl got when i eviscerated her buttugly girlfriend right in front of her when she called me ‘gay or something’ when i refused to go for a dance with her entitled ass. Soon as the ugly was gone, Latina heat dragged me into the VIP. 1 condom. 0 dollars. 1 sweet fuck. Priceless.

The girls of HookingUpSmart raked me over the coals for having such low class as to actually have sex with strippers. [yeah, ladies who are beautiful who take off their clothes for men for money fucking me for free perish the thought] Such a low opinion of me they had, that they debated if i was even worth going out with on a date if they knew i’d been with those strippers. My 12 years of hell were not mitigating enough to allay the stigma. Those dirty low class strippers..

Strippers who treated me as more human than the women i actually loved. Even the crazy one who stabbed her mother.

The knowledge of me banging strippers actually played to my advantage [preselection?] and allowed me to once again hook up with my ex-girlfriend who later became my wife. She seemed to enjoy quizzing me every so often as to how she compared to those ‘Ladies of the Night’ as she called them, always seeking validation that she stacked up and cut the muster. And much sexual satisfaction was to be had for a nice long time. Of course that was until the wife became unhaaapy with my reversion to betatude and showed me the door. That’s when i finally delved into the realm of the internet and discovered about Game, dominance, attraction triggers, evo psych, mra’s, pua’s, the manosphere. All the pretty lies perished, like domino’s falling in unison.

With the knowledge i acquired, the discipline of weight training and building up a body i am proud of and not ashamed of, learning how to be social, burying the beta and believing in my worth i finally am at a point in life where I have changed my views and outlook. I am not ruled by pussy.. i conquer it on my terms or leave it to it’s own useless fate. I’ve adopted an MGTOW lifestyle, do things with myself in mind first and foremost following my own imperative, will only entertain relationships with women who qualify themselves to me by bringing more to the table than pretty looks and a vagina, else they just get a pump n dump. The ability to not blink when i destroyed my final toxic LJBFzone relationship with an emotional vampire who expected all the benefits of relationship without returning what i needed.

5 years ago i’d have be in my room crying over it or worse, apologizing to her for hurting her feelings. Today, i stand tall and say FUCK IT, my own needs and interests come first before anyone else and im ready to move on to find one who desires and deserves all the awesomeness i have to give. I don’t care how angry she got or how any feminist might say i just played nice to get in her pants. I’M THROUGH PLAYING NICE. I’m built, confident, nothing left to prove, cannot be persuaded by the power of pussy, and doing what i like for myself. I don’t fall on my sword for the needs of others. Look to thine own ass first is the creedo.

It was a long and painful fuckless road for me, one i wish i didn’t have to go down. But i don’t get a mulligan, there are no re-do’s, there is no respawn. Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and i’m still here. So i pause, reflect, introspect, identify, analyze and correct where i went wrong in the attempt to never repeat the mistakes, those fucking bluepill mistakes ever again. It’s called LEARNING and PERSONAL GROWTH. Evolution is a painful and messy affair.

But i’m feeling much better now, tho if you insist on bringing up your ‘dry spell’ story around me, just try and ignore the pained face i’m making as i envision you getting caught in a fire that melts your face off like the creepy black hatted dude in Raiders of the Lost Ark and so then you’ll know what a real dry spell is.

You haven’t a fucking clue what a dry spell is.

Some may say this was one long pitiful rant. Meh.. you could be right. But i feel it needed to be told, this tale of misery to triumph. As i see it, my part in this tale is over, my chapter is done. I’m too old to do anything about it now, you can’t go back. All i can do is keep my promise to not expend my valued time, energy or resources propping up a happy, had her fun with alpha’s and now settle with beta bux little old moi. Nope. I’m going lone wolf alpha and enjoying the rest of my life on my terms as i see fit. This isn’t about me anymore.

It’s about the next ‘me’ who’s in highschool or college right now, who’s sitting in his room alone at night wondering why some girl he really likes and treats well is off fucking some dude she just met at the bar. Who’s being ignored because of rampant hypergamy, inflated ego’s and facebook attention whores who vastly overrate their sex rank and will be lining up to get slaughtered by PUA’s and frat boys, only to go to complain to that poor, introverted, incel beta LJBF in training that all men are assholes and how if only she could find someone like him.

I want to break the endless cycle of suffering and teach these kids in high school to tell these evil leeches to go fuck themselves, break the LJBF, WORK OUT, build some mass, educate yourself, IGNORE the bitches and focus on yourself instead of chasing them and inflating their ego’s. You’ll be better off in the long run and well ahead of the game.

And you don’t have to worry about me. I keep at it p90x style, keep my body tight, i keep socializing, i keep looking for that diamond in the rough, i won’t reward entitled bitches with mind blowing orgasms but leave them to their pump and dump fates. I look 10,000 times better than i did before and can Dark Game tight young strippers again if i so choose. I have an open relationship married girl on the side (married ladies seem to love me, why?), i’m throwing innuendo at anything that’s got long legs and a vagina, i have the power to banish anything that flakes or cold shoulders me, i do not yield an inch to the power of pussy, and i’ve discovered a new form of Game that works for what i’m looking for in a woman. I call it Atheist game (soon to be post for my religious friends/readers). Let’s just say, the cute chaste and loyal good looking girl i’m looking for, is easier to spot when you play yourself as the devil and they don’t fail. This is what i want most. Reading the Rawness made me realize i will not heal my soul by going on a pump n dump spree nor make me a better person. No bandaids on fatal wounds.

Moving on Redpill style.



So now you know where my cynicism and rage comes from. Now you know why it’s not a healthy idea for me to ‘man up and marry a slut’. Now you know why i hate feminism and it’s evil ideology. Now you know why i view slutty behavior as i do. Now you know why i intrinsically never believe what women say at face value, i only follow what they do.

Now you know why feminists call me a woman hater and a misogynist. The funny thing is i practiced feminism to the letter, and by treating women as human beings and respecting them as prescribed. I loved women and cared for women. I did all those nice things not simply to get into their pants, but because i was a decent human being, a human male, and someone who *wanted* to get into  a loving relationship with a woman.

And by loving women the way feminism asked, i was nearly destroyed for it.

Misogyny. No child was ever born with it. And here’s an ethical question for you to ponder. Yeah.. no one is ‘entitled’ to pussy, but for all the guys who have trouble mating due to Hypergamy-Gone-Wild™ (or as i call; the new normal).. what should we do with them? Euthanize them?

I’m sure there was more i could write into this, but i have to let it go at this point. And your eyes are probably bleeding, as are mine. I hope this post isn’t going to haunt me. If it keeps one young guy from taking a swan dive off a tall bridge, my work here is done. I just hope i don’t wake up thinking in my best Londo Mollari voice – “Great Maker, what have i done!”


  1. @ Nope

    You know, try as i might.. i can’t argue against that.

    Tho i must confess, your abridged version doesn’t quite carry the same emotional resonance required to effect change or awakening in some people. So i’ll keep the long version up online anyways.

  2. Yes Ted, i have seen that PSA with Obama, Biden and Bond. It’s a horrible PSA that not only attacks male sexuality, it also neglects to be terse with women who get drunk with the intention of seeking out sex and putting themselves in those positions. JudgyBitch did a wonderful write up about having enough with the bullshit that is ‘rape culture’. It should be read by all.


  3. What I find truly disconcerting about this post is not your history, your rage, or your bitterness. Actually, I get that, and I understand that we men are conditioned to seek identity in sex and sexuality.
    But after all that struggle, your entire identity is still just about getting laid. You’ve gotten better at getting laid, and have a shiny new tough guy attitude, but it appears that your entire life is still structured around the power of the pussy. When you’re not working on making yourself more attractive to women, you’re working to discourage women you find unattractive, or teaching other men how to land a lass of their own.
    Reverse the gender on all of that and realize you are the male equivilent of the Cosmo demographic.
    I have an answer to your ethical dillema. Stop teaching young men (and women) that getting laid is the most important thing there is. It isn’t, and the obsession with sex as a proxy for accomplishment and self worth is pathological.

  4. Rags to bitches.

    People may disagree but after years of no kind of sexual contact in what should be your sexual prime it’s either adapt or die. You adapted sir and if your story can save even one poor mislead young man out there, the heat you will get for this post will be all worth it.

  5. @ Graeme

    I don’t entirely disagree with you sir. Sex isn’t the most important thing. But the lack of it during the height of your sexual awakening, coupled with the feminine free for all leaves a sort of Occupy Wallstreet sense of injustice. The 1% (or in this case 20% of men) enjoy the bounty of 80% of the women who feast aplenty on the trough of sluttery. It’s especially hard when they think they’re playing by the rules and find out the game was rigged. I’m teaching guys how to recognize and break the cycle, those beta’s and omega’s who read my story and go ‘holy fuck, thats EXACTLY what i’m going through’ and have them take action.. because if they don’t they’ll just continue to be lied to and unsuccessful. Getting pussy ain’t everything for sure. But being denied the chance at meaningful sexual relationships because of lies is a whole different matter.

    You’ve come to this post 2 years after i wrote it. It’s a snapshot in time. I won’t alter it or edit it. It’s up to everyone who read’s it to keep reading into my blog to see the transformative phases and catharsis take hold. Anger is a great catalyst and first step.I didn’t write this as an instruction manual to turn men into PUA’s. I wrote MY story of how I broke free, nothing more. It was only ever meant to wake up the most vulnerable men in our society, those who would be easily manipulated and utilized by women without a second thought, and save them from themselves.

  6. @ ReyTheGreatOne

    I indeed have taken some flack for this and that is precisely why this post and this blog endures. I don’t give a shit if 1% think i’m a hero and 99% think im a villain. This isn’t about percentages or a popularity contest for me. If it helps give some men hope that they too can change and avoid sexless lives.. it’s worth it.

  7. Man do I feel your story. Could almost be mine.
    “Sugar and spice and everything nice…” is a LIE from hell. Damn anybody who judges you harshly for telling OUR story.
    These days I speak only to those women I want to fuck. The rest of the bitches can continue onbtheir way out of my life.
    I’m glad you didn’t commit suicide. No whore is worth dying for.
    Thanks for courageously writing the story of many men (most of whom are in denial or stunningly confused).

  8. I think this is an important post to read after you’ve read mine.. to know there is a progression from Day 1 anger to the person you should eventually want to become.


  9. I’ve never read such a long and riddled with mistakes as text, and that is the reason why you do not fuck and I do. Sincerely, an alpha.

  10. First Rule of Alpha – if you have to announce to others that you are an Alpha.. Chances are you ain’t. Lol. But thanks for playing, do come again.

  11. Dear idiot “Alpha”,

    If women made sexual partner determinations based on grammar abilities, I wouldn’t still be banging my current FwB of 7+ years. Luckily, he’s much better at sex than he is at spelling, and has a great caring personality that makes up for his dismal punctuation skills. Also, picking apart someone’s heartfelt post to complain about their editing is lame, and does nothing to alter the power of the message.


  12. Wow…. that’s all I’ve got…. just… wow.

  13. damn good story man, well not good story, it actually fucking sucks that you went through such bs.
    i’m the same though to a lesser extent.
    i’m 23 and a virgin, about a year or two ago i found the red pill. funny thing is i’ve a few opportunities to have sex with a woman, though i guess the deep inner beta in me refuses to do it unless she’s a babe by my standards or i love her(lolololol). IT’S SO LAUGHABLY RETARDED, how i had a woman literally begging for my attention, when from day 1 i was absolutely indifferent to her, and it was SO FUCKING ANNOYING watching a girl i liked whine about her shitty bf, and me being a perfect hero getting friended. i have my own embarrasing as fuck story that flipped my switch on,nowhere near like yours but we all had one and can relate, and mine gave me that nasty knife to the chest feeling, that feeling didn’t go away for a while, i can feel the scar acting up just thinking about it. like holy fuck what is wrong with women? how can a human being so inhumanly stupid? well now it all makes sense but fuck, it’s just impossible to really wrap your mind around, for anyone with half a functioning brain cell, the sheer blindness of hypergamy.
    anyway mgtow is my poison of choice. teh pron works for me as i don’t know i’m missing so i don’t crave it as much as someone who does and has to go without, we’ll see if i go mad at a strip club like you did(for what it’s worth that’s a great story).
    i hear that guys with alpha traits in the old days were either killed, imprisoned or exiled. society understood that men like that were a plague on civilization, and women weren’t allowed human rights, given they didn’t know what was good for themselves or anyone else for that matter. what a world we live in today….
    the worst thing imo was that feminism turned men against each other, making us vilify and hate each other for shit we didn’t even do. men united are better than men divided, we made civilization through cooperation. i think the manosphere is a sign that we as men are coming together once more as brothers in arms in a hostile world where the only thing you can depend on is the man next to you, and that we’re learning that pussy is not something to earn, it is every man’s birthright, that a woman’s place in life is to service a man.
    stay strong brothers, and remember in your darkest hours, that you are not alone, we are in this together, for a better future.

  14. Dear Sir,
    This is an incredible and heart wrenching experience you survived and the help that some young men will get from this will no doubt take place. Twelve years, damn. The feelings section was very powerful. All of it IS powerful. I am a 37 year old mother of a little boy. I want him to be able to adapt and overcome our deeply flawed culture. I want to keep de programming myself of this odd feminist bullshit programming that I was initially shaped from as well. It has slowly been implemented into our culture over most of my life and I think having a son has helped me see the double standards placed on you fellas as soon as you drop from the womb. This words are going to help some young men. I’m glad the ending was indeed happy and hope you are still doing great. I just wanted to let you know that this writing pulled at my heart and definitely helped educate me. There’s no telling how many people you will have positively affected from this.
    Thank you.

  15. Feminism is not about withholding sex from nice men. It is the right to be treated equally so that women can vote, go to school, drive, work, and earn an independent life. A lot of women in the world are not allow to do this. It has nothing to do with hating men.

  16. […] celibacy,” a term primarily used by men who feel entitled to sex from women. (For example: “When I hear a woman tell me that I shouldn’t feel bad about having gone without for […]

  17. I’m over 30 and I’ve never had sex. I’ve never even had a girlfriend, though I think I could have. I have always been completely oblivious to advances, until much later when I look back. Is it not a dry spell if you’ve never had a drink? It doesn’t really bother me, but the idea that society thinks it should does.

  18. So first I am going to start off by saying I am a female. Also, I didn’t read the whole post either. I stopped after the stripper part. So first off, I say good for you for sleeping with strippers and getting over the dry spell. Honestly, in my experience with some strippers I’ve know they say they rarely date or take home a guy from the club. So honestly they had to have liked you in order to do that. I agree that what feminists told you on how to act was somewhat incorrect, but you can respect women without having to be a doormat.
    If you would have asked me I would have told you to be confident, and work out. I think more women respond to confidence over most of the other shit. Then a smaller portion of women weigh looks more heavily. Unfortunately I think most of those women constantly go to parties and bars so they are seen more often and give other women a bad rep.
    Confidence I will always say is the big thing. Women want to feel secure and safe and men that are confident seem to give that feeling.
    Being a doormat though never works. If you become a doormat at the beginning of the relationship you will be one at the end.
    After saying all that, I don’t agree with all your negative opinions of women, but of course as a woman I will say that. Keep in mind as well, I am a lesbian and that is probably why I wouldn’t have given you the “open every door for a woman” feminist speech on how to get women. I agree that shit doesn’t truly work for most women. There are a few that would still respect you if you did that, but they aren’t going to be your normal bar hopping women. When I’ve gone to the bar to meet women I tend to avoid the ones that say they go to the bar or party every weekend. If you just want to get laid, you can pick up that woman. For me though, (especially since I don’t have a sex drive like a man) I go for the ones that say I haven’t been out to the club in months, because I want a relationship.
    I am also going to comment on PUA’s. I actually read the book “The game,” by Neil Strauss. I think oddly their are a lot of good tips for picking up women in that book. I never really thought about any of the tactics until reading that book. The only tactic I don’t think can really work is peacocking. I think it is stupid. But a lot of the other tactics I can see how they would work easily. Now all the other sites that give seminars and stuff I think are probably crap and not all programs would work for all men. I think it is sick how these programs guarantee results and take people’s money.
    Well my rant is done….

  19. This is a joke, right?

  20. Whenever I feel myself slip, I return here to read my unauthorized biography. Thank you for that.

  21. This whole thing is so.. Sad lol, ugly people problems

  22. This story has some disturbing similarities to my own experiences. Of course there are some differences–I’ve never banged a stripper for one–and I also did have a girlfriend who loved me “as I am” for several years. However, that girl made advances to me, not the other way around; any girl I have ever approached romantically has cold shouldered me. The usual tactic is to come up with excuses for why they cannot go out to dinner or w/e else, they had a long day at work, something just came up, already had plans, etc. Follow-up attempts at contact go flatly ignored.
    Fortunately I don’t see women as only things to have sex with, I don’t try to date every woman I talk to, and I have had plenty of platonic female friends to talk to about these things. They have always told me the same things you cite here–they’re just not the right one, someone else will come along who likes you how you are, etc. I agree that these are just comfortable lies that people tell to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings. Since they don’t see every girl who has come along, whereas I have, I know otherwise. It’s not a fluke or some kind of bad luck that every single girl just so happens to not be the right one. I’m 5’4″ and quite skinny even for that height. I know what’s really going on.
    Sometimes it makes me angry, but as a rational being, I cannot fault them too hard. I have no doubt in my mind that if it were the other way around, and men had more access to women, they would behave the same way, “shopping around” and rejecting the more average-looking women, confident in the knowledge that they can get a dime piece eventually. It’s not a gender problem so much as a logical behavior given the set of circumstances which people find themselves in.

  23. This is sad. I don’t know a single woman who goes for jerks. My number one turn off is ‘an alpha’. When I was single I was pursued by men with those traits and I hated it. It’s demeaning, and insulting. I have tons of female friends who feel the same way. All except for 3 of us (one engaged, 2 cohabiting) now married to nice guys who respect us as humans. I think this is really depressing. My husband and I both avoided becoming involved with shallow and disrespectful people. Assuming that all women are the same is a grossly small minded assumption. The club culture is the wrong place to find a decent mate. And to villianize an entire sex based on the people who are found there is unfair. My husband is one of the kindest, most thoughtful and caring guys in the world, and I respect him for those qualities. We are each other’s one and only and it only makes our love life more important and exciting for us. I wish that you had found someone who could appreciate the nice guy appeal.

  24. This is sad. I don’t know a single woman who goes for jerks. My number one turn off is ‘an alpha’. When I was single I was pursued by men with those traits and I hated it. It’s demeaning, and insulting. I have tons of female friends who feel the same way. All except for 3 of us (one engaged, 2 cohabiting) now married to nice guys who respect us as humans. I think this is really depressing. My husband and I both avoided becoming involved with shallow and disrespectful people. Assuming that all women are the same is a grossly small minded assumption. The club culture is the wrong place to find a decent mate. And to villianize an entire sex based on the people who are found there is unfair. My husband is one of the kindest, most thoughtful and caring guys in the world, and I respect him for those qualities. We are each other’s one and only and it only makes our love life more important and exciting for us. I wish that you had found someone who could appreciate the nice guy appeal.

  25. I know. Unlike you, I was almost 40 before I had sex for the first time, and I have never had sex without having to pay for it. I am now 42, and have had sex five times in my life. Well, that’s a lie, I have been naked with a hooker, but very little sex.
    I told myself I would never pay for having sex, but after having waited for so long, I decided it was either that or die as a virgin. But I waited for too long. Because of hairloss, I took finasteride for some years, and it appears to have killed my libido. I was told that lack of libido could be a problem, but it would return as soon as I stopped using it. Lies. When I was in my 20s, just being next to a naked women would have made me ejaculate. Not it can’t feel anything at all. Oral sex or vaginal penetration doesn’t give me anything. Zero, nada. It’s all dead.
    And for those who says that “It sounds like it’s all about getting laid for you”. Fuck off, you have no idea what you are talking about. If you have no water to drink and no air to breath, it’s all about having something to drink or breath for you. The same with sex. If you have it, it’s just a nice moment now and then. If you are male and don’t have access to it, it’s pure torture. Having lost my libido and having nothing to look back on, is so bitter that I sometimes wants to kill everybody around me. I don’t support the actions of those who starts shooting around them in a McDonalds restaurant, but in many ways I can understand them. Their life is a hell, and probably has been for many years, and instead of being understood, helped and accepted, they get ignored, treated with contempt and told not to whine. They just feel everything is so unfair that they wish to share their pain with others so they know what it feels like.
    And females don’t know crap what it feels like, so their advices and comments are not welcome.

  26. Hi Sarah. Before marriage, was your husband wanted by other women, or were you the only woman in his radar? is he currently wanted by other women even though he’s married, or are you the only woman who finds him attractive?

  27. In response to your question, his appearance sh ouldn’t matter, but I’ve actually stopped hanging out with my friend for a while because she would spend so much time comparing my husband to her’s and flirting with him. He also gets tons of attention from the college girls at our gym, he says it’s embarrassing but I think it’s cute. But it really doesn’t matter because I am much more interested in the fact that he is a genuinely good guy and makes insensitive jerks look like children in comparison. Every woman I know prefers a good, nice, mature and sensitive man.

  28. Sarah, you’re hilarious.

    Your husband gets hit on by other women, but you think you’re into him because hes good nice and sensitive. Gimme a break.

  29. Sarah,
    In 1972, after Richard Nixon won a landslide victory, the well-heeled and affluent liberals of the NE were shocked. Paulene Kael, movie critic for The New Yorker, uttered a phrase that would become famous, “I know only one person who voted for Nixon.” So, when every woman “you know” prefers a sensitive man, you do not know every woman. Secondly, as in many issues, look at what people say versus what they do. If women actually behave they way they tell people they behave, there would not be such a ready market for women’s magazines like Cosmo or the enduring popularity of shows like The Bachelor/The Bachelorette.

  30. You should try seeing a therapist if you are feeling so angry towards other people. It’s brave to be honest about your feelings, and it’s admirable to want show solidarity to those who are feeling lost and sad like you. I just hope you get the professional help you need and deserve and post about that experience in the future. If there is an emptiness you are experiencing that is so profound to make you think about harming yourself or other people, sex (another person) can’t fill that void.
    Get help, share that experience.

  31. […] that would conform to the current social dating scene, so I googled it.  One of my favorites is here and is definitely worth a few minutes of your time.  What a supreme hassle it is to create a […]

  32. Many guys in this age group have gone through similar experiences. I have given this ALOT of thought, over recent years and gender dynamics is one of my interests. I believe women subconsciously provide this type of dating advice, partially because it ensures that only men who are masculine and observant enough to find the truth, are given an opportunity to pass on their genes. Men who believe women, without ever waking up to reality, die off without a single opportunity to reproduce.

    Its almost like eugenics, in an evolutionary survival sense. And from evolutionary perspective, as we all know, the only losers are those who do not get to reproduce. I have more sympathy for men in this position, than most, considering I have gone through similar experiences for a long stretch of my youth (mixed in with religious brainwashing making me feel like sex was a sin and an ugly act, which later triggered limp inducing anxieties and the like), but for our civilization as a whole, from purely scientific stance, this is almost a benefit of sorts.

    Before the medical advancements of the last couple centuries, weak died off before even given an opportunity to reach adulthood. Today, pretty much all survive, but the female herd ensures only the strongest get to pass on their genes. Paternity testing is going to be a hot field for a long while. Thanks for sharing your story and all the interesting comments, even from blind female posters, which only cement the truth, firmly in its place.

  33. Men do not “need” sex.

  34. I don’t understand how you can feel that women are so alien. Everyone is hurting in their own way, this is not a uniquely male experience. It is easier to cast blame than to look at yourself with a critical eye.

  35. I’m glad you shared your story. I just want to point out a few things.
    Men should never ask straight women for advice about dating/fucking other women. We don’t fucking know.
    The advice we give are the same ones we give to other women about dating men. So basically, for 12 years, you’ve actually been receiving tips on how to date a guy.
    “Be yourself””looks don’t matter””being nice and agreeable is what they like” etc doesn’t work for men which is most evident in strippers. Female strippers can get away with being fat, ugly, and stupid. Male strippers HAVE to be in shape, have (or at least seemingly have) a big dick, and confidence. How much of a douche bag they are really doesn’t seem to matter.
    I don’t see a point in being angry at feminists/women for trying to give you advice. It’s like a cat trying to teach a dog how to fetch. You were the one who made this choice to stick around for 12 yrs. Own up to it.
    Yeah it hurts, and (in a whinny voice)”but you don’t understand”. You are right, I don’t understand that pain. Because if I tried something and after a few times, it doesn’t work. I’ll try something different or look for people who actually accomplished what I want. Then ask them for advice. You’ll live a much happier life.

    Check out the Alpha male other Alpha males go to for advice, Toni Robbins. He coaches athletes, presidents and leaders from all over the world, and CEO’s from Fortune 500 companies.

  36. Men do not “need” sex.

    Men don’t need sex like you don’t need clean drinking water. You can survive on drinking your own piss you retarded twat. Enjoy!

    Now be like your namesake and fuckoff.

  37. I just wanted to say: Thank you for writing this.
    This is probably the most recognisable blogpost I have ever read. I was (or am) in almost the exact same situation you were and can identify with almost everything you write.
    For a long time I felt girls were not interested in me and at some point just gave up on the entire thing because it just made things a lot simpler for me. Never expressing myself sexually and at some point just not caring anymore. Then I realised this was the exact thing that made me extremely unhappy. I wanted to fuck girls but was too afraid to do anything about it, what everyone would think if I would suddenly change my attitude.
    Stop seeking validation from people, and completely not caring about what anybody thinks about me has been the most positive changes I have ever made in my life. Doing this has made a lot happier, gained me new friends, even improved my interactions with people at work.
    I’m getting a lot more attention from women, and seeking more attention from women. I’m still not close to where I want to be and I feel I not improve myself a lot more. But reading your post gives me strength to know I can do this and will eventually get to where I want to be.

  38. […] Confessions of a Reformed Incel […]

  39. You are so delusional.
    This niceguy/asshole thing is pure fantasy.
    Getting a girl is just about being hot and not acting like a weirdo.
    That’s why you didn’t get laid for 12 years. It wasn’t feminism/ you being beta/being blue pill. You were just unattractive because you didn’t work out, had bad skin and acted like a manic depressive.
    The girls gave you bad advice?
    What the fuck does a straight girl know about picking up other girls!
    There is no need to hate on women just because they didn’t feel your “pain” of not getting laid for 12 years.
    By that logic we are all pieces of shit because we are not feeling the pain of the prisoners in the North Korean gulags.

  40. […] a smaller group of guys who need more than a sweaty night with bodies conjoined at the genitals. A powerful read on the lack of human touch is M3’s post on being involuntarily celibate (incel) […]

  41. […] So while waiting for server deployments, private eye reports, summaries, bank account statements and so on and so forth and neverendingly on and on, I’ve been entertaining myself on and off all morning reading Confessions of a Reformed InCel.i […]

  42. Hi M3. Hope life is treating you well, it’s been a while since you last posted. Anyway, as you were one of the great guys who took the time to answer my MGTOW Survey, I figured you might be interested to see the first results:


    Keep cool, man.

  43. Thank you for writing this, I dont feel like a bitter, jaded shitbag anymore. You’ve reminded me that it IS okay to be human, and to be a MAN. Im coming up on 4 frustrating years alone, and now I feel like someone screamed the most important message of my life at me. I have every right to fight for what I desire, it’s time to change tactics now. I gotta look the part, and think the part before I feel the part and stay the part. I’m gonna remember this post for a long time, all I have left to say is thank you. I can see the look on the faces of these girls who have ignored me before, once I’m better and recovered, I will enjoy making sure these women only get to look at me, they’ll never have a single iota of satisfaction from me in any aspect, I have new people to meet.

  44. I ignore women, when I choose to. I am hot and they see that. I’m not boasting, I’m just describing. I wasn’t always. My story is yours – my prime of life was spent in unbroken misery. Now, I love breaking their hearts for a change, and ignoring the shit out of them when they look to me, smile at me, and try and talk to me. I see right through it. Sometimes I smile and nod, most times I’ll smirk, and just turn my back. Makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside when I give them a taste of my pain. Now, I’m ugly on the inside and don’t give a fuck. What a waste? maybe. But so was my youth. You asked for it ‘ladies’, well you got it.

  45. I didn’t read the whole thing, I got annoyed half way through by your entitled attitude. 50 percent of the worlds population reject you? Well, maybe it’s YOU, not them! Your looks, your character, your personality… From the way you write you don’t seem like a well-mannered intelligent fella. You’re looking for sex in a loving relationship? Maybe don’t only go for the hot bitches that hang around in clubs (that’s a no-brainer, actually). You’re only looking for casual sex? Realize that and if you don’t find it in the clubs, go ahead and pay for it, but don’t expect to get more than just sex there. Also, being so enraged by the fact that women also go for looks first, is childish. With all that bitching and whining you’re just embarassing yourself. The consideration matches the performance, you won’t get more than you bring to the table. Critically evaluate yourself and then go for a woman that is in your league. Being realistic about your prospects, not having too high expectations and not being a misogynist usually does the trick.

  46. I can totally relate to the story. Parents divorced when I was 7. Absentee father. Raised by my mother and older sister. Taught by my mom to be nice, respectful, and a gentleman when interacting with women (you know where that gets you). Basically how she would have liked to have been treated by men. Constantly fed the “Just be yourself” nonsense by women. With being a skinny guy who lacked self-confidence because of it AND who was a clueless nice guy, I wasn’t much of a ladies man. Heard the “You’re a really nice guy but let’s just be friends” speech way too many times when I was lucky enough to get a date.
    Gave up and quit trying during my 20s. Random date here and there but still a clueless beta nice guy. Basically a misogynist who hated women for being so stupid as to be attracted to the guys who treat them like crap all the while wanting to turn them into the kind of guys they never want in the first place. I was the shoulder to cry on, the guy who heard, “Why can’t I find a guy like you” too many times…never mind the same ones who said that would be out with another jerk-type ahole who treats her like crap.
    Stayed MGTOW. Enjoyed never having to go through the inevitable divorce and enjoyed lack of child support payments.
    Then one day in my early 30s I stumbled upon some information in the PUA/Attraction community. Was it a friend who sent the email to me or was it just one of those things? It was about why nice guys finish last and at to do the change it. I started implementing the ideas and had some success. But I was a dating and relationship newbie. Had no clue about the testing thing women do or how basically it’s Masculinity behavior that attracts ‘em and keeps ‘em.
    Fast forward. 35 y/o and had a short relationship with a drama queen/emotionally needy woman. Are all woman like this? If they are, I’m outta here. Way too complicated. My life is too easy without a woman. Not worth it. Back to my MGTOW ways. Was something missing? Sure, but I weighed that against all the BS and hassles they put me through.
    Fast forward 5 years. My older cousin turns me on to The Red Pill. A light goes off. I examine my past with women. It all makes sense now. I’m working on improving myself in all areas. Lifting heavy, improving my self confidence and building a great life. Does life get better? Yes. Will women change their ways? No. They’ll always be attracted to what they’re attracted to, will squander their beauty years, then dupe some clueless beta into marrying them when they frantically realize they are approaching the wall. Beta will change because he has no idea about her tests or the Red Pill. Inevitable divorce. Now it’s same woman even more bitchy, but lots less beautiful now. It’s no wonder women like her have trouble finding a man especially after more and more of us wake up to their true nature. Why do we prefer younger prettier women? If we are going to be put through their BS and tests, then we’re going to enjoy that beauty. It’s a fair trade off. Why would you put up with the same BS and test from a bitter post-wall woman?

  47. I was in a hurry when I posted this, but I re-read it and wanted to correct my bad grammar and clarify something that could be read the wrong way.
    “It was about why nice guys finish last and what to do to change it. I started implementing the ideas and had some success.”
    “Beta will change because he has no idea about her tests or the Red Pill.” Beta will change as in fail her tests and change who he is, kiss her ass because he’s afraid he might make her mad by not changing, and doesn’t understand that by testing she’s asking him to act manly, have a spine and lead. Since he knows nothing of the red pill and still has his incorrect idealized beliefs about women.
    Think of how much divorce we could eliminate if boys were taught early on the true nature of women and what the red pill means.

  48. How interesting that some of the commentators here believe sex and relationships won’t save a person from anger and suicidal thoughts. As social animals that need touch and validation, how are we expected to feel after years of both social and skin hunger? Once a guy’s been feminized to the point where he expects women to treat him as a doormat or as an assistant for getting them the guys they really want, how would he feel in front of anyone – even other men? Will he have a social life at all, or will he instead be angry, dismal, and most of all lonely?

    It’s good to run across a story of ostracism that ends well. When we can accept that feelings aren’t exclusively the domain of women, and that our years of lonely experience have insight-generating value, who knows, it might get better still.
    ~ Thanks Always Returns

  49. Hi, M3. As always I hope you are doing well in every way. How’s your health, man? Still good? Miss your posts, but with any luck you’re “gone” because you’re happy.

    Anyway, I wanted to drop this line to let you know the second part of my MGTOW survey dissection was up. As you were one of the initial 22 respondents, thought you should be aware. Thanks again for your input!


    Stay safe and sane, my MGTOW friend.

  50. […] Confessions of a Reformed Incel […]

  51. One of the best reads I’ve come across on the web. My case wasn’t nearly as severe as yours, but definitely shades and echoes of the same symphony.

    Women don’t understand it. The rage is only partially sourced from the fact they “passed” on us; it’s more from the blatant hypocrisy and lies they told us that dissuaded us from “leveling up.”

    As you said, if they had just told you, “Lift weights, eat better, dress correctly, find interesting and productive hobbies, and be cockier and more confident in yourself,” it would have been a different story. Instead, they said, “Never change. You’re perfect the way you are.” Just not perfect for them or any other red-blooded woman on the planet.

  52. Hi again, M3.
    Same as my last comment…just letting you know the last part of my MGTOW Survey results are up. ‘Course, I’m still accepting input from other MGTOWs and will do a December update featuring their answers, but you were one of the first. 🙂

    Funny, even though this last post is about MGTOW views on women/relationships, I didn’t detect anything that could be called blatantly misogynistic…Huh, who woulda thunk it? /sarcasm

    The closest thing is the comment left by Richard, and even that is less “hateful towards all women” and more “a guy who was severely harmed by women, and is still hurting because our society sucks at acknowledging the pain of male abuse survivors”.

    But hey, that’s why we blog about these things, eh?

  53. Here’s the link for easier accessibility:


  54. Eat a fucking gun you worthless piece of shit. Seriously. Sometimes when you feel worthless, it’s because you are. The world would be a much better place without the likes of you in it.

  55. Hahahah.

    Thanks Stuart. My life is swimming right now, i love my life and everything that’s happened since i swallowed the red pill. The transformative powers of red pill thinking makes you irrelevant and this world is MUCH better without the likes of you in it i’m afraid.

    Enjoy the sights on the journey of go fuck yourself. Ta!

  56. M3,

    Geez, what a frickin douche. I can’t believe you still get comments like this, man.

  57. Tarnished, there will always be people like Stuart, that much is certain. All i need to do is enjoy my life as i have been doing and that’s enough to set off his rage meter. Because i don’t think/act/submit under the ‘rules’ he plays by and enforces for the scared victim mentality club.. this is all he’s got in his tool chest. The mark of a slave.

  58. […] you who question if omegas and lower betas would do this, simply lack the understanding of just how brutal the sexual market place is for these […]

  59. To all the commenters who can’t relate to this post and/or suggested M3 shouldn’t have written it and/or claim that his experiences are “wrong” or “worthless”:

    Fuck you.

    You don’t know even the first thing about it.

    You don’t know what you’re talking about.

    Fuck you.

    that is all.

  60. @thedeti

    Hear, hear.

  61. My story is similar. Mine was 9 1/2 years. I get it all. It’s simply a wound that will never heal.

  62. Saved me from killing myself today. Thanks. Dated same woman almost two decades. Always had opportunity for sex, but she avoided me for stupid reasons, using BS excuses to never have a life with me but also never dump me, either. I dont know why I didnt leave after a 1-year period of not seeing her was followed by ANOTHER one, and a third. Three visits in four years back to back. I have a new woman now in a LDR, the “old” one is too stupid to realize she’s been replaced and we fight before I can even tell her. I’d stopped caring about her years ago, but I’d still felt guilt. The more in my relationship that she pulled this feminist shit on me, the worse things became despite the more I’d followed her rules. Apologize for something? Thats a pass to bitch and scream at me non-stop, even if I was apologizing just to end the last fight we were in. “I want someone to treat me right” “Well, start treating ME right” I said. “I would if you wouldnt be such a controlling asshole” CONTROLLING? If I was controlling, we’d have been married and sucking my dick every night, at least not avoiding me for a year at a time, fuck you! What a cunt. I’m happy and thrilled that I’d stopped being the bullshit nice guy and immediately met up with a gorgeous young thing that has her shit together and cant wait to be with me.
    Thanks, man.

  63. what a little bitch.. he goes on and on being soooo huurttt.. and then he says he had sex at “a late 17” … dude, ive never had sex and iam 26. … big fucking deal, i know what it means to be a man.


  64. ” i know what it means to be a man. ”


  65. “i know what it means to be a man”

    I think you got that one wrong.

  66. Something to keep in mind. Things constantly change. I’ve been there man, really. Maybe not as extreme as your situation but I’ve felt those things too.

    Improving the self is essential in ones life but you can’t constantly look Fter only yourself first, that’s just the opposite extreme of where you were before. Extremes will never satisfy because they never last.

    Aim for the middle friend. Naturally you’ll find it after time once you’ve seen that neither extreme is satisfying. Caring about others is a truly rewarding experience and can I lay be experienced that way by someone who has self actualized.

    Good luck on your journey my friend!

  67. Wow, you just perfectly and I mean “perfectly” described so many of my emotions. I mean: the shit some women say, believing that being a nice guy is the way to go, women and men talking about their “dry spell”, hearing women talk about how they hate players and watching them sleep with those players. Nowaydays I got a girlfriend, but I don’t think the “emotional scars” will ever heal. I love my girlfriend, who I’ve been together with for more than 2 years, yet I still feel depressed and sexually unattractive. I hope that I’ll resist the urge to cheat just to better my self-image. Furthemore I Just wanna say: thanks. Thanks for making me feel understood. Because I don’t think I’ll ever be able to talk to someone about these emotions.

  68. J,
    If you’re here on this page reading this then you know how confusing women are. Logically, being with a nice guy SHOULD be satisfying to them, but it never works that way. They, being fixers by nature, find it a challenge to turn the guys they’re attracted to into the kind of guys they SHOULD want to be with but never want in the first place. And if they succeed in turning the guys they were attracted to into the kind of guys they never want to start out with? They lose all respect for the spineless, supplicating wimps that, if they aren’t already cheating, they soon will be. And the guys they will cheat with? Those will be badboy, jerk-type assholes who treat women like f*ck toys and c*m dumpsters. And maybe they won’t cheat, but they’ve already got an alpha badboy picked out and it’s only a matter of time before the clueless bastard will be dumped.
    Ever wonder why women overwhelmingly initiate divorce? See above scenario. Or, the women “settled down” after too long of a ride on the c*ck carousel all the while being used as a f*ck toy c*m dumpster, and married some clueless beta nice guy. How long after they said “I do” to the clueless nice guy betas that they are wishing they could be back to being treated like a f*ck toy c*m dumpster by some alpha bad boy?

    Women wonder where all the good guys are, but won’t dare ask a nice guy out. Nope, they need plausible deniability so they never officially asked a guy out. That way they can never officially be rejected. Nice reasoning, huh? Some of the good guys are clueless when it comes to subtle hints and could use an obvious sign of her interest that has no chance whatsoever to be misconstrued.

    Being a nice guy is equivalent to being a fat girl: the opposite sex wants nothing to do with them.

    But, the nice guys don’t lead, don’t take risks, and are afraid of being rejected. But are they mostly the good ones who would treat women the way they want their alpha bad boy jerks to treat them? Yep.

    I was the former clueless beta nice guy scratching my head after getting the “you’re a really nice guy but let’s just be friends” speech for the umpteeth time. But act like an idiot, make a fool of yourself, be a jerk and treat women like crap? You bet. They love it. Carrot on a stick: mostly treat them like crap and dole out just enough nice treatment to keep them coming back for more.

    I kind of figured out that the women who are attracted to the jerks who treat them like crap have low self esteem and unresolved daddy issues. Think about it: the first relationship any girl has with a man is the one she has with her dad. You’ve heard about how a woman will choose a man to marry who is mostly pretty similar to her father? She’s basically looking for a surrogate father figure to replace that fatherly love she knew as a little girl. Ever hear a woman say, “I just want someone to take care of me”? Take care of, as in the way a father takes care of his daughter?

    But congrats on the gf. You are doing something right. It is nice to have someone in your life. Is she a keeper? Does she test you quite a bit? My take on the testing they do ties back in to the disciplinarian aspect of the surrogate father figure. Think about how a bratty teenager acting out is really crying out for discipline. Ever hear a woman say, “I want someone to call me on my bullshit and put me in my place.” So don’t cave in, don’t give the tantrum-throwing child the toy when they act out. Be aware of the tests…they never end and they come out of the blue. You are always being evaluated. Pass one their tests and you get to start from scratch again. Their tests and their memories have yet to
    be introduced apparently.

    I’d like other’s thoughts on the surrogate father figure theory. To me it makes sense and explains a lot of their behavior. And yes ladies, it works the other way too: Guys are looking to replace that unconditional motherly love.

    Your scars will heal…it just takes time. You were lied to. We all were. You can’t change feminine nature when it comes to attraction and the kind of guys they want, and why they’ll tolerate being treated like crap by the exciting alpha jerk-type asshole bad boy. It’s ingrained in their DNA.

    And J, visit the Red Pill on Reddit if you haven’t already.

  69. Brian,

    The “surrogate father” theory is interesting, but it may only be a viable hypothesis in regards to women who’ve not yet fully matured mentally (regardless of their actual, physical age). Most adults should understand that the care given to a child is different than the care one would give to a spouse or partner. For example, you wouldn’t pick out your partner’s clothing for the day or fuss over them if they get a minor injury, since they are adults who can do that for themselves. If you did, it’d likely be seen as patronizing.

    However, given that Maslow’s hierarchy of needs do state that we require our Safety (stability, limits, protection) and our Belongingness (family, affection, love) tiers to be fulfilled before being capable of moving on fully to the next ones, your idea has some merit. The question would be then, if someone had poor self-esteem and cognitive awareness due to an unfulfilled lower tier, shouldn’t they then be able to progress after receiving it in a future relationship? Unless something else is holding them back, this hypothetical man or woman should continue to become more self-actualized, not remain dependent on the person who is acting as a tier surrogate.


  70. I was reading Follow Your Bliss by Joesph Campbell and he mentions the Jungian archetype symbolism burned into the human psyche. While the book was not about female behavior regarding dating, it did make me think about the father figure and approval seeking.

    The surrogate father figure represents the father archetype. To a young girl a father is a provider and a protector, an authoritarian, strong and masculine. While growing up the father takes care of the deeply-rooted fear of abandonment all females have. So let’s say growing up the girl didn’t have a good relationship with her father. She didn’t get his approval, the father wasn’t able to be there when she needed him, and now she still craves the fulfillment of his approval and desires to “fix” that relationship by seeking the approval of a guy she meets who has all the characteristics of the father figure archetype. My guess is the jerk-type asshole represents the challenge of the approval she seeks. If she can tame the jerk and turn him into the nice guy, she can thereby fix the broken daddy relationship.

    This motivation is the only thing that makes sense when I wonder why anyone would consciously seek out an abusive partner. Why would someone actually want to be with another person who uses the carrot-on-a-stick manipulation, whereby the carrot represents the nice treatment she is only allowed to grasp and taste a very miniscule portion every once in a while? Is this the disciplinarian aspect and thereby approval seeking of the father figure? Sure, the jerk is most likey exciting, but he’s also an asshole who treats her like crap, so why would she keep coming back for more and actually seek out another similar guy once that relationship has run its course? Why wouldn’t she override the vagina tingles she gets from the jerk by using logic and reason and actually go for a guy who has good qualities? Oh wait…women…and logic…and reason? I forgot about that. It’s primacy of emotions and feelings that override logic and reason.

    When women “wise up” later in life and settle for a nonjerk, are they truly happy? Does the nonjerk give her those vagina tingles? Does the nonjerk satisfy the requirements of the surrogate father figure? Most likely he does not, is supplicating and fails her tests.
    I believe her tests are again desiring to see a display of masculinity, and that again goes back to the surrogate father figure.
    Failure of her tests = loss of repsect …if the spineless nonjerk ever earned any of hers to begin with.

    So with the father figure theory in mind this would seem to make sense as to why the nice guys don’t do well with women. Nice guys too freely give up their time and are too eager to please. Is the father figure archetype eager to please the daughter? No. Does the daughter have to try to earn the father figure’s approval? Yes. Does she have to earn the nonjerk niceguy’s approval? Nope. So boredom sets in and there’s no challenge for her to earn the father figure’s approval.

    So, even if she has matured and has had different levels of her needs met, does this override the pull of the badboy jerk’s behavior that so many other women fall for? If she has had her needs met and has emotionally matured, what happens when she is presented with two identical twins with bodies of Greek gods differing only in personality? One attractive twin is the outgoing, self-condfident, assertive, life-of-the-party jerktype asshole who treats her like crap, and the other attractive twin is the nice guy, who is a respectful gentleman, attentive to her needs, opens doors for her and is always available to help? Which one do you think she feels that visceral, primal tug for? And why is that? What deep-seated needs of hers does the jerk’s behavior meet?

    I’m no psychologist, nor am I a sociologist, but I’ve been trying to figure out female behavior as it regards the dating game. This father figure theory makes the most sense to me. My last gf was a prime example of this. The father of her two boys was the jerktype asshole who physically abused her. And what type of relationship did she have with her father? They were always butting heads about something.

  71. I’ve tried to help a male friend get to the manosphere to get his relationship knowledge in check with reality… he just won’t do it. I can see a lot of what you said here (I’m so sorry you went through that) in what he describes is his life. How can I help someone who doesn’t want to really be helped – at least, not enough to make changes. I’m not the girl that is telling him what he wants to hear (that he’s enough as is, that he should be liked for who he is etc.), and yet he still won’t do anything.

  72. I understand most of this behavior is biologically hardwired, but surely the more intelligent and aware of our species can self reflect & not make the exact same stupid decisions? Personally I’m smart enough & good looking enough to study up & work some PUA game but that wouldn’t be the real me. I’d just be a fake actor with as much emptiness inside as if I weren’t interacting at all. I’m just hoping there is an intelligent aware girl out there who sees through the mind games & BS of our primal instincts. I would think a modern intelligent person that knows life is basically just a big pointless distraction…would just want to be with a nice attractive person & hang out, get fucked up, etc…drop out of the bullshit of society…but apparently not. yeah I’m getting closer & closer to killing myself. There’s just no point in any of it & it’s all so stupid & miserable except for music & art.

  73. Greg, dont do PUA, but do learn Game and do the self improvement part, and expose yourself to more people and social activities.

    The “real you” is not the real you unless youre fully realized and happy. Chances are you’re just holding to ideas and comfort zones that are not real and therefore do not work.

    “I’m just hoping there is an intelligent aware girl out there who sees through the mind games & BS of our primal instincts”

    Dont do that – first, what you’re saying doesnt mean what you pretend it means, and you’re not able, yourself, to see through the “BS and primal instincts” or you’d be banging an overweight 90 year old instead of dreaming of a quality woman.

    Learn what it means to be a quality man and be it. Girls will come after you, as well as better life opportunities. But get out of the hole first.

  74. Im 20 average height and have erectile dysfunction and have to take pills that are made for 70 year old men just to have sex and yet I have a gorgeous girlfriend that loves me and completely accepts me for my condition, by your way of thinking I should be a lonely basment dwelling loser and should have no chance of ever getting laid, yet I am, so I don’t really see this hypergamy thing your talking about or these rampant sex obessed self entitled whores you talk about ethier who only fuck Brad Pitt look alikes because I’m definitely a solid 6 with a broke penis and by those statistics alone, according to your theories I should be alone forever.

  75. Captain, other than your broken penis and your average height, what else do you have going on in your favor?

  76. Because your experience is the one a majority of men experience right? Lol. Because most “gorgeous girls” are hunkering down with average height ED guys and it’s the frat boys, jocks and assholes that are living sexless lives amiright?

    Congrats on beating the odds. Now stop being stupid and assuming your position is happening on a macro scale.

  77. He didnt say, maybe he’s a swim suit model rich frat boy who got his penis broken while fucking his girlfriends mom. Context is king.

  78. I’m interested too. I want to know what “average height” is in actual feet/centimetres. What he does for a living. His build. His level of extroversion. His level of “game”.

  79. Heh very true.

  80. This guy’s a moron. LOL

  81. I’m a 32 year old male. I haven’t had any female contact since 2005.
    I’m hurting inside. I hate everyone. I want to share my pain with everyone. If I don’t have sex by the end of 2015 I WILL share my pain with the world. They will understand then.

  82. Truth teller, thank you for your constructive comment.

  83. No One.

    I get your pain. I sympathize. I empathize.

    I do not endorse your Elliot Rodgeresque ending to your comment. Perhaps you’d like to spend some time talking to here with other like minded folks. Perhaps you’d like to share the circumstances surrounding your incel status and how you came to fall into it. Perhaps you’d like to be recommended some very insightful blogs or books on how to better yourself as a man and become more attractive.. becoming proactive rather than reactive and taking control of your own destiny.

    I honestly at this moment cannot tell if this is genuine or a troll of feminazi persuasion testing the waters to see the response. For the record i will say emphatically – I CONDEMN RODGER’s and anyone else who would commit harm upon others. If you’re here insinuating you intend to go postal, you better clarify pronto. I can empathize with those who have lost hope, but exacting ‘revenge’ rather than taking ownership of your life and committing to change for the better is gutless and spineless. At the height of my incelness, i wanted to die. But i never envisioned taking anyone down with me, knowing the ripple effect of pain it would cause everyone involved with my perceived tormentors.

    Be a man. Pick yourself up. Fix yourself. Know yourself. Love yourself. Become yourtrueself. The rest falls into place. Make any vague threats again and i report your IP. This is the sphere of change, not the sphere of cowards.

  84. I just wanted to say “thank you”, M3, for condemning Rodgers heinous actions while simultaneously sympathizing with this recent commenter’s pain and distress.
    I’d also like to state right now that if this person is actually truthful (not trolling), I am happy to talk to them privately or here I’m the comments. Nobody should feel so alone that they’re considering causing harm…either to themselves or others.

  85. ur welcum Tarny

    I’ve listened to countless stories from incel’s and offered advice where i could knowing too well what’s raging beneath the surface.

    At the same time, while part of me understood the psychological elements of why Rogers went off.. i found his actions sickening and deplorable when i simply decided as a thought exercise to randomly insert both my gf and my best man into Rogers victim list. Of the multiple men and women Rogers killed, all of them were ultimately random individuals that could very easily have been someone near and dear to me. All it would take is a ‘wrong place, wrong time’ moment to feel the fear and anger of anyone related to the victims.

    Rogers lashing out was irrational to everyone but him. Anyone even coming close to thinking about following his footsteps should buck the fuck up, seek out some professional manospherian help, read Rollo’s books until the world makes perfect sense and then apply their newfound self to the world knowing the rules of the game.

    For all the empathy i have, if you feel the absolute need to kill, make sure it’s a party of one. Nobody deserves to die for your lack of effort.

  86. Precisely.
    Though it may seem at times that the entire world is literally against you, that is honestly not the case. The individuals who hurt you are not the same as the random schoolteacher, nurse, architect, college student, secretary, or sanitation worker who may very well be wonderful, caring people caught in your rage. Nobody deserves to live for years without love or intimacy, and neither does anyone deserve to be “punished” for crimes they didn’t commit.

    I hope this person, if not a troll, replies again so we might speak with them and perhaps help.

  87. Unplugging from the feminist matrix has been a big wake up call. For the most part understand that this the reality that we are living in is crucial.

  88. Sounds like you couldn’t get any pussy because you were a pussy little faggot. In fact, still sounds like you’re a pussy little faggot. Waa, waa, no one will touch my dick. My life is so hard.

    I’m gay and I’ve probably had more women than you have. Mostly ’cause I don’t whine like a little bitch.

  89. Growsomeballs… Is your namesake your personal life goal?

    What are you.. Fucking 4 years old? Come back when your pubes come in.

  90. A lot of talk here about Eliot Rodgers. I’ll tell you, the first thing I thought when I heard about his posthumous rantings was… “fake”. Oh yeah, he really wrote all that, and he really suffered all that, but that’s not why he killed all those people.

    How do I know? Because I didn’t. It takes years, decades, to finally persuade yourself that this shit is real, it’s not temporary, it’s not some kind of aberration, it’s an integral part of your existence.

    Rodgers was a kid. He hadn’t had those decades. It didn’t matter, because he already knew why he couldn’t get laid. It was because there was something wrong with him. He couldn’t come to terms with it. He has nothing in common with me, and nothing in common with you, M3.

    I have to be frank, M3, you disgust me. You have based your entire view of human relationships on your asshole friends. (And why do you have so many asshole friends? Or do they just become assholes after they succeed with women you’ve failed with?) You haven’t found a way of having meaningful human relationships. You’ve just turned yourself into a sleaseball to escape the self-contempt – undeserved in my opinion – that you used to feel.

    Let’s put it simply; the point of not being that guy – the operator, the PUA – is not because “women like nice guys”. The point is NOT TO BE THAT GUY.

    The point of being that guy is NOT to get laid. The point is that you can’t make it as a real human being, so you fill the hole with easy conquests. Because getting laid is easy, as you have discovered. But then you always knew that, didn’t you? It used to be something else that you were looking for.

    A smart man once said to me, “Why do you base your whole life on what women think of you?” Wise words, that have come to me again and again in different forms from different people. And the women whose opinion you seem to value now are such great judges of character…

  91. Growsomeballs.. Nice name. Must be your life’s goal. What are you, 4 years old? Come back when your balls drop before speaking on subjects you have no experience with and you learn how to actually have proper discourse. PS. I can’t recall the last time someone who was gay threw around the invective “faggot”.. You’re more troll than gay.

  92. Gus, if you’re disgusted, so be it. I don’t care. You obviously haven’t taken the time to read further into my blog. You are obviously unaware that I am now into year the of a deeply satisfying long term relationship with a very smart, strong, independent red pill girl who understands what a complementary relationship means (and a girl who rejects feminism outright as a hideous ideology that was designed to increase consumerism, destroy the ability of a 1 income family to exist and put kids in the care of the state through daycare instead of with the mother). As to my Asshole friends, once I learned how to be confident and became self actualized, I no longer was insecure or codependent on the need to have “friends” of that caliber and dumped them by the wayside. No the point was it was a journey and not an overnight transformation. You’ve written allot of assumptions, mostly wrong. Only way you’ll figure that out is if you read beyond the catalyzing moment. Something tells me you won’t bother.. And I still won’t care in any case. Redpill thinking restored my life, and really don’t give 2 shits if the beginning of that journey was too much for you and your feelz to handle.

  93. Sorry about not awnsering in a while, I have been busy with work, and Lmao these comments are hilarious. Apparently I must be a secret GQ model or very well off, I especially loved the comment about pucking my gfs mom that’s made me lol quite good. As for these stats you seem to be asking about I’m 5’8″ and decently muscular, but I lost
    a good amount do to being extremely suicidal over my erectile dysfunction, it’s
    like the female equivalent of finding out you can’t have kids, I was pretty devastated and still am, you guys should count your lucky stars you got fully functional dicks, even if you can’t use them. And I actually was like the biggest mgtow supporter before I had this problem, but after finding a girl who could expect for this how could I think every girl is a cock hungry slut who only fucks guys with killer performance in bed when I have the sweetest most understanding girl right in front of me, and I was a virgin before I met her, so I didn’t notice my ED untill I started failing at having sex with her like 8 times which is a lot when you only see someone once a week. And I live in NewYork, the fashion capital of the world, so their is no shortage of super models guys with fully
    functioning dicks, and yes my penis is bigger then average, about 8 but who
    cares if I can’t even stay hard enough to penetrate a women, like I said we didn’t have sex for like 3 solid months, she could have easily pulled a Shannon Tatum look alike with a bigger and fully useable duck in the 3 month time frame but she didn’t. I also know plenty of short guys who pull girls that are way hotter then mine. And I work in landscaping and make a 100 dollars a week . All I am saying is maybe there is a chance for you guys to find something like I did, instead of outing every female on the planet and making these crack pot theories about how you can’t get laid, the only thing about mgtow that I agree one hundred percent on, is women who think they can puck 400 guys untill they are 30 and then sit back relax and wait for the Paul Rudd type of guy to pull up and wisk them away in there Porsche 911, that is straight up feminist bullshit right their.

  94. Remember that crazy fuck from California that went on that shooting spree before killing himself? The one that made those creepy ass videos explaining how everyone deserved to die because he wasn’t getting laid? Your pathetic story reminds me of this crazy fuck. You remind me of him. I guess his names Elliot Rodger:


    What’s fucked up is how intelligent you appear to be. You have a very accurate and detailed understanding of the dynamics of sex in western society. But what’s so sad is that you apparently are unable to look beyond sex to derive any meaning in your life. That’s so sad and pathetic. I mean, good for you for figuring all this shit out and banging attractive women on the reg. I’m a 23 year old dude that loves sex just as much as you do. I’m about as sexually charged as they come. If on a given day that I’m not having sex, I have to beat a couple off just to stay sane. I’ve had my experiences with (seemingly) evil women. I can relate to you and understand everything that you throw out there. But when I put myself in your shoes, it seems you’re missing something pretty big. It’s what reminds me of Elliot Rodger. The guy views the world the same way you do: “If you’re not getting laid, you might as well be dead.” Was your upbringing completely void of any sort of love or spirituality? It sounds harsh, but at times while I’m reading this, it seems like you are even lacking a human soul. Do you really need to have sex to feel like a human? Goddamn man, I would say you’ve largely ruined your life in search of something that is unobtainable. That doesn’t even exist. You need to break out of this view that you have, that is driven completely by sex. I would recommend experimenting with hallucinogenic drugs, meditation, Buddhism, or whatever you’re willing to do. Use them as a tool to open your mind past this sexual desire that you’re stuck on. My own experiences have led to one fundamental truth: This life we live is the only thing we know for sure. So when you’re dead, is it really going to matter how many women you’ve fucked throughout your life? The reality that you personaly live in, is the way it is, because of the emphasis and value you place on sex. The sex drive is a deeply seeded instinct in our brains. It’s so basic. So animalistic. If you let these urges control your life, then you’re no better than a rabbit. You’re no better than a fish. Eat and fuck. Repeat. For your own sake man, open up your mind to alternative ways of thinking. I know your older than me, and definitely more experienced, but I feel like you’re stuck on this one thing that’s haunted every man at some point in his life. Let go of it. Form deep and fulfilling relationships that are not centered on sex. And if you don’t think that’s possible, or are unwilling to accept it, then so be it. It’s your loss. Anyways, sorry for being so harsh at the beginning. It shocks me how you can be so intelligent and ignorant at the same time. I really hope everything works out for you man. Peace.

  95. Don’t Be,

    I’d highly recommended reading M3’s more recent posts. His life is very different now, and not stuck in the pain and anguish shown in this particular one.

    And just fyi, M3 is definitely not a Rodgers-clone. There’s blogs I can point you to that actually are very similar and frankly disturbing in how they speak of men and women…This is not one of those. Trust me, I stopped blogging a few months ago because I got tired of having to delete/moderate comments calling me a “cunt” and “bitch” and emails suggesting I’m a diseased slut who lies about the number of partners I’ve had (1) and saying I should go do harmful sexual activities with myself or go “get raped” by incels if I care about them. There *are* guys out in the internet who honestly hate women as a sex, or only see them as walking sex toys. Men who are literally obsessed with the idea of sex, much as you describe above.

    But M3 has never been like this, as far as I’ve ever been able to tell. He is a good man and an intelligent person who was hurt, and was justifiably angered by the contradictory information presented in society according to most male-female relationships. Do I agree with everything he says? No, but then I’m lucky enough to have a long term FwB arrangement where I don’t have to pretend to be feminine or cater to traditional gender roles. Our views on how relationships should be are dissimilar, yet we still manage to be polite and respectful toward each other.

    Seriously man, your heart might be in the right place…that remains to be seen…but you’re barking up the wrong tree.

  96. Thanks for the kind words Tarn.. I’ve always respected your opinions and the way you carry yourself. I am very sorry to hear you hung up blogging, particularly due to may vicious comments from ideological zealots and mental deficiencts incapable of constructive discourse. Your polls, your efforts, understanding, warmth, compassion and empathy will be missed by many. You’ve always been a good cookie. I hope all is still going well in every other facet of your life and relationship. Live long and prosper _\V/

  97. God you are a horrible person.

  98. Thanks for the feedback fiona!

  99. The ‘friend’ you loved. Yeah right. First, you ignored her clearly expressed wishes. She was young and wanted fun and not a relationship. You demanded one. Yo were obviously the clinging suffocating needy and jealous type. You have no self-confidence and you ask to be victimized: guys like you are utterly selfish. You said you ‘cared about her’ and this other guy ‘only wanted her vagia” well if that was true, why did you tell her “no vagina, no friendship”?
    You and the player wanted the very same thing. The difference was, he was honest. And you lied, in the creepiest way. The player listened to her and he treated her as his sexual equal: a horny young thing that wanted lots of top shagging, not some mopey relationship…sorry but guys like you always give the impression that your hands will be damp, and that you get your ideas of sex from porn “Oh yeah oh yeah! Do you like that, baby?”
    Guys like your player friend are the ones who actually do respect women no matter what they say to you. They may run women down to their male friends. But they are the ones who really listen to a woman’s needs and desires, they listen to her body..see, he said “how lovely her back was’ because he gave it her the way she wanted it. and what a lovely thing to notice, her ‘lovely back’.
    Guys like this are going to be chosen because a young woman like that wants fun! why didnt you pick a quiet studious woman who wants a relationship? Its totally disrespectful to try and impose your wishes on a person you have called a friend.
    She didnt ‘lose a wonderful friendship”. She dodged a bullet. You guys dont make good boyfriends. You want to own and control the girl: No more getting naked at parties and dancing on the bar! You’re my girlfriend now, got to belong to me! I want long romantic walks. I want to give you breakfast in bed. I want you to want what I want. I dont want you to talk to that guy. Who was that on the phone? Where are you going? You were a long time in the bathroom. I want you to be passive. Please dont argue with me…I dont like it. I dont want a lively dust-up. Lets be nice and sweet. Now lets have some more sex…grope grope slobber slobber…dont tell me I’m doing it wrong! You should defer to me! You hurt my feelings!

  100. Keep talking. Your bullshit is amusing at this point. I especially like the bit where you admit my Roosh-like friend wasnt the misogynist for simply wanting to use her as a cum receptacle, whereas my desire to be with because i cared about her was based purely on misogyny. What more nuggets of wisdom do you have to share?

  101. I thank you for writing this post, ive been around the sphere for a while but its always humbling to read another man´s endeavor with his life and come throught it better than before. Bookmarked this page.

  102. Dare to compare!


    Longing for a partner and wanting crippling loneliness to end is only printable if you are a female/feminist apparently.

    This is why the Redpill reddit exists. This is why the sphere exists. This is why dudes get angry.

  103. The sole reason there aren’t a lot more male prostitutes and strippers is because MEN are too conceited to “submit” themselves to women. The majority of male prostitutes are gay, and ONLY sell themselves to other men. See, men have no problem surrendering themselves to the desires of other men, but God forbid if they were to give themselves over to women.

    Another reason straight men refuse to be prostitutes is because they believe that only “fat” and “ugly” women will hire them, because they assume a “hot” woman will have no need to pay for sex. Again, these men are being judgmental douchebags by refusing to have sex with a woman they deem unattractive, even if they are getting paid to do it. Blame the lack of male prostitutes on the men who refuse to be prostitutes, not these imaginary women you think don’t want sex.

    BTW I’m a 34-year-old FEMALE incel who has never had a boyfriend or had sex. EVER. And no, I am not “being picky.” Literally NO man ever shows interest in me. EVER. I know both men and women far fatter and uglier than me who have very fulfilling relationships, even happily married for years, so looks aren’t the issue either.

    So before you go flapping your yap about how women don’t understand what it means to be incel, remember that there are just as many incel women as there are men, NOT counting those who whine about going a few weeks or months without sex. I have been to several forums and met several women, some nearly twice my age, who have either not been with a man in over a decade, or more commonly, never been with a man in their entire lives.

    And before you say that it’s impossible for a woman to be incel because you think any woman can get laid if she simply lowers her standards enough, I will remind you that I have NEVER had a man interested in me. Not “I’ve never had a sexy man interested in me.” I’ve never had ANY man interested. EVER. There have been a couple of times were a guy seemed to show interest, and we met briefly a few times, but then he bolted before we could even share a first kiss. So obviously, NOT interested in me. They ditched me, not the other way around.

    Also, if you still refuse to believe in incel women, go onto an incel forum and try to meet some of these women. It’s because of men judging them solely by their appearance that they remain incels, so basically, it’s YOUR fault. It’s also YOUR fault you’re an incel, because you are refusing to lower your ridiculous, evil standards and go out with a woman who isn’t a fucking supermodel.

  104. Just read The Telegraph article. While I sympathize with the writer, it is telling that it never once occurred to her, or many of the female respondents, that a man can experience the same feelings of loneliness. It is just assumed that a man has the wherewithal to keep approaching women, regardless of how many rejections he gets, should be willing to lower his standards, and he will eventually find someone.

    42 & still alone.

  105. We seem to live in an interesting time in history, I’ve more or less missed (the train, the boat, etc) of my reproductive peak, or sexual prime, and so feel as if I’m doomed to wander some sort of wasteland for like 99+ years until (if, I ever) come home.

    This is the stark reality, I haven’t read through all the comments above, but here is my personal experience:

    *Around when I was 18 I started rapidly entering a phase of ‘heat’, and became desperate for a girlfriend, and/or to get laid, I was mentally ill for many years before, and had been on and off several different medications, plus my life was derailed due to several events that required to change my home etc etc.

    Because of all that I had very little social contact for the first 2 years of my life (I start counting from 16, because I don’t remember being alive prior to being 16, long story),[1] since ‘I’ was only here temporarily, ‘I’ felt like I had a problem to fix

    Since the traumatic series of events derailed my life, I had to catch up both socially and romantically (in terms of both those skills), whereas for others it seemed to have been smooth sailing

    Since ‘I’ was actually here, I ended up being very jealous of any of other college students whose lives seemed to be a form of smooth sailing, requiring no effort, with almost instinctive self-regulation and living

    For me everything was manual

    Anyways by the time I had learned social skills (I had learned game, or PUA, via Neil Strauss, Mystery, Juggler, etc), I was fairly decent at talking, and was far more clairvoyant than other people

    But since ‘I’ was here, I messed everything up, and about 3 years later, seemed to have lost all my libido, etc.

    I’m 22 now, my constant waking experience is that of my testes dying, being pricked by needles, and losing their sperm, etc. They also feel empty and dry (like they’re filled with dust, or something)

    I’m not sure how to put it into words, but getting laid was never the issue, and I never believed I could actually do it with ‘me’ here anyways (‘I’ always fuck everything up)

    But essentially, the annoying part seems to be that I lost my chance to perform sexually at my peak 18‐22, but again that doesn’t actually bother me

    Also, as others have reported, my libido actually seems to be mostly gone, but I’ve been reporting that since I was 15‐16, I’ve also been on and off several different SSRIs (Lexapro, Prozac, Pristiq, I also took Lorazepam and Abilify)


    I’ve had many thoughts about the issue, and it often becomes religious for me, or psychonautic, involving Christianity, Islam, therapy, psychology (in the Reich and Lowen tradition, sometimes I feel like I’m a parasitic psychopath), magickal (I’ve thought that this was a ‘wasteland’ period), an afterlife, etc.

    I’ve occasionally thought that I had actually died at 16 (in some metaphorical way), and was thus a ghost, etc.

    But basically it involves this notion that because I’ve somehow: missed the train, I have to spent aeons wandering along a very roundabout path or trajectory, to ever even come home.

    Other thoughts:

    It literally feels like my balls are being raped, like this entire ‘incel’ period feels like abuse to me, or some form of rape, because it’s involuntary, it feels like my very manhood, ‘me’, my children, ‘who i am’, is or are dying

    My libido is dying, the dry period is messing with my head, occasionally I somehow manage to convince myself I was a homosexual all my life (even though I’ve only ever fantasized about having sex with women, both when I masturbate, and see them, etc.)

    There’s a great period of being forlorn, destitute, in a wasteland, some form of dry desert, etc. It feels like I’ve missed an opportunity, a boat, a train, something I can ‘never’ get back, and must wander this longer roundabout path, arc, trajectory, to get home, etc.

    I don’t doubt that I’ll eventually get home, it just sucks that I wasn’t able to fulfill any of those aims or objects (my reproductive prerogative or imperative)

    One last thought:

    The spawn of this entire issue seems to be when my mind‐body process got out of wack or out of sync when I was 16, constantly, even though I was scrambling to juggle all the plates or get everything in order, it just kept getting bigger and bigger (the divide between the two things that were supposed to be in sync), until I was no longer able to control it

    Occasionally I’ve also thought that by trying too hard to get laid, I didn’t succeed, but either way, I wouldn’t know, because I never actually got laid (so I never got to find out, I suppose)


    1. Essentially, some sort of trauma broke into my life, that forced ‘me’ to be here for the first time, and do everything manually, in other words, my body was out of sync with its drives and urges, so it created ‘me’ (an ego, as psychology would call it), to get me back on track


    my life was derailed in adolescence, and I had to manually pick up the pieces

    Very, very, very, important thoughts:

    In lieu of all the gays rights crap (sorry for using that word, I actually don’t care about what people do in the privacy of their bedroom, etc.) it would seem that it’s pertinent to mention some things:

    *The sexual marketplace is currently very stratifying, by allowing women to ‘choose’ who they have sex with, and making it a woman’s ‘prerogative’ (we can discuss this can of worms later), we have effectively allowed them to dictate the future of the human race (in terms of evolution

    *Because women have never actually chosen before, they haven’t discerned their reproductive duty (like Adam did when he was given the fruit from the tree of knowledge, he discerned what was right and wrong and the imperative to do what was right)

    *blah blah blah, something about the government subsidizing women’s choices, and giving women free will, but also shelter from the consequences or results of their actions, decisions, and choices, i.e. through denying that they even choose in the first place (victimhood), through denying the “effect” (of sex), through contraception and abortion, etc.

    *some form of can of worms argument, about how granting someone privilege, and freedom, means that the “cat’s out the bag”, or the “genie’s out the bottle”, or “Pandora’s box has been opened”, and now we have to grant everyone the same privileges and freedoms, because: why not? or, it would be hypocritical not to, etc. (see postmodernism and relativism: nothing is true, then anything can be true, and since nothing is true (there is no “truth”), then everything is “permitted”, etc. The historical Buddha said that someone who lied was capable of doing anything, the Itivuttaka)

    *the sexual marketplace is the most dangerous place on earth, and since every man has sperm and wants to reproduce, they are all forced to be participants in it, though they are unwilling, it is painful because:

    *you are literally laying your ‘self’, you being, your self worth, your value on the line, and hoping someone would choose, validate, judge, or consider you, and if no one does (or someone rejects you), it destroys your self, self worth, manhood, your sperm (your children, what ‘you’ have to offer the human race, in terms of the gene pool, genetically, etc.), your self-esteem, whether or not you’re normal, creepy or worth anything, or ‘bad’, etc.

    In other words: you’re laying everything on the line, hoping someone will choose or validate you, and this is dangerous because:

    although a person might lay some of their work on the line, it’s never the same as a man laying his balls on the line, literally what he has to offer the human race in terms of genetic modifications or advancements, it’s his very ‘self’ (or sense of self worth), which is why sex is so validating

    There’s a lot to say, but ultimately women seem to be in a transition period, they still live according to their instincts, although rationally they perceive themselves as autonomous, and independent human beings, who have free will and thus rights and privileges, they still desire shelter from themselves,

    but you cannot be both free and sheltered at the same time, meaning (as Karen Straughan says), women will at some point have to admit that they make choices, they decide, they are agents, and they choose, and thus all the ensuing “responsibilities” that come with that

    Nice Guys are correct: women do have the duty to choose correctly, but a woman will always say: my body, my rights, and I don’t “have” to do anything, or am not “obligated” to do anything, but… *not sure what to put in this blank part here*

    So because they’re in the transitional period, from previously being “not here” (as in children, with no free will or autonomy, etc.), they have yet to realize that their actions have a direct effect on the future of the human race, and that they cannot just “do whatever” they want, i.e. have both free will and rationality, but also instinctual living (living on one’s whims or desires, etc.)

    i.e. they have a duty

    And because they are in this transitional period, to becoming fully fledged adults or human beings, having been children before, they are “scared”, and thus perform all sorts of mental gymnastics (feminism), to justify their right to both be children (sheltered, with no responsibility), and adults, i.e. to be treated like one, and “given” autonomy (the right or ability to choose, also known as dignity), but not recognize the duty to make the right choices

    In other words, if you want freedom, responsibility, and privilege, then you take the ensuing duties (want a man’s responsibility? you have to be a man, become a man, etc.)

    With great power comes great responsibility, Spider-man

    With absolute power, comes absolute responsibility, God

    But it will likely be some time before they realize their own negligence, and denial of their agency (the fact that they choose to do things), is having an effect on both themselves and others

    Also, Elliot Rodger, I am with you, I am so sorry you had to go through that, you didn’t die for nothing



  106. Also, though it seemed at points that I could convince myself I was gay, I kept remembering the consistent fact that for all of my life (even prior to 16), I had only been attracted to women, and that my entire raison d’être for doing anything, was actually just to get laid:

    and this included me learning breaking (like breakdancing), hip-hop, rapping, PUA, NLP, social skills, or even trying to become “enlightened” (keyword: special, so as to somehow circumvent the sexual vetting process and be given a benefit of a doubt, i.e. “you’re not like those guys”)

    now because women have choice, they did not have to choose me (and they did not choose me)

    but it’s important to acknowledge, that they “chose” not to choose me, i.e. they chose

    and that there is no way around it, usually women will blame men for the reason why they “don’t like men”, and men will usually blame themselves for why women “don’t like men”, all the while failing to realize that: they have a choice

    the reason men blame themselves is because they “do” things, I’m getting iffy here, although the real interaction may be entirely due to the fact that women are the vetters[0] for what (and thus ‘who’) gets into the gene pool, and that their instinct is infallible, the only problem is that their rationality and intelligence (that all human beings have), constantly butts up against their instinct[1]

    but the end conclusion, seems to be the subversion of the instincts (which invalidate their own existence anyways, when exposed to rationality and intelligence), and the replacement of those with bodily intelligence or rationality, autonomy and free-will, etc.

    0. the bouncers of the gene pool, the admissions panel, the “choosers”, the “deciders”, etc. the arbiters, the judges, etc. this is why older civilizations controlled women via force, to not let them actually exercise their right to choose, caveat, choice comes with the duty to choose correctly though, they seem to have not reached that point yet, though

    1. This is why men have to become alphas, bad boys, aggressive, muscular men to bang women, because women want their instinctive whims or choices, even though rationally speaking, anyone who can hold a steady income and make authoritative decisions for a group of people is a far superior survival asset than just someone who lifts weights and negs girls, the irony of this is not lost on some: the red pill, and the seduction community[2]

    2. You could often say that “men” have to become “what they are not”, to “get what they need”, for “who they are”, in other words they have to fulfill an absurd role, to fulfill their original needs, but somehow not forget who they originally were in the first place, etc.

    Last thought:

    Nice guys are actually correct: women should be choosing them, and so the real victory for nice guys, would be women realize that they “didn’t have a choice all along”, and really had to choose those guys (the first will be last and the last will be first, the meek shall inherit the earth etc)

    Last thought, again:

    Again, there’s a lot of misinformation out there about how nice guys, shouldn’t feel or feel etc. Here’s the truth: the way you feel is true (and justified, accurate, valid etc)[1]

    If you feel: no one chooses me, sees me, sees my value, my worth, I’m such a great guy, no one chooses me etc.

    You. Are. Correct.

    Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise, once you subscribe to the notion that being desperate isn’t normal (the idea that you have to not want a woman to get a woman etc. It’s Catch-22, it’s also absurd logically because if that were the case, the no one would ever have anything that they want), then you subscribe to all the misinformation out there:

    Such as:

    *the women were right, I was worthless, they shouldn’t have chose me


    *I don’t deserve to get laid, I’m too needy, or too creepy, or too socially awkward, I’m too fucked up, etc.


    *they are right, I am just too “thirsty” etc.

    the tl;dr is that you’re basically right about everything, and they “should” have chosen you, or choose you, etc.

    This is unfortunately what happened to me, at some point I convinced (or rather just caved in, to the notion thereof) myself that the women were correct about me,

    That all my skills, personality traits, intelligence, kindness, warmth, any love I had to offer, my whole being or self wasn’t valid, because I wanted the woman, etc.

    And then I convinced myself, that I couldn’t have her, etc. That they (women) are infallible judges, and always choose correctly, and that “those guys” that she chose are better than me, and less needy, etc.

    Here’s the deal: women are pretty fallible, they are humans and they are needy too, so it’s important to realize that:

    they’re opinion of you, and this especially applies if they don’t actually know you like you do, like your friends do, or your family does,

    doesn’t actually matter at all (that would be like caring about the opinion of a complete stranger, which is in fact caring about the opinion of a woman who you don’t know well, and who doesn’t know you well, is)[2]

    –quick summary of this section

    Basically there was a lot of information, but since I was a male, I caved into the notion that women were infallible judges of reproductive value, and thus correct about everything, and had always thought that, because, that’s how evolution works (gotta get “past” the female, into the gene pool)

    And so I believed people when they said: you don’t have any value, or you’re too needy, desperate, or trying too hard etc.

    And I implicitly believed that almost sub current like notion or implication, that I was “wrong”, in “the wrong”, “creepy”, “bad” or needy etc. for wanting sex, or not having a sex life, or for “existing”, or wanting to get laid, or that I was not like “those guys”, who they chose etc.

    i.e. that there was something categorically different about them, in comparison to me

    But don’t believe any of that,

    the journey for someone who isn’t validated by a fallible judge, is to eventually realize that we have to reinforce ourselves (even though you are correct that we shouldn’t have to), and to realize that they are actually wrong, because of what we perceive to be true, i.e. we are allowed to perceive the truth, and know what is true, etc.

    and are not, not allowed to think that they are wrong, because they are “women” (a form of intellectual tyranny, that bars someone from allowing to think certain thoughts)

    Last thought again, again:

    Kind of trying to wind down here, but again, the journey just seems to be the releasing of the instincts, and thus the lack of dependence on a fallible judge (in this case women), for validation

    Our genetic programming has us believe otherwise, but no, it’s not true: women are not infallible

    and yes, their opinion of you, doesn’t count, because once again, they don’t know you

    Anyways I’m tryna’ wind down at this point because my fingers are getting tired, but here’s a quick link to something that has influenced some of my thought:


    in reference to the other things that have: Immanuel Kant, Christianity, the Bible, Islam, Buddhism, magick (Thelema), therapy, the Reich and Lowen tradition of psychotherapy, the red pill, the seduction community, and of course PUA, etc.



    1. This is just another way of saying the way you feel is valid, there are no invalid feelings, remember that denying someone a range of emotional expression or well-being, or in this case: denying someone can have that emotion, is a form of rape or abuse, and denies the integrity of the individual, i.e. that that person has needs, wants, and feelings, and feels the way they do, i.e. the injustice the person perceives is even real in the first place (hint: the injustice is actually real)

    2. Why should I care what someone on the internet says to me? They don’t know me (that’s actually a valid thing to say by the way), why would I give a fuck? I wouldn’t.

  107. Ultimately the paradox seems to be one of having to believe in yourself, for no other reason than to survive, i.e. become self-reinforcing

    This is generally experienced as unpleasant because it is done alone, and no one want to have to believe in themselves, because then that means they become the arbiters of what is real and not real, etc.

    People want to know their place, to be put in it, and validated (shaped), etc.[1]

    But at 16 I had to do that, i.e. believe in myself for no reason, which made reality seem unreal

    So I would be a called a MWHGHOW (or, a man who has gone his own way), as opposed to MGTOW (which is a collective of men, but each one goes for his own independent reasons, so it doesn’t really matter) (AKA, men going their own way)

    But anyways the upshot, is that in the end I was somehow able to explain everything that had happened to me, and had happened to others, and was currently happening at that moment

    There’s really a lot to write, but the last point is that:

    Arbitrating what is real, means at some point becoming your own “God”, which means at some point creating yourself out of necessity, etc.


    Believing in yourself for no reason (other than necessity), is torturous because it makes other people unreal, and makes you less of a social animal, etc etc etc.

    Really too much to write, so I’m going to have to leave it at that, sorry M3 for blowing up your comments thread.



    1. See the Indominus Rex of “Jurassic World”

  108. […] Artikel / Posts Meine Liebe wurde niemals erwiedert Virgin After College DER SPIEGEL von heute: “Männlich, ledig, lebensgefährlich” (Freie Welt) Absolute Beginner – Beziehungsunerfahrene (Love in the free world) Involuntary Celibacy, America Confessions of a Reformed InCel, M3 […]

  109. I don’t consider myself “red pill” or anything like that, but I did learn something in my late 20s. If you’re the guy whose lap her head is in, you aren’t the shoulder she cries on (and I was the latter more times than not).

    It’s different if you *want* to be her friend but, if you don’t, then make that aggressive move to not be that.

  110. Meh; when you understand that everything is shit, simply because it exists. Then you might be free. Desire is nothing but chains; and even then, the entire things is worthless. The universe exists solely to cause pain; nothing more.

    The only Good thing is, Nothing; the only sweet sound, Silence

  111. You are the fucking man. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. This only reinforces the truth. Don’t let anyone change you.

  112. Hey. Thank you. Thank you so much.

  113. You sir are a great man. A month ago my gf cheated on me after dating for 3 years. It’s been so long since I was single I forgot all about what women wanted and how I have to behave in order to be happy as a single guy. I could probably write a reply half as long as this article telling you how much stuff like this has made me change for the better. But just know that I appreciate you taking the time to write this and I’m off to go be happy. Thanks for your article and keeping me from tasting the steel of a handgun.

  114. Thanks for sharing your story.

  115. Ah it’s like reading my own life. Fucking rough man. I’m starting a little late at 34, but better late than never, right?

  116. I feel sorry for you, and everyone on here who supports this diatribe against our fellow human beings of the ‘opposite’ gender. This is actually quite worrying, and sad. Needless to say I think that you are thoroughly misguided. Good luck though, I sincerely hope you figure it out. Everyone does indeed deserve sexual satisfaction, I agree with you. It’s not easy, granted, but I implore you, as a ‘nice guy’, without muscles, beta, and enough sex to be content, this is really not the answer. I think the true problem is actually quite obvious, and confronting that is going to take an awful lot of pain and reflection. Because the truth isn’t pretty, I’m sorry to tell you. If I’m not being clear, I will spell it out for you. You are an asshole, sir. That is why girls don’t want you. And the ones who are telling you that you are nice are lying. You aren’t. I only have to read above to know that; and this isn’t a case off chicken vs egg, which came first; even in your handling of women before you decided on your new strategy you don’t come across as a pleasant person. You can change that. I did.

  117. Umm, ya, OK. Thanks for the tip. Tho, my life already changed for the better by leaps and bounds doing it my way. I stopped buying into the feminist body acceptance nonsense and be yourself bs, and accepted that as I wanted a partner in attracted to, I had to put in the effort to be as attractive in return, both in physical stature, looks, attitude and confidence. Feminism told me I should look beyond the physical, but I realized that women and feminists were not willing to do the same for me. I put in the effort, fixed the flaws I could fix, became the best version of me I could instead of accepting my poor value and expecting others to look past it to see my “inner beauty”. I stopped living the feminist delusion and took control of my life. You can call me an Asshole, be my guest. I would not change a thing in my progression from pre-manosphere to today. You’re not muscly, you’re a beta, and you get enough sex. Here’s a slow clap for you. 👏.. If it works for you, more power. I don’t know enough about you to believe in getting the whole picture or just who you’re bedding or how happy your relationships are. But what I did for myself was necessary to extricate myself from my stagnant situation. You think I was an Asshole before I hit the manosphere? You think my many failed attempts at relationships with women who just adored me and wished they could find someone like me (only not me) was due to my toxic behavior? Or was my eventual turn to masculine overdrive a reaction to women who said they adored me but didn’t find me attractive enough for sex one too many times? Now, you’re free to your sanctimonious prattling.. It’s your opinion. Maybe I’ll have my gf give it a read and see what her reaction is to your beta advice. Most likely she’ll say “eww”. PS. She’s read this chapter of my blog.

  118. […] Whatever. I shake my head and move on to the next topic. Now I’m looking to get more traffic to this here site of mine. So I’m scouring Reddit. Amazingly enough, I noticed I’ve been prohibited from ever posting again on the feminism subred (“Why White Women Hate Black Women” musta hit too close to home), then I stumble across something called TheRedPill. […]

  119. […] together to create a well-written blog post. One of the first to write about INCEL calls himself M2 (now listed as M3). I discovered his first INCEL post nearly four years ago. That single […]

  120. 12 years. Wow. I can’t even fathom that. That’s just incredible. How did you find the motivation to keep going? What drove you?

  121. So, you were married and left you wife’s birthday party to go to a strip club where you cheated on her and you want us to believe that you are a victim of women? Sick, twisted, evil man- you are an abuser. What if you gave your now ex wife an STD? Why do you pretend like you were all alone for 12 years when you were married? This whole story is BS.

  122. You say in your profile you had an ‘unhapppy’ marriage because of hypergamy, but it might have been the cheating with strippers. You are a fraud.

  123. Reading comprehension Bob. Get some.

  124. I married her well AFTER the strip club you clot. How did you miss what everyone else understood?

  125. I got here from the Red Pill subreddit and this whole concept is new to me (as of today!). As a gay guy, I am absolutely flabbergasted. Knowing I was gay at a young age really helped me to see societal BS for what it is – constructed nonsense. Society basically told me being gay was “bad and dirty and wrong” but, from what I’m reading here, I think it would be almost worse to be expected to fit into the mold of “date, get married, have babies”.

    I think that’s one of the big unarticulated problems with this whole issue of men not understanding how “the game” really works – the expectation to fit in to a life plan that is laid out for you from the second you are born and the sense of abject failure that comes when things don’t go according to plan.

    Seriously, there are lessons from the gay community that I try to impart to my straight friends all the time and I find it so strange that straight people, by and large, just don’t “get” and this whole redpill stuff is helping me see why so much of the straight community has (in my opinion), low self esteem and low self-worth.

    1. Focus on you. Not in some crazy narcissistic “it’s all about me” way, but have a genuine interest in yourself and learning what you like. If you get married in your early or mid-twenties, what do you really know about yourself? What time did you take to develop interests as an individual that will help benefit you and your partner when it comes to sharing a life and discovering the world around you? How bored would you be if you didn’t have interests (and if you aren’t willing to get involved and learn about your partner’s interests)?

    2.Talk to your peers. Drop all the bro speak and competitiveness and just be honest with each other. Engage in frank communication. Life isn’t a contest where the person with the most inside info wins. See the people around you as a community and be genuinely interested in their welfare and well being. Are you dating someone who isn’t a good fit for you but is a good fit for your friend? Cut ties and tell them! Seriously. You will all be better off for it and jealousy basically goes out the window when you aren’t selfishly hording someone or something you don’t even really want.

    3. Fitness. You don’t have to be the Hulk, but you should at least be able to run a mile, have the strength to pull your own body weight if you get in a tough spot and have to do something like drag yourself or someone else out of a burning building and other common sense stuff. Want it for you. Want it for your partner (and for your kids if you plan on having them).

    All this sounds pretty much like red pill stuff but I get a little negative vibe from some of the community with the hatred put toward women. Give them the benefit of the doubt. As a gay guy who has no interest in sleeping with women but who spends lots of time talking to them, I can tell you that they are in the system just as much as you and are dealing with some messed up shit that makes them play all these mental games (that most don’t even realize they are playing). See them as victims of the system too – because they really are just as much as you. You may think they are holding all this power because they “control” sex and relationships, but they would argue just the opposite so it’s the system, not women, that is messed up.

    I have tons more to say about this but seriously, get yourself a gay guy friend and talk to him about this stuff because most of us grew up outside the influence of a lot of the societal bs that you grew up accepting (because we knew it didn’t apply to us). Many of us can point out how ignore it, how to escape it and how to have a good life.

  126. From what a I understand, M3 was at a party celebrating the birthday of his then future-wife and now ex-wife, he left, and at some point fucked a stripper. Here’s the obvious part, and the worst part: because of M3’s newfound steez and confidence from having fucked a stripper, his now ex-wife ACTUALLY BECAME ATTRACTED to him, and then married him. They are now divorced.

    How cruel and obvious is this to you? Pretty obvious.

    Apparently you have to get lucky and fuck a stripper after a 12-year dry-spell to gain some physical and emotional confidence so you can attract a woman, so you can… fuck a woman.

    It’s a Catch-22. The rich get richer, and the poor get poorer.

    The only reason M3 beat this was because of the mathematical improbability of regaining his confidence after a tortuously long dry-spell.

    Ironically, had he somehow had frequent sex when he was younger, he would have been able to go without sex for longer, have better emotional regulation, and have more of a sex drive and urge to get it more frequently.

    It’s literally a widening gap.

    People mistakenly think that people obtain sex easily because they are better (a stupid notion of rightness and justice) and because they lift, or change their behavior and clothes and attitudes, and gain weight or whatever. This is completely false. You get sex more easily if you have more sex. It’s the same with money.

    If you’re born into a family with money, you go to college, and get more money. That’s all it is.

    People who have good experiences with women, and are treated well by them, connect with them better and are more sensitive and able to relate to women and obtain sex more easily, which allows them to obtain sex more easily.

    This is why I view Elliot Rodger as nothing more than a victim, or a martyr, he was a literally a causal-mathematical movement, a falling of dominoes. There was zero possibility of him escaping “his” situation whatsoever, it was deterministic.

    Yet our society’s reaction to him, both before and after the “events,” were so sick. It was absolutely disgusting.

    We spit on him, for being on the ground.

    Bob, don’t make me explain this to you again.

  127. JJ FTW. Excellent comment. While I won’t excuse or condone Rogers actions, I do agree he was the victim of a system he could never properly understand or triumph over. He lashed out in a manner befitting someone who given the circumstances of his upbringing, the severe emotional immaturity and stunted development, and the nature of our current mating game system, you’re right.. Mathematically speaking he was doomed from the start.

  128. No sensible person agrees with what Rodgers did. Or, the recent shooting in Oregon, where the shooter also complained about about being ignored by women. Most men in a similar predicament do not lash out violently. Most, such as myself, simply withdraw from society. Sure, I go to work, run my errands, and deal with family issues. But the reality is that at age 42, the only women I can attract are those who have themselves run out of options. Women who lost out on the men the wanted, women who hit The Wall, etc.

    In an earlier comment on his post, from 2013, I mentioned that a cousin of mine recently got married, and that his new wife was becoming very withdrawn from the rest of the family. Well, 2 years later, and they are getting a divorce. My cousin was an accomplished tax attorney, mild-mannered, and certainly not a player. They have a kid who is not even 2 years old yet. Turns out she got into trouble at her office, and she was put on probation – something she did not share with my cousin. Then at the end of probation, they canned her ass. She is staying with her parents in the suburbs, and if my cousin is lucky, he can see his son once a month on weekends.

    I just hope his divorce does not drag out too long. He seems to be glad to be rid of her. Too bad he spent so many years and money on her.

  129. Dear Ted,

    I am pretty sure this situation is across the board for everyone. No one is unaffected by this. Because of contraception, abortion and child support, women are in a unique position in history (being the “coveted” sex, since men are the ones who initiate or aggress) to sleep with whoever they want, with apparently no strings attached or consequences.

    In the past, the first man a woman had sex with, would be her last. This is simply because sex produces a baby, so the obvious reason why fucking is compelling is because it draws you to orgasm – this is simply nature’s way of ensuring that the man does not pull out (fail to impregnate the woman).

    Because humans are “so clever”, they decided (with their thinking brains) to manipulate the biological circuits for pleasure involved in the act of sex. Some retard thought it would be a great idea to cancel out the effect from the cause of sex, meaning that sex =/= babies anymore. Sex means just thinking people using the act for pleasure.

    Because people do not think fully and completely, they were unaware of the extremely damaging and total inversion to the social circumstances these inventions would cause.

    Since women can choose to have sex with whomever they want, and there would presumably be no evidence or consequences, this creates a unique situation where every man is presented with the seductive promise of endless casual sex: a game.

    However there is only one good in this market: pussy.

    And because pussy is controlled by women, they have now invented these terms: my body, my rights, and consent.

    But every man wants every women. So whereas before there was a 1 to 1 pairing between men and women, capped by marriage. (Sex means a baby, cause and effect, simple math, really. However, a baby means a woman/mother needs a man/husband to take care of it. No woman can survive on her own, there were no single mothers in the past. The government has seemingly changed that. Even psychologically, however, women cannot function separately from men, and the same goes for men, separated from women. Why do you think people who invented prison simply isolate men? That IS the worst punishment. Torture is nothing.)

    There is now what I call a rising and sinking. Women rise, like cream or ocean foam, and men sink. This is because the road is one-way, all men want all women. Not all women want all men. And because women control the in-demand good, they rise.

    This is also why men intuitively side with women, and are extremely indignant at any woman being aggressed upon in this society. It’s not so much consent, but women can only take so much damage and independence/responsibility until they BECOME men. Men don’t want to have sex with men, who are not innocent. Men want to have sex with innocent and delicate moral creatures, women. If women become “awake”, like men. There will be no women left.

    This has all occurred because we have cancelled out the necessary follow-through from sex, reproduction or babies. Had we not done this, we could have feasibly avoided all of this, including Elliot Rodger. People are suckered by the poison however.

    Again, this new marketplace is not even pleasant for women either.

    Women are not okay with autonomy, why do you think abortion is being legalized? It simply means if the woman forgets to put on the condom, she can “erase” her decision like it never happened. Or, if she regrets her decision, and “doesn’t remember making it”, she can call “rape”.

    It’s not that they didn’t “make a decision”, “it’s that they don’t remember making the decision.”

    Simply remove abortion, contraception, and child support.

    It’s also important to realize that men and women cannot have discussions as equals, they talk at odds, at different wavelengths or levels. Therefore a man might talk above or over a woman, and a woman below that man. This is why there is so much apparent conflict between feminists and men.

    There really is no conflict, it’s simply that women do not have the same depth of intelligence, or embattled emotional maturity to realize how much damage they do to men, neither can women empathize with the hurt of men.

    Women are ignorant perpetrators of feminism and their own whims (which have not been rubbed enough to create friction), so they are not aware of their gestures. Women can do things without a thought, that can cause severe emotional pain in men. They can do this all the while believing that men feel nothing and are oppressors, while they are victims who are “busting out.”

    Their perspective is correct, but they cannot know it, they do not have the same depth of maturity, or embattled experience as men, in either intelligence or emotion.

    We talk at odds. Or at different heights.

    I might write more later.


  130. Basically, what I’m saying is, feminism (and this whole brief debacle) was caused women and men (two distinct and unequal groups), with the former erroneously believing they were equal to the latter. The latter, wishing to be accommodating, treated the former as equals.

    Men have a greater depth of circuitry, or existence than women. Men have a greater capacity for feeling, emotion, intuition, and rich experience all across the board, and especially for pain and suffering. Why do you think there are more gay men than there are gay women?

    Women do not have this depth of circuity or capacity for rich experience. We might say this is ignorance, but that word does not capture it too well. Women are simply lesser than men. I am not suggesting that women are the same as men, but simply lesser. I am literally saying that women possess a smaller depth, than men. They have like a half-circuitry.

    Anyways, this confusion between the levels, with the latter (men), being empathetic and generous, erroneously believing that their women had genuine complaints (but at the same time being unaware that their complaints do not come from the same level of suffering or “depth” that their own gender had), humored and took the former (women) seriously.

    This caused an at odds problem, with the former being unable to “be” the latter (women cannot be men), and the latter attempting to allow the former to be like that them (women cannot be men).

    It’s important to note that women do not have the depth to know that they do not have the same depth as men.

    It’s a bit like someone who, is used to being beaten and taking crap all his life, but not complaining about it, noticing someone else complaining very loudly. That person would mistakenly believe that the complainant is coming from his same place, however, this is mistaken.


  131. Why do you think there are more gay men than there are gay women?

    This is true, but what does this have to do with the rest of your comment?

  132. Oh, and M3…

    Congrats on your knockdowns of the trolls and morons on this thread as of late. Sorry you’re still putting up with illiterate fools, but nice to see you’re still around and doing fine (or it at least sounds lIke it).

    How’s the girlfriend, mom, and dog?
    Hope all really is well with you, man, and if I don’t comment before the end of December then may you and yours have a great “festivus”. 😉

  133. Hey Tarn, long time no chat. We need to start an email chat.

    Long story short, gf is great, mom is great (senile dad is doing fine too) and dog and far as I know is doing well in jolly old England. How are you, hope all is merry and bright? See that’s why we need to catch up via email.

    Lol. Happy festivuz to you as well. Actually I’ll wish you a Merry Christmas for traditions sake. I love the Christmas spirit, and all it’s pagan beginnings 😛

  134. Sure thing. My email is still open to all on my blog, tarnishedsophia@hotmail.com. Just be aware I still work in hell retail, and I can’t always respond quick during the holiday season. But I will respond!

    I haven’t seen you around the ‘sphere as much, it would be cool to catch up. Happy to hear that all your kin are healthy. (Sorry for not asking about your dad, I couldn’t remember if he was ok or not last time you posted.)

    Everything is going good with me. FwB and I are still “together” after 9 years this past autumn. Mom and siblings are ok. Boss has paid back half of what he owes me from the personal loan I helped him out with…only $5k more to go, lol. My own finances/debt ratio are pretty spot on as you might recall, so once I’m paid back in full I’m going to hunker down and work on opening my own comic/game store. It’s comin’ together, y’know?

    Ha! Well then, Merry Christmas and Happy Yule, from the Deist Pagan to the atheist. 🎄🎉🎁

  135. JJ,

    I don’t begrudge women birth control. Nor do I believe that women should have sex with men they find unattractive. What I, and many men do want, is for women to abandon the nonsense. Stop listing the qualities you say you want in a man, while neglecting to mention the prerequisites before a man will be considering as a possible sex partner.

    Women should understand that for non-alpha males, the idea that any potential girlfriend will probably have more sexual experience, by several degrees, is not something he can just push to the back of his mind, no matter how much he wants to. All he will think, “She’s only with me now because she couldn’t be with someone else.”


  136. I don’t begrudge women birth control.

    Nor men, one would hope.
    After all, there are many men (like mine) who also wish to not become fathers before they are ready…or ever. Hopefully things like the male Pill will be marketable soon, so men don’t have to rely on vasectomies for superior protection.

    Great Post and I learned a TON!!

  138. M3
    “And by loving women the way feminism asked, i was nearly destroyed for it.”

    Me to

  139. @YOHAMI Dismantling Sarah’s BS with one simple question – lol! Skillfully executed.

  140. Thought I would give an update. A couple of years ago, I wrote about my cousin in NY, a successful tax lawyer, got married. I mentioned how the woman seemed fine, if unremarkable, before the wedding. But, after the wedding she suddenly became more distant from his side of the family, and would avoid spending time with us. Last I wrote, they were expecting their first child.

    Well, the other show dropped. I met my cousin over Thanksgiving weekend 2015 (that’s in November for us Yanks down here M3 🙂 ) I asked how his family was doing and he answered, “You didn’t hear? We’re separated, and getting divorced.”

    There marriage did not even last 3 years. I asked what happened, and he said things were getting bad for awhile. She got in trouble at her job, and was put on probation. She was listening in on conference calls she was not authorized to attend. She did not tell my cousin this. At the end of probation, they fired her.

    So, she took their son and lives with her parents in the suburbs. My cousin sees his kid twice a month on weekends, if he is lucky.

    Unlike me, my cousin’s collegiate and professional education paid off for him. He does well. But, with the divorce, moving into a new place, and child support – he doubts he will be buying home anytime in the next couple of years.

    Personality-wise, he is very low-key. And if personal experience and blogs like this have shown, being low-key is a sure fire way to put a woman to sleep. No tingles. All he had to offer was high income, a deluxe apt in the sky, and a lifestyle that would be the envy of most. This is a guy who paid for the 2 of them to fly to Spain, where he proposed to her.

    In other family news – this was the second Christmas in a row where my sister in-law chose not to spend Christmas with us. I’m sure not being there Christmas morning 2 years in a row will make an appearance in her children’s therapy sessions. My brother hardly spoke about her or to her while he was with us.

    Yes, being incel sucks. There are days when I don’t think about it. But, one of the few consolations of my own predicament is that I don’t have to deal with lawyers, or worry that I am setting an awful example for my children.

  141. I’ve went from 19 to 38 as incel, can you help me?

  142. […] in other people, they will get liked a lot more and I think they will have more success. The “confessions of a reformed incel” article on the sidebar shows this in part; the original poster does not alter his SMV, but […]

  143. I remember I tried to read this a few months ago and I just now finished it. Although I don’t agree with you 100% (I never agree with anyone 100% so that’s no big deal), I think the big thing here is feminist ideals really are doing a lot more harm than good. The mental problems of men are overlooked in particular, or downplayed.

  144. It was really sad to read your story, and good to see that you have managed to turn your life around. I am going to the gym with male friend buddy, who is obese and trying to turn his life around at 38, after many years of loneliness, and I am cheering for him along the way. I just wanted to rwmind you to not forget that there are hordes of women out there who are experiencing the same fate. Who got dumped by their husband at the dawn of 40 , for some young bimbo, and never recovered. And after a dry spell of 5 or 10 years they find themselves menopausing, feeling worthless, cynical an bitter, just like you have felt in those years. Women actually need external validation as much as men do, no actually, more, as they always feel inadequate and not attractive enough. These forgotten women and their self esteem too suffers from feeling undesired. And although it is true that they perhaps “could” go find a dirty fuck in a pub with someone, they are at such a low point in their feeling worthless that not even having a penis entering their vagina and feeling the warmth of human skin is going to help (were as it would have helped you at the time!). So, yes, women can generally acquire sex much more easily, but they also feel used a lot more often and easily then men do…. You have been hurt by your experiences, as many other human beings around you (men and women). Now one is entitled to sex, what would you have people do? Would women have to be forced to sleep with men who are flccid and unkept, unconfident and unattractive, would you force men to choose a 50 years old woman over one who is in childbearing age? Well… If you did, then you would not be any better than those delusional obese women in the various Fat Acceptance Movements, who are angry becuse men will not find their *curves* sexy… People are attracted to what they like, you can’t change that! The only point that I agree on, is that young men should be told more truthfully that are the traits that attract women: good looks and a well-groomed appearance, intelligent conversation and confidence, and lastly talent and motivation in life goals (work/the arts etc)… At the same time, I would tell you that I wish the same for youg girls, that they learn the truth: if you are fat and unkept, men are not going to consider you, if you wait too long, they will choose someone younger, if you are keen on motherhood, plan ahead and don’t wait until it is too late…. It is quite simple. There is no need to turn into misogenist assholes and treat women like dirt, as much as there is no need to turn into acid-bitter-man-hating bitch just because no one wants to bang you!!

  145. Honestly, I would fuck a bunch of make virgins and INcels. The reason why I don’t is because of men. When you have sex with them, they’ll open their big fucking mouthes to their friends and proceede to describe in graphic detail every sex act they had. It didn’t happen to me, but it happens to other women. And guess what?

    She becones a slut, whore, bitch etc. She becomes someone to degrade, to use and to both laugh at and hate. Men talk about how passed around she is and how disgusting she is, while men who fuck anything with two legs get praise.

    My point is, some women are VERY sexual, but because of society, they aren’t allowed to act on it, save for the “bad boy” every one likes. I don’t like bad boys. I like nerds with intrestING things to talk about, not drugs or partying. Smart, sensetive, sweet.

    Bad boys digust me with their psychopathic tendencis and self gratifying sneers.

    Maybe you guys need to stop talking to bitches so much, because only bitches like men who treat them like meat.

  146. […] rape story, and when I wrote about the manosphere, the most common source of bitterness was watching women leap into bed with men who were the opposite of every feminist tenet they preached.  Aaronson noted the same […]

  147. I’m at the point where I actually begin to wonder if I’m going to end up with a 12 years dry spell too.

  148. Thank you iv been thinking a police sucide would be sufficed t I knew this was the truth but I didn’t wAnna belive it dude I gmbad a dTe that went so good and I threw all protocol
    Out the window but ima “sniper” wel I’ll try not to be any more so I got sit with the you know we’re just friends right I di t think there any coming back from it but like u said fuck it imma try and boss up like u dog and not feed these whores attention

  149. JJ,

    Your posts have spoken monuments (if that is an actual phrase) to me. Let it be known, that almost everything you have said is almost certainly true; the fruit of knowledge. A lot of what you have said are notions I have thought of before reading this, but set out in a much more formalised and coherent manner. Of what you have said, these statements scream out the loudest to me:

    ‘In other words: you’re laying everything on the line, hoping someone will choose or validate you, and this is dangerous because:

    although a person might lay some of their work on the line, it’s never the same as a man laying his balls on the line, literally what he has to offer the human race in terms of genetic modifications or advancements, it’s his very ‘self’ (or sense of self worth), which is why sex is so validating’

    ‘If you feel: no one chooses me, sees me, sees my value, my worth, I’m such a great guy, no one chooses me etc.

    You. Are. Correct.

    Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise, once you subscribe to the notion that being desperate isn’t normal (the idea that you have to not want a woman to get a woman etc. It’s Catch-22, it’s also absurd logically because if that were the case, the no one would ever have anything that they want), then you subscribe to all the misinformation out there:

    Such as:

    *the women were right, I was worthless, they shouldn’t have chose me


    *I don’t deserve to get laid, I’m too needy, or too creepy, or too socially awkward, I’m too fucked up, etc.


    *they are right, I am just too “thirsty” etc.

    the tl;dr is that you’re basically right about everything, and they “should” have chosen you, or choose you, etc.’

    ‘Ultimately the paradox seems to be one of having to believe in yourself, for no other reason than to survive, i.e. become self-reinforcing

    This is generally experienced as unpleasant because it is done alone, and no one want to have to believe in themselves, because then that means they become the arbiters of what is real and not real, etc.’

    ‘People mistakenly think that people obtain sex easily because they are better (a stupid notion of rightness and justice) and because they lift, or change their behavior and clothes and attitudes, and gain weight or whatever. This is completely false. You get sex more easily if you have more sex. It’s the same with money.

    If you’re born into a family with money, you go to college, and get more money. That’s all it is.

    People who have good experiences with women, and are treated well by them, connect with them better and are more sensitive and able to relate to women and obtain sex more easily, which allows them to obtain sex more easily.’

    When my ‘me’ became apart of who ‘I’ am, I did indeed start to see everything clearly, at a cost of my mental well-being. I did not chose that path though, it came to me out of necessity due to my circumstances, as it did to you and many others. I wish I was ignorant though. I was I didn’t and still see reality for what it truly is. I want to go back to the cave of shadows, but now that I’ve swallowed the red pill, I can’t go back, even though the choice was not mine.

    Fortunately for me, I still have my youth and health, and am making steps to ‘improve myself’. There is a big feeling of emptiness though. As if I know deep down, if I do succeed and make it, I will still have this bitterness inside me that won’t go away. I am resentful of the fact that that has become apart of me, because of my past. All I can really do, is hope I can stop ‘it’, before it gets worse. Manage it, but not cure it. Sedate it, keep it under control and lock it up inside me so that it never escapes.

    Some of us are wise enough to see reality for what it is, but it doesn’t make us any happier…

  150. What does NSA mean?

  151. THIRD PARAGRAPH: “I lost my virginity at late 17”

    Fuck off with your bullshit sob story, I’m 31 and I have never even been hugged.

  152. What does NSA mean?

    no strings attached

  153. You have more than my sympathies… i truly feel for your position. I hope you’d have rather read my story and taken some form of lesson from it on how to change your life rather than see it as a woe-is-me ‘bullshit sob story’. It wasn’t written for that purpose, it was to wake people up. I’m not playing the victim Olympics here, i don’t want ‘the gold’ for my story because there are people out there in predicaments a thousand times worse off.

    But if you are attempting to elicit from me an agreement that yea, my situation was nowhere near yours, hence i shouldn’t have even written about it.. deal with it cupcake. If you aren’t willing to read between the lines and do what it takes to become the best version of yourself, to take that hard 180 and go in the opposite direction of the path you’re currently on, the ‘i have never been hugged’ path.. then the fault lies with you. And that is where my sympathies for you end. Don’t get pissy about *my story* being used as a tool to help course correct others.

  154. Most of this is very sad to read. If you’re not getting laid, it’s not the women’s fault, it’s YOUR fault because you are a fucking loser. If you have no social skills then get a prostitute. Otherwise be yourself. That doesn’t mean be a fucking loser, that means owning up to who you are and not being a pussy whining about how women don’t want to fuck you. Approach a woman on the street, and tell her that you think she’s cute and you want to meet her. Say it with confidence, get her number, get to know her then go out. Gonon a few dates then fuck her when she’s your GF, or go to a club pick up a girl and fuck her that same night. It’s not rocket science just takes balls.

  155. Thanks for hooking the party Neil.. A couple years too late, but thanks for playing nonetheless.

  156. Is this a new trend? Not reading posts until the end?

  157. @ Ted

    Lol. Very keen observation and too true. They rage quit half way through before they see the M. Night. Shamalon “twist”.

    I guess I should have used a different word in the title. “reformed” doesn’t seem to inform some readers well enough 😀

  158. I hate it when male incels say women have no idea what it feels like. I was a virgin until I was almost 40. People say I’m attractive. But despite having jobs that make me deal with the public, going to school, and generally getting involved with projects/activities, I’ve only had one boyfriend in my entire life. People don’t understand it when I tell them my experience.

    They say all the usual things–you’re attractive, you’re intelligent, you’re kind, blah, blah, blah. Plenty of women are fatter than I am. I’ve got guys on dating sites saying how pretty I am. I’ve only met one guy in person from the site, and went out with him once. So don’t assume that just because I have a vagina that it means I can walk into a bar and get laid. I could stay there for two hours and not have anyone talk to me, unless it’s the server. And chances are, I’d have to flag them down anyway.

    So please stop with the “women don’t understand what it’s like” crap. I understand what it’s like. I didn’t get a boyfriend until I was 39. I was literally a month away from being a 40-year-old virgin. If that isn’t incel, then I am not sure what is.

  159. I would like to talk with you. I’m 42 and somewhat the same story.

  160. Gloria,

    I would not say it is impossible for a woman to be incel, although I would admit that I think women find themselves in that position through a route that is very different from men.

    Men are expected to be the pursuer, and the woman is the one who decides if a man is worth her time. Not all men express their interest in the same fashion. Some are quite shy.

    Of course, if a man continues to pursue, and continues to face rejection time after time, it will not be long until he simply stops. That is the point at which I find myself. 43 years old – never had sex. Kissed only one woman, who made it clear she did not see me in that light.

    My teens, my 20s, my 30s, and now into my 40s – never having been seen as a sexual being. Yet, as a man, the onus is still on me to pursue. As if I am supposed to simply disregard all my experiences.

    In my case, I’ve resigned myself to solitude. I have a job, and I still have family responsibilities. My father has gone through his whole life without affection from my mom. My brother is married to a materialistic spoiled woman, who is raising their daughter to follow in her footsteps.

    When I find myself reviewing the heartache, the women who strung me along, it can be easy to become angry. But I am not angry anymore, but I am certainly less trusting. I find this clip from Bojack Horseman to be quite fitting – except the very end (although plenty of incels have probably contemplated it).


  161. […] Az alábbiakban M3 írásának fordítását adom közre,  amit eredetiben ezen a címen olvashatnak az érdeklődők. […]

  162. TL;DR
    “I went from being a gynocentric virgin to being a gynocentric who has sex! I win!”
    No mate you’re still losing.

  163. Reading this was quite an eyeopener.

    Some of it was like I’d had written it myself.
    Let me be clear, I am still struggling to get out from doormat/beta status.
    But the story leading up to it sounds so similar.
    I was always the nice guy.
    Always LJBF.
    “aww you’re so sweet but I found someone JUST LIKE YOU who lives closer by”
    And so on.
    And I tried my hardest to be good. To be likable. To honour their wishes. To fulfill their wishes even before they could say what they wish.
    Because that was the right way.
    “Aww, you’re so nice, you’ll make some woman wery lucky!”
    And so on.
    However, my world shattered when I was 16. It was love at first sight. I did not know what to do. I tried to be nice. I was fucked over, She intentionally hurt me as much as she could. Because I was such a nice guy. While she was fucking around most everybody and I was still left fuckless. She told me of her every ‘adventure’. I was still denied. It was pure hell. It was darkest 2 years of my life.
    For a year every day I contemplated the best way to end myself – but could not do it.
    Mind you I have always feared death. It’s the most horrifying thing for me. But in this time I was seeking it. I was waiting for it.
    I could not do it – not because of fear of death but the shame and grief it would have caused to my family.
    I was alone. I lost most of my friends because I was basically crying for 2 years most every day.
    I am still deeply damaged by it. And will never fully recover. I have dumped my feelings as deep as I could. If not – I could not go on. Sometimes I fear, what happens if these feelings become unburriesd – not sure I could manage it.
    I never got over it but I decided to move on.
    Broken, as I was and still thinking that I must be nice I must honour their wishes I tried to find someone to be with.
    I was so fucking lonely.
    Mind you, every single one of them told me. LJBF.
    One called me at the middle of the night “help, my boyfriend is beating me, get me out of here” – okay.
    This led to nowhere. She knew how I felt. still, LJBF. Later she moved back to that dude who beat her up. What the actual fuck?
    I was so fucking lonely.
    This lasted in various forms until I was 27.
    I was 27 when I lost my virginity. Hooray!
    I am 37 now.
    I am still lonely.
    During that time I have been with total of 4 women.
    Currently married with 2 children and well, mostly haveing fun with my hand – not with my wife.
    Sometimes I feel that my wife gives more warmth to our dogs than she gives to me.

    But I am struggling to move on.

    This post has given me much to think about.

    Sorry for the long comment – it just stirred something in me. and I needed to vent a bit. Maybe to show that there are others who endure similar shit.

    Going for the Red Pill now. It will not be simple, it is, in some levels, pretty much against my core programming. But it needs to be done.

    Thanks for this post, really.

  164. I’ve just read the initial post, and must confess to being a bit of a mess with the remains of my blue pill tears.I did a very feminine thing and actually cried. I felt every word, the desperation, hatred, longing and loneliness so well expressed here. I was feeling pretty suicidal today when I decided to look you up.

    I’m 57 next week, and my “dry spell” has lasted since 1985. That’s 31 years.
    I’ve just read “The Rational Male” and discoverd the red pill in the last few months, while trying to figure where I went wrong with my latest LJBF rejection after 2 years in orbit.
    I have spent the last 10 years surrounded by beautiful women in my job. I fought long and hard to build this creaky old body into something decent, that I’m not ashamed to show on the beach, expanded my knowledge, skills, conversation. I worked hard, built a nice nest for the woman and kids that I expected to be just around the corner. I was always the White Knight, with a repertoire of skills to rescue any damsel in distress.

    31 years of pointing in the wrong direction. Such a waste.

    I have even had women knock on my hotel door, and would not fuck them because I’m a good guy, and I wanted them to understand that I wasn’t “that type of guy”
    The only reason I’m not a virgin is the 17 year old girl I met at 22, who told me she wanted me to take her virginity. Briefly my hormones got the better of my upbringing. That lasted a year or so, until I started being “nice” and offering commitment.

    My blue pill training started with my very early childhood, my mother, and especially my grandmother, telling me I must be a good boy, and in my entire life not one of the women I have known, friend, relative, and even through 12 weeks of professional counselling, once suggested that I needed to take the lead, be dominant, or express any kind of masculinity whatsoever. I ve swallowed so many blue pills, had them stuffed up my nose, in my ears and up my arse, and I’ve been so plugged in I look like the back of a 1980’s mainframe computer.

    I feel like I have so little time left. I’m just starting to realise that the love and affection I sought all this time will never exist, but maybe, just maybe I will get some sex before everything stops working.

    I’m only just starting to unplug, and I’m still fighting my latest attack of oneitis. But, at least that oneitis sent me down the path to the red pill, even though she never intended to!

    So, here we are. What do you think my chances are guys? What I really want, strange as it may seem, is a couple of my own kids. Or am I still thinking blue?

  165. What a really sad, horrible, but ultimately revealing story, thank you for your bravery for telling it as it is…

    I can relate on so many levels regarding this, but that is for another day.

    Just one question, what did happen to the girl that crushed you and the guy, as in, are they now married, or did they go their seperate ways and marry somebody and have kids, etc?

    Thanks for posting this article, and I’m sorry to hear that you had to go thru this.

  166. Dusty,

    IMO, it would unwise to have children at your age. I can sympathize. I am a 43 year old male & still a virgin. Friends and family tell me frequently how good I am with kids – whether it is with babies or even teenagers. When I spend time with one particular nephew, I always feel a twinge of regret that the affection he displays towards me, while very welcome, will never come from a son of my own.

    But, having kids is exhausting. Everything from running around in the backyard with them, to taking them to a drug store clinic when they have an ear infection, to sitting down with them to do their homework. It is a full time job – which is why ideally you should have two adults in the house doing it.

    Perhaps you can lend some time to activities where you get to help kids – whether at a school or library or hospital. But be forewarned, unmarried men with no kids are often viewed with suspicion. The news bombards people with stories of monsters around every corner.

    As for companionship and sex, I don’t know what to say. Most days, I don’t think about it. Then when I do, I think, “Shouldn’t I be doing something about this?” I will never know what it is like to be in my 20s, laying next to a woman, with my hand resting on her back in the middle of the night. The last woman I almost slept with was nine years ago, before she moved. While I don’t think about her all the time, I can still recall vividly the time she greeted me in the office by leaping onto me, wrapping her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. Or the time I was seated at my desk, she came up behind me, and rested her head on my shoulder, with her long black hair hitting me on the other side of my face.

    Before I delve too far down the “what might have been” rabbit hole, I remind myself of other things. The violent fights between my parents, in full view of their children. At my age, my dad had a house and 3 kids. He also had job instability, and a violent temper. Even many “good” marriages I see require the husbands to go above and beyond what is expected – income not just to support the family, but any extended family that chooses to visit or needs help. Most of the wives do not work, despite most of them holding advanced degrees. I don’t know if I could handle that stress, and you should ask yourself whether you can.

    It’s not like I am happy with my situation. Tonight is another Saturday night that I will go to bed alone. It is never easy to jettison the lessons you grew up with, even when you have first-hand evidence of they were a book of lies. Good luck to you.


  167. Hi Ted, you make some very sound points about kids, and to be honest, I’m really not the sort of guy who is good with kids anyway, but I had kind of hoped that I would learn that stuff when I needed to. That said, I have a level of patience and tolerance now that I would not have had in my 20’s. I guess, and this might sound a bit weird, I feel that I have let down hundreds of generations of ancestors who went through untold trials to breed successfully, and I will be the end of the line.

    A friend of my age has just had a child, and he is really enjoying the situation, I’ve never seen him so happy, although he does look totally worn out all the time! The idea of being over 70 when my kids leave school is a sobering thought, but I still feel this need.

    If I might make a suggestion to you, It sounds like you think you are too old to get into a relationship, and I would say that from where I’m standing, 43 is very young. Guys are said to peak at 35, so you’re not far behind the wave. What I would give to have read some of these things at your age! I first really started meeting lots of women when I changed jobs at 47. Had I been red pill aware then, things might have been very different. Actually, no, they WOULD have been different. I would be spinning plates now, with a clear conscience. Looking at my colleagues now, the early 30’s women are busting to find strong men in their mid 40’s.

    Obviously I don’t know your story, but if you are in reasonable health you have just enough time to really make some changes, lift weights, focus on your self confidence, and start making things go your way. Get outside and learn new skills, join groups and clubs, anything you might enjoy and maybe bump into people. From where you are that may sound impossible, but the longest journey starts with a small step. There aren’t any guarantees, but I can’t bear to give up, and hopefully you won’t either. At least even if you never get laid, you will have got out and enjoyed your life. I still hate Saturday nights though, too.

    And NEVER tell her you’re a virgin or how many women you’ve had! (Not my rule, Rollo Tomassi’s but it makes perfect sense. I once told a woman that I hadn’t had sex for over 20 years and I watched the passion drain away in seconds. If I’d have kept quiet I might not be writing this now!)
    Best of luck to you too, Ted.

  168. M3, I am forever grateful that you have wrote this. I actually came across this years ago but am finally making a comment. Almost all the words you have put down here are a near mirror image of my life and my situation. The key difference is, I have not succeeded, and I truly believe I never will. I’ve tried, of course I’ve tried, and I will certainly be scrutinized by the normies who think I haven’t tried enough, even though they know nothing about me.

    I have been working on coming to terms with this aspect of my life for a long time now. So far, my solutions have been to bury myself in my hobbies, hide away from society, avoid dwelling on what I don’t have, and try to find happiness in what little I do have. It is mildly comforting that there exist people like me who are suffering just as I am. I don’t know what keeps me ticking anymore, I don’t feel human anymore, I just…am. Burying myself into my hobbies is the best I can do to lighten up, in a world full of as horrible and foolish of people as this one.

    Although I wish I could die, I couldn’t come up with a painless way to do it, nor would I be able to find a way to avoid making it painful for my parents, who for some reason still care about me. I would rather wish I was never born…or at least, born a male. If I was female, I would have taken advantage of the countless privileges bestowed upon me by society. Only you, M3, and other incels would be able to understand where I’m coming from with that.

  169. Dusty,

    My health is good for a man my age – I stand 5’ 10” and am a fit 150 pounds. I am probably in better shape than I was in my 20s, when I was just a beanpole. But, I do wear thick bifocal glasses – I have since I was a kid, making me look like Milhouse from The Simpsons. I also live with an aunt & uncle – long story. I work with my uncle, who travels extensively for work and my aunt is not that good with taking care of herself. She’s not handicapped, but she has one of those personalities where if there are no people around, she gets nervous and neglects her health. She did have a stroke last year, from which she had a good recovery, but it is still good to have someone nearby. I guess I’m that someone. I also had some money problems. If I stay on schedule, I should be debt-free in three years.

    Given all this, I have trouble picturing a woman being interested. Women my age often have their own problems, yet seem unsympathetic to men who’ve been knocked around by life. Women younger than me are pretty much out of question.

    Instead, I reconcile myself to those nights when I have the place to myself, where I can unwind with a drink and watch TV without interruptions. It’s not much, but given what I’ve been through, I’ll have to settle for it.


  170. Ted,
    I guess you might be calling me some rude names after this, but I mean the best to you. I don’t have all the answers by any means, but I feel I know where you are coming from. By saying you have to settle for something, you’re saying you don’t want to change. You really can change if you want to. However, if you keep doing the same thing, don’t be surprised if you keep getting the same result.

    First, I’d suggest a few things. Turn off the TV. Read some of this stuff. (I’m no life coach, and I don’t get any commission!) “The Rational Male”, by Rollo Tomassi, “How to be a 3%male” by Corey Wayne and “The Manual, what women want and how to give it to them”, by W Anton.
    There are some other great books to help motivate you, but I have a few other ideas for you. Just ideas, mind you.

    (As a side note, one of the girls I work with, actually the most stunningly gorgeous one we have, wears glasses with plain lenses, so that she looks more intelligent. She loves guys with thick glasses, honest! )

    How does your aunt feel about you sacrificing your life to care for her? I bet that if she cares about you, she would want you to grow and be happy. If she doesn’t care about you, why do you bother? That might sound harsh, but the older generation is supposed to help the younger ones fly away.

    If you want someone for sympathy, it’s really not fair to expect that from anyone. Nobody with any self respect would go into a relationship just to give sympathy. Would you? However, you have survived so far! That means you should wear your history like a badge of pride, not a burden for others to carry for you. The tougher it was, the stronger you have proven yourself to be. You have dealt with past problems, you will deal with future ones, so give yourself some credit.

    Confidence is sexy, so I now understand, and just this week I have started putting this to practice, and it’s really working! ( I haven’t got laid yet, but I’m getting a lot more female attention since I started putting a confident attitude out there.)
    You can’t become super confident overnight, well, I couldn’t. You have to make small changes and successes first, then build up. Once you get the feel for it, you can really start to “fake it till you make it”

    To be attractive to women, you need to be masculine. That doesn’t mean you have to be violent, or even aggressive. Just being a man. We are taught to get in touch with our feminine side these days, and if you read Rollo, you’ll see why that is, and why it’s such a crap idea. More important to remember ” boys don’t cry” ( at least not when any girls are watching!)

    There will be shit times too. Just keep going. Keep imroving in little steps.
    Or just go crazy and change everything in one go! Actually, sometimes that’s easier!

    For me, I have a bucket list. You’re never too young for a bucket list! It has some really impossible things on it, like walking on the moon, sex in a waterfall, stuff like that, and some simple things too, like to read all the James bond books. It helps me focus and gives me something to aim for. That way, I’m not focussed on just finding a woman, I have a bit of ambition and some things a woman might like to join in with.

    I can understand that part of you might not want to change. Life may be hard, but you know where you are. Also, you might think, “this is the real me, why should I change?” The only reason why is because you are not happy now. Change is risk, change is dangerous, but that’s the point. It can be a really good thing all on its own too, whether it helps you find a partner or not.

  171. Dusty,

    Thank you for the comments. I will not call you any names. But, I will give you some more information about me that will give you some idea of why I decided on this particular route.

    For starters, you mentioned that the older generation trains the younger generation to fly away. That is true, but incomplete. If you look at every generation, there is always someone who sacrifices their own future, or a part of it, for the family unit (nuclear and extended family). Traditionally, women were the ones who sacrificed their own goals for family. Perhaps it was professional goals, a desire to travel, education, etc. But, men have sacrificed too. Men did not work in coal mines, lay railroad tracks, or haul away garbage because that is what they dreamed about as kids. They needed money, it was a job that was available and they took it.

    In my own family, in my dad’s generation – these were the sacrifices. My father would often stay stuck in jobs he did not like, because not only did he have a family support in the US, but he had to send money back to relatives in India as well. He also had job instability, but could not move out of NY because my mother refused to move the family.

    One of my dad’s brothers, back in India, was married and had a daughter. But, he was also tasked with having his parents live with him, plus his youngest brother, who had mental disabilities. To date, I still don’t know what he did for a living, because no one gives the same answer. His main responsibility was managing a house – no career or personal goals for him. He found refuge in religion – the good kind that gives you peace of mind and strength to go on, not the obnoxious kind where you lecture everyone else.

    That extended info was to show how they could not “fly away”. They had responsibilities, and had to jettison their own dreams to look after others, in their own fashion. I am doing that as well.

    As for your female co-worker who says she likes guys with thick glasses. Sorry, I don’t take women’s statements at face value. I watch their actions. I’ve sometimes been the object of a crush – but it goes away. Most women do not want to stare into those thick glasses over the course of a dinner.

    I have changed – I’ve gotten better at managing money, I do not engage in needless arguments with family. And I continue with these changes because the rewards I receive are reinforcing of that behavior.

    I’ve largely abandoned the pursuit of women because there was no reward, only work and expectations. Yes, a man will not spend every moment with a women having sex. But do not expect a man to continue hanging around with absolutely no chance of sex either.

    Furthermore, it may be unfair, but sex is not like other human experiences. How you experience sex as a young man will differ from how you experience it in middle age, which in turn will also differ from how you experience sex in your golden years. If your youth goes by, and you do not get to experience that, you will likely carry that feeling of “having missed out”. I look at my own parents, two people who do not like each other, and yet have been married to each other for almost 50 years out of some screwed up notion of duty. Neither one experienced what it was like to be sought after by someone else. I can tell that both carry that feeling of rejection and resentment. Most nights they sleep in separate bedrooms now.

    By contrast, one of my female cousins, who is one year younger than me – had a youth that was filled if not with debauchery, certainly filled with more experiences than I had. She lost her virginity at college not to a serious boyfriend, but some guy after a party. She was not just happy about it, she was thrilled. Like me, she had a very protective family as a teenager, and was not even sure if men found her attractive. She did not know it was going to feel that good, and once she felt how good it can be, she wanted to keep feeling good. That youthful, timely experience, that approval from the opposite sex gave her confidence to do well in her studies and find a really good guy to marry. I would also venture so far as to say she had more pre-marital sexual partners than the man she eventually married. Her husband is a handsome man, professionally accomplished – a good guy to be around. In her case, good experiences/rewards as a young woman reinforced good behavior – a virtuous cycle. They are now middle-aged, settled down with kids, living the dream.

    It was not only in sex that the rewards did not come for me. I graduated with both a BA and an MBA from 2 well regarded schools. Graduated with honors as an undergrad and in B-school won both a marketing competition and was selected to do a presentation to the World Bank in DC. You know how many job offers I had after both graduations? Zero.

    So, in matters of sex, education, and career – I was lectured on how to carry myself, with a promise of rewards. Those rewards never came. So, I dropped out. I still look after my health, look after my family, but I tune out people who tell me to keep trying for someone out there to complete me, or to find a “rewarding career” – whatever the hell that means.


  172. […] This guy went through a dozen years of hell […]

  173. Well I have beaten 12 years! 16 years without so much as kissing a woman. What really bothers me is that it was between the ages of 27 and 45. Prime manhood wasted. All the fun and intimacy I could of had and didn’t. A bit of a wasted life.

    I had a difficult childhood and the result has been that although I crave sex and intimacy and relationships with women, a whole lot of negative emotions such as rage and despair intrude. It got to the point it was all too painful and I gave up.

    I remember in 2000 walking home from my girlfriend’s house the morning after having slept with her and just suddenly thinking I cannot be bothered with this. I never saw her again. And that was how my 16 years started. I had no intention of it lasting as long as it has.

    Recently I started to wonder what the hell I had done. I paid for sex a few times which only made things worse as I realised what I had forgone for those 16 years – the pleasure of the feel, smell, taste of women, talking with them and holding their hot bodies in that post coital glow. And that is without even mentioning intimacy etc.

    Now I am 45 and going grey. There is nothing I can do about it. I can never get those years back.

    My advice to anyone in a position like this is to make sure you have paid sex regularly so that you don’t lose familiarity with what sex is like. It will mean you should be able to maintain your self confidence better and retain some love making skills.

    Being attractive to women is 90% confidence. Don’t dwell on the sex or lack of it. Build your confidence by getting good at other stuff and leading as interesting a life as possible. These things will make you naturally attractive without trying too hard and seeming needy. Look after your body and appearance. Don’t drink much. Say yes to new opportunities, Socialise at every opportunity and meet as many people as possible. Be physically brave. Once all this is sorted out it you will feel more confident and you will begin to find women will respond positively to you.

  174. @Goldghost

    I think one of the most interesting things about this phenomenon is how widespread it is. I look at most people’s faces in public and I would never suspect that they would suffer anything like this. It’s very counterintuitive. It’s mostly kept under wraps, though, due to its total and utterly permeating nature. Ever since the Pill was invented, the basis of sex became “consent.” Since everyone consented to this procedure, they also (willingly or not) consented to the possibility of being permanently “shelved” in the Free-will Market.

    Translation: because “consent” is now the basis of “legal” sexual intercourse (and not contractual marriage), and since everyone agrees to this (because all guys want the same thing, i.e. sex with multiple beautiful women with NSA), then all men ultimately “consent” to the possibility of being dumped into the “no future guarantees zone.” Or as it is popularly known: InCel.

    This is ultimately why it’s possible for guys like you and M3 to remain in such a silent state of suffering indefinitely. It’s a “Consent Market,” so no guarantee of release is promised, and no date is given. It’s actually a lot like Hell.

    Since it’s a total procedure though, this entire Game we have going on can’t be discussed openly. This is ultimately why it can’t be discussed in-person or in public, but also on places like Quora, Instagram, Twitter, or whatever. Everyone knows but no one can really say anything.

    My favorite part about Elliot Rodger was that he was probably the most explicit sign of there being something wrong. The sheer amount of emotion and distress that guided him to do that, and the lack of any other alternative, is the key. We notice that people don’t go on spree shootings and then kill themselves because their dog doesn’t get cancer treatment. Nor do any women do the same thing because they’re so oppressed. The reason is because they’re not so oppressed, not so oppressed to want to kill their friends and roommates and then themselves.

    To be honest, the fact that we live in a society that aided and abetted the existence of someone like Elliot Rodger is what is alarming. Both before and after his death, no one liked him, which is also alarming.

    We live in a sort of, secular, free will bubble, that has lead people to believe that consent is somehow the Gold Standard for legal sex, but Rodger is objective proof that this does not work and that extramarital sex is actually harmful in all ways, legitimately evil. In a few paragraphs, postmodernism is destroyed and religion is vindicated.

    As discussed by myself in way too many places (Facebook, Quora, Reddit, YouTube, and so on and so forth), the invention of the Pill divorced sex and marriage, leading to the creation of the Sexual Marketplace, and the Deceptive Promise of Infinite Sex with No Strings Attached.

    The goal is ultimately to stop being deceived by this bait, and to restore contractual marriage as the only legitimate scenario in which one can enjoy sex. There is no free will, that is a delusion.

    People tend to study world religions and think that they’re misogynistic or evil. It’s actually not so. Religions are honest, there is no strain of religion in existence that does not possess a misogynistic component. The Abrahamic religion believes we lost Paradise because of women. Buddhism thinks its lifespan was cut in half because of the ordination of women. Muhammad said that he had left nothing more dangerous to men, after his death, than women. Muhammad also said the vast majority of people in Hell would be women.

    It is for the reasons discussed on this blog that all of those things will be true.

  175. This post really opened up my, and the wierd thing is, I can sooo relate to this…

    I see quite a few women that I like, and some of them do go for guys who arn’t exactly great for them, yet a nice guy…can’t do that.

    Out of curiousity, what happened to the girl who you had mad feelings for, and the guy who was screwing her, when he knew you loved her? What happened to them in the end?

    Thanks for being really honest, and for bringing light to this subject

  176. I think we need a new eugenics movement to constantly supply the West with a surplus of young, thin women so that they can no longer get away with these soul sucking games. The only reason why all these incels are showing up with these maladaptive personalities is because the sheer volume of attractive females has taken a plunge due to obesity and selfish white elitism that prevents the society from making the structural changes that needs to occur. The male ego is not designed to withstand years and years of solitude away from attractive fertile females like how the West perpetuates itself all for the sake of buttercup. Also do not give into the lies and posturing of many “family oriented types” who live blue pilled, artificial, tow the line, please the princess lives who will contest the eugenic ideal. The ghastly lives of American male incels are dismissed because the national psyche sees these forsaken males almost as living in sin for enjoying a Peacetime with no great war behind it. We need to breed millions more females to compete with and erode the advantages of the females already living in the feminized paradigm. Imagine a country with scores of females begging for male attention!

  177. @Tickleme

    It’s actually a lot simpler than that, all we need to do is eliminate contraception. Without contraception is there is no dating, and thus no Sexual Marketplace. There will be a sexual marketplace per se, but it will be more of a Marriage Marketplace. Either way, all acts of sex will be capped by the act of reproduction. So there will be no “alpha dudes,” having sex with tons of women, and no women having sex with tons of dudes. Everyone who has sex will do so with their husband or wife. This is the standard religious view of sex.

    Sex -> pregnancy -> children -> family -> marriage.

    The elimination of contraception means the elimination of male fascination with women as sexual objects used solely for sexual gratification. Things like pornography, Instagram, Hollywood (started by Jews, oh so ironically), music and music videos (the music industry in general), will cease to exist. Naked women dancing on stage, feminism, women’s liberation movements, will all “come to a close.” Women will never be naked in public again.

    The elimination of music and entertainers via sex appeal means that movies will go as well. This means the gradual elimination of distractions from internal existential angst. No more postmodern celebrities spouting morally relativistic positions on their Twitter accounts or whatever. No more Elliot Rodgers, no more people dying, no more silent suffering, no more InCel, and so on and so forth.

    As distractions die out (porn, music, movies, and so on), all of humanity will fall flat on their face and worship the one God. Sex will be far more satisfying with one’s wife as there will be no more games, no more insecurity, and no more jealousy. Men and women will live in harmony. There will be no cause for strife, or social “Game.” Stress levels will go down considerably, life will be normal and “simple.”

    Tensions between world religions will disappear, so-called racial tensions will also disappear. Life will become effortless.

    It’s really that simple. Contraception produces a splayed and “infinite” change in culture. Men desire infinite sex, the SMP is the bait, but it does not deliver. Close the splaying by eliminating condoms and pills and the population of Earth goes down considerably. As everything is “stabilized,” so will culture and the economy stabilize. It’s mathematics.

    All of this was predicted to occur long time ago by Muḥammad ibn ʿAbd Allāh (the founder of Islam). He stated that during the Last Days an Antichrist (Dajjal, i.e. Deceiver) would arise who would trick people into thinking he had Paradise. The truth would be that the Dajjal’s Paradise would be Hell. Dajjal also had a Hell, that in reality would be Paradise. The profligation of female musicians was also linked to the End Times and most of the Dajjal’s followers would be women (think leftism, postmodernism, feminism, secularism and so on and so forth).

    Cut contraception, it all goes away. I guarantee it.

    We can have world peace, a religious paradise, and things making sense again, all without shedding a single drop of blood. This also vindicates all previous revelations, because it is objective proof that sex outside of marriage is physically and spiritually harmful.


    Elimination of contraception entails:

    1. The ordering of the world in such a way that people will be able to see and think clearly, such that they will be able to understand all previous revelations from God, and acknowledge God’s existence.

    2. The stabilization of the world economy as “culture” also changes.

    3. The reduction of the world’s population (synchronization entails the population stabilizing).

    There’s no point in educating people on the complexities of PUA, Game, social dynamics, theology, Human Adulthood, religion, “politics,” and whatever, needed to see how all of these things are interconnected. I’ve done it for you.

    Something to think about.


  178. Reblogged this on EOTP and commented:
    Wish I read this sooner.

  179. Well, my 44th birthday is later this month. Still a virgin. I am reconciled to the situation. Since I first came across this post, I have improved my money situation, although my family situation still requires me to live with my aunt and uncle. I am in good physical shape, to the point where I can now understand why middle-aged men like to take shirt-less selfies. Thankfully, I don’t do that.

    I go through my day largely invisible to women. So much so, that one time while I was at a bar before Christmas, it was almost 30 minutes before a waitress stopped by and asked if I wanted anything to drink. During my last meeting with my therapist, which was in the autumn of 2012, she remarked that I had given up. Not in the sense that I was going to kill myself. The days I every considered that are long gone. But I had given up in the sense that I did not see my situation improving, and was putting less effort.

    Looking back, I think she was on the right track, but made some errors. First, my own mistake was putting too much stock in how women see me. Once I realized they don’t see me, and are unlikely to, it was a bit of a relief. I could focus on getting my finances in order not to impress a woman, but simply because that is what I should do. I stay in shape so that when I see my doctor for my annual physical, he can tell me (as he did last year) – “You’re the type of patient I like. Once a year and everything looks OK.”

    Occasionally, I will feel sadness at the life I did not live. I don’t mean promiscuity. That was never likely to happen, and truth be told, I don’t have the personality for it. I still occasionally call a phone sex line, but not in the compulsive way I used to, and if no one sounds interesting, I just hang up. Most of the women I come across at stores or other public places just seem so boring, and not worth the effort. And for a guy with my looks, it takes more effort.

    I would describe myself as MGTOW. I find interacting with people to be irritating, infringing on my solitude. There are some men that simply leave no impression on women – positive or negative. I’m one of them. It took a while for me to figure that out. I’m not going to rail against it anymore.

  180. 12 years? I managed to go from 28 to 44 (16 years) without so much as touching a woman. The only sex since has been with prostitutes. A wasted life I will never get back.

  181. @Ted.

    My advice to you would be to go overseas, Thailand is most (in)famous, and pay for as much sex as you can handle, time and money allowing.

    In Pattaya alone there are estimated to be 20,000 women in the sex industry, young, old, stunningly beautiful, fat, thin, ugly……..Also men and transexuals. You can find them in raucous, crazy gogo bars, low key pubs, online, on the street, in massage parlours, everywhere. Asian girls, Africans, Russians.

    Don’t look for a relationship or love although it is possible if highly risky. However have sex!! It is easy and being in your 40s you will be young compared to many of the other men you see. You can have an enormous amount of fun if you are realistic and keep your wits about you. Keep yourself clean wear a condom and be treat the women properly.

    A lot of sanctimonious people might be outraged by this suggestion but it is an easy and simple way for you to gain sexual experience.

  182. Recently, had the chance to listen to the podcast series “S-Town”. It is a podcast produced by the same public radio team that produces “This American Life” and “Serial” It shows the same production values (top-notch) and finding interesting stories in everyday characters. But, over the course of the series, themes appeared that relate to some of the issues we’ve discussed here about being incel.


    It starts out as a possible murder mystery in a small town in Alabama. But, it turns out that there is no murder. There were rumors of one, but it turns out the supposed victim is very much alive. The guy who reported the possible murder, John , is a bit of an eccentric. He lives in the South, but hates it. He hates big trucks, he hates guns, he hates almost everything about his town. But, he cannot leave, because he is the sole caregiver for his mom.
    He is unmarried. He has no girlfriend, and has never been married. When the narrator asks him if he might be gay, John says, “Who knows?” He thinks there is a chance, but he cannot find anyone, male or female, that he is compatible with. He says the town is full of closet cases, or guys who live down low.

    Then, in the middle of the series, the narrator is informed John committed suicide. The narrator heads back to the small Alabama town to find out why. He comes across a man who was 20 years John’s senior. John was hoping to start a romantic relationship with him, but the man was not interested. This same man reveals that John was a frustrated man. The only other men who seemed interested in John were just looking for sex, not a real partnership.

    The narrator also interviews a young woman, who is married with a child, who reveals that John spent a lot of time with them, almost as if he could not have a family of his own, he could be close to one. John saw other people moving in with their lives, and he was stuck. He could not take it anymore, and took his own life.

    Unlike George Sodini, Eliot Rodger, or Seung Hui Choi – John was an incel who did not engage in mass violence. The narrator does not use the term “incel”, but people who frequent this site will recognize the signs. Of course, we know that straight men who are incel should keep quiet. It is more acceptable in some circles to say that you wish to be addressed as the opposite sex than to admit you reached middle age without ever having sex.

  183. […] kind of hedonism that feminists have pushed for. She strings him along for attention and favors for months to years without a single date, while getting banged by complete strangers within hours of […]

  184. lmao, this fucking cunt. I have friends that are legit 30 year old virgins and they don’t bitch like you. I’m glad you could finally bang women with low enough standards that they take off their clothes for undesirable men like you for a living, but you still sound like such a whiny bitch even after that. Here’s a fucking hint: grow the fuck up. If not having sex is your worst fucking problem, I have no sympathy for you. Human contact can happen in other ways. You weren’t forced into a straight jacket and then placed in a cell for your whole life. Screaming about how this is your “biology” and people can never understand how much of a special snowflake you are? Fucking pathetic. Human fucking beings have risen above their biology in so many fucking ways but apparently you’re a simple animal. Should have just killed yourself when you had the chance, please still consider that as an option. You’ll always be different from a truly confident man, you’ll never be able to compete with them. You’ll only fool women with no self esteem, but animals don’t care about things like that I guess. I guess if you don’t end your life like you should, at least your dick will probably fall off from the nasty shit you’re probably catching from your low self-esteem man-whore shit.

  185. Quite a story. For a young and healthy man, no sex is akin to torture. Very insidious too, because you stay a child forever. At the end of the day, children can work, learn, play, talk… pretty much everything except sex. An intelligent 12-year-old can easily work in an office, for instance.
    But sex is the province of adults. If you are not getting it, you remain, at least symbolically, a child. It is no wonder we see people in their 30s with apparently “childish” hobbies such as videogames. One extra reason videogaming is attractive is that unlike cinema or literature, there are little erotic references which might remind you of your misery.

    That’s why those saying a sexless life is not a big deal don’t know what they are talking about. The biological urge is controllable, even without masturbating. But sex being a shorthand for adulthood, lacking it implies an unescapable emptiness. It is not an irrelevant problem by any means.

  186. […] Confessions of a Reformed InCel | M3 […]

  187. I was incel all the way up to age 35 and never even physically touched a woman. I don’t understand why this happened but i developed psych problems during my 20s ( depression etc…). I’ve been off and on anti-depressant meds for 17 years.
    I’m currently 47 and have been incel for 6 years.
    I can relate to what he said. Getting out of INCEL requires you to take charge of yourself and make changes to talk to people. Getting out and doing PUA is the greatest thing in the world you can do as a man. It changes every aspect of your life.

  188. Okay, so all I can say here is “wow”. There are many things here I understand completely (why do the women go for the assholes, why don’t women find me attractive, why am I an endless doormat despite being what feminists want me to be…). But 12 years, dude?
    In high school all my “friends” (quotes because most didn’t spend time with me outside of school) were girls. I had zero sexual experiences in middle school / high school, even though I had a date for every school dance you could think of. I listened to them (the girls) complain and bitch and moan and whine about how guys are assholes and they want a “nice guy like you” (meaning me)…and I was sitting right in front of them the whole time.
    I was afraid of having sex for the longest time, because I was scared to death that I’d finally get a girl to fuck me, only to be terrible in bed, get humiliated & spend the rest of my life deciding between “left hand or right hand this time”. My first sexual experience was with, no lie, a 22 year old butch lesbian from work who gave me a handjob in my car. (I was 17 at the time).
    My college girlfriend and I messed around sexually, oral and handy and whatnot, tried penetration once but with both of us being virgins we couldn’t figure it out (yes, embarrassing at that is, I’m owning that)
    I was 20 when I started meeting women online, impressing them with my words and my intelligence first & having them turned on by my brains and discovered something…I could still be the nice guy I was. I finally lost my virginity at age 20 to the woman I eventually married & had a kid with. We ended up splitting but my newfound sexual experience gave me confidence.
    A few flings, a couple of girlfriends…one who was a legit “sex addict”…I had just crazy amounts of sex. It was fun, adventurous…we’d have sex in daring, risky places, etc…
    I remained the nice guy I was (still am, actually). What changed? Confidence.
    Women are attracted to physical traits but so are guys, dude. You spent 12 years wallowing in the “why not me?” pity pool instead of just finding ways to meet women you COULD impress with “the real you”. You lacked confidence.
    I don’t mean to be or sound harsh here, everyone’s experiences are different and your feelings are as valid as anyone else’s. But I spent years of my own feeling frustrated, angry, resentful…and it got me nowhere.
    Physical traits fade over time, character tends to last. Having been with a woman who saw me as nothing more than a 5’9″ cock, I can tell you how empty that made me feel (after 5 months because yes, exceptional sex is exceptional sex…).
    I’m rambling here, I know. But I tend to be an empath, I feel others feelings and want to help. I stayed true to myself and sought women that would want me & subsequently, women that I would want.
    Telling a nice guy to reject his true nature and become an asshole is not good advice because he is by nature, not an asshole. Don’t be fake, be real, be confident in yourself.
    I’ve discovered that above all else, women find confidence sexy & the so called “alphas” (read: douchebag bros) exude confidence, albeit shallow and false.
    Women don’t have to pay for sex because all they need is to go to a bar, show some skin & some interest and the dude’s on the phone finding a hotel nearby. There’s nothing wrong with you except your attitude & women pick up on that shit, dude.
    I’m pushing 40 and have had a sexual past I never expected to have. I got my first and gained confidence. The trouble is getting your “first”. But it is not something to force to happen because that sex will be horrible (read: my ‘almost fuck’ with my college girlfriend).
    Rant / ramble complete.

  189. […] you know it’s a serious movement because they all constantly worry about being placed in the friend zone, a term coined by Joey Tribiani in the episode “The One With the Blackout“. All […]

  190. Coming from Red pill reddit (just started on this journey),

    Thanks for the story. I think I’m in a similar, fortunately lesser boat than you. I’m 22 and just graduated from college. I’m still a virgin. I kissed a couple girls on the cheek in HS and a couple on the lips in college (so fairly little action).

    I’ve just been unconfident and unable to “seal the deal.” I did go through depression at times and felt as if I was destined to never bang chicks. I settled on the fantasy/idea that I’d get an arranged marriage and everything would work from there.

    But I started getting disenfranchised about marriage, as I would have no idea if my wife wants to split and take my money or she’d be the same person once we are married as she appeared while being my fiance etc. Also, I don’t think I’d be willing to settle down until I’ve had my fair share of woman in terms of regret. Also if I get married now, I’d be a complete beta, aka she’d be liable to cheating on me.

    Getting fearful of the risks of marriage I had another fantasy of just make alot of money and start having sex with prostitutes but I know I’d have other mental issues like feeling I’m worthless and unable to attract a women.

    I’m planning on making these next years (maybe now till 30) just on developing my game and attracting/picking girls and getting laid. I’ve read the “Tao of Badass” which I think will help me back when I started college but I never really implemented it so it didn’t do anything for me. These next years I’m going to start implementing Tao and other seduction guide books and make moves. I haven’t done anything yet and I think my personality, it won’t work on my own. I’ll probably need to get a mentor / dating coach (aka player/wingman to help me out of my shell).

    Hopefully, my path diverges from the path you went as certainly another couple years of no action and I will become seriously crazy.

  191. You are still young Trent, but you have to be very proactive. Sex won’t “just happen”. For women maybe, but not for us. You have to hit on girls as much as you can. Strike up conversations, ask for things, keep talking, get numbers. It is work, basically. Look for a PUA method.

    In my case I did not worry a lot about the whole thing in my late teens-early twenties because I supposed it would, yeah, ‘simply happen’. The good part of that mentality of it is the lack of anxiety then, but when you are around 25 and still a virgin you start to wonder “wtf is going on here?” :~(

    I have had sex with prostitutes. I enjoyed it, and it was much better than I expected. However I always worry about STDs and stuff (although from what I have read if the escort is more or less expensive the chances are low). One positive effect of it is that it creates an abundance mentality: you stop idolizing hot women that much because you know you can always have one. But of course there is some risk. Your call.

    I think your plan for the near future is very good. Marriage is such a joke these days. For me it is easier however since I have never wanted children or to get married. I just can not see the point of it.

    My final advice is not to neglect your finances. You will have plenty of time to game women, but don’t allow womanizing to interfere with it. FInding a job you like to do is the key to happiness in my opinion, because that is what you will be doing most of the time.

    This is not the world I expected, but we have to deal with it as it is, not as we would like it to be.

  192. This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever read. A woman is obligated to have sex with you just because you were a “good” friend??? Also you clearly weren’t a genuinely nice guy because all you wanted was sex from her anyways.

  193. @ Ok:
    Either your reading skills are underdeveloped or you are a typical spoiled chick who has trapped many betas in her friend-zone.

  194. A little age perspective……….. I thought I would weigh in on this site to provide some ancient-man perspective. I am 63 – married for a long time, father w/grown males now happily divorced, business owner, 6-feet tall, attractive, in excellent shape, plenty of ego. A couple of short comments first – from those in their 20’s who think that their “sexual height” was 18-22 and now they are doomed…… relax. There is plenty of time for great sex. Personally – most of the sex I had when very young (first time 17) was a combination of awkward & mindless. It’s true the physical performance dims – but pills are great (thank God) & in my case – the thrill I get from making my partner lose control is always the best part. There are many times (this is an age thing) where I may not ejaculate – but that just makes the next time better.

    I grew up in a society that changed very dramatically from a “man’s world” to this F’d up feminist monstrosity we live in. The world – & I do mean the world – is full of a lot of VERY confused “women” and “men”. Society is tearing itself apart – actually if you read some history you’ll see that almost everything that we are seeing is the result of a Marxist world view. No borders, no family, no religion – etc etc – leads to a lot of sheep. You are the result of 60 years of Marxist ideology being forced down your throats – originally at the Universities, but now through all levels of school, all media, all social interaction. To understand that you need to read some history. You also need to understand that right and wrong are NOT relative – that’s just more BS.

    We have evolved for millions of years to be men – all the crap that society feeds us – the reason for this site – is complete BS. As a man (or woman) you are controlled by that evolution. As much as you may hope to change it – you are making yourself (men & women) unhappy, angry, self-destructive — you name it – when you try to emulate what society tells you about man-woman relationships.

    You will make yourself and your woman happy when you exhibit “manly” attributes. Period. That doesn’t mean fucking women over – far from it. Cherish & protect them – yes, even from themselves. And don’t take ANY bullshit from them or anyone else. Yes – this is hard and you will really be going against the grain. Too bad.

    You must understand what Triage is – you can’t help most of the women you will encounter, or the men, for that matter. They are bleeding out in every way possible. Interact and socialize with those who can see or who are open to seeing. Spending time with feminist men and women is a huge mistake. They are a cancer. Belittle them, laugh at them, ignore them. Yes – all that horrible behavior, that “judging” – do it. You have a brain for a reason – and judging others is why. You cannot protect yourself, your family, your friends –
    everything that is important – if you do not judge. All the crap you’ve been taught about everyone being “special” – just allows you to be manipulated. I’m sure many on the forum will be aghast at this – it is counter to all their conditioning. Sorry (not really).

    Yes – hit the gym. It doesn’t matter if you are a skinny 5’2 nerd – your body changes very quickly when you are young – and men can change dramatically for a LONG time – even at my age. Being physically strong helps you realize you are a man. And – in today’s world where women are trying desperately to be men – it’s helpful to be able to laugh at them. Yes – I know that sounds cruel. Too bad, Women are not men, and the real world isn’t made up of “Wonder Woman” & all the other BS female role models. These days women put themselves into very bad situations because they buy into this BS. Worse, of course – they are destroying

    Women want strong men. Yes – even those women who think they don’t. They are hard wired and you are hard wired. Cosmo and MSNBC are not going to change that. However – social programming works – just look at North Korea – and everyone who is reading this message has been conditioned from birth.

    My generation was also subject to this conditioning — but we had religion, family, tradition, culture and a functioning society to fight with. You have NOTHING except blogs like this, and your capacity to question and to learn.

    A couple of other things. Sex is a MUST HAVE for a man. Reading posts by 42 year old men saying they have not had sex — that’s just crazy. Get on a plane, go to Cabo, or Havana, or Brasil, or another part of the world where the Dollar is king and the people live in the real world – and buy some sex. Buy LOTS of sex. Don’t wait any longer.

    Again – the gasps from the progressive mindset. People – since man could make fire – rich men have bought sex, and the poor have mad a living selling it. Its a win-win. Why not stay here and buy sex? Because sex here is expensive and you want more than one taste. You wan a week or sex 3 times a day. Or 2, Or 10. Whatever it takes to get over your initial personal hurdle. Losers don’t have sex and winners do. Be a winner. Bali and Brasil are very nice all year. Broaden those horizons.

    I can just hear all the progressives – you must need to buy sex. Well – no, not as in prostitutes. I am a relationship guy – was married for many years. In a long term relationship now – with a lot of sex. I have visited prostitutes — never. But I have been to all those places and if you are not having sex (like many of the posters here) – you need to. Trust me – after 2 weeks of hot crazy sex with a gorgeous prostitute you are going to feel a lot better about yourself. And – that’s what it’s all about. You need that self confidence – no matter where you get it. Build on that when you come back home.

    I don’t have all the answers – but I have been on the planet for a LONG TIME and I lived in a pre-feminist world. I STILL live in that world. Most of you don’t. You’ll fix that by being men, rejecting manipulation by women, your government, the MSM, and progressives wherever you may find them.

    Not such a bad thing to go into a fight, either.

    🙂 My $0.02 worth. Good luck!

  195. Good points Timothy. At 24 I decided that I had waited enough so I decided to visit a prostitute. There is a risk of STDs, but I think I made the right decision, because 4 years later no non-paying sex has happened either. Funny that some people obtain it so easily while it is so hard for others like me.

    Out of curiosity I wonder what the actual effects of sex deprivation are, so far I have not found any scientific paper on this. My take is that sexlessness is made much worse by a society in which erotica is everywhere.

  196. Oscar,

    I imagine that the effects are very similar, or at least related to, what happens when people are touch deprived. In children and infants, this causes a condition called *failure to thrive*, where despite having adequete shelter, food, warmth, etc the child experiences developmental issues.

    In adults, it’s been shown that men and women who lack physical touch and/or intimacy in their lives have elevated blood pressure, have stronger reactions to pain, experience a loss of appetite, and report being depressed or anxious far more than people who get hugs or touches consistently. Unfortunately, touch deprivation affects many more men than women on average due to social customs and expectations in the Western world.

  197. Very interesting note, Dawn, thanks.

    I googled “lack of physical touch” and I have found several articles about that problem, which seems quite widespread.

    Right now as a result of my own sexlessness I am very interesting in getting to know its effects, and how much of them are environment-related versus biology-derived.

  198. Not a problem, Oscar. I’m glad I could point you in the right direction for further research.

    I’m not currently sexless like yourself, but I didn’t have consensual sex until I was 24, and have still only been with that one boyfriend (I’m 31 now, and we don’t cohabitate or have children). I’ve done my own research on the complications and effects of sexual deprivation since I have had PGAD since about age 15, and experience the same physical symptoms that many male incels speak of. If you’re interested, I could try to find some of those links again and post them here for you.

  199. You say you want to eliminate contraception, but that would never happen. Contraceptives have been in use since ancient history and it is simply that nowadays condoms work better and chemical choices have fewer negative side effects. Men and women alike have always sought ways to enjoy the pleasure of sexual intimacy without the fear of accidental pregnancy, and that will never change in our species.

    Very religious people like yourself are of course free to equate sex with procreation instead of mutual relief, enjoyment, and intimacy, as well as restrain yourselves from nonmarital sex and/or marital sex that would create a child when you don’t want any. This is absolutely your right, for you and your spouse to decide together.

    But for those of us who are atheist (like myself) or simply not as religious (like my boyfriend, who is a Christian but thankfully got a vasectomy at age 30 to avoid ever having children) we do not wish to do so. In order to pass such legislation, the USA would have to become a hardcore theocracy, which will also never happen because it goes against our First Amendment rights.

  200. […] Confessions of a Reformed InCel | M3 […]

  201. You had a 12 year dry spell and lost your virginity at the age of 17. That’s nothing. I lost my virginity at the age of 38. You heard me right. And even then, the sex I had didn’t last. I’ve probably had sex less than ten times in my entire life. The woman I slept with became so severely ill I became her caregiver for over a decade. I couldn’t abandon her and she literally has no one else. What I’m saying is I’ve spent virtually all of my 51 years on the planet feeling completely and utterly unloved. I know my girlfriend loves me, but there’s no sex, no touching, no cuddling (she has PTSD). I’m only writing this to say that the feelings of suicide are very, very real because of this. I’ve suffered from depression all of my life. Literally. It’s all I know. It’s how I’ll eventually end my life. I know that. No one can live feeling this unloved for this long. The saddest thing: I really am a nice guy. And not a bad-looking guy. I also followed all of those rules about how to treat women, and I watched the assholes getting laid. Short-drop hanging. That’s the way to do it. I think about it more and more the older I get. I can’t take it much longer.

  202. This is the most sissy article of self loathing and bullshit I’ve ever read. Go get your T levels checked you fuckin girl.

  203. This is the most sissy article of self loathing and bullshit I’ve ever read. Go get your T levels checked you fuckin girl.

  204. That girl youvwere in love with wasnt out to hurt you, she was *scared* of you. Ive been in that exact situation where im around a guy who’s acting creepy and i do everything i can to keep him from flipping out. Shed never tell you to your face how uncomfortable you made her because she was afraid of gou. It’s probably the same for tge women saying “youre fine as you are”. You were Kylo Ren but thinking you were Obi-Wan and none of this is surprisong in the slightest if you realized that.

  205. The next step is to maintain this awareness of the shallow nature of female lust and not hate the women for it.

    I feel confident women are not aware of the deceptions they pull. They actually believe what they say.

    The middle ground would be requiring that all committed relationships be permanently sexual. Absent that, the relationship is no longer permanent. The existing bonds are wanted, welcome, and caring, but not exclusive. Platonic relationships can be very enriching, but they are not enough. No wife can be enough for a man if she’s voluntarily celibate. It’s absurd that this is assumed and unquestioned.

    The worship of monogamy is a disease that makes women as miserable as the guys. Dropping the fantasy of a permanent, blissful, platonic couple would allow the ladies a stable family with guys not expecting to get laid permanently. When sex becomes less frequent than the husband (or wife!) will accept, they’ll need to hunt for a mistress or stud with the spouse’s full knowledge. No slut-shaming or automatic divorce. A man’s effort to become and remain attractive for teh sake of wooing a mistress may well allow the wife to remain interested, especially when competition is constantly in play.

    Women think they want the comfort of a kept man, but kept men start worrying about putting in extra hours behind a desk rather than on romance and hitting the gym. The hunt for a mistress will keep his mind on those things and it seems probable the husband will invest at least a little of his research on his #1 lady.

    David and Solomon, Jews among the most beloved by God, had many many wives. So where did all this monogamy junk come from? New testament letters written by a former Christian executioner who later became head of the sect and started telling them to have a single wife forever. Good way to kill off a cult you hate, isn’t it? Worked for the Shakers. Monogamy is one woman away from celibacy and genetic death. Some marriages it’s not even that. The complacency helps neither husband nor wife. Security breeds sloth. The Christian model of marriage is a lie and the most fulfilled people will reject it in the 21st century.

    We need not condemn women for their nature, any more than we should tolerate their contempt for us due to ours. We can be better than they. Hate is for losers. Love our women as they are just as they should for us. That is how the alpha world can grow and spread more functional sexuality to a grateful world.

  206. Women do love sex just as much as us, and they mean that when they say it.

    It’s just women never really give the whole picture. You have to read between the lines.

    What this actually means is that in the moment, women love it just as much as us, if not more than us. But we need that moment a lot more frequenty than women do.

    Men are consistent. Women inconsistent.

  207. Buttslam these stupid bitched and then ghost

  208. Time for another update. I’ll turn 45 next month, still a virgin, with no prospects on the horizon. As before, I go back and forth on being angry/sad to not caring. Not caring is becoming more frequent, reinforced by sights of modern women – whose appearances range from forgettable to bleh. Maybe it’s the area I work and live in, but I’m not making any plans to move. The post will be less about me specifically than about 2 recent episodes in our current environment that provide a snapshot of how messed up things are.

    The comedian Aziz Ansari had his life turned upside down when a woman he hooked up spilled the details about a night that went badly for her. The short version is that he took her to dinner and back to his place. The evening saw oral sex, some bizarre use of fingers, and episodes of Seinfeld. The woman asked to leave, and Ansari called her a car. He texted the next day saying he had fun, she responded that she did not, he apologized. Suddenly, another Hollywood celebrity who has spoken in support of women’s issues was being lambasted as a sexual abuser.

    But, what was different this time was there was pushback – from women. Most notable was HLN’s Ashleigh Banfield – who said if this was assault, the woman should have reported it to the police. With a sniper-like accuracy, Banfield goes through, bit by bit, of how the story, even if true, is not rape, sexual assault, or harassment. It was a bad date between 2 people who could not read each other. Banfield points out that by trying to include a bad/awful date in the #MeToo narrative, this woman actually harms it. Ansari did not have a pattern of harassment of assault, unlike Harvey Weinstein or Kevin Spacey.

    Ansari felt, as probably many “nice guys” do that he supports women in the workplace, he promotes them when possible, and wants to experiment sexually with a willing woman. Anytime this woman said to slow down or stop, he did. But he did not pick up her “non-verbal cues”. As a former nice guy – guess what, most men, and especially nice guys, are pretty poor at nonverbal cues. I look back over my own history, and think there may have been some non-verbal cues that I missed.

    The other showbiz news that has relevance to this discussion is the death of actor John Mahoney. He is best known for playing the father Martin Crane on “Frasier”, but has acted in many films and plays too. In an interview back in 2008, when asked about why he’s never seen with a companion, he revealed that due to colon cancer surgery in his thirties, he could not have sex. He seemed at peace with that, and enjoyed company with good friends and family. Mahoney said he had a full life. He never married or had children.

    By all who knew him, Mahoney was regarded as a kind, likable man. He had wealth, charm – and no woman to share it with. One possibility, as unpleasant as it may be to say, is that the likelihood of a relationship with a man who cannot have sex, even a man who can give her everything, does not appeal to a woman. Oral sex and toys can only go so far – it cannot completely replace the need for that primal connection humans need.

    But, since this is the 21st century, there were whispers that maybe Mahoney was a closeted gay man. That is possible – but the only evidence of him being gay seems to be that he never married and was never seen on dates. Well, that could apply to me – and it would be wrong. How telling it is that in today’s world – people are more ready to say a man must be gay if not seen with a woman, than an incel, which is dismissed as simply misogynistic nonsense.

    Many men will go there lives without a woman, and it is not due to them being in the closet. It is due to, partly, to a culture that says men must pursue, but if the wrong type of men pursue, they’re monsters.

    Ansari tried to be kinky in the privacy in his own home, and his life is ruined. Mahoney went through his solitary life with a quiet dignity, and people still feel the need to say, “Oh, he was just not comfortable with his sexuality.” Hell really is other people.

  209. The people who say he’s wrong and worthless and doesn’t understand have never experienced being a man in his position and are trying to poison/shame him into falling in line with the false status quo narrative.

    That kind of ‘violent’ online reaction is exactly what you’d expect from people who feel personally attacked by the challenge to their social dominance through a narrative.

  210. Ted do you do a lot of pursuing?

  211. […] finns ett uppmärksammat blogginlägg som heter Confessions of a Reformed InCel, där en person beskriver hur han gick från att vara sig själv och inte få ligga, till att bli […]

  212. Emanuel78,

    No, I no longer pursue. I am 45 now. While I am making steady progress in paying down debt, that means I do not have much wealth/discretionary income. I also look after an aunt who has had multiple strokes and has her mobility reduced. So, not a lot of money and family responsibilities, coupled with average looks (at best). Any positive qualities I may have would only factor in if I did not have these pre-existing circumstances.

  213. MAN YOU HAVE YOUR PRIORITIES MESSED UP. If you won your confidence thru screwing strippers who have all the intelligence of a watermelon….. On the positive you state that you have nothing left to prove. Good for you. You have also opened the eyes and hearts of many with your personal account. But don’t draw so much on the alpha male pseudo science. People are sick of hearing that.

  214. Glad to see your write-up of the terrible attack in Toronto. Sadly, the response from most media outlets has followed a predictable course – guilt by association. A man who was possibly incel mows down a bunch of people, so naturally any man in a similar predicament is a monster who feels entitled to women’s bodies.

    Yeah – no. First off, this driver may have been incel, but as the comments on this page show, most of the harm is not borne by women, but by men. If anything, he and others such as Eliot Rogers are the exception, not the rule. Most incels quietly go about their day, suffering in silence. Suicide is far more likely than mass murder in such situations.

    It is amusing that when women find themselves on the losing end of the sexual marketplace – there are ample avenues for their frustration. Daytime talk shows, cable news, magazines. And, they often lobby the government to enact laws to address negative outcomes. Make men pay child support, to the point when he can be imprisoned if he falls behind (employment status not important). If the guy is a deadbeat, get government support or pass laws to require employers to provide daycare. Heck, the musical Mamma Mia is about a woman who slept with so many guys, she did not know who her kid’s father was – and people just love that. Now, imagine the musical from the cad’s point of view – he got so many women pregnant, he can’t keep track. Hilarity!

    Now, with #MeToo, you can even charge a guy in public, with no evidence, of something called “sexual misconduct” – a catch-all, meaningless term. Last week, Tom Brokaw was anonymously slandered with “unwanted sexual advances” for something that happened in 1968! So all you quiet types – stay quiet. Cause you never know – 50 years later someone, somewhere may say you said something that made them feel uncomfortable. Of course, it could not possibly be that the woman feels she missed out on a luxurious lifestyle of Brokaw’s income and status. No, that would never happen.

    No, incels do not feel entitled to women’s bodies. Incels learned the hard way that all the bullshit they were fed growing up was nonsense. Unless, incels should be content that they can settle for overweight single moms with multiple kids and jacked up credit.

    Suggest that a person with a penis and no uterus is not by any definition a woman, you’re transphobic. Suggest that maybe some men might be upset by the behavior of women, you clearly hate women.

    In personal news – took a couple of days off to visit my brother in SF. It was OK, but as usual, his wife was upset about something. Was it the big house in a tony neighborhood, the Benz in the driveway, or their upcoming European vacation? No, it was something about scheduling of pickups that day. For 20 minutes, I heard her yelling from his home office about how he was not considerate to her. I started playing music on my iPad so I couldn’t hear. My brother just stood there and took it, rather than do what our dad used to do, which is yell even louder.

    While that was going on, I was checking my email. One of my cousins in Chicago was asking for help to watch her two kids Labor Day weekend, so she and her husband could take an extended weekend, just for themselves. Her parents agreed – mind you, they’re my aunt and uncle who I live with – you know, looking after her mom who has had a number of strokes over the past 3 years. Her dad said no problem, which he could since I’m there to lend a hand.

    Did I mention neither my sister in law nor my cousin work? Yet, the both have big houses in nice neighborhoods. Both are well educated, and in my sister in-law’s case, the kids are old enough that she could go back to work, using my brother’s contacts. But she chooses not to. Please keep telling us how Western women in the 21st century have it so rough.

    To review some last instances of when I could have had sex – a woman who had too much to drink in a Philadelphia hotel and was rubbing my thighs under the table (pass), a female assistant who made her intentions pretty clear when she’d jump into my lap (pass), a woman who was engaged to another man (pass). I guess I was just too dumb to realize if I wanted sex at an earlier age, all I had to do was behave in a manner that I would not approve of if done by another man.

  215. Ted, you are simply too much of a nice person; helping and respecting the others and at the same time neglecting your personal needs. You need to focus on your needs and start saying ‘no’ to others’ extraordinary demands. I don’t think it’s too late to reverse your inceldom status, but first you need to focus on yourself.

  216. […] on for some time now. I recently read a piece that Rollo shared about a guy who was a incel you can read the piece here (incel is someone who is involuntarily celibate). An omega is another word that is often used to […]

  217. William,

    I’m not sure I would categorize myself as incel anymore. I’d use that term if I were actively pursuing women and still getting rejected. That is no longer the case – I no longer pursue. Perhaps if I did, with the knowledge I have now that I did not have before, I might have better luck.

    But better luck with what kind of woman? Another single-mom? A once attractive woman who no longer is? Or, almost as bad – a plain woman who passed over me in the past, believing she could do better, but now realizing she cannot? It is hard to get excited for spending time with anyone like that.

    Again, any relationship with a woman will not be passion at a 24×7 rate – no relationship is. But, with the belief that any relationship would not even have a component of passion – no thanks. I was raised bearing witness to such a marriage, I see my brother stuck in one, and my cousin’s marriage ended due to the antics of his irresponsible wife.

    I’d probably describe myself as MGTOW now – focusing on getting my finances in order, keeping my health, and valuing my free time when I have it.


  218. SJTRP,

    Thanks for the comments. The Morgan Freeman nonsense seems to have burned out after 48 hours. He did apologize, but when the women were interviewed to describe what Freeman did, it turned out to be a big deal over nothing. What Freeman did, is he was an old man flirting as if he were a younger man. Unwise, even for a successful actor. It used to be called being a dirty old man, a cradle robber etc – but it was clumsy flirting on Freeman’s part. Now, apparently, clumsy flirting can be an invitation to a legal proceeding. If a guy like Freeman can be pilloried like that, what does chance the Average Joe working in the office have? If he’s lucky, it’s just a sternly worded letter from HR.

    In my younger days, the women who showed any interest in me was to fill a void that their current man did not offer, but they had no intention of leaving. They approached it like shopping – go to one store (man) for one set of goods (public outings, family gatherings, sex) and another store (man) for a different set (a good ear, dependability, sense of humor). No woman or man in my life took me aside to say that all my positive qualities would not amount to anything unless I worked on essentials first. You can have a beautiful house, but if it is not built on a solid foundation – no one will want it. I learned, painfully, that my foundation needed work, although some aspects of my foundation cannot be fixed, and indeed, might be getting worse. When I look in the mirror too long, I see a thickly-bespectacled man with a receding hairline.

    My family is out of town for a couple of days. This means, I get to come home to a quiet home, pour myself a drink, and leisurely watch TV. In a life where past pursuits in romance, education, and career did not amount to anything, I’ll take that.


  219. […] Whoism 3’s “Confessions Of A Reformed Incel” […]

  220. I used to find this thing really triggering, but now I just think it’s funny. Funny not because I deride your story, but funny as in ‘how hilarious and pathetic and inherently laughable the human condition is, how everyone suffers for no good reason, etc.” IE this story + all the comments.

    It’s good to NOT be triggered because I can finally come to see ‘the other side’, how inexplicably awful it is for men, etc. something you don’t see or think about when you’re the ‘uggo fatso troll’ also being friendzoned or passed over in favour of the same psychopathic cookiecutter tart that all men (regardless of age, prospects, SMV) gravitate towards like flies to shit. Because, lets face it, theres an entire universe of women that the MGTOWS and red pills and whoever don’t even NOTICE, much less bother with, and it’s the hordes of mousy, homely, fat girls who have, against all genetic odds, managed to propagate their kind in spite of their general state of invisibility. In other words, it really cuts both ways. In fact, if you look at all those ‘feminazis’ at those rallies, most of them come in that 5-or-below packaging that even the lowliest omega would not dip his wick into. Cuts both ways – unattractive men turned down by the same dumb garbage in pretty garb = MGTOWS and Incels. HOmely girls ignored by, well, everyone = hateful feminazis. If y’all don’t see that you don’t have the sense God gave a goose.

    So saying I WILL acknowledge that men have it way worse. Aside from the odd outlier or 2 in the comment (the few women who claim to NEVER EVER have had physical contact with a male) I think us uggs still have a better time of it in the meat market and your post helps explain that.

    I was short, overweight, unkempt, spent most of my youth in some weird drunk psychotic state and had the personality of a dump truck but still

    1) I did not make it past 18 with my virginity intact – I managed to find fuck buddies, boyfriends, and a spouse (still married) almost in spite of myself. In spite of the perception I lived with that NOBODy wants a homely girl, until I read your piece i did not REALIZE that in fact somebody does, at some point want an uggo – not so with homely, awkward men. Even if just for a random fuck at a random party. And then maybe they stick around for a spell or a long time or even become attached when they realize you’re fun and a good lay. But your sort of men do not. Apparently. You do not even get that opening. So the desperation is more real.

    2) I did not, physiologically, physically, or even psychologically suffer from the Friendzone status so much. You describe with poignant detail how excruitating it is for a male to be starved of sex and physical contact. And you know I completely accept that, even if I can never experience or understand it – the sense of being starving and looking in on a feast you can never have. PHYSICALLY starving. Not so for me. After I resigned myself that I would never be ‘that girl’ I became interested in BEING friendzone because men are and were interesting creatures liable to have more interesting convos than women with their tiresome ‘fashion and blokes’ drivel and even if it was a fellow whom I fancied who would not ‘do me’ even on a dare, I still enjoyed the interaction. Sure, “if only he liked me” and “fuck that cunt who does nothing and has them all doing cartwheels over her” but beyond that I was fairly content with my lot. I imagine that most passed- over girls, once they get over the inherent ego wound upon realizing the inherent low SMV drive theyve been handed, can and do tolerate their monastic condition far better than males due to their inherently lower (thus less frustrated) sex drive.

    I’m happy for you that you have found a way, and I’m happy for all the men (and women) who find their way to a fulfilling relationship in spite of themselves. All I ever hope for people is that they can find their way to a fulfilling relationship with someone they DO find valuable and attractive, however that ends up looking like in the end.

  221. It all goes away, when you are 60 and a complete virgin as a man, you loose interest in sex eventually! You also laugh at the thought of humanity becoming extinct as you will not have a stake in it.

  222. The idea that women can get sex whenever is completely false.
    If a woman is plain, awkward, overweight, unattractive – she is not having sex (attention) thrown at her.
    And even if a plain woman is offered casual sex – she most likely wont want to be used as a piece of meat, and would prefer a relationship with someone who she feels a genuine connection, mutual respect, and appreciation.

    I’m 45, I’ve never had a romantic relationship.
    I’ve had one night stands with men I’ve met on line, and 2 brief fuck-buddy relationships – with friends who preyed on my because they could see I was vulnerable and needy – I was hoping, in both cases, that the more time we spent together they’d see how nice I was and want to get to know me as a person – and would want me as a girlfriend.
    It didn’t occur to me that they just wanted sex, as I was quite a naive person.

    No man has ever made the effort to get to know me, to connect to me, to treat me special.
    As one of the plain women for the most part I’ve been completely ignored.
    I’ve filled the void, the emptiness, the loneliness with food, drink, drugs – so now, of course, I’m fat and a mess.
    Yeah men don’t like fatties – but what about when I was young and slim?

    Men are not the only ones that are involuntary celibate.
    Women suffer too.
    Red pillers say that 20% of men are fucking 80% of women.
    But you are all after the attractive Becky – thats like the top 20% of women.

    80% of men only want 20% of women. You ignore the rest of the women.
    You all go after the same spoilt bitches that are so used to attention that they can toss you aside without a second thought; then you brand all women as spoilt – you are the ones spoiling the Beckies.

    Men want sex, women want affection.
    Women don’t owe men sex. Men don’t owe women love and affection.

    Life is not fair.
    We all suffer.

  223. You popped into my head a few day ago. Glad to hear you’re well after you broke the ducking webz and set 4chan and reddit ablaze with you post.

    Stay up Brother. You have the number still right?

  224. Marmaladelady,

    Thank you for your post to this thread. Your story does seem like a mirror version of what many men go through. But I would like to focus on one of your statements, “Men want sex, women want affection.” – As a young woman, you mistook sex for being the same as affection. But – you still had sex. You may dismiss it as “just sex”, but something which can be dismissed by a woman is not the case for most men. For men – many of us found ourselves receiving hints of affection, but no sex. You say you’ve had one night stands and fuck-buddy relationships. You’re the same age as me – not only have I not had sex, I have not even kissed a woman in almost 20 years. You took it out on yourself with food, drinking, and drugs. I took it out on myself with an expensive phone sex habit. Physically, I’ve gone from being just a skinny dude to being more fit, but still have enough attributes that make me unappealing to women – from thick glasses, living with family, not much money.

    I actually knew a woman in college much like you. She was attractive, sought after by many men, including me. She took full advantage of that attention, including from a fair number of alphas. She never had sex with me though. But, those men would not stick around. She let herself go – gained a lot of weight. We lost touch a long time ago, but I’ve learned that she only recently got engaged. I wonder how her fiancé would react if he knew how she looked back then, and how she behaved then. I would imagine he would say, “The past is past, I didn’t know her then.” But, there would be a small part of him that would always wonder, “How come those guys got her when she was young and attractive, and I’m marrying her when she’s past her prime?”

    In the past, most 80% men would not object to marrying a woman from the 80% – because they both lacked experience and had less baggage. Now – a woman from the 80% may have had a series of fuck buddy relationships, kids, debts, messed up credit. You’re not just asking a man to be a partner, you’re asking him to repair your life. Even an ordinary guy like me, with few options, does not want to deal with that. And if a guy like me can keep myself in decent shape, I expect no less from the 80% woman. That is not being unrealistic.


  225. Bro, you know how many hoes wanted to fuck elliot rodgers brains out (or back in, as the case may be), after he killed people? Tons of girls wanted him.
    The florida shooter, the denmark muslim killer Breivek, all of them are getting hordes of women wanting their dicks.
    Seriously. Become the worst human being on earth but get famous for it, and you’ll be the target of MUCH sex.
    Don’t be evil, and incels can stay ignored in the corner. I mean, if this isn’t a blackpill about how fucked up female desires are, I don’t know what is.

  226. @wefwef

    It’s only crazy, fucked up, and mentally broken women who have desires like that. No sane or empathetic woman would ever want to have any type of sex or show intimate vulnerability to such monsters. Not only is that just utterly disgusting, but it’s a very good way to get yourself killed/abused as well.

  227. Im 25 incel and that college kid you mentioned above. Got here from trp sub, the rp handbook first page is this post . Grateful to all the fathers I never had to learn masculinity from.

  228. Attitudes towards sex once again came into public debate in, of all places, a Supreme Court nomination. Brett Kavanaugh was accused by a woman of assault when he was a teenager. I should say upfront, I was not a fan of Kavanaugh – looked like another barely grown up frat boy who had life paved out for him. I was also suspicious of how he could have $200,000 in credit card debt (he said for baseball tickets), and suddenly it gets paid off. BTW – if a guy pulling six figures in a secure federal judgeship can have $200,000 credit card debt, that put my own issues with debt in some perspective.

    Got off track – anyway, my first impulse when the news came out was to think, “Really, you’re going to go all the way back to high school to try and keep him from getting a job in his 50s” But, when Dr. Ford gave her testimony – it was more than just a teen making crude jokes or snapping a bra. In all my failed interactions with women, I have never pinned one down, covering her mouth. But, Kavanaugh cried like a bitch later that week, and got the job.

    Kavanaugh also stated in an interview on Fox that he graduated high school and spent a number of years after as a virgin. The reaction? For those who thought he was lying – disbelief. Others who did not like him, but thought it might be true? Ridicule. You have grown adults going on TV asking how can an American male teen graduate high school with his virginity intact? Uh, hello – I actually knew plenty. We didn’t advertise it, and hoped we could get rid of it once we headed off to college. I was not so lucky.

    Of course, if you’re a quiet, nice-guy, who did not do what Kavanaugh was accused of doing – keep your mouth shut. If you try chatting up a girl, and it only dawns on her years later you were crude, it may come back to bite you. If you and she do engage in youthful clumsy sex, she reserves the right to bring it up later. MOst men do not rape, but can all men be 100% sure they never made a woman feel “uncomfortable” ever in their lives?

    Recently, when I think of still being a virgin, I don’t think of just the number of years that have gone by. Sometime, I also think about the number of times of missed intercourse. Say an old-fashioned couple got married young – 22, and still had misgivings about sex, and limited themselves to twice a week. That’s 104 times a year. And let’s say the couple does not cheat – it’s just each other, and the sex can range from good to bad. After awhile, they would not pay attention to the number of times they’ve had sex, but they may pay attention to when they go a long time without – say after a baby is born, or relatives are visiting.

    This is long-winded way of saying that even if I ever do have sex – I will be so far behind others in my age group. As much as I would like to think I could just focus on the hear and now, I can’t. My social circle is fairly fixed, and I do not venture out much, even on weekends when I do have time to myself.

    As Halloween approaches, and social media gets bombarded with images of women dressing up in “sexy” outfits, just know that you betas are to do no more thank click “like”.

  229. The current issue of The Atlantic does a story on “The Sex Recession” – that young people are having less sex than previous generations did at the same age. I read it with an open mind, and it does make some very good points – that people can now socialize without meeting each other, which makes sex less likely. Also, the easy availability of porn and vibrators make people less likely to go out to meet someone. I would not dismiss that out of hand. If a guy heads out, and sees some pretty beat up women, yeah, he may opt to just log on to porn instead. If a woman does not see any man to her liking on one night out, she can still take care of herself when she gets back home.

    Where the article stumbles – for one, it does not break down sexlessness by demographic – ethnicity, urban vs rural, education and income level. Most social science studies do that, to try and determine if some groups are being effected more than others. It does hint that the problem effects men more than women, but does not delve too deeply into it (surprise).

    Some quotes jumped out at me, ” The authors of a 2009 study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine speculated that “if a man or woman has not had intercourse by age 25, there is a reasonable chance [he or she] will remain a virgin at least until age 45.” Yup.

    The only time the word “incel” appears is in relation to men, and it’s dismissive, “Their grievances, which are illegitimate and vile, offer a timely reminder that isolated young people are vulnerable to extremism of every sort.” The author, a woman, never bother to list either what the grievances are or what is vile about the unstated grievances. Of course, when people critique feminism, they are expected to list their issues – and the responsible ones do so.

    The article focuses most of its attention on women – young women who do not know how to interact with men outside of Tinder, and older women who do not draw attention from any men. Little attention is paid to young men or older men. As with most such discussions, their problems are easier to ignore – they don’t become cover stories.

    If anyone wants to read it, here it is:


  230. […] are chaste Christian men practicing abstinence, or secular men who are forced into the life of an Incel, or married men whose wives are denying them their conjugal rights, are suffering serious health […]

  231. Recently had my 46th birthday. About one month before that, I had some severe back pain, which required multiple doctors’ visits and several weeks of physical therapy. Thankfully, it did not require surgery. Also on the plus side, I have pretty good insurance and my financial situation is much better – in that I could cover co-pays and portions of bills such as MRIs and X-Rays without sweating about it. It’s been a long time since I had that sort of security.

    Of course, that I got the back pain all of a sudden just reminded me that I am middle aged. And yes, still a virgin. Both my pain specialist and my physical therapist were women who were probably 10 or more years younger than me. As they ran my hands on my body, clothed and unclothed, I could not help but think that was the most physical contact I had with a non-relative female in years. That tells you how bad the situation is when you can easily recall the number of such instances.

    So, on my actual birthday, one of my cousins invited me to her place for dinner. I had to cancel, cause at that time I still was having issues driving for more than 30 minutes. My aunt & uncle were out of the country, so I had the house to myself, and I took off from work that day. Aside from phone calls, I was alone on my birthday. I was OK with that, although a part of me was annoyed that I was OK with it.

    In the media, the news that people are having less sex – or more accurately, a subset of people, disproportionately men, are having far less sex than similarly situated men generations ago – is starting to go mainstream. Of course, one cannot just report the news, it is necessary to spin it. As you can expect, there is no discussion if maybe, just maybe, female hypergamy might be leaving some men in the cold. Coupled with the resulting population of single mothers and their baggage. Such conditions make it tougher on working class men with just a high school diploma to find a partner they can support.

    There is some (grudging) acknowledgement that #MeToo has had an effect on some men – regular men might be scared to approach a woman. Plus the horror stories of false rape accusations in college, where defendants seem to have fewer legal protections, add to the problem.

    Of course, some MGTOW may believe that given all these headaches, it’s not worth it. I’ve seen too many men berated by their wives to dismiss that.

    This article was far more informative than similar article in the same magazine a couple of months ago.

    Just remember – there is far more public sympathy for women who go without sex than there is men.

  232. Thank you for your contribution

  233. The phenomenon of sexlessness made it into the pages of The Economist. And if you guessed that the thrust of the article (no pun intended) is they blamed young men for this situation, you’d be right. In this case, the focus seems to be sex on college campus. I’m old enough to remember when some single-sex campuses went co-ed, and there was a concern it just be all sex, with little studying.

    Of course, that didn’t happen. Colleges, particularly the elite selective type that give rise to future subscribers of The Economist, do actually focus on their studies and their future career. Shocking to some, but that was my case in the early to mid 90s. Sure, I tried to date, but I still had classes, homework, and a part-time job to deal with, and if I was not having luck with women, well, it’ll just get better later, right? Right?

    The article also floats the idea that social changes brought about by feminism made some men uncomfortable. But as M3’s initial post made clear – it was the intentional lying that made men not just uncomfortable, but miserable. For those men not alpha enough for the attractive women, or even the regular plain women who were holding out for the “right” guy – it was a nightmare. For collegiate men now, where you have tribunals charging men with “misconduct” and no civil protections – it’s safer to stay in your room, play video games, masturbate, and go to sleep.

    It is an acrobatic argument to note that on those campuses where women are taking an increasing role in science, medicine, and law – that they will not take the lead in matters of courtship. Indeed, the old rules apply – men will pursue, but if unappealing men pursue, that is grounds for a visit to an administrator’s office.

    Anyway, if you want to read the article, here is a link:


  234. Is it possible to interact with a woman that can make you think you’re finally getting out of your rut, and reinforce your opinions on female nature at the same time? Yes. It happened to me over the Fourth of July weekend.

    Took a trip out of town, down South. First trip in my life when I flew by myself to vacation by myself. Previous solo trips were by car. On the Fourth of July – went to dinner, sat at a bar next to a young woman, and we got to talking. She was quite charming, cute, and she was signalling she wanted to spend more time (I know – that doesn’t automatically mean sex). She was 31, I told her I was 46.
    After dinner, we head down to where the fireworks would be held, but headed to a bar before that, then back to the fireworks show. All the while, she kept saying she wanted to go dancing. Out of my comfort zone, but why not?

    She tells me I need to change my shirt. We were in front of my hotel, and I invite her up. She says sure. Again, I know that does not mean anything more. She comes into my room, steps into the bathroom, while I start to put on a new shirt, which she picked out of my suitcase. She comes out, looks at me, says that’s much better, but she doesn’t like the fact that the shirt was tucked in.

    She doesn’t move or look away. So, acting like I’ve done this before, I start to undo my zipper in front of her. She walks over to me, puts her hands into my pants, rubs her hands on me (not my crotch) for a few seconds, and pulls out my shirt tails. Now she is impatient to go dancing.

    We go to a club she picked out. We were there for 90 minutes – it was fine, a little too much Dirty South style rap for my taste, but hey, when in Rome. She got sick of the music, and we left.

    We walked around town a bit more, until we could find the garage she parked in. Her hotel was outside of the city – I was in the heart of the tourist area. Again, I did not think she would sleep with a guy she met just a few hours before, so I was happy with how the night went, with the promise of more time together over the four day weekend.

    Well, that didn’t happen. I had a walking history tour the next morning, and she said she would try to join me, but she ran late. Anyway, after the tour, I dd not hear from her. I sent one text Friday night asking how her day was. I did not hear back from her until Saturday morning. I got back to my room after my Saturday morning swim (still trying to keep a semblance of healthy living), and saw a text from her. During her day on Friday, she came across a bunch of other people she hung out with, and was going to be driving back home Saturday (six hour drive).

    Once again, when a better, cooler option for a woman’s social status was available, she took it. I was fine to avoid being alone one night, but not in a group. She said if she’s ever in my part of the country, she’ll text me. Note – there was no such suggestion I should do the same if I ever am in her part of the country.

    In her text, she included two identical emojis – nerdy guy with thick glasses.

    Am I glad that I drew the attention of an attractive women 15 years my junior? Yes. I am also glad that she was forward enough to come up to me, and reach into my pants (again, she met me 2 hours earlier), and believe I would not freak out, and trusted me enough that I would not push her into anything she was not ready for.

    But at the end of the four day weekend, I still was a bit bummed. Maybe we might have slept together at some point before she headed back, maybe not. But, she took it upon herself to make that decision for both of us. I would have like to have had some say in the matter.

  235. Well, it seems to have happened again. I’ve been dealing with a woman who enjoys my attention, and wants to leave it at that. Around Christmas-time, while spending it in NY with family, I got a text from the woman I met in over the Fourth of July, the one I went dancing with, and thought I had a shot for a weekend fling. She texted to wish me a happy holiday season. She herself was in NY as well, with her parents who were visiting. So, there was no way for us to get together.

    Since Thanksgiving through New Year’s were spent with family, I did not really get to enjoy myself. So, as President’s Day approached, I made plans to head to Florida. While that is where this woman lives, I made sure not to go to her part of the state. 1 – there is not much to do there, as it is residential. It would look like I came just to see her. Instead, I stayed closer to Ft. Lauderdale, which was further away, but had a better selection of hotels and more dining options.

    However, I did text her to say that if she wanted to get together for dinner, she should let me know. She let me know that where I was staying was an hour and a half drive from her place. I told her no pressure. Later, she told me that she was working that weekend (she is a nurse). So, I got my answer.

    When I got to my hotel, I did take a picture of the view from my balcony, letting her know she was missing out on a nice view. But I did not hear back from her until I returned to Chicago, when she asked if I had a nice trip.

    TBH, the trip was fine. The weather could have been less rainy, but the beach was terrific. I could not remember the last time I was on a beach, and I had not been to Florida in 28 years. While there were plenty of old people, and families, there would occasionally be a woman who looked like she stepped out of a swimsuit catalog. Damn!

    As for being brushed off, I was prepared for that. At my age, you have to be prepared. I turn 47 next month. I have not kissed a woman on the lips since 1999. All I have to look forward to is taking care of elderly relatives, and sometimes, babysitting the kids of my cousins, who have actual lives and careers. In fact, my uncle has already given me a heads up for this summer – his daughter and son in law want to take a few days off for their 20th anniversary, and would like to drop their kids off. Since my uncle cannot take care of both my aunt (the one with the history of strokes) plus kids, he wants to make sure I will be around.

    I was at that wedding. It was a fun time. 20 years are gone, just like the snap of one’s fingers. But I do see some improvements. My money situation is better (I had to borrow money from my brother that year). Phone sex is less of an issue, and I am largely invisible to women.

    While driving today, I heard a pianist I enjoy listening to will be performing on my birthday. I may try to get a ticket. I will only need one.

  236. i`m 67 so i`m an incel……too late to change……I got nothing to give,i live on ssi so yeah ,never got any breaking my door down all these years……I don`t care anymore….these women are not the ones in my generation…….sluts most are ,cheat on you like no tomorrow…….stay single guys.

  237. True. I haven’t had my hand mouth or penis touched by a women since powerful community media members labeled me a pedophile and I was publicly fired for the allegations. The bogus allegations can at a time when the public was being bombarded by fake pedophile news like Sandusky. I lost 100s of social media contacts and around 85k in documented personal side business annual revenue. I have not been charged or ticketed with anything. Amazing how small a world we live in. I have been trying to get my mouth and penis kissed since 2012 usually only to called names. Many women are eager to show me their next new boyfriend. Even in the pandemic, some of my guy friends have already gotten free blow jobs by normal healthy women. Today, after years of not being touched once, only medically mocked, I have decided to abandon my family and religion. After year 7, I’ve been making my celibate mother who’s 2nd husband recently died look like a clown. I’m also going after her 4 year old bastard niece. That little dickless can scream in anger as I publicly insult her. You all need a reason not to touch someone for more than 8 years, I’m giving you one. Let’s see you stop me. Your police are trash. Planned suicides can expose toxic medical criminals and to Immediately erase a life of sexual medical abuse. Ask everyone as I am now vocal, Even when my parents die, I will not be turning to a therapist for help. It might be hard skipping their funerals, but sometimes we have to expose medical malpractice.

  238. Since my last entry, COVID-19 has completely changed everything – to an extent. Thankfully, I still have a job. Since it is a small office, I continued going into work, while my co-workers worked from home for most of the spring. Because of the new setup, this affected when I could get into trouble making phone sex calls.

    Since my uncle could not do any work-related travel, that means he and my aunt were home all the time, with a few exceptions. So, I could not really make any calls from home, since there was no time. There was a period while I was making calls from the office after work hours, trying to find someone good. Most times, there was no one.

    So, since I was making few or sometime no calls for weeks at a time, I pretty much wiped out my debt. My savings are quite substantial now.

    Now – since I do not even have the house to myself on those evenings my uncle is out of town and my aunt heads up to bed, I do not really get to relax the way I normally would like to – watching some TV, uninterrupted, with a drink in hand.

    So – Labor Day weekend, my aunt and uncle head up to their vacation home which is about 1 hour, 15 minutes away. I had the house to myself. Watched some movies, did some reading, exercised (can’t get to the gym thanks to COVID). My cousins wondered why I didn’t join them.

    Honestly? I can only handle being around that many people for several hours, not multi-day stays. If I am bored at home by myself is one thing, being bored in the company of others is far worse.

    Since I am using phone sex less and less, without that female component, I gotta say my interest in sex in general is less and less too. I say that with some degree of relief and sadness at the same time. Relief because a young man’s pursuit of sex can lead him to make bad decisions, and for me, those were costly. But it is also sad because that pursuit never resulted in any actual sex.

    When I was young, I was focused on money and material items. If stayed focused on that, instead of trying to be a nice guy to women – I would have at least had a career or money.

    Instead, I’m at a place in my life that is more appropriate for a guy in his mid twenties.

    Yes – many are worse off than me. The pandemic and recession have left some people in dire straits. I would not change places with them. But – through good times or bad, one thing has stayed the same. I am always alone.

  239. Thank you for this.

  240. I will turn 48 this month. The age does not seem like much of a milestone, but it actually is, but not for good reasons. As I’ve mentioned before, I had very protective parents, who did not allow dating while I was still in high school. So, realistically, I would not have sex before I headed off to college in the fall of 1991 – which would be 30 years ago. That was certainly the plan – head off to one of the nation’s top colleges, meet new people, take classes that would challenge me, and then be set in a career that offered more challenges plus a good income.

    But – that did not happen. I studied hard, graduated with honors – and had no job or girlfriend when it was all over. I was constantly friend-zoned or rejected. At least the job rejections were direct, if they ever bothered to respond at all.

    What happened in those 30 years? Dead end jobs, a bad phone sex habit which put me deeply into debt, pursued an MBA which put me into more debt, only to graduate and do the same job I was doing before.

    30 years of no sex. The debt is gone – both the student loans and the credit card debt due to the phone sex. I now have sizable savings and a nice new car. But, hanging over me is the understanding that I have to look after which ever parent outlives the other. I’ve had practice – I’ve been taking care of my aunt, who has been in shaky health for the past five years, due to strokes.

    I used to relax in front of the TV with a drink while my uncle travelled on business. Coronavirus put an end to that. He’s not a bad guy – we regularly drink a glass of wine together every night now, although it was 2 glasses a night during election season. But, not having just a few hours to myself reminds me of my stunted development.

    My brother’s daughter will be heading off to college in the fall. As a young woman, she will have to deal with the challenge of finding the right guy – but it is likely she will have sex before I do. How pathetic is that? Someone who was not even born when I should have been having sex will likely become an adult before I do.

    Invisible, undesirable, unattractive – use any term you want. But an activity which evolution has determined will be the route for reproduction, and, if you want to get corny about it, an activity where two people demonstrate they care for each other – is off limits to me.

    30 years.

  241. Ted, I’ve been following your story since I found out about this post 4 years ago. I sympathize with you but I don’t know what to suggest. Sexual liberation was apparently a mistake. It deprived kind and responsible people like you of sex and intimacy. If I may ask, what are your political views? Or you don’t even care any more?

  242. Why do you think “sexual liberation” caused Ted to not have sex? Liberation of who? If anything, sex needs to become more liberated, in that the USA needs to legalize sex work (including health and safety protocols for the women/men in that line of work) so that people like him can easily obtain what he wants.

  243. Someone,

    In my younger years – when my politics wasn’t tested by reality yet, I’d say I was influenced by Reagan-era Republicanism. I’m independent now. My views on matters such as law and order, the economy, the military, the environment, education can vary. You cannot just say “We should do what we did 40 years ago” to address problems.

    It doesn’t have much to do with women and sex though. I still believe that a woman should not feel pressured to have sex or a relationship with someone.

    But, I am more protective of my time. I don’t pursue anymore because half my life is over. All that is realistically out there is a bunch of post-wall women who are past their prime and saddled with kids and money problems. Took my long enough to get my own money problems resolved – I am not about to help someone in exchange for a little sex.


  244. Well seems like I (and the entire sane population of the world) were fully correct to believe that incels are deeply mentally diseased lost cause terrorist freaks with no attachment to facts. Just looking at the same terrorism and hate speech and blaming everyone from women to society for your mental diseases and cowardice and meaning malevolence and harm for all other living beings and severe detachment of facts and reality and promotion of terrorism and abuse and felonies and slavery, all are right there. Lol, glad the police forces now have incels on their terrorist watch lists. 🙂 You incels are the exact same as Taliban and ISIS, you incels are batcray cray while those incels use religion as coverup. Just wastes that bother other living beings and burden the world.

  245. Women don’t owe you sex. No one does. NO ONE OWES YOU LUNATIC INCELS ANYTHING. It’s you and your parents that owe the entire world massive apologies for having polluted and terrorized and darkened the world with your cancerous terrorist hateful bitter schizophrenic futile narcissistic existence. Women don’t owe anyone s***! The world owes women a world of apology and compensation for misogynist incels like you bothering them. You incels are so mentally disabled that can’t even use normal language! You have to make up your own words that hold no meanings! And sex is not a basic need, it’s what happens when everything is right! Everything right meaning when a couple love one another and are fit enough mentally and physically to want to have kids together. When people can see how mentally messed up and what massive terrorist freak revolting repulsivetrippy deluded narcissists you incels are and even the most desperate of gay men won’t want to touch you even with a long pole, you are by no means ready or ever fit enough to get to have kids and thank god for that! Incels are mentally disabled men always (as very easily visible in the comment section) with more than multiple mental diseases that cannot be cured since they’re born with them. A freak like that should never get to give their DNA to any other living being. You incels are virtually all that’s wrong with this world and the main reason why now the entire world loathes men and want men killed and gone! How severe your hallucinations are for you to fail to realize that THE PROBLEM IS YOU AND YOUR CANCEROUS HARMFUL EXISTENCE WITH YOUR MESSED UP HEADS AND INTENTIONS, probably only god knows! Your parents owe the world for having thrown you in it! They should have either done the test to realize their son is mentally sick and aborted you or at least admitted how messed up and diseased you all are and locked you all up in a padded room in straightjackets in a mental asylum for life to at least make sure the world wouldn’t have to see your ugly faces and much uglier diseased heads and revolting messed up cowardly thoughts and delusions. From now on each time you even catch yourself thinking about anyone else but yourself badly, remind yourself (even when your hallucinations and narcissistic delusions are not letting you realize this yourselves) over and over that it’s YOU that’s wrong with this world not anyone else. It’s YOU who’s a bother to all not women not men who are mentally sane and involved healthily and respectfully with women not society and not anyone else. NO ONE OWES YOU SH**. YOU OWE THE WORLD. THE WORLD IS FED UP AND ENRAGED FROM YOUR DISEASED UGLY TINY HEADS AND PATHETIC MISOGYNY AND MISERABLE TRIPPING AND BS AND WILL NO LONGER TOLERATE YOUR NARCISSISTIC CLAIMS THAT ANYONE OWE YOU CRAP AND WILL BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO STOP YOU IF YOU CONTINUE YOUR CANCEROUS THOUGHTS OF TERRORISM. INCELS ARE PATHETIC LUNATIC TERRORISTS THAT SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN BORN AND DO NOT EVEN DESERVE TO BE ALIVE. PERIOD. Glad to see the world finally waking up and treating you like the miserable pathetic narcissistic lunatic terrorists that you are. Incels are also LGBT-hating in-denial gays or else they wouldn’t be so obssessed with male genitalia all their diseased lives. F off pathetic terrorist misogynist lunatic incels! You don’t deserve to be in this world! Sincerely, the world!

  246. You sound like wimpy fagot. Odds are you are white. Every stud around here is banging younger and older women. Normal women in our town will have nothing to do with queer fagots like your type.

  247. For 12 years? Dude, you are a strait up fagged queer. You will never get those abused years back again. Sounds like police medical lawyers gayed your life and ended reproduction of your genes off the face of the planet forever. Wonder which authorities did this to you. Bugetary purpuses, were you accused of some crime or receive some bogus medical diagnosis? US authorities will use the smallest excuse to destroy an innocent life in a heartbeat. Dont worry, you wierdo INCEL end up enjoying elderly sex, which is white male culture.

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