On CheatingOctober 23, 2012
Super quick post.
Here’s a Shine article called 12 Surprising Facts About Cheating [link]
I’m only going to address a few of these very quickly and let you guys ponder the rest. Let me say that i do not endorse cheating in any way shape or form, it’s for cowards. End it and move on.
Having said that.. let me tackle a few of these 12 points.
Fact #1: Most men are still in love with their wives when they cheat.
Who knew? Doug1 was right when he long made the contention on HUS that when a man seeks out another woman, he can still be in love with the wife/s.o. and is just having sex for the sake of sex (slaking lust), not for emotional bonding, partnership, intimacy or pair bonding of any kind. Women are unable to do so. When a woman cheats, she is firmly DONE with the husband, in her mind, heart and soul. Push casual sex while single aside for a moment, when a woman has sex outside of her committed relationship with a man, that poor shlep will NEVER be number #1 in her eyes ever again. She may even still have some feelings for him, but it is doomed from that moment onward.
My friend who consoled me after my marriage ended told me:
“Men have many rooms in their heart which can be occupied by many women at the same time, but only one gets to live in the penthouse with you. Women only have 1 room in their heart, and if they find someone else to occupy it, your shit is out in the streets and you are never getting back in.“
This corroborates all my anecdotal experiences.
Next we have a 3 part answer to one question really..
Fact #7: A wife often knows her husband’s cheating.
Fact #8: A couple will never work it out when the husband is in the midst of an affair.
Fact #9: Affairs can often fix a marriage.
This one should be self evident to anyone who lives in the sphere AND understand that this only applies to ALPHA men. Do you think any of these ‘facts’ would be raised if the man were a beta shmuck? Hell no. If poor lonely Beta getting sex only once a year accidentally found game or actually hit it off enough with someone to have an affair with, none of this would apply. He’d be served divorce papers faster than the Flash. A wife will only know of her husbands cheating (and tolerate it) if he is supremely alpha and she can accept the harem. They will never work it out whilst he is having the affair, but she is the one who will actively try and ‘make it work’. And an affair can ONLY fix a marriage if the man has options to leave and has used the affair as as the ultimate dread “look what i can do” tactic to keep a woman in line.
If he was beta, he’d be reading a notice on the front door with the locks changed to his house and a warrant out for his arrest for ‘abuse’.
Fact #12: The wife’s not to blame if her husband cheats on her.
Very true. As i said i don’t approve of cheating and would rather honesty prevail. Just terminate the relationship and move on. However, this one holds a key phrase in here that reminds me very much of what Dalrock has been musing about often as of late. Here’s the passage:
“Realize this: If your husband is unfaithful, it’s not your fault, no matter what people say. “When a man cheats, he’s making a conscious choice to do it,” says Dr. Brosh. “The idea of being pushed into the arms of another woman is an expression, not a reality.“
The next time i read about a poor Christian (or secular) woman being ‘driven’ into the arms of another man for him failing to live up to some romantasized unrealistic and unreachable romcom romance drama flaming heart-throb sweep her off her feet continual courtship dancing former carousel riding saved slut cum wife…
… shoot me.