So you think getting dressed for sex is a chore do you?June 20, 2012
A few months ago Rollo put up a funny post about wife porn, but it was mainly the image that caught my eye. Needless to say it brought up some memories. Further still it is readily apparent that it is quite a common mindset amongst many of the women i’ve talked to who were/are in relationships. Without further ado.
Look at that photo and take it all in. Pretty horrible message right?
Now a long time ago I was asked by someone why i would want to watch porn, when i could rather have a living breathing female partner next to me, such as my wife. Well this is quite a stupid statement. Of course i’d rather have the real person over the images on the ‘boob tube’. But you have to remember, arousal isn’t about proximity to a body (unless you’re desperate and it’s been a while), it’s about the presentation. It’s the difference between going to bed with her:
Hand me the remote and the tissues please.
I remember being told in no uncertain terms one night by my partner that she felt like it was a chore to have to get dressed up and look good just so that i would want to have sex with her. She told me she didn’t feel pretty naked and that she would come to resent me for always having to put on stockings or heels or whatnot just so that i would want to thrash her puddy with my tongue before giving her the hour long marathon drilling that ended only because she got too sensitive from multiple orgasms.
First of all ill address the last part which is patently false. I have no issue getting up for the business when you’re completely naked beside me. I also never made the claim that she MUST do it, I only told her that i enjoyed it when she did put on something sexy and fixed up her makeup and put on some bouncy earings and strappy heels when coming to bed. I told her because this is what visually stimulates me and arouses me and makes me happy. You now have that knowledge and will CHOOSE whether or not you want to put in the effort to make me happy. If she only feels like getting dolled and sexy for me once a year, she’s obviously not that interested in trying to please me.
[This whole argument could be applied to blowjobs as well and about how women in porn are enthusiastic and enjoy performing fellatio on their guys, but im not gonna go there. For now.]
WHAT’S IN A CHORE?
It would be no different than me saying that having me do ‘my chores‘ that she required of me would make me come to resent her. Oh, home needs to be repainted? I’m going to resent you for making me have to paint when i think the place looks fine. Need me to install the new closet organizer? I’m going to resent you because i have to do this for you instead of hitting prestige level in Call of Duty online. You want me to take our new puppy to shit outside in the middle of the night when i have to get up for work in 3 hours and you’re a stay at home career woman? I’m going to resent you for obvious fucking reasons. You want me to come with you to your parents for dinner and dress up really smartly and make sure we get there early enough to make a good impression for the next 5 hours? I’m going to resent you for all that expectational burden you just dumped on my shoulders because you didn’t bother asking me and simply assumed i would do it all because we’re a ‘couple’ and im obligated to do so. How about Valentine’s day flowers? Remembering our anniversary by booking a dinner? Holding your hand in the car? Telling you you’re beautiful? Cleaning the kitchen? Slapping your ass and telling you you’re the sexiest person on the planet?
How much shall i resent thee? Let me count the ways.
But i didn’t resent her. I just did it. I did it because i recognized a part of my role in that relationship was to do things for my partner to make her life better, more convenient, happier, and make her enjoy being around me and in so doing making her want to be around me even more and reciprocate in the appropriate need categories. ie. sex. It’s all about the barter system. PUA’s and Alphas might say this is too weak or Beta and to do fuck all, but that’s not a relationship, that’s narcissistic gamemanship. Even Athol will tell you each side has a role to play in a relationship. In my case tho, the female side of the equation wasn’t filling her role and i didn’t nip it in the butt in time. I didn’t discover Athol until way too late.
I simply cannot fathom why so many women have an inability to understand reciprocity according to the need requirements of your partner. Women and men want different things and have different expectations for how they want their interests met and needs fulfilled.
Did feminism fuck so many North American women minds up that they think they’re being objectified by the big bad patriarchy and some other kind of nonsense bullshit by playing the part of a hot female in the sack? What gives? European women are world renowned for dressing up to the tits just to go grocery shopping and they LOVE wearing their clothes to bed. (at least thats what european porn has taught me) but dare i say i don’t think it’s that far off from the truth. Women in other cultures seem to know what is intrinsically sensual and what a man desires. Once they come to the Amerika’s (or are born here) all sense of femininity seems to go the way of the Dodo.
WHAT A MAN DESIRES
I didn’t need my ex to show her love for me by building me a coffee table. I wanted her to show me that she enjoys pea-cocking herself to become the most ultimate and sexually desirable woman i could feast my eyes on. Not only did this have the benefit of making me remember these encounters so that when even a tight 18yr old would walk by i wouldn’t even bat an eyelash (this is straight out of Deti’s advice which i just made the connection with) BUT it would spur me on to have such a massive raging hard-on that i could use my dick to hammer nails into concrete with and use it to treat her to a sexual symphony mirroring Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture.
Yet somehow it comes off as tho putting in a bit of effort to look extraordinary to your partner to make him happy is like shoveling the shit from the chicken coup before making dinner.
Which is where i redirect you back to Rollo’s opening picture at the top.
JUST. FUCKING. LOOK. AT. IT.
Women will put in Herculean amounts of effort to doll themselves up for:
- Their girlfriends
- A night out in the club/bar
- Going to the mall
- Business Trips
- Going to work
- Weddings to the men they love
You see a theme here? None of the above includes THE MAN that she claims to love/desire.
There’s nothing more disappointing, disheartening and libido killing than watching someone come home who’s dressed in hot business attire blouse, tight skirt, leggings and pumps, hair done up, sexy makeup and a touch of jewelery.. take it all off, come to bed with face creamed up, hair tied back, plain white pajama. It really sends a message that you really don’t think i’m worth the effort to please.
Thank you for doing all that so you don’t end up resenting me for the chore of showing me a sexy woman.
Ladies. Dress to impress. Believe me, the fucking you get will be worth the effort 😉