Turning down a NiceGuy/LJBF the proper wayFebruary 11, 2013
Con’t from my last post.
I’m assuming i have a female audience. I may be delusional. Help me out at the end and answer my poll.
Have a man in your orbit who wont take the hint? Have a puppy dog humping your leg and you just can’t shoo him away because you like it’s company? You wanna let a guy down who’s obviously attracted to you but is not attractive? Just don’t know what to say?
TELL HIM WHAT HE’S DOING WRONG! NOW!
Be downright brutal if you have to.
Tell him the true nature of what women want. Tell him he’s been lied to. He’ll protest. He’ll say his mom, his teachers, other girls, all tell him it’s what’s on the inside that counts.
TELL HIM IT’S NOT ENOUGH!
He may very well be absolutely awesome on the inside.. but that’s not the issue now is it! It’s that he’s not attractive. You shouldn’t tell him that what’s on the inside doesn’t matter.. of course it does! This is what separates a decent human being from sociopaths. Simply telling him what’s on the inside doesn’t matter is a sure fire way to send him down the dark path.. as Vader did.. and he will become an agent of evil. A supplicating niceguy.
But you have to make it clear that it is not enough simply to be good on the inside. Being nice to your mom and helping ladies across the street are good traits, but they ain’t fucking attractive in getting the lower lips moist, if ya know what imma sayin. And being good at D&D and knowing how to speak Klingon in the original tongue are admirable to be sure, but the pool of women who’d be willing to cook you a plate of G’agh and serve it to you in a maid’s outfit is severely limited. And let’s not forget that being pasty white and seeing your bones sticking through your skin don’t exactly scream ‘primal savage’.
So be fucking brutally honest OK? Promise me. Do it smart, point out the flaws that need fixing, and explain why if necessary. A majority of guys will absorb it and mull it over if done in a logical fashion rather than a plea to his emotions which are already all over the map at this point. Logic shall ground them, hit them with some fucking redpill!
Guys learn through failure when they are presented with a cause to overcome.
Aim Gun > Shoot > Look at Target > Hole to the Right > Aim Gun More Left > Shoot > Repeat till Bullseye.
Guys learn by doing, but they require immediate feedback, cause and effect to know what’s working and what isn’t. Many women refuse to let the ’cause’ be known, so all the guy see’s is ‘effect’ of not being chosen, thus attributing it to “girls dont like nice.. so ill be a dick”.
And another douche-bag dark triad jersey shore cock is born.
What girls really need to do is put on their big girl panties and say:
“Look, you really do have a lot to offer someone, but you have to develop yourself into something that makes us want you just like you feel for the cute/hawt girl you see right away without knowing who she really is. It’s great that you hold doors, want to hang out, and listen to us, but we need to feel the same way you guys feel. Your problem is X, Y and Z.
Girls seem to have an aversion to telling a guy what to fix because they assume that the guy will fix every enumerated item on the list she gives, hoping that this is *her* list, and that fixing it (bandaiding) will make him attractive in the eyes of the girl he’s soliciting advice from. As long as it’s stated “Now i’m not telling you this stuff with the intention that it will work on me, im telling you so you can improve yourself to be more attractive to the general female population.”
Sit him down and show him 2 pictures of 2 women. One fat, one skinny. Tell him both will love him, both will cook and clean for him, both will enjoy having sex with him. Now choose, which would you rather have. Even if the hotter one gives you more grief and aggravation, you will still choose her because your attraction to her makes her negative qualities more forgivable. For men, it’s visual mostly. For women, it’s attitude and how you carry yourself, it’s what you’re capable of doing, and yes, looks still play a factor (sexy son theory). But overall, they need more than just looks, especially if they weren’t genetically gifted to look like Brad Pitt. Biologically, if they get shafted with 9 months of gestation.. they want the best thing growing in them.
It’s why really good looking guys without game still can’t get laid often. Tell him he needs to start working on himself, to make it so that he’s not trying to impress women, but that women will simply be impressed by how he lives and operates. He will not be qualifying to them consciously, they will simply gravitate towards him and force them to qualify to him. This way he can avoid the hot, but tragic meltdown freaks that will only cause misery in his life.
[I'm not giving you the PUA line of learning Game to get in and out p&d style. I'm saying become someone people look up to respect and admire. Then use that as a jump off point and calibrate to the type of woman you're looking for. If all you want is sex, go PUA. But most beta guys would be best served learning inner game, self development and having women qualify for meaningful relationships.. providing you are self aware enough to avoid becoming a supplicant again]
And there’s no place better to start than the gym or a martial art. The time and dedication necessary to change your body and your mind to overcome those obstacles will instill a pride and confidence within you to carry you through other ventures in life. You don’t just ‘get’ confident. It grows over time with success and repetition. And women notice muscles on a subconscious level.
Pulling my best damn Ethan Hawke on that one.
Make damn well sure he knows that nothing.. NOTHING you advise him to do will be specific towards winning you over. In fact, if you must embellish, DO SO. Explain to him in vivid detail that not every person is for everyone. You may like people with round heads, or small eyeballs.. etc. If your friend-zone is blond, tell him you prefer brunettes. Anything just to get him to stop fawning over you in a hopeless quest.
And don’t forget to send him to the sphere.
Keep in mind you *may* lose the friendship altogether. You have to expect it. If he has lingering feelings for you, your friendship will be both awkward and false. The best thing you can do is actively help him start talking to other women, be his wing-man, play him up. The sooner he starts seeing someone else, the quicker his feelings for you will evaporate. The length of the loss can range from permanent, to until he finds someone, to just a short while during which he stews in his own juices while absorbing the “truth” you’ve opened his eyes to.
Beware.. if you successfully wing him towards another woman, you will also have to deal with diminished time and resource allocation from him. He’s pouring all his resources where they need to be, and you are now taking a back seat until he’s established and secure. You may even come to be jealous that you’re no longer #1, especially if he starts to become more confident. But the pay-off is immense. The longer he remains with someone, the more his confidence will carry him and he’ll appreciate you at this point TRULY as a FRIEND for helping him out. Gone will be his supplicating NiceGuy friendship trying to win your heart, replaced by real appreciative friendship of you being there guiding him out of a dark place when he had no light.
Tho if you can’t wing him, or have any friends to wing him to.. you must at the very least break off ties with him for his own good. He might not have the heart to be able to. Lord knows i couldn’t.. not for a long time, not when it actually mattered. But today is a new day.
But whatever you do…
*don’t* tell him to “just be more confident!”