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So I’m at the coffee shop line-up on a cold morning when..

January 23, 2013
Tims-01

You will never find a Tim Horton’s empty. Ever! This pic is just to show off my Photoshop magic!

.. i see the shape of a really hot looking blond in front of me in the line-up. I commiserate with my friend who came with me to Tim Horton’s that this woman in front of us was *my kinda lady*, to which he exclaimed “What… thin?”

[the running joke at our office is that i'm the only one that has standards that won't tap a fatty. Everyone else dies by the creed "It's all wet & pink in the end!" This my friends is the sentiment that has ruined my fair city and grown a generation of entitled slores that put the StayPufft marshmellow man to shame thinking they deserve well built men like me at their beckon call and that i should be so 'lucky' to get with them. I think i just puked in my mouth.]

I simply nod with his assessment of my shallowness and continue to eye this fine specimen in front of me.

Google Images is not playing nice so i had to create my own version. Ignore her holding a win bottle.

Google Images is not playing nice so i had to create my own version. Ignore her holding a wine bottle.

So as she’s standing there, my brain automatically does what i spoke about here at SSM’s place.. not unlike the Terminator’s red eye that tracks proportions to see whether clothes fit. My tracking eye tells me what lies beneath the clothes ;)

Tims-02-terminator

  • 5’7″ –  perfect kissing height in 3 inch heels/booties

  • blonde (i prefer brunette but will not disqualify) with a pony tail of golden locks

  • toned legs in tights wearing cute/sexy ankle warmers and heels

  • the coat obscured the hip/waist ratio but the legs gave enough information to extrapolate proper dimensions of hawt tight bod

  • face… unable to scan… no data available… continue observation…

So as far as i can tell, from behind she earned the M3 seal of approval!

The Official Seal of the Internet

The Official Seal of the Internet

When she finished her order and turned around and i got a good look at her from the front…. gahhh!

WHAAAA?

WHAAAA?

*Possible* over exaggeration of woman’s age and my reaction.. possible.

So i head back into the office to retell the story to the rest of my co-workers . Immediately, my co-worker who i went with starts playing up how ‘shallow’ i was, knowing full well it’s the great way to start of a lively discussion among us… and our female co-worker stood up and asked me just what.. was… wrong with her?

Did she look hideous?

No.

Horrid?

No.

Bucktoothed?

No.

Butterface?

No.

What was it then?

She just looked… old.

The look on her face was both precious and stunning in one fowl swoop. I continued..

Don’t get me wrong, she looked a bit like my aunt, so she looks good for her age.

“OHHHH” she said “..so it’s about her age!”

umm yeah, why wouldn’t it?

She never did call me on it, and i questioned her later that day specifically asking her to tell me whether she viewed my actions as being shallow. She never took the bait. But from that micro expression that flashed across her face coupled with the age remark, the implication of *you bad man, you will leave a woman and trade her up as soon as she shows a wrinkle* could be felt for miles.

[This will be my last post about age, the wall, or smv value for a while. I just needed to pump this anecdote out and have fun with Photoshop  since i know a ton of you are getting kicks out of it and probably spewing your coffee all over the monitor every now and again. Moving on...]

I understand the fear of women behind why they might feel this way. If you choose the wrong guy.. if you choose  a Dr. Doom type persona, one that only ever considers his own interests at all times.. and you’re dumb enough to fall head over heels for him and respect him and love him and adore him and sex him up trying to win him over and he never returns the love, emotional availability and supportive reassurance you require beyond platitudes of an ass slap or telling you ‘aww yer great toots‘ when you fetch him a beer (the reverse of the beta who marries a gold digger and gives and gives and gives without getting so much as a kiss or a handjob only to get divorced), well you’re in deep fucking shit if you’ve done deluded yourself into your 40’s and he picks up and walks away with a 20 year old. [Record breaking run on sentence FTW!] Because hey, that’s what uncaring selfish pricks do. But they’re pretty easy to spot. Well… easy for me anyways..

The problem is, MOST guys.. especially the Beta’s… are not the Dr. Doom type. They don’t have the ego, charisma. extroversion or sociopathic tendencies to pull off such a ruse over the short haul, much less a long one. Hence why they’re Beta’s. Even most Alpha’s aren’t sociopaths. But for some strange fucking reason… it seems one too many women got simply magnetized to these alluring men and seek them out, perhaps because they fulfil the dark triad traits so well by their very nature! Then they rationalize it away by telling everyone within earshot “Oh you don’t know him like i do, he’s a big ol’ softy”. Sure he is toots. Sure he is. The entire feminist belief system that a majority of men are shallow creatures just waiting upon the first grey hair to bolt should be a fucking downright insult to every man walking this earth that wanted to be in a serious relationship with that girl to grow old together with as a team! Loyalty, duty, respect, selfless service, honor, integrity are the values decent men cherish and bring to the table as men!

Yet the stereotype of the caddish cheating philandering and wife trading male persists as being innate in ***all*** men!

This lark is PURE. FUCKING. PROJECTION by the minority of women who like moths to a flame got burnt by their own choices and lack of awareness. There is no epidemic of men leaving their old wives for younger women (maybe hollywood, not elsewhere).. there is however a divorce epidemic in the America’s where women are incentivized to leave on a no-fault whim to the tune of 67%(or higher?)… or simply turn off the taps of intimacy and respect or go cheat on a man thereby forcing him to fill out the remaining 23%.

We are not the hypergamous sex my dears. Not by a fucking long shot. BRIFFAULT’S LAW doesn’t apply to men cupcake.

No sir-eee bob.. the majority of men are not sociopaths. You know what else the majority of men are? Here a hint… [LINK]

Yes… it is women who have so much to fear from teh ebil menz waking up one day and just saying “Hmmmmm no sir, i don’t like it.” and packing a suitcase to go walk off into the sunset.

smells_like_bullshit

So now that we’ve taken that wonderful link laden trip throughout the main fear of aging women and the diabolical trope about men leaving their wives for younger and hotter playthings after years of being together, let me use my own experience to detail why it’s so insidious and used to scare women to keep them from marrying young, instead telling them to go running out to amass a shit ton of debt for a worthless degree just so you could be a wage slave for the majority of your fertile years instead of placing your priorities where it actually counted and would reap benefits a thousand times more worth and value than your earnings so you could buy a lavish condo to live in with your cats. Ohhh, and if you believe the lies of the 0.82 cents to every mans dollar cannard, it’ll take you even LONGER to pay.

Ohhhh, and to any fucking feminist trolls that may be roaming looking for carrion to shove up their shnoz, listen up. My ex wife was half year older than me, it never… EVER crossed my mind to even think such a thing.

While we were courting, while we were engaged, when we got married and while we were living together with my beta supplication killing her attraction towards me. Even at the lowest point of my separation i still thought she was beautiful which only made the pain of the split even worse. It was only 6 months removed from the marriage and having broken all ties with her financially, domestically and emotionally that i began to notice. Once the blinders were off could i start to see her ageing before my eyes. She’s still a very good looking woman for her age, i give credit where it’s due..  (like i said, i got high standards, and she’s Polish) she’s fit, stays in shape and i would still quantify her as attractive. But with no more love left in my heart..

DO YOU FUCKING THINK I WOULD CHOOSE HER OVER A 25 YEAR OLD???

And this was a woman i loved and adored for years! 17 to be exact. While not ideal, actually she was a terrible case of ‘friendzone’.. we pretty much grew up together and had a lot of memories over half our lifetimes. That still accounts for something. I still have feelings for my ex and there are days when i do miss her.. at least the part that was cute, bubbly, affectionate and looked up to me with respect and adoration. And even that is not enough NOW to make me decide to choose her again over a woman 10 years her junior.

Because that love is no longer there to blind me.

So now that you know all this…

IF I WOULDN’T GIVE MY EX-WIFE ANOTHER CHANCE AT THIS POINT EVEN WITH OUR HISTORY, WHY SHOULD I GIVE A STRANGER LIKE YOU ONE WHEN I CAN STILL LOOK FOR SOMEONE YOUNGER?

If marriage and kids are your ultimate prize, prioritize, build a strong relationship early with a man you can envision being a father and nurture it, fight for it, go to war for it. Because it’s certainly not up to me to save your dream of ‘having it all’ once your alarm goes off after you’be been hitting the snooze button around 15 years. Danny rightly unloads a volley of truth in today’s post which i will truncate here:

She gave me the standard, “why can’t I find a BF. “I have a great job, make great money, I’m well educated, I’ve travelled. What’s wrong with me.” My answer was simply.

“The problem is you need to find a GF. Men don’t give a fuck about any of the crap you listed. I’m more attracted to the chick serving me fries at my burger place than a 30 year old business women.”

She was stunned. This woman WANTS a family and marriage.

And you know what?

My name is M3 and i approve of this message.

And THIS does not make me shallow, no matter how many feminists shit their shorts reading this.

angry_feminist

Note** this is not a piece about me hating old women, not telling ladies that are hitting the wall their life is over. What this is can be summarized as a tale of the boogey man. Look, i’m in the midst of trying to date a single mom right now. As i said, i don’t want kids… at this point in my life so she would fit the bill. She already has a kid, i don’t have to worry (much) about an oopsie. But this will be a relationship that never leads to marriage and would never lead to me having kids. Make sure you grok that as the take-away from this. While i will entertain a relationship with an older woman providing it adds good things to my life.. it would never cross into marry/kid combo. And if that’s what you want in life, do what you can to avoid the big bad boogey man.

However, if i ran into a 23 year old tomorrow who made my life extra bright throughout, i could actually consider coming out of retirement…

Warning – I guess i should have put this at the top of the post but this is a link heavy article. If the internet crashes…

35 comments

  1. This is a hilarious post. I got more laughs out of this than I do from some of the *good* articles posted on Cracked. Great illustrations. Here’s the truth: a lot of women just aren’t serious about getting married. Due to entitlement mentality, they feel as if they are deserved to have something fall in their laps. But we all knew that. Standard issue knowledge around these parts. The thing that really throws me for a loop is how women will justify their not be marriage-material. It’s as clear as night and day that you wouldn’t make an ideal wife to all *men* (not white knights) who meet you yet your grrrrrrrrrrrrl power sisters and beta orbiters keep artificially pumping you up.

    The hamster is strong…


  2. My ex was six years older than me, and I can remember thinking (wrongly) that it could be a plus. Older. Wiser. Less prone to the kind of flaky bullshit I was used to from women my age and younger. She had the yoga pants body when we got together, and didn’t look remotely close to her age.

    Now, with the blinders off? Gah! She still has the yoga pants (she’s an instructor) body but with our custody arrangement I only have to see her the three or four times a year she pops in to visit our daughter, and when months go by and no love lost, she’s lookin’ mighty old. That she takes professional methods (botox, chemical peels) to hide it only makes it worse, and that much more obvious.

    Despite our history, I wouldn’t give her another chance because she’s a fucking terrible human being who stains my eyeballs with her blown-out, weather-beaten visage more often than should be legally allowed. She could at least apologize. Wear a veil. Something. Hell, anything. But no.


  3. Why am I a Christmas Tree with rabbit ears?


  4. What sorcery is this?


  5. /reroll save vs polymorph


  6. 5′,7′ and 134lbs?

    That’s kinda heavy for this sailor.


  7. Sorta like Shemp in this:


  8. Women should be aware of the “love blinders” men have. When you are in love you still see that attractive young faced lady…however once the blinders come off you think “what the hell was I thinking”.

    I saw that with one of my exes…she still looks ok but not like I saw her when I was with her. The blinders do not however protect you from gaining weight…only age.


  9. @ Vicomte

    There is no saving throw… you just gotta wait it out man, and hope the Dragon guarding the well of avatars is more kind the next time you write a comment.

    http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Polymorph_(Spell)

    Or get a gravatar of invisibility and raise your DC to a level where the dragon simply cannot successfully target you.

    Then steal his treasure. Till then, the dragon mocks you little Coney-Ent.


  10. @ RT

    Hmmmm. Perhaps there’s a glitch in the cyberdyne software, or it’s factoring in the weight of both clothes and wine bottle?

    Heh. My ex was 5’8″ and tho she never copped to it, i guessed her at 135 and she didn’t try to claw my face off so i must have been close (or beat expectations). She had a great figure.

    That said… she’s within the acceptable margins. Take out the wine bottle and 5’7″ + 130lbs = BMI of 20

    http://www.health.harvard.edu/topic/BMI-Calculator

    But i see your point. Prob 115-120 for this bird.


  11. “When you are in love you still see that attractive young faced lady”

    What keeps a man in love? Here’s a hint… it’s not a fierce, tnk grrrl, independent and strong woman attitude.

    It’s making him a morning coffee and presenting it with a beaming smile and a kiss. It’s about asking him how his day went when he gets home from work. It’s about taking a bit of interest in the things he does, asking him for advice AND following through with it, showing trust in his decisions, making him a nice meal and telling him if he does the dishes, he can have his “desert”.. etc…

    just be frickin feminine and add joy to his life, and he’ll feel true love for you, work for you, take care of you, support your ambitions, stand by you, stick up for you and be a man for you.. because seeing you smile is what melts us. And that’s what carries us into old age once beauty fades.


  12. 5′,7′ and 134lbs?

    That’s kinda heavy for this sailor.

    Depends on where the weight is kept. ;)

    My wife’s starting to gray, and I’ve told her not to ever dye her hair. If she goes the ‘fake young’ route, she’s going to look like crap to me when it’s time for a touch up, and she’s going to look like an uncanny valley girl when she doesn’t need one. If she ages gradually, my goggles aren’t knocked askew.


  13. Hey, cool! I’m some kind of Lovecraftian horror from beyond the gates of sanity. And my avatar. Yuk yuk.


  14. I understand BMI is the benchmark for the government health standards, but BFP (body fat percentage) is the gold standard for the Tomassi scale.


  15. Rollo has a DEXA machine at the office. When it beeps the security guard is instructed to tell the girls it’s probably just a filling, but they never get the callback.


  16. BFP eh.. i just learned something new today.

    According to the calc, im at 16%. Healthy.. but i need to do betterer andredouble my plyo efforts so i can get my abs to show up.


  17. My ex gradually turned into a baby cow (115 at marriage to 180 at seperation). It NEVER entered my head to leave her due to the way that she let herself go. Now that my blinders are off, I would never stoop so low to date such a woman now that I am a single man. Love blinders (for men) is a real phenomenon. Judging by how many men are with fatties, methinks women must abuse that trait.


  18. Very interesting post, M3.

    I personally know a lot of womenfolk who are scared of getting a single gray hair or wrinkle at age 45…they claim that if they don’t dye their hair, wax every part of their body, have perfect makeup all day, and use 200 face serums/creams to keep wrinkles away…they will be left out to dry by their husbands.

    Im not for the whole marriage/kids life, but it’s nice to read that most men wouldn’t give up their wives of 18 years just because they’re both getting older (duh).


  19. “Im not for the whole marriage/kids life, but it’s nice to read that most men wouldn’t give up their wives of 18 years just because they’re both getting older (duh).”

    I think most men leave not because she gets older…but she gets progressively bitchier.

    If women want age insurance with their husband stay feminine in attitude too. Your looks will open the door and your attitude will keep him in the house.


  20. Oh man, the first half of this post killed me. I adore your photoshops.

    I don’t think this is age-bashing at all… Young women are more attractive. It is what it is. The red pill is bitter for the ladies too in this regard.


  21. bakku-shan: a girl who appears pretty from behind but not from the front (origin: Japanese)


  22. Old women can and are beautiful too, but we’re speaking purely on biological terms here. It’s innate. There’s no point arguing or fighting it anymoreso than arguing about why hypergamy exists. It just does.

    And while some women will age extremely well, some will not. Selecting someone who’s going to cherish their time with you and create lasting bonding memories ensures you’re not a fresh careerist married at 35, divorced at 39 and crying at 45 about how you deserved so much more than a life with cats in your ‘fabulous’ condo furnished by Ikea.

    But you already knew that ;)

    Glad you love my photoshops. I aim to please!


  23. Pure gold M3!! Keep it up man!!


  24. Oh my, that was hysterical! But you lack passion, M3. Tell us how you really feel. :-)

    Glad I married young. Though at the time everyone thought we were crazy he says I still look exactly like I did when we met (very sweet liar).


  25. [...] Women really need to begin to consider marrying young again.  Not only is your youth a gift to your husband, but it is a lasting gift of how he will see you for the rest of your life.  There are ways to hold onto that beauty.  The anti-aging tips most of us know.  But love puts on blinders or creates these love goggles.  TaterEarl over at M3 states: [...]


  26. Same with my ex of 16 years. Up until we split, and the magic bubble burst, I still saw her as my 25 year old drop dead blonde. I even adored the extensive stretch marks around her waist and breasts, and graying, thinning hair as totems of the children she bore me. Her gap toothed smile beaming up towards me. But now that I am single I could never find such an obese wreck in the least attractive, and look through them as though they barely exist.


  27. The first part of this post was absolutely hilarious, great stuff.

    The second is full of wisdom. We men really are simple creatures!! We really do want to find a girl who hasn’t slept around and love and adore them and get old together. Not that freaking hard.


  28. thanks for the linkage. i actually set that same girl up with one of my readers who lives in her area.

    he dropped her. lol.


  29. There’s this saying in Polish “z tyłu liceum, z przodu muzeum” [high school from behind, museum from the front]. Seems to apply to this situation perfectly. Awesome post.


  30. [...] really need to begin to consider marrying young again.  Not only is your youth a gift to your husband, but it is a lasting gift of how he will [...]


  31. Agreed with original post. I remember the precise moment the love goggles fell off. Three months after the initial separation I met with my ex-wife to discuss the finality of divorce. I was finally over the worst of it and hadn’t seen her in a month. Then as she came over I remember thinking “fuck me, she looks like she hasn’t slept in weeks” and gradually during the meeting I was thinking “No, she’s just a 33-year old woman and that’s how they look”.


  32. […] men they have slept with, if they have been married, have children. If they stick to these “criteria” and “rules” then surely they will marry a great girl. They will live a life […]


  33. […] a woman of the deep dark truth, as a mirror would.. that without a lifetime of memories to put ‘wife goggles’ on a man.. an old aged woman is just that. Old. And aged. And all the men she would like to settle […]


  34. Embedded video set to private. Mind describing the content?


  35. […] was in a line up at Walmart today, and my eyes did what they naturally do without any thought or […]



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