In honor of this being my 200th post (whew) and having surpassed 270,000+ views, i present to you a long laugh that was as fun to write as i hope it is fun to read. It’s lengthy and pic heavy but i think it might just make your day and raise some interesting and thought provoking discussion. At the very least it allowed me to be gratuitous with the pic and vid links. Please not, this post is most certainly NOT SAFE for work, or around kids, or Lindsay West.
You’ve been warned.
And if you don’t think this has dire implications down the road, you got another thing coming.
The Asians are hard at work making their hardcore Hentai/Anime porn look as photo-realistic as possible.
Picture this scenario:
Throughout the day you’ve been bombarded with ads on TV for Axe body spray, you’ve passed by the newstand and seen the latest cover of MAXIM, you went into the convenience store and noticed the HUSTLER on the rack, your female coworker decided to wear those red pumps and shorter pencil skirt today, and you fantasized about taking her in the broom closet, you went to the gym and couldn’t help notice the tight girls doing their yoga stretches, the cash girl at the coffee shop was extra bubbly and smiled extra hard when you ordered your brew on the way home and you couldn’t help but notice the billboard on the highway for SPIKE TV displaying a tight toned female stomach covered in water beads beside a .50 caliber sniper rifle. By the time you pulled into the driveway and bumped into your neighbors hot wife bouncing by during her jog.. your prostate is pretty much pounding the shit out of your insides demanding you release the pressure.
After this particularily hard grueling day, you come home, to an empty house, throw your keys on the coffee table, put your briefcase down, sit on the couch, verbally say ‘Xbox ON’, put on the goggles, sit back relax.
The Kinect controller recognizes your face, along with your pulse, heart rate, stress levels, pupil dialation, body temperature and rate of breathing, etc… a virtual tricorder of knowing what state your body is, how much tension you have pent up, and how badly it needs to be released.
And it has the perfect digital simulation to help you out with that little conundrum.