Posts Tagged ‘beta’

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A Regret I Can Never Atone For

April 11, 2014

Light

It is here in that moment that my Atheism is finally put to the test. Put on trial. I’m staring at the light, directly above the ambulance. Here and now, if there ever was a moment to have a spiritual revelation or reevaluation of religion, this was the time. I was ready to cast my nonbelief aside. I was desperate for it. I wanted to see a hint, a sign, a glimmer.. a glimpse – anything. I really wanted to be wrong in that moment. I was ready to grab onto anything, but i needed to see it. In this, my darkest hour.. i was looking for a miracle and proof that this wasn’t the end. I was looking for hope to atone.

A few hours earlier, April 10, 2008

I look up the staircase and see my bother sitting beside his computer and yell up to him “I’ll be back before 9.. we’ll get in a couple rounds of Hold’m when i get back. You know how much i love taking your funny money!”

Hrah hrah hrah, he snarked. My brother was great at Texas Holdem. I sucked. He knew it and i knew it. I was full of false bravado and not much else. He had been looking forward to this since i had been kept busy during the week working overtime for the struggling company i was working for. The 2008 economic collapse had not yet kicked in.. but i was already a victim of it’s red flags. And friends rarely dropped by to see him, tho i think it was at his request. He didn’t want people to see him as a cancer patient, he wanted people to see him when he was cured and all big bad and sexy.

With my pledge set, i took my fiance’s hand and we left for the dinner party she had booked us for.

As far as dinner parties go, this one wasn’t bad. I knew the hosts as friends, not simply acquaintances of my fiance. That being said, i’m not a fan of dinner parties at all. Call it a vestige of my introversion. I can suffer them with a smile, but i suffer nonetheless. I dull the pain with booze. Suffice it to say, i really didn’t want to be here tonight, i really wanted to be playing poker with my brother. But i had already promised my fiance that we would go do this, even tho it was brought up last minute. You know.. me being a nice guy and all, wanted to make sure i carried a good record of ‘Happy wife, happy life” into the marriage before it started.

We arrived at the destination. I finish parking my car in the school parking lot across the street from my friends place. Just before i get out of the car, my fiance brings up my brother. Specifically the very likely chance or possibility that he might end up either to sick to attend, or even die before the wedding. I simply look down at my feet and acknowledge that reality, tho it’s not something i wanted to dwell. He’d make it.

We enter the place, shoot the shit, chat it up while our host grabbed dinner. We ate. The women talked and me and my friend ended up looking over his computer. He always managed to get virus’s or issues on his laptop and me being the resident geek squad meant every dinner invite always carried the ulterior motive of tech support. A quick download of Malware Bytes later, he was on his way to recovery.

Evening was upon us and i gazed at my watch. “HOLY SHIT” i said in my head.. the time was 8:30. The highway wouldn’t be busy at this time but it was still a good 20 minutes from my mothers. My fiance was actively talking about something or other with my friends wife.

“10 minutes” i said in my head. I sat on the couch and looked at my watch again. “10 minutes and you’ll be off”.

Read the rest of this entry ?

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Products with ‘Made in Japan’ will become Collector’s Items!

December 1, 2013

Watch the video.. it’s both funny and painful.

Men have always worked to attain wealth and power in order to out compete against other males in order to be viewed upon favorably by women for the purposes of sexual access. Men get and education, work, prosper and become strong and independent to attract women for sex, create society and start families.

But what happens when women get education, prosper and become independent (taking on masculine traits) thus becoming the men of society. What do they do with their equal opportunity?

They eschew relationships or creating families early on, and have too much fun shopping for fucking shit.

And how do they view most actual men while at the height of their sexual and economic power?

With disgust, derision and apathy. They don’t have time to entertain the idea of relationships. They see no need. It’s all too bothersome and annoying and interferes with the day to day operation of their awesome fabulous lives of earning money to spend on trivial shit. It is here you see female disdain towards sex. Without external factors pressing their individual survival requiring them to hook up early to a man, they could care less about men’s need or desire for sex. This is like the OKCupid study on steroids. A true feminist utopia in every sense of the word. Free from being required to engage in a reciprocal trade of resources or having to have icky sex with Joe Average.

Of course, as Sunshine Mary found out, feminist utopia comes with a laundry list of emergency hotlines for the severely depressed and the emotionally crippled.

It creates women like the emotionally broken one that wished death upon the happy couples she sees on the street for the crime of being in a happy relationship.. one she can never experience.

BECAUSE SHE’S FUCKING BROKEN!

Men have always desired wealth and power for the purpose of successfully mating and propagating our species. It is especially telling in Japan. Japanese men in were once renowned as robotic humans who worked preposterous hours.. just so that the family he created would prosper and thrive. Now when women are given the same option of working hard like men to earn money and become ‘salary (wo)men’.. do they behave in the same manner as those men of generations past?

No, they couldn’t be bothered. It’s all about them, and they’ll let Japan die before they give up having their fun.

And what of the men who were left behind, pushed out of the job options by the influx of women, and completely lost to any mating prospects, or simply stopped caring about working brutal hours. What of them?

When females enter the male frame and dominate it, men become weak and forced into a female frame. Once they enter that frame, they cannot instill desire or attraction of any kind. (Look at any modern day male feminist who isn’t a conniving sociopath like Hugo) They become effeminate. They realize the long uphill struggle that is required to attain sex, and seeing the folly in trying, they remain in their female frame and enjoy the simpler pursuits of life. And the men have come to realize (and accept) that they know their women would rather die than have sex with them.. so there is no motivation on this earth that would make them want to slog 80 hours a week trying to be a career salary man. There is ZERO FUCKING REWARD.

In such a society where relationships are abandoned because of too much tinkering with natural gender roles, too much freedom wrought by high tech society, and the act of sex so removed from the confines of a loving intimate act.. instead turned into a commodity to be sold under every kind of fetish and niche to be served.. and you end up with Japan. A culture ready to die.

Yes, a majority of the Japanese men are now effeminate spineless beta herbs that have the sexual appeal of a toad stool but hey, if you’re gonna blame them for being that way, you gotta blame the root cause. Women demanding to step into the masculine frame and forcibly pushing men into the feminine frame. Something had to give.. and something broke.

Where men profess love to digital girls on their Nintendo. And women who pay for orbiters to listen to their prattle…

Who pay men exorbitant amount of money in excess of what high class escorts charge here in North America, and pay eagerly and willingly to ‘alpha’ male ‘hosts’ simply to hear them bitch about their shitty days working for a fucking paycheck. No sex. No love. Just listening to ‘their feelings’.

Take note beta-orbiters.. YOUR TIME IS VALUABLE AND WORTH MONEY! Are you in the friend-zone?

Next time the bitch wants your shoulder to cry on.. pull out one of these with a straight face…

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Oh wait..

fuck..

get with the times dude..

GoPayment_Card_Reader_hand_swiping

Japan is dying because women.. in all their freedom, became selfish. They got all the rights and equality of men.. but whereas men always used it to further civilization and enhance and grow their societies, women are just happy to absorb everything, live in the moment selfishly and move on to the next area.

Like a virus.

sachs-tom-1966-usa-hello-kitty-made-in-japan-2082601

Goodbye Japan.. it’s ok.. i’ve already gotten used to seeing ‘Made in China’ and ‘Made in Taiwan’ on my products.

I won’t miss you when you’re gone.

Your move North America.. your move.

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Garbage In, Garbage Out

November 17, 2013

Beautiful-Animal-Photography

There is a term in photography relating to the outcome of your final product dependent on the source material you begin with. It originally derived from computer science in relation to data, because computers are dumb and only do what you feed into it. So if you feed it shit, it will output shit.

From the Wiki:

Garbage in, garbage out (GIGO) in the field of computer science or information and communications technology refers to the fact that computers will unquestioningly process unintended, even nonsensical, input data (“garbage in”) and produce undesired, often nonsensical, output (“garbage out”).

The same thing applies to pictures. Photoshop has come a long way from it’s heyday. It can make the ordinary extraordinary. But the same rule applies, the better the quality of the photo going in, the less Photoshop you actually require to make it amazing. And you should never be using Photoshop as a means of constantly trying to save garbage photo’s. Not if your bread and butter is photography!

I saw this photo floating around on Facebook, and it seems that art imitates life is more than an apt way of framing this picture as a snapshot of our current society’s behavior wrt relationships.

media-20131114

With the exception of the reference to negatives, i would say this picture describes the digital age quite well.

The digital age, even in guilty. My Nikon can take thousands of pics, throw away shots. Part of the strategy is to switch to ‘drive’ mode and continuously take pics hoping one of the many turns into gold, but this is usually for action shots where the motion is frantic.

However i like to think the best shots are the ones you plan ahead for, and with the right education in lighting theory, composition and mastery of your equipment you will get the best source material. The greatest photographers will wait patiently for the perfect shot to present itself, waiting hours for just the right lighting from the greatest light source we have.. the sun, and it’s position in the sky.

Garbage in/garbage out is the motto. Start with the best in-camera picture you can take so you end up using the most minimal amount of post processing (Photoshop) as possible.

In this regard, you can consider Photoshop as an analogy for Game. Read the rest of this entry ?

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Thank You

October 25, 2013

Style: "Mad Men" January Jones (Betty Draper) and Don Draper (Jon Hamm)(apologies in advance, a lot of rambling and repeating in this post. it’s a poor writing effort but i just wanted to put this out there anyways. i’m too tired to play copy editor tonight. cheers)

I hear it often now, or some variation of it.

I hear it now where i once did not.

I hear it coming from the mouths of women. All women.

It used to only come from Asian women (who seem to naturally retain their femininity and deference, at least towards white men), and the elderly (who grew up in a time of chivalry).. but now it comes from  all women.

Young, old, thin, thick, blonde, brunette, redhead, hot, fugly, liberal, conservative. Maybe even feminists?

Doesn’t matter. They’re all saying it to me when i hold it open.

The door.

Yes folks, i still end up holding doors for ladies. Always have, always will. Le sigh..

So i have to ask “What’s changed?”

Why am i now getting thank you’s left right and center for an action that hasn’t changed one iota. The action of holding a door open for a woman?

One of two things.

  1. Either the women have changed in reflection to a society that seems to be further distancing itself from the pollution that is feminism and attempting to regain/retain chivalry because it is scared that feminism has driven men to the brink of abandoning all women
  2. Or i have changed, and women are not reacting to the action itself, but in how the action is performed.. and by whom.

The first may be a plausible scenario, but would still not explain the 100% increase in pleasant responses i have received. Such a percentile change would mean that this sea change has already taken place. We all know that isn’t the case, and the statistical odds of me running into woman after woman like this would be astronomical.

So i must conclude that a majority of it is they are responding to ME as the variable that changed in the equation.

Now.. i’m not saying i’m James fucking Bond, i’m not. I would never classify myself as an ‘alpha’. More like a reformed beta, gone into greater Beta. But those moments when i nail confidence down and am truly feeling it.. you’d be hard pressed to distinguish.

And it kind of makes sense to me now, when i think of who i was back then.. and who i am now. My firm belief is women of all stripes, colors, creeds and ideologies will be receptive to ‘MEN’ who open doors for them if they are attracted enough to them ever so briefly to consider what a possible tryst might be like. Experience tells me that women certainly abhor the idea of being inseminated with unfit and unworthy semen, so they would hiss upon undesirable men who might seek to curry favor by being chivalrous in the hopes of romantic persuasion.

When i was undesirable.. most women would find ways to bend space and time in an effort to avoid acknowledging my gesture.

Today, especially when wearing my tank-tops during the summer, women couldn’t curtsy and say Thank You fast enough, their smiles betraying their thoughts. The second glance they’d shoot me farther away granted me the same feeling as a scientist when his theory pans out correctly.

Simply from the way and manner in which i confidently open a door.

And it is without reservation that all aspects of Game helped me get here. From my initial Dark Triad game which got me out of my nightmare, to learning about Game and attraction, along with Inner Game and fixing the core. Every facet of game helped.

I’ve tracked a lot of my incoming traffic, i like to see who’s talking about me and what i’m adding to the discussion. I have seen my name alot on a lot of forums and so forth. I do recall one person saying that they liked what i wrote but that i still used too much PUA crap in my writing. They don’t like the concept of ‘pretending to be someone you’re not‘ or ‘faking it till you make it‘. What they’re actually saying tho is that they are scared of working on changing themselves for the better and instead should simply be accepted as they are.

(Fat acceptance anyone?)

To each their own, i won’t dictate to any man how they wish to live. I only show my own example from where i started – to where i’ve ended up as an example for others to explore if they so choose. They think that people who peddle game are parasites taking advantage of the vulnerable.

Suffice it to say, you can see i offer no books, courses or any monetary sink holes for people to fall into. While i will agree that there is a group of people who sell the downtrodden unreasonable hopes of landing HB9’s with 3 simple questions that will make her want to fuck you, and the idea that you can turn a love shy, introverted, and socially awkward wallflower into a Mac Daddy over the course of a weekend seminar is selling snake oil at it’s finest.. it doesn’t invalidate the central tenets of Game philosophy, Evo Psych and attraction triggers evolved from our cavemen ancestors. Or as Private Man says – Biology Always Wins.

I think what rubs some of these guys the wrong way (and i will concur) is that alot of the salesmen are duplicitous charlatans who start off from a dubious premise. I’ll use Paul Janka as an example. This guy sells ‘The Attraction Formula’.. and for what it’s worth, i read it. I read it 3 weeks after breaking up with my exwife. I downloaded it from das Pirate Bay so i didn’t contribute to the pool of unfortunate men funding him. The book is almost a collection of core game rules that you could end up figuring out for yourself if you spent enough time bloghopping in the sphere. The reason i pick on Paul is because he starts his sales pitch with a doozy (and i’m paraphrasing because i can’t recall it) that sounds something like this:

Look at me, i’m not the most attractive, or good looking guy out there. I’m Joe Average. But with my system, you can get laid with many different women, one for every day of the week!

  • Full head of hair – check
  • 5 oclock shadow – check
  • masculine jawline – check
  • dark full eyebrows – check
  • alpha features and facial tone – check
  • perfect teeth – check
  • looks great in a suit – check

Yes. Joe Average indeed.

I do not see him as having trouble with woman since he has his foot half way through the door and many women will be pleased to be approached by him. It’s his ball to fumble afterwords but he has ‘Game’ built into his face.

I’ll bet most of his students do not. There are some guys who will never be able to pull HB9’s no matter what. Like attracts like and +/- a point or two is the basic operating trend.

So yes, the detractors of game have a point i might concede in that some people who peddle game are really selling false hopes in order to monetize on the misfortunes of the beta to omega class. I’ll grant that.

I’m not one of them. I’m not peddling anything other than a collection of my stories and my transformation (and the odd rant or two about rape/sluts/frivorces/mens rights/mgtow advice/yadayada) nothing more.

So it hurts when people say that learning game is bogus, or it sucks that you have to act or pretend, and they feel like they’d be tired sooner or later having to keep up the facade.

When you fulfill your transformation, there is no facade.. there is only you.

It is not the spoon that bends, only your mind.

I can surely assure them and assuage their feelings that i am neither pretending to be someone else or faking anything. I am not ‘play acting’. I am the very same person who i was 20 years ago, in mind and spirit. The only thing that changed is how i present myself to the world.

Through my physical appearance, to the better fitting and fashionable clothes, to the grooming (and accepted loss of hair gone cue ball, embracing instead of ashamin’), to fixing my teeth, and learning both what women find attractive (and being able to fit in without much fuss), and knowing what they find unattractive (and knowing when and by how much to taper off the bad beta), and in knowing when not to partake in any drama or fuss (mgtow, knowing my objective real value, treating myself as the prize, no pussy pedestal, easy dismissal of entitled brats/whores).

Game isn’t all smoke and mirrors, fakery, pimp hats and feather boa’s. Those who are internally confident and sure of themselves can use game as a supplement and make it a  part of who they are, and it doesn’t come off as awkward, unnatural or pathetic. And you don’t get internally confident just by repeating pickup lines like a parrot. You can’t fake it for long, if at all. Once you fix the core, it’s not faking.

There’s no fakery when i can carry on a conversation with a women and lace it with sexual tension and innuendo, and hold eye contact throughout. 3 years ago i wouldn’t be able to say anything sexually charged without blushing and averting her eyes like a sheepish shy omega.

Those who dismiss game, are simply dismissing learning and mastering the ability to have control over ones actions. You can look at game as a means to learn shortcuts to attraction, but without the inner confidence of actually knowing it, you end up looking like a punk who writes cheques his body can’t cash. I look at game more as a means to help you prevent your beta/gamma unattractive traits from coming to the surface and letting ‘the real you’ shine through.

As i go through life now, i don’t think.. i just do. I’m not acting, I am ME. Inner game allowed me to become the best me possible. Game itself taught me how to curb my unattractive traits so that i only present the very best me possible at all times.

When i’m walking down the street with my head held high, walking tall, cock leading me.. i’m not acting. It is what i have become. 5 years ago i was a slouching, foot dragging, shoulders/head in front of cock beta.

When i’m telling a joke to a female, i smile, hold the gaze, laugh and keep my head face to face with my recipient. I do not stutter over my words, mess up punch lines, giggle throughout the joke, snort, or sheepishly look at the floor while in the company of women.

When i’m speaking with people, i’m cognoscent of how i speak, modulating the inflections of my voice, maintaining control, holding my frame and using gestures only when required. I speak like i walk, poised and with purpose. I am thinking about what i am going to say before i say it. What i don’t do is ramble, get stuck on ‘uhhh’s, let my voice enter tonal ranges of a prepubescent teenager, or flail my arms around like an airline ground traffic controller hopped up on speed and coke.

And yes, even something as simple as opening a door. I calculate in advance whether to pick up my pace to make it to the door in time, smoothly and effortlessly, or slow down if i feel i’m too far away. I open the door in one fluid motion and position myself in front of the door with ease, and attain eye contact, and smile. I do not run at a sprint towards the door, i do not make it obvious it was planned, i do not struggle with the door or flail like a flag in the wind. I don’t behave submissively at the door or look at the floor. I don’t park my ass behind the door.

And all this happens now without me consciously even thinking about it. There are moments where i falter or trip, but i recover so much quicker and easier as well.

These changes didn’t happen overnight, and it wasn’t parlor tricks or a wearing eye makeup and pretending to be a pirate.

These were life changes to make me better, while retaining the essence of who i was. I didn’t change, but what i presented to the world did!

Anyone who says that learning Game is basically acting or pretending to be someone you’re not simply hasn’t grasped how to effectively use it, and how to actualize their full potential.

I am still the exact same person i was 20 years ago. I am a geek. I love Transformers. I would play Dungeons and Dragons if i had the time and friends. I love technology. None of that has changed. But you would never imagine the night and day difference between me then and me now if you saw me next to my 20 year old beta shmuck self. And now that it has become a part of me and who i am, (and because i chose well in terms of who i partnered up with) it is not a chore, not a burden, not some terrible fate that i must continue to ‘pretend’ or ‘act’ or ‘behave’ in some manner that i will eventually get tired of or slip up and revert to beta. Having fully embraced being masculine.. it is not a chore, rather it is something i welcome and enjoy being. I stood in the frame and by golly… i kinda fucking like it here!

What has changed is how i present myself. I don’t make Transformers or video games the epicenter of my life like 20 years ago I’m not the bashful non-confident nerd of 15 years ago. I’m not the quiet meek voice of 10 years ago. I’m not the posture of a doormat i was 5 years ago. . everything about who i am now is having put into practice reclaiming my masculinity, and working hard to create real value in myself so my confidence in myself is also real and not just ‘acting’ or a parlor trick.

I simply upped my Game.

And the women have taken notice.

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RELATED:

Danny on how the outside matters but doesn’t matter.. it’s all about the ‘core’!

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What Mortal Kombat taught me about the Game

July 31, 2013

“Why do you even bother asking me to play against you.. you KNOW you are going to win. You KNOW i can’t beat you. There is no point in me picking up the controller. It’s a foregone conclusion. So why do YOU want to play? What pleasure do YOU get from beating an opponent who can’t challenge you? Is it because there’s NO challenge? Is it because it’s easy and fun to play when you CAN’T lose?

I can’t wait to see you play someone who’s better than you, and he kicks your ass. You’ll probably suck out, start crying and never play the game again.”

- My Brother Chris

mc-2

Quick post and related to TarnishedSophia’s comment here:

“Even a high-N man only has value up to a certain point. Look at men such as Roosh…he claims to have had sex with hundreds of women, and without using protection! There is a point where having multiple partners becomes a point of contention, and it becomes clear that you are no longer having/sharing sex…you’re just rutting with anything that moves, like an extremely primitive animal in heat.”

Sophia’s comment reminded me of my youth and something that transpired an age ago.

One of those lessons someone teaches you that you don’t grasp until many years later.

And it’s the reason the double standard applies.

My Mortal Kombat story is if anything, absolutely NOT a story about my being an alpha, or becoming one. Hell i wouldn’t even call myself one now.. but does share a common tangent with what it takes to become one, and why it can be respected EVEN once you take it to the point of abuse, as Sophia lays claim to folks like Roosh.

See, i admire Roosh.

I do not admire or aspire to be a flag snatching, notch counting, bang getting, pussy slaying poon vampire who is enslaved to seeking out new victims to drain of their life force in a never ending conquest to treat other humans (however ignorant, solipsistic or repugnant and feminist-like they *might* be) as straight up living masterbation tools and warm cum dumpsters.

It’s not in me.

I’d rather filter, and end up with what i knew i wanted right from the start. No matter how long it takes (almost 2 yrs for me). I won’t entertain shit for a shot at pussy.

But i still can respect the feat for what it is, no matter what the final consequence or damage that might be inflicted upon Roosh’s soul. I suspect even he knows this.. but that’s for him to wrestle with. Hell, even Gene Simmons settled down, so maybe Roosh will find his.

I mean.. Mark Minter found his right?

So how does Roosh tie in with my Mortal Kombat youth and the double standard? I’ll try and explain. Hopefully it won’t come out convoluted.

Back in the 90’s, on my Sega Genesis, i got good at MK2. I mean REALLY good. I learned all the classic ninja’s moves (Scorpion/SubZero/Reptile). I was so adept at reading the animations of the characters initial frames.. i could practically tell what my opponent would do before he/she actually made the move. I knew every move, block, counter and finishing move.

This is all hardly alpha, i know. Bear with me.

Read the rest of this entry ?

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RedPill Room Interview – Ask Away

March 27, 2013

Just letting people know that i’ve agreed to do an ask all session with Morpheus over at the Reddit Redpillschool. Date and time as follows:

When Thu Mar 28, 2013 10am – 11am Eastern Time


Now, while i’m still in mind recovery and had a good chat with good egg Danny about the direction i want to take in life and how my blog will follow, you can still feel free to ask whatever it is you cats will ask. I’ve been told to expect some heavy trolling as well so i’m bringing Sting with me. After watching the Hobbit in 3d last night, i might just bring Orcrist and Glamdring too ;)

And below is a timeline of how my life unfolded so you have some understanding of how i became who i was and how my environment shaped who i was and how it sealed my fate until i discovered the redpill and the world of the ‘sphere’. It may answer some of your questions in advance, or create new ones.

Cheers!

Read the rest of this entry ?

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But that was HER song…

January 24, 2013

Quick story from my past. The year is 2001. I’m in two concurrent friendzones, the two that would define my adolescence. Let’s call the first one J and the second one S. Well, in 2001 S was in a relationship, but J had just suddenly become single.

Being the beta that i was, and stupidly trying to win her heart by showing love, caring, support, emotional availability, time, etc instead of commiting myself to working on myself and making her want to ‘earn’ my love and qualify to me.. well you can see how this song sort of became my anthem for the first half of the new decade. It helped delude me even further that it was MY job as a man to prove my love to her through actions. I embraced this song.

I introduced J to this song, and the album (as i had become familiar with Napster at the time) and began to download tons of songs for her because that’s what NiceGuys like me did. This song became associated with her and I. Everyone with half a functioning brain cell could see the pain and frustration of my situation oozing out of me.

Even her.

Eventually, years later, on the eve of my engagement to S (whom i eventually broke the friend zone successfully with) J would admit she knew. Not enumerated, just her saying that she was sorry for what she did to me, thus acknowledging she knew she was pulling my heart strings six ways from Sunday.

Since i was getting engaged to my beloved, there was no anger upon hearing that admission. More closure than anything else.

Fast forward a few months and me and S are now purchasing dancing lessons for ‘the big day’ since i couldn’t dance to save my life. Our dance instructor was teaching us the four basic dance types and tempos to each. She said we would have to settle on 2 quickly and choose up to 4 songs to practice with until we finally knew which we would go with. So we had to start brainstorming.

First we thought about the group that unintentionally became a symbol of the trauma we were both enduring just before getting together. Three Days Grace and their album OneX and specifically the song Over and Over, symbolizing how often we spun in circles before we finally found each other as soul-mates (feel free to puke, remember, i was still total blue pill despite having Alpha’s up in other areas)

But none of those songs felt like something that should be played at a wedding celebration. So i figured why not use a song whose lyrics symbolize everything i’m feeling about her right now. I generously offer up the song “Hanging by a Moment” by Lifehouse thinking i just hit the jackpot. To be sure, i was caught a bit off guard by the reaction.

OH FUCKING HELL NO!

I iz perplexed…

But why honey?

That was J’s song. I remember you were playing that constantly around her. I remember how you always talked to me about her (imagine.. me asking another woman for advise.. and getting nowhere might i add). That was your song for her when you loved her. No way that song is going to be used for a celebration of ***OUR*** love!

We eventually settled on Nickleback.. and that may have been what actually doomed us, but i digress.

I want you to understand this very clearly. That song about true pure love… was no longer special enough to my wife because i had shared it with and connected it to my feelings for another woman.

..

..

Can anyone tell me the true relevance of this story and why i brought it up?  Scroll way down for my answer..

Read the rest of this entry ?

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