Dating Profile Catastrophe of the Week

September 7, 2012

Brace for impact

Following hot on the heels of my last post i thought i’d create a weekly feature, and will continue until i can no longer stomach it.

This weekly feature will bring to you and IMMORTALIZE for all time the very best of the best of the WORST that Dating 2.0 has to offer.

Let’s meet this weeks offender.


Now before i begin, let me clearly state that i am extremely sensitive to the nature of cancer, as my family had endured it through the loss of my brother. This is in NO WAY an attack upon the person having endured cancer and undergone treatment. More power to her to successfully beat the menace. I fully wish her the best in killing that dreaded disease.


With that prologue out of the way, i’d like you all to view this first and foremost as a form of Chemotherapy to kill another nasty scourge from her system. Chemo into the heart of her hamster. To kill it and stop it in it’s tracks, in the hopes that once her hamster dies.. she may actually find someone who might help be the chicken soup for her soul as she battles the physical battle. Her hamster needs to die. This post is the radiation. I only hope the dosage is sufficient!

What’s in a name?

Well in this case, everything. It gives up the goose and tells the whole story right on the cover of the book. To my gentle reader, let me introduce you to:


Tagline: U think u have it in u to sweep me off of my feet

[we haven’t even started reading the profile and already we can see princess mentality. it’s your job dear reader to set her hamster afire and win fair maidens heart in a Disneyesque fantasy. be prepared my fellow utility.. for it is SHE, not you that is the prize in question]

About Non-Smoker with Athletic body type City Owen Sound Ontario
Details 40 year old Woman, 5′ 2″ (157 cm), Non-Religious Ethnicity Caucasian Sagittarius with Brown hair
Intent tired_of_the_games_39 is looking for a relationship. Education Some college

The tale of the tape:

  • She keeps fit and doesn’t smoke +2
  • She lives in rural Ontario, not the cesspool megacity of Toronto +1
  • She is 10 years over the wall -10
  • Caucasian -irrelevant
  • She is looking for a ‘relationship’ -meaningless
  • Some college / probability of low debt load +1

Priliminary Score = -6

I am Seeking a Man For Long term
Needs Test Not Completed Chemistry View her chemistry results
Do you drink? Socially Do you want children? Prefer Not To Say
Marital Status Single Do you do drugs? No
Pets Dog Eye Color Green
Profession waitress Do you have children? Yes
Do you have a car? Yes Longest Relationship Over 10 years


beach camping hiking
gym billards gardening
family time cooking


Hi there, I guess I need to change some things on here and there is a reason to do so….june 7th i got the worst news that ppl dread to hear….I had breast cancer, on June 29th of this year I had a lumpectomy done and they removed all of my lymph nodes….and the bad luck keeps happening to me….today August 8th 2011 I started AGGRESSIVE chemo and Im not gonna lie…I am soooo scared….but I am a fighter and I have a very long fight ahead of me…at first i was looking to meet my soul mate but now things have changed with me and all I am looking for at this time is a friend…someone who will lend their shoulder for me to cry on….an ear to listen to me when Im down and someone who will go out of their way everyday to make me smile or laugh and tell me that everything is gonna be ok…for anyone who cares I am stage 3 and grade 3 so I dont think its fair to bring someone into all of this and put them through what im about to go threw…..i just cant do that to someone….but once I am done fighting this and beat this cancer im sure i will be an even stronger person than I already am and then I will be all for dating someone…..it does suck to fight this alone but I have always been independant and I know I can do this….

Im a single mother of three beautiful girls. I have used this site before and thought I would try it again. I am sooooo tired of the games that ppl play out there. I am looking for my soul mate, someone that I can grow old with and spend the rest of my life with…. I am a very easy person to get along with and I am fun, loving, honest and caring and I have alot to give someone...I did date someone from this site recently but things didnt work out so now I am back for another try.. Im only looking for serious ppl who want to meet, and someone who isnt just out for a game… ppl get hurt that way… I dont look my age and all I can say is send me an email I promise you, you will find that I am very easy to talk to..

Also if your just looking for sex, then please keep looking, Im done with one night stands and looking for more now…I truely am looking for my best friend, someone to spend time with and do things together… looking to meet someone outgoing and isnt afraid to speak up and say what is on their mind…I have alot to offer the right one…. is that you?

Well November 29th/11 i just finished my last chemo treatment and feeling good. now i recover for a mth than onto the 2nd phaze of this battle

Jan 3rd 2012 I started my radiation treatments in London. Go down for the week for 6 weeks and come home on weekends. Cant wait till this is all over and I can put this behind me and get on with my life.

So now I finished my last treatment of radiation on Feb 15th 2012. I had one hell of a fight throughout everything and now Im healing and ready to get my life back. Also looking to see what might be able to happen on here. So excited

What I am looking for in a person is:
someone who works
someone who isnt a drunk and only drinks every so often [<—REALLY?]
someone who likes kids
someone who is caring/honest and fun
someone who likes to do things like camping, beach, hiking ect….

I love this song, almost makes me think the song was made for me

happy fishing everyone








OK.. step back.. breathe.. i know.. i felt that way too the first time i read it.

Here we have a woman who knows that she’s way over the hill in terms of starting ‘fresh’ and she comes with 3 wonderful bundles that may or may not have the same father? Her profile also does not stipulate that she is done having kids, preferring not to say. Double bag it boys, and guard that shit.. make sure you dispose of the domes yourself when you’re through, otherwise you might find yourself hauled off to court for regular ATM withdrawals.

And let’s not forget that you will never EVER come in first, second or even third place. Those are all occupied by her children already. You’ll be lucky if you make fourth place.. that is if she isn’t pining for her ‘5 minutes of Alpha‘ baby daddy(s). If you’re an Herb, you are definitely coming up lame in this horse race.

But you go right ahead and start sweeping underneath this princess’s feet now. 5th place will get your team an outing for ice cream!

So you lost the championship game Billy? Don’t worry, we all still get to go out for ice cream!

Don’t let the fact that she’s already dated someone else from this site and have it fail come to stop you from attempting to reel in this catch. Just because some guy came to his senses and bolted doesn’t mean that she had way too many expectations for him to fulfill and to many criteria to meet before get you down. Man up and be that Herb that locks her down to provide for her and her children.

Look buddy, don’t play her looking just for sex. Don’t play games with her. She doesn’t want to get hurt. Didn’t you hear? Single moms are exempt from getting ‘hurt’ in dating. Getting hurt is reserved for men who don’t make their partners happy 24-7 and get dumped and frivolously divorced for being to boring or for someone hawt. Getting hurt is reserved for men who deserve to be rejected 100 times for every 1 response. Getting hurt is reserved for men who are strung along to fill the emotional void left by the alpha they’re fucking who won’t bend into being turned into a girlfriend or platonic plaything. Getting hurt is reserved for men who would be asked to be chivalrous and pay for meals on first dates as a source of income, not as actual mate prospects.

The poor things been through enough. She’s tired of the games of men trying to hit it and quit it. She played that game in the past, SHE’S DONE WITH THAT. She’s let men inside without restraint in the past. But you my good sir are the lucky man that now has to WORK to perform the herculean task of wowing this princess without any expectation of instant sex that she gave up to those other guys. They didn’t mean anything. But you WILL mean everything to her, so you’re just gonna have to wait it out sucker.. err… i mean soulmate. Put your dick on the backburner boy. She’s looking for the real deal, which means you’re gonna have to court this woman for all she’s worth!

So boy, are you ready to do your civic duty, MAN UP and do the heavy lifting to woo the lady, be her platonic shoulder to cry on and be her friend, wrap yourself in cotton and string as the stoic emotional tampon you were destined to be, put your dick on ice and wait to access her her well plundered treasure chest, waterlogged booty and stretched out swag. Remember kiddies.. she still has a lot to offer! She’s offering you the chance of a lifetime. A chance to help provide for another mans seed to flourish, and perhaps have your seed taken as well to add another source of fixed income if you displease her.

She’s ready to spend the rest of her life with you. As long as you’re not a drunk.

Dear readers, i don’t condone harassment and am not asking anyone to go troll bomb her POF account. The poor thing has been through enough. However, if any of you do feel like taking it upon yourself to send her a quick note and succinctly sum up her delusional thinking process and relay it back to her in a way she can understand and LEARN, INTROSPECT and GROW UP so that she can understand what she’s done, recognize she isn’t the great catch she envisions, own up to her past ridiculous actions and move forward accepting that her options are limited in the hopes she finds someone who can help her through her ordeal while she actively works to become a better human being who can add something of value to someones life. In essence i’m wondering if there is anyone out there with a gentler acumen than your dear host. I haven’t got it in me. Maybe not so Private Man?

Does anyone out there have it in them to kill her hamster without killing the patient?



  1. Wow. What a not-catch.

    40, 3 kids, probably plenty of debt as a waitress if she went to college and hasn’t gotten any real job besides waiting tables. Add more debt to the deal with chemo treatments.

    This lady will be lucky to get any nights of greater beta or alpha sex, and is fishing for a super beta to support her. No one else would put up with what she’s asking for no/limited sex.

    Also, I don’t think anyone could sweep her off her feet. Even at her height of 5’2″, she looks pretty big. If that’s even a current pic (doubtful).

    How does POF work out for you M3? I’ve considered some online dating things, simply because my schedule makes it hard to meet women sometimes. I think some of my black and white pics could get a few hits/responses for the slew of messages I hear you have to send. Plus I know how to work the ‘auto click’ game for any of them that show women “This person clicked on your profile, go click on theirs!”

    Just set that up to run overnight, walk away to sleep, and get a couple messages you can filter. No effort involved.

  2. I treat POF like a joke and a social experiment. Tried multiple profiles from sincere longtermer to vague happy free spirit to cocky aloof mystery. I get a lot of views, especially since i put up my shirtless pics (go figure) but i think they’re just window shopping. I get views from lots of girls who specifically say things in their profiles that don’t match me but none ever actually contact me. I have had a rash of ‘interest’ notifications as of late, but no real messages. And for every decent hottie i get five beasts.

    I’ve done the ‘meet me’ routine manually, no autoclick. Doesn’t really help much. And i am really starting to believe at least 50% of the profiles are ‘ghost’ profiles. You can tell by how they’re written that they don’t exist or look too good to be true or just have that 1 glam photo.

    Here’s my conundrum and it’s twofold.

    1. As i’ve said.. this city is lame. The women here are colder than the surface of Pluto. My theory is they don’t even really use POF for the service, they use it to prop up their ego. Unless Brad Pitt emails them, they just relish in hitting next through 500 messages before heading out for a night on the town to get pussy beggars to by them overpriced drinks in the downtown core. They’re too busy having fun in the 20’s to really care about any of the bullshit they write in their profiles. It’s once you hit the profiles of women in their 30+ where you hear them talk about settling down and done with the club scene, but by then, they’re still bombarded, think they’re all that. And that’s the ugly ones.. which takes me to point number..

    2. Since i’ve put my body into shape and raised my SMV, i’ve become much more picky than i would have been 3 years ago. Because of that, i’m only going after the quality longshots. This has the added effect of reducing my chances because now i’m up against the hawtest of the hot guys and these ladies have choice overload. And with these women, you have no margin for error. I’m sure i could get girls 1 or 2 points below me, but fuck.. that feels like moving backwards. I’m not desperate for average. I want that arm candy to match my physique. I work hard for it, i’m not gonna give some entitled little muffintop access to my sexual prowess. Tho the danger is, especially in this city.. am i pricing myself out by aiming too high?

    I think i’m going to change my profile location to burroughs on the outskirts of Toronto and see what happens. Maybe the more country based girls will jump all over it. In the meantime i’m still practicing flirting with women in real life settings but day game really rattles me, specially when i fuck up by overthinking too much. My brain shuts down with ‘idiot idiot idiot’. I’m not quick enough to recover well. With time…

  3. What strikes me as the worst thing about her profile is that she put it out there when she is fighting cancer. WTF? Does she really think that some strange man, who has zero history with her, is going to say to himself, “Wow, can’t wait to help her through chemo and radiation!”

    I really didn’t realize just how ignorant women are about men until I started blogging. It’s astonishing.

    And this is her tagline: U think u have it in u to sweep me off of my feet. The burden is all on him to impress her.

  4. Gotcha.

    As for the pricing yourself thing…. What it comes down to for me is having a good time. I really don’t care what’s going on with a woman as long as I’m having fun. I’ll flirt with women I’d never have a chance with because its fun. A lot of times I’ll crash if I shoot too high, but meh. The same for people below me too. I won’t hide that sometimes I’ll shoot a couple points below my rank physically if she’s able to both keep my mind occupied and be feminine. I wouldn’t date one, but I’ve taken home a few women that fit that bill. They’re fun for a night, and because I don’t care about them or their opinions after the nights over I usually experiment sexually with them and see how far they’ll go. For instance my first time choking was with such a woman, and I loved it. It’s now something I always do.

    I’ve learned the few sexual boundaries I have with such women, but more importantly I’ve learned where I don’t have them.

    And, in the end, I have some good stories and no regrets.

  5. Typical. Another girl who wants the long-term comfort benefits of Mr Beta without having earned it, instead tossing away sunk costs on cheap thrills that didn’t stick around.

  6. LOL, I know, and what guy does she think is going to plough through that sad, near-book she wrote? She needs to get a clue…

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