Archive for the ‘GrowingUpBeta’ Category

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A Regret I Can Never Atone For

April 11, 2014

Light

It is here in that moment that my Atheism is finally put to the test. Put on trial. I’m staring at the light, directly above the ambulance. Here and now, if there ever was a moment to have a spiritual revelation or reevaluation of religion, this was the time. I was ready to cast my nonbelief aside. I was desperate for it. I wanted to see a hint, a sign, a glimmer.. a glimpse – anything. I really wanted to be wrong in that moment. I was ready to grab onto anything, but i needed to see it. In this, my darkest hour.. i was looking for a miracle and proof that this wasn’t the end. I was looking for hope to atone.

A few hours earlier, April 10, 2008

I look up the staircase and see my bother sitting beside his computer and yell up to him “I’ll be back before 9.. we’ll get in a couple rounds of Hold’m when i get back. You know how much i love taking your funny money!”

Hrah hrah hrah, he snarked. My brother was great at Texas Holdem. I sucked. He knew it and i knew it. I was full of false bravado and not much else. He had been looking forward to this since i had been kept busy during the week working overtime for the struggling company i was working for. The 2008 economic collapse had not yet kicked in.. but i was already a victim of it’s red flags. And friends rarely dropped by to see him, tho i think it was at his request. He didn’t want people to see him as a cancer patient, he wanted people to see him when he was cured and all big bad and sexy.

With my pledge set, i took my fiance’s hand and we left for the dinner party she had booked us for.

As far as dinner parties go, this one wasn’t bad. I knew the hosts as friends, not simply acquaintances of my fiance. That being said, i’m not a fan of dinner parties at all. Call it a vestige of my introversion. I can suffer them with a smile, but i suffer nonetheless. I dull the pain with booze. Suffice it to say, i really didn’t want to be here tonight, i really wanted to be playing poker with my brother. But i had already promised my fiance that we would go do this, even tho it was brought up last minute. You know.. me being a nice guy and all, wanted to make sure i carried a good record of ‘Happy wife, happy life” into the marriage before it started.

We arrived at the destination. I finish parking my car in the school parking lot across the street from my friends place. Just before i get out of the car, my fiance brings up my brother. Specifically the very likely chance or possibility that he might end up either to sick to attend, or even die before the wedding. I simply look down at my feet and acknowledge that reality, tho it’s not something i wanted to dwell. He’d make it.

We enter the place, shoot the shit, chat it up while our host grabbed dinner. We ate. The women talked and me and my friend ended up looking over his computer. He always managed to get virus’s or issues on his laptop and me being the resident geek squad meant every dinner invite always carried the ulterior motive of tech support. A quick download of Malware Bytes later, he was on his way to recovery.

Evening was upon us and i gazed at my watch. “HOLY SHIT” i said in my head.. the time was 8:30. The highway wouldn’t be busy at this time but it was still a good 20 minutes from my mothers. My fiance was actively talking about something or other with my friends wife.

“10 minutes” i said in my head. I sat on the couch and looked at my watch again. “10 minutes and you’ll be off”.

Read the rest of this entry ?

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Worth – Put into Proper Context

January 12, 2014

Worth-Sermon.001-980x768

Happy New Years.

I was in a line up at Walmart today, and my eyes did what they naturally do without any thought or hesitation.

I was checking out women. Cute. Bangworthy. Long legs. Hot. Nice smile. Doe eyes. Lashes. Peacock fashion. The works.

And.. dun dun dun… i was comparing them against each other. Which was hotter than, more doable, better looking etc..

All being done in milliseconds of thought with just hovering glances.

It’s what i do. It’s what the male brain does. I don’t question it, i revel in it. I feel no shame, i was born to do this. It just took me a long time to accept it as who i am rather than twist and contort myself into believing feminist bullshit of constructs and worth.

As i caught myself checking out a really gorgeous woman standing next to a not so well-off member of her sisterhood – a voice in my head from an age past jumped into my head. The sound of a feminist woman telling me

“Oh, so we’re only as valuable to you as we are attractive. Nothing else about us is redeemable or contains value. Our worth is entirely dependent on how hot we look to *YOU* men!”

Or some shit to that effect.

I realized right there in that line, was the voice of feminist thought that was once spoken by me, long before i crossed the Rubicon into the world of redpill.

When i was a beta chump.

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CONFESSIONS OF A REFORMED INCEL – AFTERMATH Pt.1

November 15, 2013

Losing my Virginity was Lame.. Losing my Incel status was Epic!

Virginity

So laidnyc asked for us to write about it, i will. (late to the party as usual)

This is how i lost my virginity to my first girlfriend (who later became my exwife). She was 6 months older than me, and a sexually experienced woman with 3 boyfriends prior to me. She was intent on utilizing me to jump from her current boyfriend to her next boyfriend. I became the gateway boyfriend, the in-between, serial monogamy boyfriend, the pack mule and workhorse… (to help her move out, she wanted me to go on welfare and move into an apartment with her, my mom stopped me from making the stupidest decision of my life. Funny how my mom could tell me what to do for my best interest and no one bats an eyelash.. tell a girl what’s best for her and you’re an oppressive part of the patriarchy trying to stifle and shame female sexuality. My mom being a woman knew exactly what my gf was up to and put the kibosh on that fast LIKE A FUCKING PARENT SHOULD.. take that to the bank. OK, way off track) ..and to help her move out of the apartment she was being evicted from to a new place.

I was 17 when she was on the way out from her relationship to another guy. She knew i was interested, and was in need of a ton of help during the breakup, so what better way to get the utility of a stupid beta than to ‘rob the cradle’ so to speak. Just shy of my 18th birthday, she asked me to come up to her apartment, and we had a long talk on the couch and i finally fessed up my feelings for her. She asked me if i was asking her out. I said yes, and she seemed ecstatic. I left her apartment on a high i never felt before. I finally had my first bonafide girlfriend. The next day, she called me over and started telling me about all of her troubles and needs. Once she hit me with all of that, she told me to wait on the couch while she went into the bedroom. She was telling me she was getting my early birthday present ready. She came out in pigtails, a school girl kilt and thigh high leggings. She took complete control, sat in my lap and started lapdancing me like a pro. A few moments later i ended up inside her. I think i was so utterly surprised by the whole experience.. i spent my time reading a mental timer trying to keep from busting too fast.  Moist, tight envelopment of hot 18 year old pussy grinding up and down on my cock, tits in my face, the smell of her perfume and sex mingling in the air, just a hint of flesh between the tops of her leggings and the end of her kilt, all the magic and mystery happening underneath her skirt that i couldn’t see, but i could fully feel unlike anything my cock had felt before. I didn’t even make two minutes.

I remember a lot of cum came flowing back out of her i do recall.

But ya.. quite pathetic on the whole.

I much prefer the story of my losing my ‘born again’ viginity due to involuntary celibacy.

A few days ago i found an old thread on a RooshV forum about my Incel post, and a lot of commenters had the same reaction. That what i described was too fantastical to have been real. “Too good to be true!” That i fudged the story to make it sound wilder than it was. A direct quote from one poster stated “first is the guy’s jump from a decade plus of incelness and “omega”-ness to banging strippers on the reg. this defies belief. it is as extreme a jump as you can get.”

So i will recollect a little more in depth here in my second story:

CONFESSIONS OF A REFORMED INCEL – AFTERMATH

Her stage name was “Megan”. Read the rest of this entry ?

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Just a quick update..

October 30, 2013

Hello folks. Just a quick one. Got some big posts in the works so i thought i’d give you a small to tide you over.

  1. Got my results back from my cardiologist. The heart is solid. No defects at all. Chalk this one up to exercise over exertion and Vasovagal syncope. I have had a history of passing out due to seeing blood/trauma ever since a child. I’ve gotten better as i’ve aged but it’s always been there. I was actually hoping it really was heart related so that i could deal with a physical cause. Looks like hypnosis is my last option. In case you’re wondering, this is what it is. It’s probably in no small part the reason why i was brought up beta. Being the baby of the family, born premie, and having this condition.. probably led to my mom sheltering me, over protecting me, and kept me from taking the risks normal male children enjoy taking (which can lead to broken bones and copious amounts of blood). I’d have been a police officer or paramedic if my early childhood heroes could be realized.
  2. I’m very interested in an idea brought up on JustFourGuys post  Just Four Opinions – Daily Beast. Specifically making a documentary about the “manosphere.. from which this day forward i will simply call ‘The Sphere’. [Like the earth where different peoples migrate and create different cultures and ideas, so too is the sphere not one unified voice but a collection of different opinions, ideas, dogmas, etc.. where discussion is encouraged, assailed and held to peer scrutiny]. We are all here because we understand the outside world has peddled us ‘pretty lies’. We all knew as we looked out that window that what we saw was somehow not real. We knew a truth that had no name. The same realization that feminists originally claimed, a condition that had no name – bored housewives stifled at home.. we too have a condition – our lives were not our own. We all ended up here seeking truth and answers the ‘real’ world would not give us. And in light of the hit piece ABC’s 20/20 tried to pull, i want to see a real documentary with sane and sound individuals talking about/explaining/detailing exactly what the sphere is, why it exists, who participates in it (men/women), and what it preaches (lifestyle/game/mens rights/discussion/facts/sound statistics/etc..). Yes there are angry voices, but we have lots of men who find the sphere after the worst day of their life, so it’s understandable. But no one extremist voice speaks for us all.. unlike feminism, where every extremist follows the same core aspects of feminism. GirlWritesWhat took that on with the Not all feminists are like that trope. So, i have the camera, i have the editing software. I’m going to try and put together a quick little monologue together and run it by the gang at JFG and see where we can take this. If things go well, i’d open it up to other sphere bloggers to submit video to me to add. Guess if things really went well and it was coordinated well enough, fly out to record folks in their own environments. Dare to dream.
  3. Just thought i’d share this video i found on Youtube today. Probably one of the best point by point refutations of Feminism i’ve seen in a long while!

And oh yeah.. GO LEAFS GO!

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Thank You

October 25, 2013

Style: "Mad Men" January Jones (Betty Draper) and Don Draper (Jon Hamm)(apologies in advance, a lot of rambling and repeating in this post. it’s a poor writing effort but i just wanted to put this out there anyways. i’m too tired to play copy editor tonight. cheers)

I hear it often now, or some variation of it.

I hear it now where i once did not.

I hear it coming from the mouths of women. All women.

It used to only come from Asian women (who seem to naturally retain their femininity and deference, at least towards white men), and the elderly (who grew up in a time of chivalry).. but now it comes from  all women.

Young, old, thin, thick, blonde, brunette, redhead, hot, fugly, liberal, conservative. Maybe even feminists?

Doesn’t matter. They’re all saying it to me when i hold it open.

The door.

Yes folks, i still end up holding doors for ladies. Always have, always will. Le sigh..

So i have to ask “What’s changed?”

Why am i now getting thank you’s left right and center for an action that hasn’t changed one iota. The action of holding a door open for a woman?

One of two things.

  1. Either the women have changed in reflection to a society that seems to be further distancing itself from the pollution that is feminism and attempting to regain/retain chivalry because it is scared that feminism has driven men to the brink of abandoning all women
  2. Or i have changed, and women are not reacting to the action itself, but in how the action is performed.. and by whom.

The first may be a plausible scenario, but would still not explain the 100% increase in pleasant responses i have received. Such a percentile change would mean that this sea change has already taken place. We all know that isn’t the case, and the statistical odds of me running into woman after woman like this would be astronomical.

So i must conclude that a majority of it is they are responding to ME as the variable that changed in the equation.

Now.. i’m not saying i’m James fucking Bond, i’m not. I would never classify myself as an ‘alpha’. More like a reformed beta, gone into greater Beta. But those moments when i nail confidence down and am truly feeling it.. you’d be hard pressed to distinguish.

And it kind of makes sense to me now, when i think of who i was back then.. and who i am now. My firm belief is women of all stripes, colors, creeds and ideologies will be receptive to ‘MEN’ who open doors for them if they are attracted enough to them ever so briefly to consider what a possible tryst might be like. Experience tells me that women certainly abhor the idea of being inseminated with unfit and unworthy semen, so they would hiss upon undesirable men who might seek to curry favor by being chivalrous in the hopes of romantic persuasion.

When i was undesirable.. most women would find ways to bend space and time in an effort to avoid acknowledging my gesture.

Today, especially when wearing my tank-tops during the summer, women couldn’t curtsy and say Thank You fast enough, their smiles betraying their thoughts. The second glance they’d shoot me farther away granted me the same feeling as a scientist when his theory pans out correctly.

Simply from the way and manner in which i confidently open a door.

And it is without reservation that all aspects of Game helped me get here. From my initial Dark Triad game which got me out of my nightmare, to learning about Game and attraction, along with Inner Game and fixing the core. Every facet of game helped.

I’ve tracked a lot of my incoming traffic, i like to see who’s talking about me and what i’m adding to the discussion. I have seen my name alot on a lot of forums and so forth. I do recall one person saying that they liked what i wrote but that i still used too much PUA crap in my writing. They don’t like the concept of ‘pretending to be someone you’re not‘ or ‘faking it till you make it‘. What they’re actually saying tho is that they are scared of working on changing themselves for the better and instead should simply be accepted as they are.

(Fat acceptance anyone?)

To each their own, i won’t dictate to any man how they wish to live. I only show my own example from where i started – to where i’ve ended up as an example for others to explore if they so choose. They think that people who peddle game are parasites taking advantage of the vulnerable.

Suffice it to say, you can see i offer no books, courses or any monetary sink holes for people to fall into. While i will agree that there is a group of people who sell the downtrodden unreasonable hopes of landing HB9’s with 3 simple questions that will make her want to fuck you, and the idea that you can turn a love shy, introverted, and socially awkward wallflower into a Mac Daddy over the course of a weekend seminar is selling snake oil at it’s finest.. it doesn’t invalidate the central tenets of Game philosophy, Evo Psych and attraction triggers evolved from our cavemen ancestors. Or as Private Man says – Biology Always Wins.

I think what rubs some of these guys the wrong way (and i will concur) is that alot of the salesmen are duplicitous charlatans who start off from a dubious premise. I’ll use Paul Janka as an example. This guy sells ‘The Attraction Formula’.. and for what it’s worth, i read it. I read it 3 weeks after breaking up with my exwife. I downloaded it from das Pirate Bay so i didn’t contribute to the pool of unfortunate men funding him. The book is almost a collection of core game rules that you could end up figuring out for yourself if you spent enough time bloghopping in the sphere. The reason i pick on Paul is because he starts his sales pitch with a doozy (and i’m paraphrasing because i can’t recall it) that sounds something like this:

Look at me, i’m not the most attractive, or good looking guy out there. I’m Joe Average. But with my system, you can get laid with many different women, one for every day of the week!

  • Full head of hair – check
  • 5 oclock shadow – check
  • masculine jawline – check
  • dark full eyebrows – check
  • alpha features and facial tone – check
  • perfect teeth – check
  • looks great in a suit – check

Yes. Joe Average indeed.

I do not see him as having trouble with woman since he has his foot half way through the door and many women will be pleased to be approached by him. It’s his ball to fumble afterwords but he has ‘Game’ built into his face.

I’ll bet most of his students do not. There are some guys who will never be able to pull HB9’s no matter what. Like attracts like and +/- a point or two is the basic operating trend.

So yes, the detractors of game have a point i might concede in that some people who peddle game are really selling false hopes in order to monetize on the misfortunes of the beta to omega class. I’ll grant that.

I’m not one of them. I’m not peddling anything other than a collection of my stories and my transformation (and the odd rant or two about rape/sluts/frivorces/mens rights/mgtow advice/yadayada) nothing more.

So it hurts when people say that learning game is bogus, or it sucks that you have to act or pretend, and they feel like they’d be tired sooner or later having to keep up the facade.

When you fulfill your transformation, there is no facade.. there is only you.

It is not the spoon that bends, only your mind.

I can surely assure them and assuage their feelings that i am neither pretending to be someone else or faking anything. I am not ‘play acting’. I am the very same person who i was 20 years ago, in mind and spirit. The only thing that changed is how i present myself to the world.

Through my physical appearance, to the better fitting and fashionable clothes, to the grooming (and accepted loss of hair gone cue ball, embracing instead of ashamin’), to fixing my teeth, and learning both what women find attractive (and being able to fit in without much fuss), and knowing what they find unattractive (and knowing when and by how much to taper off the bad beta), and in knowing when not to partake in any drama or fuss (mgtow, knowing my objective real value, treating myself as the prize, no pussy pedestal, easy dismissal of entitled brats/whores).

Game isn’t all smoke and mirrors, fakery, pimp hats and feather boa’s. Those who are internally confident and sure of themselves can use game as a supplement and make it a  part of who they are, and it doesn’t come off as awkward, unnatural or pathetic. And you don’t get internally confident just by repeating pickup lines like a parrot. You can’t fake it for long, if at all. Once you fix the core, it’s not faking.

There’s no fakery when i can carry on a conversation with a women and lace it with sexual tension and innuendo, and hold eye contact throughout. 3 years ago i wouldn’t be able to say anything sexually charged without blushing and averting her eyes like a sheepish shy omega.

Those who dismiss game, are simply dismissing learning and mastering the ability to have control over ones actions. You can look at game as a means to learn shortcuts to attraction, but without the inner confidence of actually knowing it, you end up looking like a punk who writes cheques his body can’t cash. I look at game more as a means to help you prevent your beta/gamma unattractive traits from coming to the surface and letting ‘the real you’ shine through.

As i go through life now, i don’t think.. i just do. I’m not acting, I am ME. Inner game allowed me to become the best me possible. Game itself taught me how to curb my unattractive traits so that i only present the very best me possible at all times.

When i’m walking down the street with my head held high, walking tall, cock leading me.. i’m not acting. It is what i have become. 5 years ago i was a slouching, foot dragging, shoulders/head in front of cock beta.

When i’m telling a joke to a female, i smile, hold the gaze, laugh and keep my head face to face with my recipient. I do not stutter over my words, mess up punch lines, giggle throughout the joke, snort, or sheepishly look at the floor while in the company of women.

When i’m speaking with people, i’m cognoscent of how i speak, modulating the inflections of my voice, maintaining control, holding my frame and using gestures only when required. I speak like i walk, poised and with purpose. I am thinking about what i am going to say before i say it. What i don’t do is ramble, get stuck on ‘uhhh’s, let my voice enter tonal ranges of a prepubescent teenager, or flail my arms around like an airline ground traffic controller hopped up on speed and coke.

And yes, even something as simple as opening a door. I calculate in advance whether to pick up my pace to make it to the door in time, smoothly and effortlessly, or slow down if i feel i’m too far away. I open the door in one fluid motion and position myself in front of the door with ease, and attain eye contact, and smile. I do not run at a sprint towards the door, i do not make it obvious it was planned, i do not struggle with the door or flail like a flag in the wind. I don’t behave submissively at the door or look at the floor. I don’t park my ass behind the door.

And all this happens now without me consciously even thinking about it. There are moments where i falter or trip, but i recover so much quicker and easier as well.

These changes didn’t happen overnight, and it wasn’t parlor tricks or a wearing eye makeup and pretending to be a pirate.

These were life changes to make me better, while retaining the essence of who i was. I didn’t change, but what i presented to the world did!

Anyone who says that learning Game is basically acting or pretending to be someone you’re not simply hasn’t grasped how to effectively use it, and how to actualize their full potential.

I am still the exact same person i was 20 years ago. I am a geek. I love Transformers. I would play Dungeons and Dragons if i had the time and friends. I love technology. None of that has changed. But you would never imagine the night and day difference between me then and me now if you saw me next to my 20 year old beta shmuck self. And now that it has become a part of me and who i am, (and because i chose well in terms of who i partnered up with) it is not a chore, not a burden, not some terrible fate that i must continue to ‘pretend’ or ‘act’ or ‘behave’ in some manner that i will eventually get tired of or slip up and revert to beta. Having fully embraced being masculine.. it is not a chore, rather it is something i welcome and enjoy being. I stood in the frame and by golly… i kinda fucking like it here!

What has changed is how i present myself. I don’t make Transformers or video games the epicenter of my life like 20 years ago I’m not the bashful non-confident nerd of 15 years ago. I’m not the quiet meek voice of 10 years ago. I’m not the posture of a doormat i was 5 years ago. . everything about who i am now is having put into practice reclaiming my masculinity, and working hard to create real value in myself so my confidence in myself is also real and not just ‘acting’ or a parlor trick.

I simply upped my Game.

And the women have taken notice.

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RELATED:

Danny on how the outside matters but doesn’t matter.. it’s all about the ‘core’!

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Confidence

May 6, 2013

This post is coming out of drafts, i started writing this just before Christmas holidays last year, and Rollo’s post here about having a Plan for what to do AFTER having secured initial interest reminded me about it so it’s a good starting point. Without further adoo.

++

Many years ago I had a conversation with the woman who had me in the friendzone.

The conversation led to what women really wanted because obviously what i had offered up until then was not enough. I had heard ‘you’re such great guy‘ too often without any results. Being friendzoned by her was proof positive.

You see feminism taught me how to be tolerant and respectful towards women but it did not teach me that these traits were devoid of attraction. Being nice and showing all your positive traits in the hopes it will be recognized by the very women claiming to be looking for those traits, which is now vilified by femcunts like Marcotte was how I (we) was(were) brought up assuming we would get women to want to have relationships with us. We were told women WANTED to be with men who don’t disrespect them, make them feel like crap, treat them like assholes. We are still told this to this very day. Guess who loses in the short term mating market?

It taught us that treating women as equals and human being was enough.

Now don’t get me wrong.. i get that there is a huge divide between being an asshole and simply being sure of yourself and confident. One takes a little time to become, through experience, patience and time. One is the shortcut way of attracting the emotionally broken and self esteem cripples of the world, women who can only be validated by thugs or have a rescue complex the size of NML Cygni. Problem is, many women don’t give guys a chance to develop the former, so they choose the path of least resistance and join the latter, mainly out of spite or sheer frustration.

If there’s anyone out there who knows exactly what i’m speaking about, it’s Deti and i invite him to repost most of his remarks below. He makes a shit ton of very good comments over at HUS on thread discussing hypergamy. Deti *groks* what most people don’t seem to understand.

You’re just not grokking what men of our generation were taught. Our own mothers either didn’t get it or, more likely, simply lied to us. Frankly I think it was that our own mothers didn’t want to admit the truth to themselves that they did the exact same things they saw the girls doing and that they themselves made some mistakes they regretted.

My mother didn’t lie to me, she just didn’t know any better. Or maybe she wanted me to avoid making the same mistake. After all, my dad was a boxer.. and looking at old pics of my mom, she was a looker in her day so she had SMV to spare. Who knows.. maybe she did lie. I just think becoming a mom destroys any sense of rationality women have and they need to justify to themselves that whatever naughty bad behaviors they did aren’t worth detailing because they want their kids to act, behave and be better than them and live in their ‘idealized’ world. It’s a theory. A shitty one but well, there it is.

So now you have this kid who’s grown up believing in irrational fairy tales of what girls who are made of sugar and spice want and should be like and what they should actually like.. and now dump a whole shit ton of feminist slut hookup culture into the mix. It’s like baking a cake. A diarrhea cake.

That's one sinfully sick cake you don't want to touch..

That’s one sinfully sick cake you don’t want to touch..

If you want to see just how far feminism fucked me over, go reread this post here. It so drilled into my head on how to be so respectful and subservient towards women, to always tiptoe around them and to NEVER be aggressive or sexually honest around them (Game allowed me to break this self perpetuating cycle of catastrophe ). So much so that i am pretty much now incapable of maintaining sexual arousal when a woman asks me to get ‘rough’ with her. It turns me off and makes me go limp. (Thankfully not an issue as my current paramour loves steamy, sensual and enthusiastically passionate sex, not Gorillas in the Mist sex any caveman can do. Monkey sex is not my forte, and i’m fucking proud of that fact)

Now, me and Deti may very well be a generation removed from what’s going on today, but my guess is that with an SMP that appears to be even more fucked up than ever before, the lessons of the past repeat themselves. But now I’m off track.. so back to the convo with my friend.

I asked her what with all my ‘great’ qualities why I was striking out? She said that I just needed to be more confident. I asked her how? She said ‘You just do. Confidence comes from within.’ I immediately balked an told her that wasn’t true. Confidence is not innate, its earned. Read the rest of this entry ?

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RedPill Room Interview – Ask Away

March 27, 2013

Just letting people know that i’ve agreed to do an ask all session with Morpheus over at the Reddit Redpillschool. Date and time as follows:

When Thu Mar 28, 2013 10am – 11am Eastern Time


Now, while i’m still in mind recovery and had a good chat with good egg Danny about the direction i want to take in life and how my blog will follow, you can still feel free to ask whatever it is you cats will ask. I’ve been told to expect some heavy trolling as well so i’m bringing Sting with me. After watching the Hobbit in 3d last night, i might just bring Orcrist and Glamdring too ;)

And below is a timeline of how my life unfolded so you have some understanding of how i became who i was and how my environment shaped who i was and how it sealed my fate until i discovered the redpill and the world of the ‘sphere’. It may answer some of your questions in advance, or create new ones.

Cheers!

Read the rest of this entry ?

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